Chapter 3
An astounded Richard Fitzwilliam had seen that look on the battlefields at Rolica, Bucaco and during both sieges of Badajoz.
He never expected to see it on his cousin and for him look so very defeated.
Yes, William could be taciturn and unsociable, but not this, not looking like his whole world had just come crashing down around him.
“Why do you look like the world is at an end?” Richard frowned, worried it was about Georgiana, for whom Darcy and he shared guardianship.
“It has for me, Richard. The world has indeed fallen down around me,” Darcy replied quietly.
“What do you mean, William? What can be so bad the Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley feels as if he cannot go on?” Richard tried to tease his cousin so he would have less of a scowl. It was no small feat he attempted so he did not take it hard when he did not succeed.
“I am in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” William admitted, saying it out loud to another person today was an irony he did not miss.
“What is so bad about that? Propose to her. What woman would refuse you? While intelligent and with a wit I was thoroughly impressed with, as you said, she is a country girl with no fortune or connections,” Richard grinned.
“I did, and she roundly refused me. I thought the same and could not have been more wrong!”
“I think you need to tell me all.” Richard resettled into a more comfortable position.
Though more like a brother than a cousin, it was still hard for Darcy but he shared the tale of the proposal and her adamant refusal.
When Darcy was done with the recitation of his disastrous proposal, it took Fitzwilliam a while to close his mouth, and a substantial number of moments to wrap his head around all Darcy had imparted, and collect his thoughts.
“Until right now I never thought you unintelligent, William. Your first interaction with the woman was an insult, and then there is the way you behaved in the neighbourhood. You thought either or both would endear you to her? But now it is for me to confess that I am afraid that I am why she knows about your interference with Bingley.” Richard winced.
“What do you mean?” his cousin yelled. Richard held up a hand to ward off more of William’s anger so he could offer his explanation as quickly as possible.
“The day I was walking around the park as I do each year, I met her. We talked, and somehow the way you look after people came up. Seeing your partiality, I thought that I was showing you in a good light when I spoke about how you took care of Bingley. But I remember now that she became somewhat angry, questioned your presumption, and said you were officious.”
“She was right.” Darcy sighed. “But there is a lot more to this tale and why my world came crashing down around my head. Most of the previous night I wrote a letter to defend myself and my actions, and gave it to her this morning. I intended to leave right away, but she requested that I return in three hours as her condition to read the missive. She wanted to be able to ask questions, and stated that she too should be given the right to defend herself or respond to mine with her own comments, if she felt that she needed to make any. Knowing I was all knowing and could not but be right in everything with regard to my actions, I of course wanted to hear her apology and hopefully see some regret for her refusal. I got an apology all right, though not for what I originally expected, and what is more? There were a lot of comments.” Darcy swallowed painfully as he was still reeling from some of what she had said, and likely would for a long time to come.
Darcy proceeded to tell his cousin about the contents of his letter, at which Richard was both unsurprised at but concerned with the imparting of Georgiana’s near mistake.
And then Darcy finally recited almost verbatim all she had said as she had so accurately outlined his instances of hypocrisy.
Not enough time had passed for him to forget what she had said, which was both a gift as he heard her saying the words in his head, as it was a misery while he had to so acutely face the truth.
If the colonel was stunned before, he was stupefied, amazed, and awed by the time Darcy concluded his morning’s tale.
“Dear God!” Richard looked at him in alarm.
“I had the temerity to warn her off the day that we discussed Bingley by telling her that a second son must marry with an eye to fortune. She jested saying that she felt the price for the second son of an Earl would be fifty thousand pounds, and now I discover she was laughing at me. That amount is merely pocket change for her. I saw your attraction and stupidly I thought I should warn her off in case she was attracted to me.” Richard blushed in embarrassment; a rare enough occurrence Darcy almost smiled.
At least it was not just he that had cause to feel embarrassment about his assumptions regarding Elizabeth.
“My father invests with Gardiner and Associates, and he has told me that conservatively it is estimated to be worth millions. Her five percent, her dowry, and her estate make her wealthier than you or my family, and her personal wealth makes Aunt Catherine look like a pauper.”
“Time and time again, she accused me of being a hypocrite. Was she right, Richard? Am I a proud, arrogant hypocrite?” Darcy asked honestly as he met his cousin’s eyes.
“She was absolutely accurate on the subject of your reticence to show your true feelings, and in knowing yourself you should have been the last person in the world to be convinced of what another’s feelings are,” Fitzwilliam stated.
“When you look at what she said in the way she laid it out? I am afraid that you do come off as both arrogant and a hypocrite. She has the measure of Bingley’s sisters.
How could you allow a tradesman’s daughters to hold themselves above said gentleman’s daughter, to continuously say nothing when cutting remarks were spoken about a gentleman’s daughters, regardless of fortune?
But now you know these are some of the richest women in the land, and Miss Elizabeth is the goddaughter of the Duke and Duchess of Bedford.
Father relies on the Duke’s support in the Lords.
I pray for you that if he hears about how you treated his goddaughter Miss Elizabeth that there are no repercussions to his alliance with my father.
If you thought that Miss Elizabeth was angry, that will be mild in comparison to Father’s fury if that alliance is damaged,” Richard reminded him dryly.
“What have I done?” Darcy was bent over with his head between his arms, his voice muffled.
“Before we fear the worst, we will talk to my father and see what his advice is. But I should warn you, I agree with her assessment of Bingley. No matter what you or his sisters said, it was very badly done by him to walk away if he loved her as he claimed to do. Miss Elizabeth has the right of it. I hope that her sister does not reward his poor behaviour and take him back,” Richard agreed.
“But I…” Darcy frowned.
“No, William. It is high time that the man became resolute, found some character and started to make his own decisions. I have not told you this before, but I have never respected him. He always allows others, mainly you, to direct him. That way if things do not work out, it is not his responsibility; he can hide behind the knowledge that he was only doing what someone told him to do,” Richard frowned.
“I suppose there is truth in what you and Miss Elizabeth have said about him. I have seen it as well, but I tried to ignore my internal voice that told me I needed to allow him to grow up and take charge of his life. It was nice to be needed, even if it sometimes felt like a chore. To feel like I was imparting knowledge and benevolence when in fact I was ignoring Bingley’s true needs.
” Darcy sighed, then considered his most important concern.
“What about what Miss Elizabeth said with regards to our family’s behaviour and my accepting from my family what I deem as abhorrent in others? ”
“I am afraid that there too Miss Elizabeth was spot on.
I love Georgie; and yes, that lowlife, who you did not inform me of his new profession, and Mrs Younge were manipulating her and preying on her emotions for an old family friend, but I do agree with her.
Georgie was not innocent in all of this, which I have tried to tell you at least twice and you were angry with me.
And what is more? I also agree with Miss Elizabeth in that knowledge is power.
We do not help our women when we try and protect them by denying them information.
We arrogantly do not think that they will be able to assimilate what the truth is, do we? They often see clearer than we do.
“As for Wickham, did I not tell you well before Uncle George got sick that you should have been open with him about Wickham’s propensities and behaviour?
You were trying to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with your father, not protect him.
And yes, she was correct, you should have taken action in Meryton,” Richard frowned at him for not having done so.