20. Alex
20
Alex
"Of course, I'm still here." Alex rose from the sofa and followed her, keeping his voice low to avoid waking Lena. "Where else would I be?"
Melissa rolled her eyes. "Well, now I'm here, too, so you can go."
Alex's heart was thumping so hard in his chest, he wondered if she could see it. He'd just had a terrible thought. Had she tried to goad him into leaving Lena alone so that she could somehow use it against him? Use it as an excuse for taking his daughter away from him next week? Surely, she would know that he wouldn't have done anything so horrific.
Then again, it sounded like Melissa did leave the child to fend for herself on a regular basis.
"I'm not playing games, Melissa. I've got questions, and I want some answers."
"Well, I've got a big, soft bed waiting for me, so unless you want to join me there," she said with a suggestive sidelong look, "your questions will have to wait for another time."
Alex smacked his palm flat against the polished dining table top, the sound much louder than he'd intended. It stung, too, but the pain grounded him. "You need to listen to me." He took a step toward her, and when she finally looked over at him, something in his face must have registered, because she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin in a show of defiance. But he saw the glint of worry in her eyes, even as she tried to hide it.
He needed to back off a little. He didn't want her afraid. He wanted to reason with her, to communicate and collaborate, to come up with a plan that would be mutually beneficial to all three of them, and if she was afraid and defensive, he'd get nowhere.
He wasn't sure they'd get anywhere tonight, anyway, seeing how she swayed on her feet. She reached out to steady herself with a hand on the edge of the counter.
But Alex suddenly found that he wasn't feeling very reasonable right now, either. This woman would have been just fine to leave Lena alone until someone— anyone —happened to come home. His stomach clenched at the thought of the child waking up from a bad dream or even just to use the bathroom, to discover that she was completely alone in this mausoleum of home. Or worse, if the wrong person managed to get—
He shook his head hard to rattle loose that train of thought. He couldn't let him mind go there.
"Is this what you do?" he asked. "When the nanny is gone and you can't find a sitter? Do you just put Lena to bed and leave her alone, asleep, while you go out and get…" He gestured a hand up and down at her. "Plastered?"
Melissa glared at him. "Don't be so dramatic. I'm not plastered, and Lena's perfectly capable—"
"She's eight years old!" He struggled to keep his voice down. "Eight, Melissa. She shouldn't be left alone for any reason, awake or asleep."
Melissa let out a scoffing hiss. "Look at you, suddenly Father of the Year." She clung to the edge of the counter as she kicked off her heels, leaving them in the middle of the floor. "Where was all this concern when she was born?"
"I didn't know about her so that I could be concerned about her," Alex said through gritted teeth. "Because you withheld that important bit of information from me."
"Like it would have made any difference." She opened the cupboard to take a glass out and filled it with water from the fridge dispenser. "You weren't exactly daddy material."
The accusation stung, partly because it contained more than a grain of truth. Eight years ago, he hadn't been fit for fatherhood. He hadn't been fit for adulthood. He'd been living like an overgrown child. Like Peter Pan , he thought wryly.
But that didn't excuse Melissa for not telling him. He'd been desperate for something to live for back then, which was why he'd been so reckless and out of control. Maybe if she'd involved him back then, he would have changed the direction of his life long before he did. Nor did it excuse her from keeping Lena from him for six years, then using her as leverage the way she was now.
"Unfortunately, we can't undo what you did." His voice was almost a snarl. "But this isn't about the past. This is about right now. About you neglecting our daughter while you lure in your next victim." His words were ugly, but it had required a lot of self-control to not spit out what he really wanted to say. The vile things he wanted to call her.
Melissa's eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare judge me. Being a single parent isn't easy, and I've provided Lena with everything she could possibly need."
"Except a parent who spends time with her," Alex shot back.
"I spend time with her!" Melissa retorted, her voice rising, making him think of a child with cookie crumbs all over her face vehemently denying she'd been in the cookie jar.
Ignoring her, he continued. "Except a sense of security. Of safety. Did you know she told me your new boyfriend looks at her 'weird'? That you made her wear makeup to 'impress' him?" He spoke the last question slowly, emphasizing each word.
"Daniel is a successful businessman." Melissa crossed her arms before raking her eyes up and down Alex, taking in his casual attire. "Unlike some, he has standards."
"For an eight-year-old girl?" Alex couldn't keep the disgust from his voice. "And now you're planning to move in with him? How long have you known him, exactly? Weren't you just living in Paris with Charles?"
