Chapter 2
Fitzwilliam Darcy, or William Darcy as he was called by family and close friends, stood and stared at Miss Elizabeth Bennet in a stupor of shock, disbelief, shame, and humiliation.
If he had been surprised by her taking him to task after his ill-advised proposal, it was nothing to the way he had just been eviscerated.
She was wrong, was she not? He was not a hypocrite, was he?
His first instinct was to respond in kind, but as he let her words wash over him, he had to admit that she had correctly tied him to a promise that would require him time to allow such, he knew he could not so easily invalidate what she had said.
All of a sudden it hit him. What she had said about being wealthier than him on her own made it undeniably true.
And the clearer the truth rang in his head, the greater was the shame he felt so that it soon took hold of his whole being.
The Bennets could have touted their wealth, used their connections to silence the Bingley sisters, Lady Catherine, and himself, but they proved instead that they valued character far above wealth.
Bingley would never forgive him. He could not see how he could forgive himself.
Darcy tried to understand; how could he have been so wrong?
And in searching for the answer as he stood there before her, he heard her words again.
“…You claim to love me, but I, who was the object of your affection, could not discern any tender regard. In fact, I saw just the opposite. My belief was that you only looked upon me to find fault. If I could not discern your feelings as you keep them under good regulation, perhaps too well, then how is it that you feel you have the power to discern what others feel?” She had the right of it.
Who was he to know what someone else felt when he hardly acknowledged his own feelings, let alone often bothered to consider anyone else’s?
“Miss Bennet, I find that I have much to consider and more to ponder on. You have shaken me to my core with all that you have revealed and declared. I was given good principles by my beloved parents, but have followed them in pride and conceit. I have fallen to thinking meanly of those deemed below our family or circle before their characters are known. If you could have known my parents you would have seen that is not what they wanted of me. You could not have pointed out your side in a more poignant way to prove I have been so wrong, and to such an extent, not the least was in thinking that I was in any way able to judge your sister’s feelings, or anyone else’s for that matter. ”
“My honour dictates that when I return to town, I make a full confession to Bingley, even should this mean the end of our friendship and the possibility of Miss Bennet never accepting him.”
“I humbly apologise to you and your family and must now take my leave. You have given me a truer perspective of my character than I have ever experienced, and I have a lot to think on. The Colonel and I will be leaving as soon as I return to the house. May God bless you, Miss Bennet. Goodbye.”
Darcy bowed to Elizabeth before he turned and strode back toward Zeus. She could see that his shoulders were slumped and his head was down, not held high as she was used to seeing him.
As Mr Darcy mounted his steed, Elizabeth mused silently to herself, ‘There may be some good that comes from all of this, if he is able to really look at his behaviour and actions, then accept that there are things he too needs to change, not just that those around him have human failings. I do not know if he is able, but if he is able to, I think I would like to meet the man he would then be.’ With this and many other thoughts rolling around in her very pretty, but imminently sensible head, she turned and started her walk back to the parsonage, thanking the good Lord above that she only had a week before she was to return to Town.
She walked in a determined manner, as she had decided that she needed to send two expresses as soon as may be.
One was to her father about Wickham, and the other to her sister Jane to inform her of the truth of the matter regarding one Charles Bingley.
She did not want to take the chance that Jane would meet him before she knew all of the facts.
And she would inform both that the truth of their wealth was no longer a secret.
Darcy rode back to Rosings Park, allowing Zeus his head.
He saw his carriage at the entrance to the manor house and his cousin, Richard Fitzwilliam, waiting for him.
Unfortunately, his aunt was also awaiting his return as he was informed by Rosings Park’ butler, Mr Nigel Lipton, that she wanted to see him in her favourite drawing room before he left.
As annoyed as he was, his manners and upbringing would not allow him to refuse.
He walked into the drawing room and found her sitting on her ‘throne,’ an overly ornate and elevated chair that assured that all would have to look up to her when they were seated.
“Sit, nephew. I wish to speak to you on a matter of great importance.” She demanded.
“I thank you, Aunt Catherine, but no. I will stand as I am about to sit for more than four hours on our return to Town.” He smiled inwardly because he knew his aunt wanted him to sit so that she could ‘intimidate’ him into granting her wishes, although it never actually worked.
Unfortunately, the tactic had worked on many.
Annoyed at being defied, Lady Catherine moved on to her desired topic.
Conversation to Lady Catherine was time for her to talk and others to listen.
“I am seriously displeased, Darcy. You are leaving and you have not yet done your duty to Anne. It was your mother’s…
” she announced for all to hear though no one else was in the room.
“Enough with that tired lie of yours, Lady Catherine,” Darcy interrupted his aunt. It was high time for her crusade to end, and as he heard Miss Bennet’s words about his aunt echo in his head, he knew that he needed to stand up to her once and for all.
“How dare you speak to me in such a disrespectful way, Nephew? You should know that I will not be gainsaid!” Lady Catherine’s cheek went from the normal blush of expectation to a darker red as she grew angry.
“And you should know that Uncle Reggie has letters from both of my dear departed parents expressly refuting your claim. In fact, they say that under no other terms other than Anne being my choice without interference or manipulation from you would they countenance such a match. They both forbid me to marry your daughter for any reason other than mutual love and respect, and I am honouring their wishes, Anne’s, and mine by not doing so.
” Darcy said this with a mild smile, glad that the matter was finally coming to a head.
It was to his shame, and again to his Elizabeth’s credit, that he finally saw he was failing his cousin and himself by not ending the lies at their source.
His smile slipped when he was forced to remind himself that she was not his Elizabeth, but his heart treacherously could not return to the formality of Miss Elizabeth.
“Regardless,” she re-joined with only a slight hesitation, thinking she could brow-beat him into submission now that he had taken a stance, as cajoling had been proven ineffective, “you will do as I say. I am your nearest relation and I demand that you accept my wishes. Think of our combined fortune when you unite Rosings Park and Pemberley.”
“You are not my closest relation. Furthermore, you have no say in my life. I am my own man, as Uncle Reggie has told you more times than I care to remember. Anne does not want to marry me, nor I her. When I marry it will be someone that I love, respect, and esteem,” he stated with the finality of a man that has finally broken through a veil of miasma.
That he was parroting Elizabeth he would only realise after he was underway.
“What nonsense, nephew. What has love to do with marriage in our circles? Who are you going to marry? Some low-born, penniless chit with no connections like that harridan Elizabeth Bennet who thinks she is too good for her cousin, Collins?” Lady Catherine spat out Elizabeth’s name as if her tone would affect his view of the woman.
But it was a tactic he often used, and the realisation made him colour with shame.
“My revered parents married for love, and so will I,” he spoke evenly, as done with this conversation as he had ever been.
“My sister, Anne, and brother-in-law, George, were weak. They did not deserve control over that vast fortune! It should have been mine...” she started.
“Enough!” he used her tone back at her and she started in shock.
“You, Lady Catherine, will never have control over any aspect of my life. And you should be careful with what you say to and about the Bennets. They could ruin you without blinking an eye. The Duke and Duchess of Bedford are Miss Elizabeth’s godparents, and she is counted a niece by them and Lord and Lady Jersey.
Unless you want those peers of the realm after you, I would tread very carefully,” he said, offered this final gift in the form of a warning.
“What drivel! If she had such connections, she would not hesitate to proclaim it,” Lady Catherine scoffed.
“Not everyone is like you, Aunt. I take my leave of you.” And that is what he did, not allowing her any time to reply.
Darcy was soon in his carriage with his cousin on his way back to London.
He would have found at least a little amusement had he known that Lady Catherine was left spluttering to no one` in her uncomfortable chair.
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