Chapter 13 #2
Johnny scrubs his face before telling Jaden, “I’d say he ain’t always like this, but that would be a lie.
” The moment Jaden’s hand touches Johnny’s, Ezra’s eyes turn to narrow slits.
“That’s how you play it now? The wife wasn’t enough to fill your love tank, so now you’ve got to beget the son and heir? ”
Johnny blinks at him. “I don’t know what those words mean.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of your limited vocabulary, and any other day, I might take a moment to cuddle you and tell you it’s alright that you don’t know big words, because I know them all, and I’m happy to break it down into simpler terms, but not today.
Not after what I witnessed earlier. I’m absolutely livid with you, Jonathan. ”
“What?” Johnny’s eyes widen. “You’re mad at me now?”
“Much more than mad. You’re lucky you still have an intact head.
A lesser man would have removed it from your body already.
” He closes his eyes, deeply breathing again, pursing his lips as he slowly blows out.
“I inhale love, I exhale rage.” He reaches for the tarot cards but stops halfway, shaking his head.
Changing course, he places his hand on either side of his crystal ball, making my heart race.
I’ve never seen him work with the ball. I guess I just assumed it was only for show.
My stomach spins, because I’m a little nervous about what the ball will reveal.
Will he see all the times I’ve busted a nut while staring at his pictures?
Is he going to find out I’ve already used the L-word while talking about him with Dallas and Clint?
He moves his hands around mystically, like he’s clearing smoke from his field of view, creating a clearer picture.
“The thing is, when spirits are at play, nothing can be hidden away. And, yes, Bubs. I’m aware that was a lovely rhyme. ”
“Faulkner?” I ask, but my baby just shakes his head.
“La Toya Jackson,” he corrects me. “Or maybe it was Rebbie Jackson. I’m not entirely sure. Neither of their discographies are particularly memorable. The point is, whatever you bastards are hiding is about to come out. You better fucking believe I’m going to talk about it. The spirits never lie.”
“They lied when you accused me of trying to kill Daddy in an insurance fraud plot,” Austin points out. “You called the police, Ezra.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’re still complaining about that? Tell me, Aussie, are you big mad? Are you gonna cry real hard? Are you gonna go ‘wah-wah-wah,’ all the way home?”
Austin folds his arms in front of his chest and huffs. “Prick.”
“You love me.”
“Debatable.”
“You called the police on him?” Johnny asks, but Ezra just flips him off,
“I see the future, I see the past,” he says, staring into the crystal ball.
“I see an absolute jackass.” His eyes dart back and forth between Faith and Johnny.
“The crystal ball sees all. Let’s see what she wants to show us today.
Let’s find out what diabolical deeds Barbara is about to bring to light.
” His eyes narrow as he glares at Johnny.
“Your cheeks are a little flushed, Jonathan. Are you scared of what I’m about to see?
Is there some sordid little secret hiding in your closet? ”
Johnny swallows. “No. It’s just really hot in here.”
“The air conditioner is on sixty,” he retorts.
“It’s on what?” I ask sternly. “Ezzy, we’ve talked about the thermostat. You’re not allowed to put it any lower than sixty-nine.”
“And if you ever want to experience another sixty-nine again, you will butt out of this conversation. I adore you, Bubs, but don’t you dare pick a side.” He pauses, chewing his cheek, looking more precious than he has any right to. “Unless you pick my side.”
“I’m not picking a damn side. I’m reprimanding you.”
“Tomato, potato,” he says, fixing his gaze back on the ball. “Oh, what’s this? A homewrecker and a man who claims to care for me, locking lips like absolute bastards? Barbara, dear, why on Earth would you show me this? I don’t understand.”
Okay, well, I know he ain’t really talking to Barbara, because he’s got this deranged twitch in his eye, and he only ever looks visibly annoyed with Barbara, not like he’s ready to throw away the next twenty-to-life for murder. Ezra flings his arm, aiming a finger right at Johnny. “It’s you.”
Johnny swallows nervously. “What is?”
“Listen to me, jackoff. If you think I’m going to let you make me fall for you, only for you to fall madly in love with someone else, leaving me high and dry, you’re gravely mistaken.
I’m not Austin Snowden. I’m not going to sit around, sobbing into your coveralls for ten years because my mom is fucking the man I love, and I’m too much of a chicken-shit to do anything about it. ”
Dallas gapes at him, but Austin just tilts his head to the side and nods. “An accurate—albeit brutal—assessment of our love story.”
“I trusted you, Johnny. I told you I was scared, and you said I didn’t have to be scared anymore. You said I wouldn’t ever have to be on my own again. You promised.”
