Chapter 14 #2
“Neither do I,” I say with a bitter laugh. “In case you missed it, I’m kind of a fuckin’ trainwreck. I might not be any good at any of this either. Maybe I’m the one who ain’t worth the trouble.”
“At least we’ll be unworthy together.”
I glance over at Bubba, only to find him staring proudly at me, nodding, indicating I ought to keep going. It warms my heart to know he trusts me with soothing our boy, and I give his hand a squeeze to thank him before turning my attention back to Ezra. “We’re in this, Ezra. We want this.”
“He’s right,” Bubba says. “You’re ours now, Ezzy. You’re ours, and we’re yours.”
He closes his eyes and lets out a gentle sigh of relief before snarkily asking, “Who says I want either of you?” His eyes open, and there’s this mischievous glint in them, all sparkles and sass and mayhem swimming beneath the surface.
“You did. You literally just said it, bro.”
“I know. I just wanted to rile you up. You’re fun to tease. Bubba is too, but he doesn’t fight back, so it always feels like I’m emotionally abusing a Golden Retriever.”
“You shouldn’t hit dogs,” I tell him, because I’m a little worried I’m falling for the guy, and the last thing we need is a future serial killer on our hands.
I mean, if he did murder a bunch of people, I’d help him stash the bodies, but ending a life has to be emotionally taxing, and I don’t want him worrying about alibis and accusations.
“Forever,” Bubba interrupts, probably knowing if we keep up with the banter, we’ll never get off the phone, and I’ll never get off in Bubba’s mouth. “Can I keep you forever, Ezzy.”
“Do you want me too, Johnny? For forever, like Bubba?”
I swallow, trying to buy myself time. Fuck.
I didn’t expect him to outright ask. What do I say?
I know I want him. I know now that I’ve opened myself up to this experience—to these men—I want more, but will I want it forever?
What if I end up breaking Little Dick’s heart? He’s already been through so much.
“I want you,” I whisper, closing my eyes like it’ll make this all so much easier if I can’t see him. “God. Fuck. I want you.” I force myself to look him in the eyes. “I think I’ve had a big stinking crush on you since the day we met.”
“That can’t be true. You hated me. I saw it in your eyes. I hated you back.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Did you, though?”
Ezra just sighs and stares down. “A little.” He peeks up through his lashes. “Maybe a little more than just a little.”
“You look so fuckin’ sexy when you’re acting all shy.” I caress my cock through my coveralls, slowly pumping my half-hard shaft.
He whimpers. “I can see your shoulder. The way it’s moving. Are you jerking off?”
I angle the phone down at my bulge. “I’m halfway there, but I ain’t pitching a full tent yet.”
“You may not be, but I am,” Bubba says, and when I look down, angling the phone so Ez can see him, too, I gasp. Bubba is fully hard. His cock is throbbing, bobbing and leaking through the thick fabric of his coveralls.
“Ez, would it bother you if Bubba and I …”
“If you what?”
Not wanting to say it, I angle the phone down at my bulge to show him my situation again. “I could really use a nut.” The words are hushed, because I don’t want to risk Dallas overhearing—not that he could with all five industrial fans blowing around us.
Ezra’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you asking my permission to have sex with Bubba?”
I should have known he’d have an issue with it. My little guy’s been abandoned by all the people who were supposed to stick around. I worry the question will hurt whatever progress we’ve made these last few weeks, but when he rolls his eyes, I realize any worry I’ve been feeling ain’t necessary.
“Jesus, Johnny. You’re acting like you just asked if I’d help you rob a liquor store.”
“Well, I don’t know how this is all supposed to work,” I admit. “I’ve only been in one relationship before. I don’t know what the rules are. I don’t want you to feel left out, Little Dick.”
“Johnny? Baby, look at me.” When I look up, he’s got this serious expression on his face. There’s a gentleness to it, though. “You never have to ask my permission to have sex with Bubba.”
“I’m sorry, I should know this stuff. I need to know this stuff. I’m going to end up fucking this up. I don’t know shit, and it’s confusing, and I have no idea what our rules are, or where the lines are drawn.”
“You’re overthinking it,” Bubba tells me, but I’m not overthinking shit.
“Ezra needs—” I say before being cut off.
“You don’t get to decide what I do or don’t need,” Ezra quietly says. “I’ve never done this either. With more than one guy at a time.”
“See?” I say, because he just proved my point. “You’re going to need us to guide you, and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”
Bubba squeezes my knee. “None of us know what we’re doing.”