"My personal life is none of your business," Melissa snapped.
"It is when it affects our daughter. She says you're leaving next week. Were you planning to tell me, or would you have just disappeared again?"
"Don't be so dramatic. I was going to tell you."
"Oh, right. Like you told me when she was born." The bitterness he'd suppressed for years boiled to the surface. He took another step closer, leaned forward slightly, and pointed at her. "You robbed me of six years with my daughter, Melissa, and I'm not going to let that happen anymore."
To his surprise, she slapped his hand away, hard, and called him a vile name. "Get your finger out of my face. You know the arrangement," Melissa said coldly. "You agree to my terms, or you don't get to see her."
"I should have challenged those terms a long time ago, Melissa, and I'm sorry I didn't," Alex admitted, facing his own culpability. "But do you know what I've been researching tonight while you were out till the wee hours, ignoring the fact that you had a child? The parental rights of a father. A simple paternity test is all I need to get the ball rolling."
Melissa let out an ugly sound. "You might want a good attorney, too," she spat out, then added crassly, "Your reputation on this side of the lake doesn't bode well for you, pool boy."
The cruel words hit home. He couldn't undo the things he'd done, either, and now his past was catching up to him.
What a mess he'd made of his life, and the lives of those his messy life had messed with.
But then, that was why he was standing here right now, facing down this woman who had manipulated him into thinking he had no rights of his own as Lena's father, that he was lucky to have what little Melissa doled out to him.
Because he was finished making a mess of things.
He was here to clean up after himself. He was here to set things right. To change the things he could and to let go of the things he couldn't. Whatever's going on, whatever it is that's harder now—you don't have to face it alone.
"A good attorney won't be hard to find, and I happen to have a town of people who will vouch for the kind of man I am."
Melissa pushed her way around him and circled the table so that it was now between them. "You really think it's so easy raising a child on your own? You think I haven't had to sacrifice?"
"I have no doubt that it's one of the hardest things a parent will ever do," he shot back. He'd give her that much, although he wasn't sure she'd had to sacrifice much of anything in the process. "But I'm not on my own, Melissa. I have my parents. I have friends, a community of people who know and—and love me." It was the first time he'd ever put that into words, and he was shocked at how true it rang.
A small voice interrupted from the hallway. "You're fighting about me again, aren't you?"
They both turned to see Lena standing in the doorway to the living room, her eyes wide and anxious, her hair mussed from sleep. She clutched her ladybug tight to her chest like a shield.
Alex's heart broke at the resignation in her voice. How many arguments had she overheard between adults who were supposed to protect her?
"Everything is fine, sweetie," Melissa said, her tone instantly switching to saccharine sweetness. "Go back to bed."
"It doesn't sound fine." Lena took a few steps into the room. "It sounds like fighting."
Alex crossed the room and drew her into a hug. "I'm sorry we woke you."
Lena stayed pressed against him for only a moment before stepping back so she could look back and forth between her parents. To Melissa she said, "I don't want to move to Greece, Mom."
Melissa's voice hardened. "Enough, Lena Marie. We've talked about this. Daniel has a beautiful house, and—"
"I don't care about his house." Lena's voice was stronger now, too. "Or the island, or the pool, or any of that. I want to stay here." She glanced at Alex, then back to her mother. "I want to live with Daddy."
"That's impossible," Melissa scoffed.
"Why is it impossible?" Lena pressed. "If I lived with Daddy, you could go wherever you want. You wouldn't have to pay for Adeline. It wouldn't cost you any money if I stayed with him."
Alex held his breath, shocked by Lena's directness but unable to deny the surge of hope her words created.
"You wouldn't have to even think about what to do with me," Lena's voice trembled slightly, but she stood her ground. "Daddy wants me. I want to be with him."
Melissa's expression darkened. "Your father doesn't know the first thing about raising a child."
"He could learn!" Lena's eyes filled with tears. "I could teach him. Please, Mom. I don't like Daniel, and he doesn't like me. I can tell because he looks at me like I don't belong. Well, I belong here. I want to live here. I want Autumn Lake to be my home." Fat teardrops were streaming from her eyes now, and she stood there, trembling like a live wire. "Why can't you be my mommy and stop looking for a new boyfriend everywhere we go?"
The last words seemed to escape before Lena could stop them. Then she brought the ladybug up to cover her face.
For a moment, Melissa looked genuinely stung. Alex, desperate to comfort his daughter, but also wanting to tread carefully in this volatile moment, moved a step closer to Lena.
