Chapter 13 Holly
Holly
I’m not sure how much sleep I got last night.
At one point I don’t know if I was asleep or awake.
Roman and Wolf seem to set each other off but I don’t have the heart to separate them.
When one wakes, nine times out of ten, the other wakes too.
Wolf has no parents, and he’ll know I’m not his mom.
Him being close to Roman is the closest I can think of that will give him constant comfort.
It doesn’t seem to help today. He’s been fed and his diaper is clean and dry. He doesn’t have a temperature, he’s not sick.
Harper is holding a sleeping Roman while I struggle to settle Wolf.
He's been crying since sunrise and nothing I’ve done has managed to settle him.
I wonder if he’s missing his dad. He would have known his smell and recognised the feel of him and the sound of his voice.
Now he’s with strangers, he must feel it.
And what about his mom? Surely if she knew about Shane, she’d come back for her son.
“Are you okay with Roman if I pop over to Shane’s house real quick?”
“Sure.”
Wolf’s cries settle as I step out of the house, and I soak in the silence.
Shane's front door is unlocked, and I let myself in. Wolf’s cries start up again and I block it out as I move around the house, opening drawers and cupboards looking for anything that will help me find Annie.
She left so quickly, she couldn’t have packed all of her stuff.
A number of items have been dumped on the kitchen table, and I find a phone.
Turning it on, I scroll through the contacts and come across, Uncle Cain.
This has to be Annie’s cell. Sliding it into my back pocket, I wander around while I’m here and make a note to have Leo come over and pick up more of Wolf’s things.
There is no cot or clothes for him as he grows older.
There aren’t even any photos of him. I remind myself that they wouldn’t have had time to get any printed.
Shane spent most of his time at the hospital and was killed on Wolf’s first night home.
I backtrack around the house and find Shane’s phone with his keys and a bloodied pack of cigarettes on the living room coffee table.
This must be what was in his pockets when he died.
I take his phone and slide it into my other back pocket.
Loaded with what I came here for, I close up behind me.
Back at the house, Harper lays Roman in his bassinet and takes Wolf from me. I step outside and close the door to shut in his cries.
Leo mentioned something about an uncle showing up and paying off Shane, I'm hoping it’s this Cain in her contacts.
It rings and I prepare to leave a message when a deep voice answers sharply.
“Yes?”
Taken back by his abruptness, I manage to say, “Hi, I'm Holly Jackson. I'm a friend of Shane, the father of your niece’s son.”
It takes a hot minute but I eventually hear, “Yes?”
“I was hoping you could put me in touch with Annie. I really must speak with her.”
Curtly, he tells me, “That isn’t going to happen.”
“It’s important that I talk to her.”
“Shane and I had an arrangement...”
“Shane died. It's why I'm trying to get in contact with Annie. If you could please give me her number, I can leave you in peace.”
“Like I said, that isn’t going to happen.”
“Her son needs her. Shane isn’t here anymore, and he needs...”
“Annie doesn’t have a son.”
His coldness could knock me over, this is a child we’re talking about. I push on, “What should I do with him then?”
“It’s not my concern. Call CPS and hand him over to the authorities.”
I gasp. The man has no heart. Who in their right mind could be so cold and distant from their own blood.
“Is there no reasoning with you? If I hand him over to CPS, he’ll grow up alone.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, he’s a baby, they are snapped up fast.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. People look down on my husband because of his lifestyle, but this man, he’s the one who should be looked down on.
Without thinking it through, I blurt out, “What if my husband and I take him in? We're good people, he would be safe and well looked after with us. We have two children he’ll grow up with.”
“Like I said, do whatever. We’ll make it official as soon as possible.”
He hangs up and I'm left breathless by the interaction. Wolf is his great nephew, and he spoke like he was a toy no one wanted to play with.
Official. It suddenly dawns on me what it means. He wants us to adopt Wolf. I suppose it’s what I offered, and it would make it easier legally in the future.
The back door opens, and I prepare to turn and tell Leo the latest developments when Cas and JJ step outside.
“I think I just made a life changing decision, I need to tell Leo,” I say.
“He’s why we’re here. He's been taken by Hopper,” Cas tells me bluntly.
My brows knit together, and my mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out. This is the last thing I need to hear, but then I realise I’m calm and I know why.
“Don’t worry, Holly, we’re gonna get him back,” JJ assures me.
“I know you will, or he’ll get himself free.”
And then he’ll come home, and I can tell him how we have another child to raise.
“Do you understand what we’re telling you? Hopper has Leo, he’s our enemy,” Cas tells me.
“I’m well aware who Hopper is, and I'm well aware who my husband is, and out of the two, I put my money on Leo. He's got the club, me, and the kids, he hasn’t got time to get himself killed.”
“Holly…”
I cut JJ off and say, “I’m fine. I’ll hold it down here.” They both stare at me like I’m speaking a language they don’t understand.
Wolf's cries grow louder from inside and Cas and JJ continue to stare at me.
