Chapter 18
Nicola.
“I was scared of you.”
You.
You.
You.
The way she said it made my stomach turn. I kept playing it on repeat in my head. Over and over, hoping it would eventually make sense.
What did that mean?
“...so we’re gonna have to tighten security around the warehouse. Luca’s boys are gonna need some support.”
‘I was scared of you.’
When I showed up at her work, she did look terrified. She actually thought I was going to hurt her.
“Nicola.”
Did she think I was a fucking psychopath?
“Nicky!”
I blinked, lifted my head. “What?”
Vincent gawked from the other side of my desk. “...I asked if we can move another crew for security.”
I heard words, I wasn't certain I processed any of them.
“Oh.”
Vincent looked over his shoulder at Michael and held his palms up. Michael pushed himself off the wall with a sigh. “Just go, Vince. I’ll call you when we’ve got something.”
Vincent put his hand on Michael’s shoulder before he could pass. “My guys are getting nervous. They’re losing work. And I’m running out of ways to tell them to relax.”
“I know.” I said.
He looked at me. “So, do I tell them we’ve got a plan?
“We’ll figure it out. Quickly.”
The capo nodded once and the office door clicked shut.
I stared at the dark grain of my desk, and chewed on the inside of my cheek.
What did I do to her?
It may have been fifteen years, but I had a good memory.
... Didn’t I?
What was I missing, here?
“Hey,” I began as Michael folded his arms. “You remember Richie Gallo?”
“Yeah. That little asshole Aubergine dated.”
My jaw tightened at that word. Dated. Just the thought of his hands on her made me want to throttle someone, rage poured into me.
“Is he still alive?” I asked tightly.
“I don’t know. You scared the shit out of him, so I doubt he’s still doing that wannabe gangster stuff.”
“Find out.”
His eyebrows climbed. “...Are you serious?”
“I need to talk to him.”
“For what?”
“I don’t need to explain myself to you, Mike,” I shot back.
“No, hang on. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I looked up. Michael pointed toward the closed office door.
“Vincent just spent fifteen minutes talking about the Ferraros. The warehouses. Missing inventory. The capos are getting nervous. And all you can think about is some kid from over ten years ago?Why?”
Because she looked me straight in the eye when she said it.
'I was scared of you.'
The sentence wouldn’t leave me alone. She never should have been afraid of me.
Michael dragged a hand over his face and sighed. “You skipped the warehouse last night.”
“I delayed,” I corrected wryly.
“You’ve got Lorenzo breathing down your neck.”
“I know.”
“You’ve got merchandise disappearing.”
“I know.”
“You’ve got union leaders threatening to walk.”
“I know.”
“So what the fuck are you doing, Nicky?”
That I didn’t know. There was legitimately no answer.
I wanted to return to the apartment. I knew she was there. She was going to do laundry and catch up on a TV show, she said. I would rather be seated right beside Aubergine at this moment, pretending that I knew how to fold linens and towels.
That was my instinct. Back to her.
My father would’ve been at that warehouse. He would’ve remembered every word Vincent had said, every number, every concern. He'd have a solution already.
He never would’ve let one person distract him from the family. Family over everything.
I scrubbed both hands over my face, then straightened up. “Start over. I’ll listen this time.”
Gio eased the Mercedes toward the curb and glanced at me in the rearview mirror.
“This the place, boss?”
“Yeah.”
I recognized Abby's blue sedan parked behind us. I could see her sitting in the driver's seat with the car still running.
“You’re heading back to the estate afterward, right?”
“No, she’ll drive me home," I said, scooting over.
Gio looked genuinely confused. “Home, to… the estate?" He repeated. "Or her apartment?”
My hand paused on the door handle, barely catching my word-slip. The answer had came out automatically.
I gave Gio a sharp look like it was somehow his fault, and then climbed out.
The evening air was warm as I crossed the parking lot. Aubergine was on her phone and didn't notice my approach.
I tapped lightly against the driver’s window.