Melissa's eyes went cold and dark, her back stiffened, and her lip curled into an ugly snarl.
"Fine." She lurched forward, grabbed Lena's arm, and pushed her into Alex.
"Hey!" Alex caught Lena as she stumbled, steadying her against his side with an arm around her shoulders. "That was uncalled for."
"Go ahead." Melissa ground out. "Take her. Keep her for a week and see what it's like having to be responsible for someone else all the time. You'll come crawling back, you'll see. Having a child will change your life, Alex."
Then she snatched the ladybug out of Lena's arms so she could look her daughter in the face. "You want to live with him? Fine. Go live with him. See how you like living on pizza and beer."
"My ladybug!" Lena wailed, her arms reaching out for it.
Melissa poked him in the chest. "You got your wish; she's all yours. I'm going to bed." Then she shoved the ladybug into him, too, and stormed out of the room, listing slightly so that she had to run a hand along the wall to keep her balance. "Get out of my house," she called over her shoulder. "Both of you." Then she disappeared inside her room and pulled the door closed with a resounding crash.
For a moment, the air seemed to echo with Melissa's terrible words.
But then those words stopped sounding quite so terrible, at least to Alex's ears. Did he need her to put it in writing that she was letting him take Lena with him? Was he about to do something stupid by taking his daughter home with him tonight?
Alex looked down at Lena, whose expression wavered between hope and uncertainty. He wouldn't let this moment slip away. He handed her the ladybug and she squeezed it tightly, never taking her eyes off his face.
"Let's get your things, Lena-Bug," he said softly. "Whatever you need for the week."
Lena didn't hesitate. She scampered down the hall ahead of him and started pulling things from her closet. "My suitcase is under the bed," she told him. By the time he pulled it out and opened it on her bed, Lena was efficiently folding her clothes and placing them in piles like she'd done this a hundred times before.
When he realized she didn't exactly need his help, he took her hand to stop her. "I need to let your mother know that we are leaving. Are you okay to keep working in here without me?"
"I'm fine. I pack my own suitcase all the time." She nodded, her messy curls bobbing wildly.
Alex left her room, pulling the door closed behind him. He had no idea if Melissa would even talk to him, but in case she came out of her room swinging, he wanted to keep Lena out of it as much as possible.
He knocked lightly on Melissa's door. "Melissa?"
"Go away."
Alex held his breath. Was it just slurred speech? Or was Melissa crying? "Melissa, can I talk to you a minute? Lena is packing."
"No," came her response.
Feeling slightly creepy, Alex pressed his ear to her door. Sure, enough, Melissa sniffled, then breathed in shakily. She was, indeed, crying.
What should he do? It was too risky to go in her room to offer her comfort, especially since the last time he'd been in there had been for nefarious reasons. He didn't want to give her the wrong impression in any way. But he couldn't just take Lena and leave Melissa alone in there crying, could he?
He squared his shoulders and knocked again. "Can I come in?"
When she didn't answer, he tried the door and found it wasn't locked. He pushed it open a couple of feet, but didn't enter. Melissa sat on the edge of her bed, a wad of tissues in her hand, looking a little more the worse for wear with her smudged makeup and drooping shoulders.
"I told you to go away," she said, but there was very little fight left in her voice. She only glanced briefly at him, then looked down at her hands.
Alex considered his words carefully. "I'm going to go ahead and take Lena home with me tonight so you can get some sleep. I'll have my phone on me and I'll watch for your call if you want to talk in the morning." He paused, partly because he wanted to make sure she was listening to him, but also because he knew she might balk at what he had to say next.
Melissa nodded, but said nothing.
"I'm going to take her to my folks' house for lunch so they can meet their granddaughter. If—" Was he really going to ask? "If you'd like to join us, I know they'd want to meet you, too."
Melissa brought both hands up to cover her face and her shoulders shook as she sobbed quietly into her tissues.
Alex wanted to offer her some comfort, but he wasn't the right person to be her shoulder to cry on, not with her in such a vulnerable state. "You don't have to decide tonight. You don't even have to tell me at all. You can just show up if you decide at the last minute to join us. Mom always serves Sunday lunch at one o'clock sharp." He pulled out his phone and pulled up Melissa's number. "I'm sending you their address now."
Melissa's phone vibrated on the nightstand beside her. She finally lowered her hands, but she didn't look at him.
"Do you want to say goodnight to Lena before we leave?"
She shook her head. "Tell her goodnight for me, okay?"