“Exactly,” Ezra says. “So, if you guys want to have fun while I’m not around, it’s fine. This thing between us doesn’t have to be all or nothing.” He must see the way I’m wrestling with reality internally, because he quickly adds, “You’re right though.”
“I am?”
“About tonight, I think we should all sit down and have a talk. We can get everything out in the open so there’s no confusion and no unnecessary feelings of guilt. We’ll come up with rules that feel fair so none of us get hurt.”
Bubba grins. “Good boy, Ezzy. We’re all adults here. We’re capable of sitting down and having a rational discussion without, well, actually, maybe not.”
“Don’t,” Ezra warns him, his voice sharp like a knife. “I know what you’re about to say, and I don’t want to hear it.”
“All I was gonna say is you ain’t exactly rational most of the time.”
He groans. “I know. That’s why I asked you not to say it. Must you insult me at every turn?”
“I’ve never insulted you.”
“You called my penis small earlier.”
Bubba rolls his eyes. “That’s not an insult, it’s a scientific fact. I love your little cock. You know that. Hell, I worship the fuckin’ ground you walk on, but I won’t sit here and listen to you flat-out lie.”
“He has a point,” I add, smirking, because I know it’ll piss him off. Sure enough, he glares at me.
“I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve this level of venom, but I won’t sit here and listen to this horse shit. What the fuck did I ever do to either of you?”
Wanting to see more of his sassy side, I speak up, reminding Ezra, “You cut up all my underwear because you thought I was fucking Jaden.”
“I did no such thing. This is just more of your blatant anti-Ezra propaganda, and it will not stand.”
“I caught you with them in your hand.”
“I know. I’m not denying destroying your godawful underwear, I’m denying the reasoning behind their destruction.”
“But that’s what you said when I asked you.”
“Correct.”
“Do you want to elaborate?”
He shrugs. “Not really, but since you seem hellbent on beating a confession out of me, I guess I don’t have much choice.
I didn’t cut them up because of Jaden. I cut them up because you weren’t paying attention to me.
” He closes his eyes and sighs. “I wanted to sit on your lap, but you never invited me over. I kept looking at it and everything.”
“That’s why you kept looking at my dick? For fuck’s sake, I thought you were just checking me out. I didn’t know you wanted to sit on my lap. Why didn’t you ask?”
“You wouldn’t have let me. Jaden was there, and I didn’t want you to shoot me down in front of him and humiliate me. I know you, Johnny, and you come from a place of no.”
“I do what?”
“You come from a place of no. When I asked you for a puppy, you told me no. When I said I wanted to learn to do the cha-cha, you practically laughed in my face. And how many times have I asked you to wipe the toilet rim when you accidentally piss on it? Do I mind your tinkle touching me when I sit down to pee? No, because I get to carry a little part of you with me once my bladder is empty. We aren’t the only ones who live here, though.
” He points an angry finger at me through the phone.
“What if Jaden got horny and decided to lap it up from the seat as he strokes his massive cock? When I saw him peeing from behind that time, it was dangling between the gap in his thighs. It was even bigger than yours, Bubs.”
Bubba makes a sound like he’s going to be sick. “Can we please leave my son’s penis out of this?”
Ezra throws his hands in that air. “I would love to, but how can I when Johnny’s practically using his piss as some sort of cock-hungry siren song?” His eyes meet mine. “If he ever tastes your urine—regardless of circumstance—I will end you.”
This conversation is going nowhere, and the sooner this call ends, the sooner I get to go upstairs to Bubba’s office. Just him and me. Alone. I’m going to suck his cock in a few minutes, and as much as I want that, I still want Ezra to be here for it.
“You will not,” I argue.
“See? There it is. Your default setting is no. Can you really blame me for not asking if I could sit on your lap when you make every conversation a battle to the emotional death? Do you know how mortifying it would be to ask, only to be shut down in front of our friends and family?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “I wouldn’t let you get a puppy because you can barely remember to feed yourself, much less a pet.
As for the cha-cha, you didn’t just want to learn it; you told me I had to go too.
I ain’t a dancer, Ez. You want to talk about embarrassing?
I ain’t coordinated, and I’d make a total fool out of myself in front of the whole class. I ain’t limber or agile like you.”
“You’re very agile,” he assures me. “Case in point, the way you twisted your body into a pretzel when I was stroking your cock last night. If you can roll your hips as rhythmically as you pump gallon upon gallon of your cum directly into my mouth, I’m pretty sure you can handle the cha-cha.
” He sighs dreamily. “Your cum tasted so fucking good, Johnny.”
I blush. “You liked it?”