Chapter 16 #5
“I’m—She can’t …” Ez closes his eyes and huffs out a breath. “Dammit, Babs.”
He ain’t admitting it, but he also ain’t denying it. I know this thing between us is new, but the longer I spend with him, the more natural it feels, because Ezra is mine. Mine and Bubba’s. I think a big part of him knows that we’re his too.
“You ain’t gotta say it,” I say. I think he wants to say it, though.
He’s just scared, same as me. Probably for the same damn reason as me, and all.
Scared of what this might mean for us. Scared of what it might mean for the sense of belonging he’s finally found, here with me and The Core Four.
He don’t want to label it, because if he does, it makes it real, and if it’s real, it means it can end, and then where will he be?
I know it’s something he struggles with, because it’s something I struggle with too.
I’d be nothing without Bubba, and now, I’d be even less without Ezra.
They’re two halves of my heart, and if this goes belly-up, Bubba ain’t going to be able to pick between us.
We’ll all end up alone. Bubba’s got Jaden.
I’ve got Dunsberry. Ezra—my sweet, sweet boy—ain’t got anyone but Austin.
“It’s okay,” Momma says, soothing Ezra. “She said you might not be ready to talk about it. You take all the time you need. She also says there’s a piece of paper I need to find. Something that’s been hidden from you all your life. I have to find it, otherwise, she’ll never be able to rest.”
“Rest?” Ezra asks, and he has this panicked look on her face. “As in, leave? She’s not going anywhere, is she?”
Mom shrugs, but she’s giving him this real sympathetic look, like she knows how scared he is, and she wants to put him at ease.
“She never mentioned anything about leaving, just that she’s really tired, sugar.
Don’t worry your pretty little head. She promised everything is going to be okay.
” With a nod, she turns and smiles at me, and I get the strange feeling Barbara may have told Momma more than she’s willing to admit.
The strange thing is, I kind of wish Barbara did, because if she’s explained it already, I won’t have to do the whole men-can-love-other-men song and dance all over again.
Momma’s got the same far-away look in her eyes Ezra gets sometimes.
“Yeah, Barb. I know. You don’t have to keep beating a dead horse. ”
“It’s so cool that I’m not the only one who can hear her tacky ass.”
Momma nods. “She’s a handful, I’ll give you that.
” She scowls. “Yes, Barb. Shut up about it already. I’ve got it covered.
” Suddenly, Momma reaches for Ezra’s cheek and gives it a pinch.
“She sent me here to help you. I’m going to get you all sorted.
We can talk more in the morning. I think I may need to lie down. The trip took everything out of me.”
“You slept the whole way,” Pete argues.
“And I’m going to sleep some more. Do you have a problem with that?” she asks. Pete sighs and shakes his head. “That’s what I thought.” Looking back at me, she frowns. “I didn’t even think to ask if you have room for us to spend the night.”
I roll my eyes. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Of course there’s room. There’s always room for family. Just ask Jaden. The sassy little guy walked in and laid claim to the place.
“The sofa pulls out,” Ezra says. “I don’t, but the sofa does.”
“Jesus, Ezra,” I say, choking on air.
“Oh, please. She doesn’t know what I meant. She’s like Polly-fucking-anna, all innocence and doe-eyed optimism.”
“I’ll grab some sheets and a blanket,” Bubba says, his cheeks flushed red.
Momma chuckles to herself. “The sofa sounds fine, baby. Mighty fine. I’m just going to go change into my nightgown. Johnny, baby, would you mind setting the sofa up for me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She walks toward the archway leading into the hall and pauses, looking back at Ezra.
“And you may want to reconsider your stance on pulling out of hard situations. Johnny’s daddy didn’t like to pull out, either.
” She winks at him. “Being barefoot and pregnant at twenty isn’t an easy path.
” She leans in and kisses Ezra’s forehead.
“Barbara says that’s from her. She said it’s very important you know it’s from her.
I’m going to go get a sip of water before bed.
” Leaving Ezra with a gaping mouth, she leaves the room.
Pete stands, bringing Jaden along for the ride.
“I think it’s time we tuck you in, little man,” Pete says to Jaden. “I could tell you a bedtime story if you want.”
Once Pete carries Jaden to bed, it’s just Ezra and me in the living room. He stands from the sofa and moves one of the seat cushions on top of our quilt box by the window.
“Johnny?”
“Yeah?” I grab the cushion nearest me and place it on top of the one Ez just moved. He doesn’t respond, so I look over at him, and when I do, he’s staring at me with wide, nervous eyes. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. At least, I don’t think it is. You might think so, but, well, you know.”
“But what?”
He swallows. “Barbara never lies.”
