Chapter 11 #2
“You were scared.” It’s true. I know Johnny pulled a dick move by running away when Bubba needed him most, but Johnny’s realization that he’s some shade of queer after a lifetime of believing he was straight must have felt like a gut punch.
It was hard enough for me, but I knew what being gay meant.
I knew the label, and I knew I loved the way I looked wrapped up in it.
It’s the way I was born, and it will be the way I die, and there isn’t a single thing wrong with that.
Johnny didn’t know all that, though. For Johnny, being gay wasn’t even an option.
I have no idea how the hell a town could exist for centuries without a single queer person questioning their sexuality long enough for word to get around, but from what Johnny tells me, he’s the first of his kin to turn out queer.
I can’t imagine how confusing it must have been.
“And then you came home and found a devastatingly handsome man sleeping on your side of the bed. I know that must have hurt.”
“Devastatingly handsome?”
“You know it’s true. My point is, I guess I never stopped to consider your feelings until I went through something similar.
That was a real jerk move on my part.” I gnaw on my bottom lip, because I see it through his eyes.
I see how badly we must have hurt him. Johnny came home expecting a cookie-cutter life with his best bro.
He must have felt so fucking happy on the drive home, hyping himself up for a big love declaration, and instead, he got me.
And I fucking gloated. I threw it in his face for months.
“Ez?” His thumb brushes against my cheek. I guess a tear slipped out. “Baby, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Johnny. I’m sorry for taking him from you. For being such a dick about it. She hasn’t even touched him, and it feels like my heart is being sliced down to ribbons. I don’t like it, Johnny. I don’t like it at all.”
“I appreciate that. I won’t lie and say it didn’t suck, because it did.” He inches even closer, though I’m not sure how it’s humanly possible. “But it’s sucking a whole lot less now.” He strokes my cheek with his thumb, making my whole body buzz like a vibrator. “This is weird, isn’t it?”
“The fact that you’re stroking my cheek?” I shrug. “A man once asked to urinate inside my asshole. Trust me, I’ve dealt with weirder shit than codependant jealousy.”
“No, not that.” He stares down at how we’re tangled together, hands touching places they usually wouldn’t, faces so close, we’re practically kissing. “This thing between us. Me and you.”
Me and you.
Johnny thinks there’s a him and me? Is there?
I mean, I’m straddling his lap, my cock only a few inches from his, so obviously, there’s something brewing.
The way he’s looking at me, all nervous like a blushing virgin, makes me think I kind of want there to be a him-and-me.
The pull may not be as strong as it is with Bubba, but it’s there, and considering the speed we’ve traveled the enemies-to-lovers pipeline, I have no doubt one day soon, they’ll stand on equal ground. He’s pretty fucking close already.
“You and me?”
He blushes. “Yeah. If that’s something you’re interested in.” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down like a fishing lure on open water. “I like you, Ez. Is that okay?”
My heart pitter-patters like mad, and I let out a soft whimper as his grip on my hip tightens. I smile softly. “Absolutely unacceptable."
“Then I guess I’ll have to beg your pardon.” God. That country twang. The way he reaches up and dips an imaginary cowboy hat, like a gentleman to a lady. “Little Dick.”
Fuck me, I’m falling for the bastard.
“I’ve warned you, Jonathan. On multiple occasions.
” I’m not into humiliation kink. At all.
In the slightest. I don’t want to be degraded or made fun of for having a perfectly average penis.
I have no desire to place my moderately sized penis beside Johnny’s and ask Bubba to compare them in great detail, showing me inch by inch why Johnny is more of a man than I’ll ever be.
No, I don’t want that at all. I know this about myself, and I'm having trouble reconciling the fact that each time he calls me Little Dick, my mouth goes dry and my cock grows stiff. This cocky motherfucker knows it, too, because he’s looking right at it tenting below.
“Sorry,” he says, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “It’s just so fuckin’ pretty.”
“And it’s big,” I add, and as God as my witness, he better fucking agree. “Say it’s big.”
His hand slips a bit farther back until it’s resting right on my ass. “If that helps you sleep at night.”
I scowl at him, playfully slapping him on the arm, my back arching, leaning into his touch. “Fuck you, prick.”
“Not now. Maybe tonight.”
My eyes bulge. “What?”
He shrugs. “I said what I said, bro.”