She jumped and dropped a hand on her chest. I grinned as she rolled the window down. I could hear her car’s air conditioning humming.
"Hi."
“Can you get in here for a minute?” Her voice was softer than usual. “I want to tell you something.”
I climbed into the passenger seat and immediately frowned.
“There's absolutely no leg room in this thing. It's like I'm in a clown car."
She laughed and the sound loosened up the tight sensation in my chest.
Maybe… maybe I misunderstood what she meant this morning.
She wasn’t acting afraid. She had asked me to get in. She was smiling at me.
"I need you to listen very carefully. Okay?”
My lips pursed. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to hate this?”
“Because you probably will.”
I waved a hand. “Okay. Go on, Abs.”
“I… I saw Pierce a few days ago. We had coffee.”
Just hearing his name made my blood boil, the rage returned tenfold. “Your ex-husband? Why?”
“He messaged me and said he was having a hard time. I… I know he isn’t my responsibility. But he’s been clean for months. And he was doing better. I think he just needs a little more time.”
My hand lifted to stop her. “Hold on. Hold… on. You want the alimony payments to continue?”
She nodded slowly. “Just for a little while. Until I know he’s not going to kill himself or something.”
I laughed without humor. "Oh, yeah, let’s worry about his feelings. Let’s make sure he feels taken care of.”
“How is this any different than what you offered me, Nicola?”
My head snapped forward. “Hey–”
“I said you weren’t going to like this. But he’s my problem. And I’m going to deal with it the way I think is best.” Her eyes flicked up to me. “I don’t want you interfering this time.”
This time.
My stomach tightened. She looked serious, her eyes were fixed on me.
They were a beautiful shade, I could never tell if they were gray or green. I had been meaning to see what it said on her driver's license.
While I was at it, my gaze moved down her body. She’d curled her brown hair and wore a flowy white summer dress. I wanted to compliment her, but this was probably the wrong time for that.
Focus.
“You trust me, right?” she pressed.
“Yeah,” I said rigidly. “Of course I do.”
“Thank you.” She leaned across the center console and kissed me quickly, before I had time to react.
“Come on. Dad’s waiting.”
Aubergine.
Nicola carried three bags of Chinese food up the stairwell, complaining the entire way about New York’s complete lack of elevators.
To be honest, I hadn’t expected him to actually show. I assumed “something” would come up and he’d give his regrets. I didn’t even tell Dad that Nicola was coming.
I unlocked the apartment door and pushed it open. “Hi, Dad!”
“Abby!” he called from somewhere down the hallway and rounded the corner. “You’ll never believe the size of the cyst I have on my a—” He froze.
Nicola gave him a small wave. “Hello.”
“Nicky!” Dad’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What are you doing here?”
“I was invited.” No he wasn’t. “I hope that’s alright.”
“Are you kidding? You’re like family.” Nicola bent down and they touched cheeks on both sides.
Dad pat Nicola’s shoulder as he looked at me. “Oh my God, my kid has no manners. She made you carry the food up?”
"Dad.”
“What? He’s the King of Manhattan. You have to show respect, Abby.”
Nicola smiled warmly at me. “You know… she has been giving me a lot of attitude lately, now that you mention it.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes.
Nicola gestured. “See?”
“Come in, come in,” Dad urged. “If I’d known you were coming I’d have cleaned up. Usually it’s just me and Abby.”
He was tired from the chemo. Neither of us blamed him for that.
“I’ll take care of it,” I said quickly. “Dad, why don’t you sit down with Nicky? I’ll plate the food. You two can catch up.”
“You sounded just like your mother.” He looked toward Nicola. “Didn’t she?”
Nicola’s eyes met mine. His smile softened. “Yeah.”
My chest squeezed and I shooed them toward the living room before letting out a long breath.
Two minutes. We’d been here two minutes and I was already close to having a panic attack.
I gathered up yesterday’s newspaper, Dad’s pill organizers, leftover containers, unopened mail. Voices drifted in from the living room. Dad cracked a joke, and their laughed echoed through the apartment.