“And I meant it. You ain’t got to worry about getting hurt anymore, Little Dick. You won’t be alone, because you’ve got me. I don’t understand what’s happening. Just tell me what I did wrong, and I’ll make it right.”
“Little Dick?” Faith and Jaden whisper together.
Ezra shakes his head decidedly, turning his attention back to his crystal ball, moving his hands around it like one of those static electricity science fair projects that make your hair stand on end.
He’s gazing into it deeply like he’s searching out grains of rice hidden in sand.
Something must be clear in the crystal ball, because Ezra’s eyebrows meet like he’s lost in the image painted in front of him, and the sass leaves him momentarily.
“Wow,” he whispers to himself, surprised. Leaning a little closer, he drops the theatrics and cocks his head to the side like he does when he’s watching a really serious movie. “Who is Soliloquy?”
He might as well have ripped the heart from my chest, shredding it to ribbons in front of me. Faith shares a look with me, and I can’t hold eye contact, so I look away.
“How do you know about Soliloquy?” Faith asks, but Ezra doesn’t look up from the ball.
I stare at my boy in awe. “Yeah. How did you know about her?”
“As I’ve stated far more times than I should have to, I am a psychic, Bubs. This is literally what I do.”
“Yeah, but you’re a fake psychic,” Clint says.
“And you’re a fake gay, walking around, flashing that fucking ass at unsuspecting queer men.
Getting us hot and bothered, only to throw our hearts and erections into the fire, watching us burn down to dust and raw, unbridled lust. We’re not playthings, you queerbaiting douchebag. Booyah, asshole. Roasted.”
“I ain’t any type of gay, I don’t flash anything at gay guys,” Clint argues, “and you didn’t roast shit.”
“No. I’ve said it, so it’s true. You’ve been roasted. Cry about it.” Closing his eyes, Ezra mumbles something under his breath. His eyes shoot open and lock with Clint’s. “There. Now, you’re cursed. Your cock will never harden again. Cope.” He looks over at me.
“Soliloquy was a little dachshund we had. Our neighbor poisoned her.”
Ezra gapes at me. “That’s awful. Do you want me to curse your old neighbor too?”
I shake my head. “There’s no need. I handled it. Broke both his fuckin’ hands and gave him a DIY trachea. He survived. It’s a shame.”
Swallowing, Ezra nods, looking nervous. “Remind me never to break your heart, lest I wish to find myself dead in a ditch.”
“I would never hurt you, Ezra,” I assure him, but his eyes just narrow again.
Ezra stares into the crystal ball again. “Why is Barbara reflecting an image of go-go boots?”
“Are they pink?” Faith asks, and Ezra nods. Faith wriggles around in her seat like an excited child. “Does Barbara know where they are? I’ve been looking for them for years.”
I sure fuckin’ hope not. The thing is, the shoes were ugly as fuck, and Faith couldn’t walk right in them.
She almost cracked her skull in the driveway once, tripping over her own damn ankle as I tried to catch her, only to fall and slam my head into a rosebush face-first like we were starring in The Three Stooges or some shit.
I’ve still got the small scar below my left eye to prove it.
“They look like they’re currently in a landfill. Either that, or downtown Dallas. Honestly, it could be either, they’re essentially one and the same. Regardless, they’re in a puddle or pond at the landfill. They’re fully submerged in water.”
Faith sucks in a sharp breath, and I can’t say I blame her.
Ezzy’s touching on ground he doesn’t need to be touching on.
Faith looked for those boots for weeks before finally giving up, Thank God she did.
If she ever finds out I tossed them to keep her safe, she’ll probably claw my heart out.
Ezra looks up at me, and there’s a knowingness in his eyes.
“A landfill?” Faith asks. “Gee, I wonder how the hell they ended up there.” She raises an eyebrow at me.
I give Ezra a final pleading look, and he immediately launches into action, leaning closer to the ball, blowing with his lips.
Once he’s cleared whatever fake fog he’s staring at, he nods proudly to himself.
“Actually, that’s not water. It’s a fire.
You set them too close to the fireplace and they caught aflame, roasting down to ash.
You should really be more careful. You could've killed someone.”
“I still could,” Faith counters, folding her arms over her chest. “We’ve never had a fireplace.”
“Every place is a fireplace, if you try hard enough,” Ezra says, staring defiantly at her. “Would you like to gaze into my crystal ball, Faith? Do you want to assume the role of this family’s resident psychic? Why don’t you give it a shot, since you think you know so much?”
“Dammit to Hell,” I groan, scrubbing my face.