Chapter 19 Zach
Zach
My phone vibrates across the kitchen table, and an unknown number fills the screen.
Flicking my gaze up at the wall clock, it’s after one in the morning.
I grind the weed and sprinkle it into the rolling paper.
Nina and Sebastian are fast asleep and I would be envious if the middle of the night hadn’t become my new favorite time of the day.
Though Mom shuffles in and turns the main light on disturbing my peace, disturbing the quiet.
She jumps when she sees me and then lets out a small chuckle before her sadness returns.
It reminds me of when I was a teenager and she would catch me in the night, either smoking out of a window or creeping back in hours after curfew.
I always thought Dad would have been the one up, waiting to kick my ass, but it was always Mom.
“Do you have to roll that stuff at my table?” she mutters.
I don’t bother giving her an answer, none would be acceptable so why bother wasting my breath.
She takes out the half-finished bottle of wine from the fridge and reaches for a glass from the cupboard.
She sits across from me and pours herself a large glass.
She takes a large gulp and then another.
She refills the glass and leans back in her chair.
“I’ve never asked why you smoke that stuff.”
I shrug. “I like how it makes me feel.”
“And how’s that?”
I look up and tell her honestly, “Like I don’t give a fuck about anything.”
She holds my gaze and the next words out of her mouth shock the shit out of me. “Make me one.”
Laughing, I tell her, “Stick to your wine.”
“I’m serious, Zachery. Make me one, wine isn’t cutting it.”
“Mom, I'm not gonna give you drugs.”
“I remember when I first found your stash when I was cleaning your room back when you were in school. I thought you’d end up being a junkie, I was wrong about that, wasn’t I.”
I laugh but not for long. “I am okay, Mom. It's no different to you drinking your wine, mine just doesn’t leave me with a headache the next morning.”
“I’ve had plenty of them. Your dad would make my coffee extra strong before I went to work.”
The fondness of her memory doesn’t last long before she frowns. “Please, I want to try. It has to be better than how I’m feeling now.”
Sighing, I say, “What if you turn into a junkie? You think I want that on my conscience.” I'm only half teasing as she gulps down her wine.
“Hardly likely, son. Do as I ask and roll me one. I'd like to get some sleep tonight.”
I shrug. “Fine, it’s up to you.”
It doesn’t take long to prepare the first joint of her life, and she joins me on the back step.
“Have you ever even smoked a cigarette?” I ask.
“Once, when I was with Billy... your biological father.” I know who he is. “I was on my way to being wasted and thought why not. I hated it and never done it again.”
I pass over the joint and say, “Last chance.”
She puts the joint to her lips, and I spark the lighter. The coughing fit that follows makes me laugh. It’s a rite of passage to hack your lungs up after your first puff.
“If you didn’t like it then, I’ll doubt you’ll like it now.”
“I doubt I'll like anything ever again,” she murmurs.
She takes small hits from the joint, and the coughing disappears. I light my own and inhale deeply, seeking the rush that follows after a strong one.
“Dad wouldn’t approve,” I murmur.
“He shouldn’t have gone and died on me then.” She takes another toke and her shoulders begin to relax. “There’s a notebook in your dad’s safe. He had a couple of hidden accounts he said you’d be able to find, the details are in order.”
“I don’t give a fuck about money.”
“One is for any children you have, the other is for Rayna. What's in the bank accounts are mine, the house is mine, and when I go, that all goes to you.”
“Mom, I don’t want to hear it.”
“If I say it now, it’s said, and you know. We don’t have to bring it up again.”
Thank fuck for that. She sways though she’s sat down and wedged between me and the doorframe. For the first time in weeks, I smile.
“When we first came to this town, I never imagined this would be our lives. I don’t know what it would have been like if Billy were still alive, maybe he would have let us down so many times I wouldn’t have had another child and lost her, I wouldn’t have fallen in love and go on to know what pain can truly feel like. ”
I place my arm around her, and she leans her head on my shoulder. “I’m leaving, Zachery. I'm going to sell the house, and the shop. I want you and Nina, and Sebastian to come with me.”
I knew this was coming at some point, she’s been making enough flippant comments for days.
“Mom,” I drawl.
“Don’t answer yet. I want you to seriously think about it.
I've buried my daughter, and now my husband. Your aunt, for all her troubles, killed herself because of the club life. You're all I have left and I pray you never have to bury your son, especially because of the club. If you stay, Seb will one day wear the patch and you’ll find out what fear and anxiety feels like, wondering if your son will still be alive when you lay your head down every single night.”