My heart warmed.
“God, it's really nice of you to come by and see me,” I heard Dad say. “I know you’re busy.”
“I make room for the important things.”
My hands stopped. The paper carton hovered halfway to the table.
Then they started talking again.
I started scooping beef and broccoli out of the carton with a stupid, wide grin on my face.
"Mangiamo,” Dad announced proudly as we sat down. “Did I say that right? My wife was a terrible teacher. Half the time, she’d make words up just to screw with me.”
Nicola gave him a quiet round of applause. “No, you were perfect. Accent and everything.”
Dad beamed. “You ever been back to Italy at all? See where your family’s from?”
“Never found the time.” Nicola shrugged. “If somebody invents a way to split me into two people, maybe I’ll finally take a vacation.”
Dad laughed. “I know the feeling.”
“Can you pass the soy sauce?” I asked.
Dad reached for it. So did Nicola. He beat him by half a second and set the bottle beside my plate.
“Thanks.”
His eyes lingered on me for an extra split second before he nodded and focused on his plate.
Dad chewed thoughtfully. Then pointed his fork between us.
“So...”
Oh, shit. My stomach dropped. Really? The soy sauce gave it away?!
“You two are… together?”
“No,” I blurted.
“Well...” Nicola spoke at the exact same time.
We both looked at each other. His mouth remained slightly open. I cleared my throat.
“We’re just… good friends.” The words made me feel dirty and cheap. I knew it was more than that. In my bones, I knew it.
But Nicola didn’t correct me.
Dad looked from me, to Nicola, then back again.
“Huh. So that’s what kids are calling it now.”
Heat flushed my cheeks. “Dad.”
“What?” He looked genuinely confused. “You couldn’t stop talking about him from 2007 to 2011.”
"Dad,” I hissed. “Can we not?”
Nicola slowly turned toward me, solemn. “No, I think I’m going to need to hear this. In excruciating detail, preferably.”
Dad burst into laughter, Nicola’s phone began to vibrate.
The smile disappeared from his face almost instantly. He set down his napkin.
Nicola scooted back and rose form his seat. “I need to take this.”
He stepped into the hallway. The second I heard his voice echo, far away, I shot a dirty glare at Dad.
“What are you doing?”
He blinked. “What?”
“Are you trying to humiliate me?”
“Aw, come on, Abby. You’re just 'good friends' teasing each other.” He gave me a shit eating grin. “Right?”
I rubbed both hands over my face. “Oh, my God. Just drop it, please. I beg you.”
Dad chuckled and held his palms up. “Alright, alright. I’ll behave.”
A minute later Nicola returned. “I’ve got to go.”
Dad immediately started to stand and Nicola shook his head.
“No, no. Please, sit. Thank you for dinner.”
“It was good seeing you.” Dad said earnestly. “Come back anytime.”
They shook hands.
Nicola looked at me for a fraction of a second and I took that as a cue.
“I’ll walk you out," I announced.
Nicola’s hand settled lightly against the small of my back as we walked into the foyer. It dropped only a moment later.
“I’m sorry about Dad,” I whispered.
“Don’t be.” He shrugged into his jacket that he had draped over the back of a recliner. “He looks good.”
“So...” I looked up at him. “I’ll see you back at the apartment later?”
Nicola didn’t look up as he buttoned his jacket closed, then smoothed the fabric. “I don’t think I’ll have time tonight.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Nicola moved to the door. He opened it, then paused and slowly turned.
He reached for my hand, gave it a gentle squeeze.
The door clicked shut behind him.
I stood there, waiting. My lips tingled and I rubbed them together.
…
He always kissed me before he left.
I waited an extra beat, fully convinced he was going to come back through the door. He didn't.
I looked down at my upturned palm.
"He gave me a handshake?" I whispered.
“You still alive out there, Abs?” Dad called from the dining room.
I blinked out of my daze.
“Yeah.” My voice sounded strangely small. “I’m coming.”