Chapter 26 #4
“I’ve heard a lot about you. Well, I’ve heard a lot about you as a spirit guide.” He stares at Ezra, his expression a picture of strength. “He doesn’t talk about his momma too often, because it hurts his heart.” Ezra sniffles and nods.
“Ms. Barbara,” I say. “I’m Bubba, but I guess you already know that.”
Barbara smiles and nods. “I know a lot about you. I know a lot about you, too, Johnny. It’s why I’ve held on for so long.
I saw the way you both are with him. You’re going to take care of him.
You’ll make him happy.” She wraps her arms around Ezra, and to my surprise, she doesn’t pass through him like a ghost. There’s a connection.
Ezra lets out the loudest, ugliest sob I’ve ever heard, and now he’s weeping into her neck as Johnny strokes his back.
“This is your happily ever after. I may not be a part of it, but I’m always going to be right here.
” She slides her hand between them and holds it to his heart.
“Keep me here, okay? Keep me right here in your heart.” She cups both his cheeks, pouring all her love into the look she’s giving him.
“I have loved every second of every single day I’ve known you.
Since the moment I saw you. Nothing can ever change that.
Time, distance, here or in the afterlife, I’m your mother.
I love you, baby, and I’m so, so very proud of the man you’ve become. ”
Ezzy stares up at me with big, sad eyes like he thinks I can somehow fix this. I don’t know how, though. I don’t have a way to make a deal with God to get his Momma a few more years on Earth.
Barbara’s light dims, and her eyes drift closer and closer together. He lets out a quiet gasp. “I think it’s happening.”
Ezra wails like a baby as he falls to his feet and wraps himself around her leg like he can somehow stop her from leaving by weighing her down like an anchor. “I only just figured out who you are, though. We didn’t get enough time. We were supposed to have more time.”
She stares down at her baby boy with sad, sleepy eyes.
“Everyone always wants more time, but sometimes there just isn’t any more to give.
” She sinks to the knee Ezra isn’t wrapped around and stares him right in the eyes.
“I need you to be my big, brave boy. Can you do that for me, baby? Can you be strong enough to let me go? I need to know you’re okay. ”
I sink down beside him, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him, his back against my chest. “He’s going to be safe,” I promise her. “He’s going to be loved. You have my word.” I kiss the back of Ezra’s neck. “I have you, and I promise, I’ll never let go.”
“You ain’t never going to be alone again, Little Dick.
You ain’t never going to have to worry about anything.
I’m going to take care of you, same as Bubba.
” Johnny kneels next to us and kisses the side of Ezra’s face before looking up at Barbara.
“I won’t have the chance to ask this again, and I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but I’d like to ask you for his hand, ma’am.
” He looks over at me and smiles. “It’s going to happen anyway, ain’t it? ”
A tear trickles down my cheek, and I nod. “Yeah, Johnny Boy. It’s going to happen.”
“My hand?” Ezra whines. “You can’t cut off my hand just because my mom says so.”
“Precious boy,” I soothe. “We ain’t talking about cutting off your hand. We’re talking about putting a ring on your finger one day.”
His eyes bulge. “A wedding ring?”
I nod. “Polygamy ain’t legal in the great state of Arkansas, but I don’t really give a fuck. One of these days, Ezzy, I’m going to marry you. We both are. You’re it for me. From here on out.”
“Me too,” Johnny agrees. “We’ll be happy, Ez. I promise.”
Ezra looks up at his mother and blinks back his tears. “What do the spirits have to say on the matter?”
She fades, her glowing gold light dimming softer and softer.
“You have my blessing.” A smile quirks in the corner of her mouth.
“I’ve been leading you in this direction for months.
I’m just glad you finally got on board.” She kisses Ezra one final time.
“I love you. I’ll always love you.” She closes her eyes, and her hands are shaking. “I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be,” Ezra tells her.
“I don’t know what’s waiting for me on the other side.”
He lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her palm.
“Wherever you end up will be good, because you were the only good thing in my life for so very long.” He stares defiantly at the sky, like he's glaring at God himself.
“I'm warning you. If you don't put my momma somewhere nice, you're getting an eternity of facial balloons.
Do not test me. You put her in the good place. "
“I love you, baby. Be happy.”
“I love you, Momma,” he says, voice cracking. “Forever.”
And then, as if she was never here at all, she’s gone, and we’re the only ones in the room.
Ezra curls against my chest and cries, and I hold him through it. Johnny’s right beside me, holding onto Ezzy for dear life. I kiss his forehead, and Johnny kisses up and down his cheek. It goes on for ages, us reassuring our boy that he’s safe. That he’ll never be alone again.
When it’s done and he’s all tuckered out, he looks up at us with puffy eyes and wet cheeks. “Did you mean what you said about proposing?”
“I did,” I answer honestly. “I want that.”
“When?” he asks.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
He swallows down a lump. “I’m not ready yet, but I want to be yours forever, Daddy.” He turns his attention to Johnny. “Did you meant it too? Because I want you forever, too, Johnny.” He wipes more tears from his eyes. “Please? I want you to mean it.”
Johnny wipes a tear of his own. “I mean it, too, Little Dick.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do for work,” he admits. “My link to the spirit world is gone. My psychic sight is no longer functional. “I don’t know who I am without it. Without her.”
“We’ll help you find out together,” I promise. “Whoever you want to be—whoever you're meant to be—we'll figure it out together.”
I smile down at both of them, and I suddenly realize just how right Faulkner was.
When you take the good and take the bad, you truly have the facts of life, and these are the facts of mine: I love Johnny Boyd and Ezra Edwards with all my heart, and no matter what comes our way, we’ll make it through.
I don't need a psychic to know that much is true.