“Out of respect, I’ll think about it.” I won’t but I can’t face another argument, going around in circles. “If Neen has her way, Seb will be off to college and then out in the world.”
“I used to think that about you, and now it takes a bottle of wine and a sleeping pill just to get to sleep every night.”
I don’t like hearing this, but she must know I'm more than capable of handling myself. I’ve proved it enough times.
“What about Gunner and Rayna? Where do they fit into your escape?”
“If I could take them with me, I would so fast, but Leo would hunt me down and the Jackson’s would never let Gunner leave town.” She sighs. “I’ll still keep in contact with them.”
I gaze out into the back yard and try to picture a life away from Willow’s Peak. I weren’t born here but this town is all I know and remember. My phone goes off again, but I don’t move to answer.
“Where will you go?”
Her eyes lazily roll around her sockets, and I smile. She's handling it better than I thought she would.
She shrugs. “But wherever I do end up, I'm going to need you to teach me how to make these things,” she laughs holding up the last of her joint.
“I don’t know how I feel about my mother having to find her own dealer.” I snort.
“I won’t have to if you come with me.”
I keep my mouth shut and continue gazing as my phone goes off again.
“It will be the club,” she murmurs. “We both know it and we both know if you stay, this will be the rest of your life. Please don’t make me have to bury my entire family, and what about Nina, you want her going through what I am now?”
She’s rambling and I let her get it off her chest. “Could you imagine having to console her if your boy was killed and you have to stand at his graveside, watching him be buried underneath dirt and then live watching grass grow above him.”
“Mom, stop.”
She’s living her memories, but I can’t begin to imagine going through what she has, not with Sebastian.
“It will happen, mark my words, I would never lie to you. Never have, never will.”
She's forgetting about the time she didn’t tell me Slade wasn’t my real father, but I don’t bother bringing it up.
My phone goes off yet again and I pull myself up to answer it, anything to get away from this conversation.
I expect Cas or JJ’s name, even one of the twins. I frown seeing Alannah’s. All other thoughts leave and I answer, pressing the phone to my ear.
“Zach?”
“Yeah, I’m here. What's up?”
“I need you at the club.” Then she hangs up.
Alannah has never made a call needing me. I hit up my contacts and hit JJ’s number. No answer. I try Mason’s, then Myles, and they don’t answer either. I reach out to Cas and again, nothing.
For Alannah to call me and no one else is answering, shit is bad. I run up the stairs and wake Nina.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve gotta go. I need you to sit with my mom until she goes to bed.”
“Why?”
“She’s stoned, for the first time ever, and I don’t want her alone.”
I help her out of bed and as she follows me downstairs, we find Mom waiting by the front door.
“Don’t go, Zach.”
“Mom, I have to.”
“No, you don’t. If you go tonight, you’ll never leave.”
I keep my mouth shut, she knows she won’t win this, it’s evident when she sighs with such sadness, I can feel it. She steps to the side, and I run out to my bike. I don’t know if it would have helped if Alannah had given me any details of what has happened so I could prepare, or not.
The ride to the club is clear and quiet under the stars. There is only the prospect around, sat at the gate with a small arsenal of guns at his side.
“Who else is here?” I ask once I kill my engine.
“No one. JJ, Mason, and Myles left the night before Cas and Sparky.”
“You’re the only one they left here?”
He nods. “Cas said that if I let anything happen to the women and kids, he kill me a hundred times over so I'm kinda glad you’re here.”
I give him my number and instruct, “Anyone shows up, call me.”
I jog toward the houses, to track down Alannah, when he yells out, “They’re all in the bar.”
I change direction and find the bar door locked. I bang against the tatty painted door and try to recall the last time this door was locked.
“Who is it?” Alannah yells.
“It’s Zach.”
The door is unlocked and swings open. The old ladies and kids have set up temporary beds and most of the kids are asleep.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“We were hoping you could tell us. We haven’t heard from anyone in two days, and the last time Cas called, he was saying goodbye.”
Rayna wakes and rushes over, clinging to me. I stroke her hair as I keep my eye on Alannah.
“Two days? Why did they leave?”
“Hopper called and arranged a meet. JJ and the twins went behind Cas’s back and left, Cas and Sparky left the next day. None of them are answering their phones.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “I need you to do your computer magic and find them.”
I nod and look down at my niece. Peeling her away from me, I kneel down and tap her nose, making her smile.
“It’ll be okay, Ray. I promise.”
Though it’s promise I'm not sure I’ll be able to keep.