“Don’t you dare try to weasel your way out of this by quoting Nene Leakes to me.”
“Relax,” he says, his voice a little more soothing than before, his fingers dragging lightly against my ass, tracing small circles. “I’m only joking with you.”
“Good. Okay. Yeah.” I can barely fucking breathe with the way he’s looking at me, and I know if I don’t shift the subject now, I’ll probably end up with his cock up my ass.
As fun as that sounds, I want Bubba to be here for all our firsts, because he's just as big a part of this as we are. The thought of him out there, his ex-wife probably trying to lay claim to owned property, sends me into a jealous rage. We have to stop her, no matter the cost. I place my finger under Johnny’s chin and tilt his face up until our eyes lock.
“I’m going to need your undivided loyalty and unearned trust for what comes next.
Can I count on you?” Rising to my knees, my legs are spread wide, like a cowboy on a horse.
His eyes dip down to my cock again, but I shake my head. “Down boy.”
Johnny’s eyes look a little foggier than before, and he’s got this thoughtful look on his face.
“For what’s about to come next?” he whispers, but it seems like he’s talking to himself, his mind a million miles away.
“Listen, Ez, as much as I’m into this, I don’t think I’m ready to get fucked in the ass. ”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Trusting you,” he confirms, though the only thing the confirmation brings is more confusion.
“Well, that didn’t help in the slightest, and I’m fairly confident you know that.”
He shakes his head. “You said you need my trust for what comes next. I just figured you were talking about anal sex. You know, because your little dick has been hard the whole time you’ve been on my lap. It isn’t that I don’t like you, it’s just—”
“Jesus Christ, you’re impossible sometimes. Obviously I wasn’t suggesting you ride my perfectly proportionate cock. I’m talking about Jaden and his mom.”
“You want Jay and Faith to—” He doesn’t even finish the sentence, just narrows his eyes, glaring daggers at me. “Do you know how much that would hurt Bubba’s feelings?”
“What?”
“He’s in there trying to figure out a way to break the news about us to his family, probably—”
“He better be.”
Johnny rolls his eyes. “And you’re in here fantasizing about fucking his whole family. I can understand Jay, because he’s a sweet guy with a pretty face, but Faith? You’re gay.”
I groan, moving off the bed and holding my hands in front of my chest. “No. I’m not getting locked into one of these idiotic miscommunication loops with you. There isn’t time. His ex-wife is in there, probably stroking his cock as we speak. It’s time for action.”
His brows meet in the center of his forehead. “We ain’t throwing no goddamn cum balloons.”
“I never said anything about balloons.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s your preferred method of attack. Fuck knows I’ve been hit in the face with enough of them to know. How the hell do you make enough cum to fill them up?”
“I jerk off a lot.”
His eyes drop to my crotch again. “You really do.”
“Well, in any case, they don’t deserve my load, so you don’t have to worry about me bursting any balloons, aside from the ones I aim at you.
” We’re quiet for a moment, gazes set on each other.
“Johnny? Is it weird that Bubba introduced me as his friend? I know we’re not official or anything, but I’m not just a friend to him, am I? ”
“You’re a lot more than just a friend. He worships the ground you walk on. He’s just scared, bro. This is all new to him. It ain’t just the fact he’s dating a dude, now he has to explain that he’s seeing two dudes. He likes you, Ez. I promise, we ain’t got anything to worry about.”
“Famous last words,” I mutter, resting my forehead against his. “But, Johnny?”
“Yeah?”
“What happens if he decides to go back to them? I don’t have anywhere else to go.
I don’t have a job. I don’t have a place to stay.
” I wait for him to respond, but he just stares at me with this curious look on his face.
He’s quiet for a while, the only sound around us being that of the ceiling fan and Dallas and Austin fucking down the hall.
How many loads can two men bust in one day? Christ.
“You’ve got a place to go.”
“I literally don’t.”
He leans a little closer, and our lips touch. It’s not the first time we’ve kissed, but there’s something different about this one. Less passion, more heart. Softly, he moans into my mouth, and I swallow the sound, hoping I can hold onto it forever.
“You’ve always got a place to go,” he repeats, his lips brushing against mine with each word. “I think I want to keep you, Little Dick.”
“You do?”
He nods. “I think I want to keep you for a while. Maybe even longer.”