"I will."
"And that I love her."
"Of course." When she said nothing else, he asked, "Are you going to be okay here alone, Melissa?" She wouldn't do anything to hurt herself, would she? He'd never seen her so despondent, and he didn't know her well enough to know how she managed in situations like this.
"I'll be fine. Adeline will be here in a couple of hours and she'll check on me. She always does," she said. "That girl takes care of both of us."
Alex was glad to hear it. It would be after one by the time he and Lena left, so she'd only be home alone for an hour. But he'd feel better if she didn't look so miserable. "Hey, why don't you go ahead and get ready for bed while we're here. We'll stick around for a few more minutes, if you change your mind and want to see Lena before we go."
Melissa nodded, and he started to pull the door closed, but paused when he heard her say, "Thank you, Alex."
"You're welcome."
Back in Lena's room, Alex asked her to tell him the names of each of her stuffed animals in an attempt to slow her down as she put them into a large yellow duffel. Then he paged through some of her sketchbooks with her before she slipped them into her backpack. On the cover of one book she'd written in careful block letters, 'Daddy.' It was filled with colorful images of him smiling a toothy grin, of the two of them playing, fishing, eating, and even a few with Melissa, too, although usually, she was drawn on the sidelines, sitting on a bench or on her phone. Present, but not engaged. Alex wondered if Melissa had seen the drawings.
When she was completely ready to go, Lena, of her own accord, knocked on her mother's bedroom door. She only waited a moment before opening it and walking in. "I'm going with Daddy, now, Mommy. I love you." From where he sat on Lena's bed, Alex couldn't see inside Melissa's room, but the light was still on, and he could hear her response.
"Love you, too, Lena Marie. I'll call you tomorrow sometime, okay?"
"It's okay. You don't have to," came Lena's response. "I'll be fine with Daddy."
Alex grimaced. Would that set Melissa off?
"Okay," she only said. "Be good."
"I'm always good," Lena replied with a giggle, then she appeared in the hallway again. Before pulling the door closed behind her, she called, "Goodnight, Mommy."
The role reversal scene made Alex's chest tight. His daughter was growing up with far too much responsibility on her shoulders, and he was the only one who could do anything about it.
Things were going to change. Starting now.
As they pulled away from the condo, he glanced at Lena in the rearview mirror. She looked small and a little uncertain, with her ladybug still clutched to her chest.
"You okay, Lena-bug?"
She nodded, then asked in a small voice, "Are you okay?"
Alex pulled over to the curb so he could turn in his seat and look her in the eye. "I'm more than okay, because I'm with you."
"I didn't know Mommy would get so mad." Lena's eyes glistened as they once again filled with tears.
"Hey, now, it's going to be okay." He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "She's more upset at herself than you or me, sweetie. We all just need a good night's sleep, okay?"
Lena nodded and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "You don't mind if I come stay with you? I didn't ask you if it was okay first."
"Not at all," he declared, not needing to fake his enthusiasm. "My apartment isn't fancy like your mom's place. It's small, and I haven't had much time to clean up lately because of my ankle. But we'll make it work, okay?"
A genuine smile spread across Lena's face. "Okay."
As they drove around the lake toward town, Alex's mind homed in on Juno, the way it always did. Even though it had been so late, he couldn't help the disappointment that she hadn't responded to his text. He prayed it was because she was sound asleep, and not because she was choosing to leave him hanging.
He'd call her first thing in the morning. Surely, she would understand.
And then, he'd call his parents.
As they drove through the quiet streets of Autumn Lake, he allowed himself to feel something he hadn't fully experienced in years: hope.
"Are you tired?" he asked as they approached his apartment building.
Lena shook her head. "Not anymore. I'm too excited."
"Me too," Alex admitted. "How about this? Since it's a special night, we can have a little sleepover. Watch movies on the couch until we fall asleep. How does that sound?"
"What's a sleepover?"
The innocent question squeezed his heart. Of course she wouldn't know—when would she have had friends over for such a normal childhood experience, moving from place to place as she had?
"It's when people stay up late together, watching movies, eating snacks, and building pillow forts," he explained. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Lena nodded, her eyes round. "Can we build a pillow fort?" she asked, as if doing so ranked right up there with visiting Disneyland.
Alex chuckled. "We can do all of the above."
As they climbed the stairs to his apartment, Lena's hand in his, Alex realized that Melissa had been right about one thing: having a child in his life would change everything.
Alex welcomed that change with open arms.