“What do you mean?”
He doesn’t say anything. He takes my hand and squeezes.
It’s like in that video Ezra makes me watch sometimes of the lady with the stretched-back face, yammering on about how when her eyes connect with the audience at her shows, there’s a connection.
Faye Runaway or some shit, I think. Faye is right.
It really is thrilling. When Ezra watches the video, he always beams like a maniac as Faye Runaway tells someone to get the fuck out of her eyeline, but I don’t want him out of mine.
I think I want him in my eyeline forever.
I furrow my brow, because he still ain’t answering. “Ezra, I asked you a question. What do you mean?”
He bites his bottom lip like he’s considering his next move. Whatever flicker of a flame may have been burning in his eyes finally fizzles out, and my sweet boy shrugs, grabbing the final cushion off the sofa. “Nothing. I’ll tell you later.”
“You know I hate when you do that.”
“And you know I hate when you eat acidic foods before bed, because it makes you gassy and nasty, but you don’t see me complaining.” There’s no real heft to his voice, and it’s almost like he’s putting on an act, trying to distract me from something. Fine. If that’s what Ezra needs, he’s got it.
“I like lemons. I ain’t gonna fuckin’ apologize for it, bro.”
“You literally cut them in half and suck the juice out for hours. It's vile.”
“It’s delicious.”
“It gives you heartburn,” he growls, his face suddenly going serious.
“And your heart is too fucking precious to burn, so knock it off.” Driving the point home, he pokes his in finger my chest. “It’s an abomination, and it’s enough now.
No more. I won’t stand for it.” I don’t have a response to that, because it’s probably the sweetest thing he’s ever said to me.
“Little Dick,” I whisper, my voice sounding like a love-sick fool. And Jesus fuckin’ Christ, the way I just made him blush makes my heart slam harder.
“You may not stand for it, but I bet you’ll kneel,” Bubba says, walking into the living room with a trove of sheets and blankets, slapping Ezra’s ass as he walks by.
It’s just the three of us now, the way I wanted it to be earlier.
The way it’s going to be in just a few minutes when we head upstairs to bed.
He kisses Ezra’s forehead. “Sorry I had to rush off, baby. I didn’t mean to leave you on your own.
” He slaps Ezra’s ass again, gentler this time, letting his palm linger, and Ezra arches his back, leaning into the touch.
“That’s assault, and assault isn’t cute, Daddy,” Ezra pouts, but there ain’t much truth in his voice.
“Maybe not, but your ass sure is,” Bubba says, making Ezra’s cheeks blush.
“Shut up,” he says, whirling around on his heel and grabbing a set of sheets from the linen closet. He tosses the sheets at me and throws his hands in the air dramatically. “I didn’t sign up to be a hotel housekeeper. I don’t even make my own bed.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, my voice a little sterner than before. “I’m the one who has to make it every day.”
“You only do that because you like to sniff the spot where my dick was pressed against the sheets all night. It’s fucking feral, Johnny.” He licks his lips. “I love that about you.”
I blush. Can’t help it. “Do not.”
“Do too.” His lips touch mine, ever so gently, and only for a moment. “Keep doing it. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“You think so?”
“It gets me hard, sir,” he whispers. “Watching you breathe the scent of my balls gets my cock so hard it could break a board.”
My own cock twitches in response. “Fuck. Ezra.” I reach down and flick his bulge. “Baby, you couldn’t even break a hymen with that thing.”
He whimpers. Fuck, yeah.
Half an hour later, the house is quiet and all is calm. We’re all in bed, and Ezra is cuddled up in Bubba’s arms, but he’s facing me. Bubba has his hand around Ezra’s cock, casually stroking the half-hard dick with no real goal of completion. He’s just touching it because it’s there.
“Johnny?” Ezra says.
“Yeah, Little Dick?”
“Tomorrow,” he says, sounding all tuckered out.
He closes his eyes and yawns, his mouth opening so wide I can see every tooth in his skull.
When he’s done, he blinks and smiles up at me.
“Tomorrow, I’m going to tell you something.
” He guides Bubba’s hand away from his cock and places it over his heart.
“I’m gonna tell you both something that’ll knock your socks off. ”
My jaw trembles, because holy shit. I might not be the smartest man in the world, but from the tone in his voice, I think I might know what he wants to say, but he can’t mean it, can he? Maybe about Bubba, but not me. “You are?”
“Yeah.”
Bubba kisses the back of Ezra’s head, but his eyes are locked on me. “We might say it back.” As he cradles Ezra close, he holds an arm out for me, urging me closer. I scoot forward, closing the few inches still separating me from them, and I wrap my arms around them both.