Chapter 9 #5
His eyes widen. “I nearly made you come?” Shit.
He’s got that look in his eyes. The one he always gets before he delivers a crushing blow to my self-confidence.
I want to beg him to wait until later to say whatever awful thing he wants to say, because I don’t think I could handle being laughed at right now.
He looks over at Bubba and sticks his tongue out.
“I almost made him come, Bubs. I’m gonna be the first man who tastes his load. Cry about it, sir.”
My heart swells in my chest. He’s teasing Bubba. Not me.
Bubba smirks, raising an eyebrow. “Sir?”
Ezra’s cheeks darken and he quickly looks away from him and back to me. There’s a mischievous quirk in his smile, and it sends my heart thudding, because it’s the way he always looks at Bubba after he tattles on me or talks shit. He’s looking at me like I’m his friend.
“I like you, Ez,” I tell him, because I do. “Can we be friends? Please?”
He moves closer and wraps his hand around my cock, making my legs shake.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, Johnny. We can be friends.” I watch as his hand pumps me rapidly, my balls making this slapping sound that echoes through the room.
There’s movement to my side, and when I look over, Bubba’s stepping up next to me, stroking that big fuckin’ cock of his, aiming it at Ezra’s face.
“Johnny Boy,” he says to me, squeezing the back of my neck.
God. It’s too much. The affection. The level of belonging when I ain’t ever felt like I belonged at all. These men are changing my world. Making me see things I never saw. And when Bubba’s lips touch mine, a soft contrast to his prickly beard, I know.
I finally fuckin’ get it.
The word that’s been sitting on the tip of my tongue.
I ain’t broken, and I ain’t fuckin’ worthless.
I’m gay.
Ezra’s mouth engulfs my cock, and he don’t even make it halfway before I’m coming down his throat. His eyes blow wide and his lips close around me. I break the kiss, because I need to tell him. He has to know how much this means to me.
“Good boy, Ez,” I praise, combing my fingers through his hair.
He’s looking up at me with such innocent eyes, ones I know couldn’t lie to me right now.
He can’t say a single word, but he don’t have to.
It’s written all over his face. His eyes roll back in his head, and he reaches for his cock, stroking once before jet after jet of his load burns against my shin.
“Such a sweet boy. You’re doing so good, baby. ”
“I’m close,” Bubba pants, stroking himself faster than before. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold back.”
I grip the back of his neck the way he’s gripping mine, touching my forehead to his. “Do it. Come on him. Come on our boy.”
Ezra moans around my cock, nursing the last of my load, his body shaking from his own release.
The sound sends Bubba over, his cock firing right at Ezra.
The first shot lands on his mouth, then another on his cheek.
Ezra pulls off my cock and turns to Bubba, catching the last jet in his mouth.
With his mouth wide open, my entire load is still inside, mingling with Bubba’s cum.
I drop to my knees and motion for Bubba to join us.
Ezra’s staring at us like he’s waiting for instructions.
Once Bubba’s beside me. I lean in for a kiss.
Ezra’s lips meet mine, and it’s the sweetest surrender.
I’ve got my hand on his lower back, and every few seconds, I have to steady him from falling.
Bubba follows along, his lips parted as he joins the fold.
This moment, out of all the moments, is the very best moment.
Our tongues tangle, not dueling for dominance, just learning the lay of the land.
Ezra’s got one hand on Bubba’s ass, the other slowly rubbing my head.
I shaved in the shower this morning, so I know it’s super smooth for him.
One of Bubba’s hands is on my neck, and the other is wedged between Ezra’s cheeks.
For once, we’re connected. There’s no jealousy or bitterness, only truth.
I like these men. I more than like them.
And somehow, for some unknown reason, they seem to like me back.
I want this. I want this so fuckin’ much it aches.
We kiss long after the cum’s been swallowed, existing in this tiny bubble, hidden away from the rest of the world. There ain’t a shred of clothing between us, and ain’t none of us ashamed. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. I feel home. They need to know. I want to tell them.
“Bubba,” I say, breaking the kiss, my voice shaking but sure. “Ez.”
Ezra kisses my neck. “Yeah?”
“I think I figured it out.”
“What’s that?” Bubba asks, squeezing the back of my neck.
“Why my dick is broke. Why it couldn’t get hard for Annie.”
“Johnny,” Ezra says, shaking his head, blissed out of his goddamn mind. “You know the rule.”