I sigh. “Leo and I have a deal. I trust him and trust that he’ll come home as soon as he can.
If you guys can help him, do so, but right now, I've got to settle a newborn with a dead dad and a mom who couldn’t give a shit about him.
Unless you want to deal with Wolf, and I’ll go track my husband down? ”
They both shake their heads and Cas steps to the side when I move.
“I think she’s been hanging around Lana too much,” JJ mutters.
I don’t catch Cas’s reply as the door closes behind me.
“This boy has got a huge set of lungs on him,” Harper points out as I take him from her. “What did my dad and JJ want?”
I look out of the window and the two of them leave by the back gate. I don’t know how much more bad news Harper can take but it’s not like she won’t hear about it, especially staying here with me.
“Hopper’s taken Leo, that’s why he didn’t come home last night.”
She drops down onto the couch and her hangs her head in her trembling hands.
“Do they know for sure?”
“I don’t reckon they would have told me if they weren’t.”
“Fuck! Do they have a plan?”
I shrug as Wolf’s cries fade to soft sobs. Finally, some peace.
“They didn’t tell you?”
“I didn’t ask.”
She stands, her mouth dropping open. “You didn’t ask?”
“Harper, calm down. You know your brother, he can handle himself.”
“Yeah, when he’s here with us. If Hopper has him, it’s fifty-fifty he makes it home, Holly. You do understand that?”
“Of course I do, but I know my husband, he wouldn’t leave me.”
Her sigh is a little dramatic, even for Harper. “He wouldn’t have a choice!” she yells and then winces as Wolf murmurs. “Holly, your lack of evident worry is concerning. I have trust in my brother, but look what happened to Slade.”
“This isn’t the same.”
“I’ve seen my fair share of people being taken, shit, I’ve been taken by the enemy myself.”
“I know, and here you stand today. Nothing you can say will change my mind. Leo isn’t going anywhere.” I sigh. “In the mean time, while this little one is finally asleep, I’m going to get ahead on making up their bottles.”
Lying Wolf next to Roman in his bassinet, I gently place his blanket over him and look down at them both and smile.
The brothers are always talking about the future, and somehow this feels right.
I don’t know how I’ll feel in the future, but as it stands, I don’t want to get pregnant again.
Roman can find his brother in Wolf. They will be the future, they will be Leo’s sons and if they should choose to follow in his footsteps, they will be his legacy within the club, and I have no doubt he will be around to see it play out at my side because Leo will come home, and I'll have the home we created ready waiting for him.
The kids are bathed, fed, and sleeping. Harper hasn’t moved from the couch in over an hour.
She stares at the TV, though it isn’t switched on.
She's grieving and now worrying about Leo. I’m worried about how much more she can take but I’m keeping a close eye on her while JJ isn’t around.
Alannah and Bonnie stop by to check in on her but they’re not around all the time.
Pouring myself a mug of coffee, I sit at the table.
I can’t remember the last time I got through an entire mug before it went cold.
I power up the laptop. Now it looks like we’re taking full responsibility for Wolf, we’re going to need everything he needs so he can feel at home.
Raising him and Roman as brothers, he’ll also be Rayna’s little brother.
I'm a mom to Rayna though no blood binds us together. The club is always talking about brotherhood; to me, bringing up Wolf is what their brotherhood is about. A brother has gone down and we pick up where he can no longer do it himself. I’ll make sure we raise Wolf into a strong man and I’ll do it for Shane.
Wondering what Leo is going to make of all this, it hits me he might not make it home to ever find out.
No, I won’t let the doubt creep in and muddle what I know to be true.
I know my husband, things haven’t gone his way lately, but he is a lucky guy, and he’s going to walk through our door, smile that smile of his, and most likely tell me he’s hungry.
Then I'll tell him about the new addition to our family.
“What are you going to do if he doesn’t come home?” Harper murmurs.
Closing my eyes, I pray for a boost of energy to repeat myself. I understand we handle things differently, but it’s like her memory is a thick fog and nothing I say is sticking around.
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“He would have made sure he left you and the kids covered. No one would expect you to move out, Dad would never let his grandkids move away. Imagine if in time you got together with another brother, no, you wouldn’t do that, but then you never know what’s gonna happen down the line, do you?”
Leaving the rest of my coffee, I push up from the chair and join her on the couch.
Taking her hands in my gloved ones, I squeeze hard enough to get her attention.
“You’re rambling, and thinking of things that are never going to happen. Why don’t you head up to bed and try to get some sleep. I’m going to stay down here with the boys tonight so you can all sleep through without them waking the house up.”
“But if he doesn’t come home, everything changes and it’s going to be bad. Nothing good will come from his death.”
Anger bites at me but I keep it locked in for Harper’s benefit. She’s not thinking straight so I take a deep breath and repeat, “Go up to bed, get some sleep, and we’ll hopefully hear something by morning.”
She thinks about it and then nods. “Do you think JJ will come back tonight?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart.”
The longer he’s out, the sooner my husband will be found. I hope I don’t see him until Leo walks through the door.