“I know. No talking about our sexual history, but it’s important.
” He rests his head on my shoulder looking like he might fall asleep at any second.
“I tried to get hard for her, but I barely could. When I would finally get things going, I’d usually lose steam halfway through.
Even pills didn’t help.” Ezra’s fingers dip between my cheeks pressing softly against my hole.
When I look down at my cock, seeing it slowly swelling back to life, I chuckle.
“My dick ain’t broke, it just ain’t had the right motivation. ”
“What do you mean?” Bubba asks, but judging by the look in his eyes, I think he already knows the answer. He’s smiling so widely at me, I can practically see every tooth in his head. I pause, but he nods like he’s cheering me on.
“I’m gay.”
Ezra’s head whips up in my direction, and his eyes are wide as two moon pies. “You’re what?”
“I’m gay,” I repeat, but he just stands there staring at me in disbelief. “Is that okay?”
He blinks a few times before scowling at me. Sassy Ez is back. Good. I missed him. “What do you mean, is it okay? Why the hell wouldn’t it be okay?”
“You were just staring at me like I was stupid,” I say with a shrug. “I figured you were mad at me.”
“Well that’s just pure fucking stupidity on your part.
” He presses his finger against my hole again.
“I’m proud of you.” His lips touch mine, and it feels like he means it.
Like he’s been here before and he knows how scary it is to figure this part out.
I hope he don’t think I’m stupid for not figuring it out sooner.
“I should’ve known. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize.”
“I didn’t know either,” Bubba says. “I know I ain’t full-on gay, but I didn’t know I liked dudes until I was in my forties. Then again, I had women to anchor me. It must’ve been really confusing for you, Johnny Boy.”
“You knew, though. You must’ve known. Bubba, you know everything. Why didn’t you say something?”
“I did, baby. I told you that night we kissed.”
“You said I was bi. You said you thought I liked both.”
Bubba shrugs. “I heard you fuck Annie at the house, that time. I figured you were about a ninety-ten split in your attraction. Maybe I should’ve read the signs a little better. That’s my bad, Johnny Boy.”
“You kissed?” Ezra asks, and I close my eyes and sigh, because I really don’t want him to launch into one of his jealous tirades.
“Yeah,” I say, looking up at Bubba. “We kissed.”
Ezra turns around and looks up at Bubba. “Kiss him again. He just came out, and you’ve yet to even congratulate him. Bad Daddy. Naughty Daddy.” His cheeks burn red. “Johnny’s Daddy. Not mine.”
“Sure,” I say, but he turns and scowls at me.
“I’m trying to help you, asshole.”
Bubba snorts a laugh, then moves forward until he’s right in front of me.
“I’m glad you finally figured it out.” His lips touch mine, sending a chill running down my spine.
The kiss is gentle at first, but quickly deepens, and he rests a hand on my ass, kneading me like dough, grinding his cock against me.
We let the kiss linger a while, but I start feeling bad, because Ezra’s right here, watching, with no one’s focus on him.
I reach blindly for him as I moan into Bubba’s mouth, and then Ezra’s fingers weave with mine and grips me tightly.
“So fucking hot,” Ezra breathes. His lips land on my neck, making me gasp. Giggling like a mischievous moron, Ezra pulls away, and Bubba and I break the kiss.
Bubba strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I really am proud of you, you know.”
“Do I have to tell everyone now?”
Ezra rubs my back. “You don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready. You don’t have to tell anyone anything at all, if you don’t want to.”
“They’ll know when they see us together. If this thing keeps heading where it seems to be heading, it’ll be obvious.”
“Then let them look. Let them keep looking,” Ezra says. “If it’s about the label itself, dating a man doesn’t automatically make you gay. They could think you’re bi. Or pan. Or demi. There are a plethora of sexualities under our sunny sky. Fucking a man in the ass doesn’t make you gay by default.”
I roll my eyes. “I know that.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I’m just embarrassed it took so long for me to realize it. Everyone’s going to think I’m even stupider than I already am. When did you know you were gay, Ez?”
“You’re not stupid. Stop saying that.” His eyes have a fiery determination in them, so I dip my head up and down, letting him know I’ll try. “As for me, I was eleven, but I’ve always known I was different. I finally figured it out when I fell madly in love with Parker McMillan.”
“Who the fuck is Parker McMillan?” Bubba growls.