Chapter 5 #4
“When your sister so aptly highlighted my faults, ungentlemanly behaviour, and hypocrisy she also pointed out that no matter what I or his sisters said, the ultimate decision to abandon you was made by Mr Bingley and therefore the responsibility lay with him. Your sister said that she felt that he is a man of weak character and is irresolute. I am afraid that Miss Elizabeth had the right of it. I, who cast aspersions on your character, missed and ignored the faults that were obvious to anyone who cared to see them in my good friend, Charles Bingley. The Colonel agreed with her on this, as did all of my Fitzwilliam family. I am sad that my friend does not deserve you, not because of your connections, property, and fortune, but for the woman that you are. I now know that I was wrong in every way about you, and I humbly apologise and can only hope that you will be able to forgive me and my actions one day.” Darcy bowed as he tendered his apology to Miss Bennet.
‘If I was not sitting here and seeing the sincerity in his mien or hearing the words that are being said by him, I would not believe it. Could I have had this great of an effect on the man?’ Lizzy asked herself silently, also watching Jane in case she needed support when hearing the words so well in tune with her own when she had pointed out the other side of his actions and assumptions.
“As the ultimate responsibility for the decisions that he made rest squarely on Mr Bingley’s shoulders, I do forgive you Mr Darcy.
Completely and unreservedly. You did not intend to, but in the end, you have done me a service.
As Lizzy stated to me, if I had accepted Mr Bingley and married him, and then afterward discovered these issues with his character, I would have been most unhappy and trapped in a marriage that I would not have wanted.
I could never accept him now knowing what I do about the lack of consistency and resolution that he displayed.
No matter what you or anyone else said to him, none of you physically restrained him.
He could have, if he had really wanted to, come to me to discover the truth for himself.
I could not respect, esteem, or build a life with one that allows others to make his decisions for him.
” Jane smiled sweetly at him as she thanked him for his assistance.
To Darcy she was unwittingly twisting the knife deeper in his gut as he now got to see first-hand what kindness she embodied.
It was also good to know that in some way she appreciated his interference as she only deserved the best of men.
He could not off hand name a single man worthy of Jane Bennet.
Bingley was right about one thing. She was an angel.
‘I expected that he would be angry with me, not listen to my reproofs and take them to heart!’ Lizzy watched in confusion.
He was destroying all of her preconceived notions about the man that she had once hated; it was so unexpected that respect now took the fore, though would soon be overshadowed by surprise.
“The biggest and longest apology I must make is to you, Miss Elizabeth, but first I must thank you.” He turned to face her.
“I was given good principles and raised in a house by wonderful loving parents who set the best example about how to be a master and landlord. I was left to follow the principles in pride and conceit, and I was thus from seven until the age of seven and twenty. I believe that I learnt from my aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, to think meanly of anyone not in our family circle or what we considered below us socially. I would still be that way if it were not for you taking me to task, Miss Elizabeth. It was a great shock when first my cousin Richard and then the rest of his family told me that my behaviour was much more like that of Lady Catherine’s than my parents.
“While my beloved mother was alive, my aunt and uncle de Bourgh would spend two months at Pemberley and we would be at Rosings Park around Easter for about a month. I did not realise until recently that as much as I dislike my aunt’s machinations and treatment of people that I had, in fact, started to emulate some of her attitudes and behaviour.
Let me begin with the hypocritical way I accused your family of bad behaviour while ignoring that in my own family and friends.
Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and I had long broken every window in my glass house before I was woken up by you, Miss Elizabeth.
“The behaviour that I had the temerity to criticize in your family was nothing to that displayed at every turn and opportunity by my aunt at Rosings Park, which does not even belong to her. It is Anne’s property, but that is a story for another time and I digress.
There is no excuse for the behaviour of my aunt, given her upbringing and education.
Even though she would say that if she learnt she would be a true proficient, the truth is that there is little or nothing that my aunt is proficient in besides dispensing unwanted and very bad advice.
“Next, as painful as it will be to both my sister and me, I need to address her behaviour at Ramsgate.” As he raised the subject Georgiana Darcy started to quietly cry.
On seeing her tears, Jane and Elizabeth moved to sit on either side of her and each took a hand as Lizzy rubbed her back.
When Miss Darcy looked up at Elizabeth, she was sure she would see condemnation and was taken aback when she did not.
All she saw was acceptance and sympathy.
“I was taken in by his lies as well, and we are not the only ones,” Lizzy whispered to Georgie before her brother continued.
Aunt Maddie took in the actions and reactions of all as she sat as silently as she had since Darcy started his mea culpa to both her nieces after offering her own forgiveness.
“Georgie, Tiffany, and I talked about her behaviour at Ramsgate with George Wickham last night after I returned from the Hurst’s townhouse.
And as I had felt when you pointed out the weakness of Bingley’s character, I felt indignation and anger at what you said to me regarding Georgie’s behaviour,” Darcy admitted.
“It was not for me to judge, Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth tried to offer her apology.
“You did not judge, Miss Elizabeth, but you pointed out some specifics I had to that point done my level best to ignore. I had been wilfully blind because then I could preserve the false, morally superior position I thought that I held. After the discussion that we had last night, we now both understand our behaviours and failings better. That way, we will be able to avoid the same mistakes in the future. The Colonel and I, as Georgie’s co-guardians, should have done a much more extensive check rather than accepting Mrs Younge’s references at face value.
Both Georgie and I clearly see where she erred and having faced the truth, I believe that we have both learnt very valuable lessons.
We have both grown from this experience, and as Miss Bennet says that I did her a service, so have you done for me and my sister, a very great service.
“I have decided that from this point forward I will always tell everyone, including Georgie, the truth so that they will be prepared, rather than to substitute my own judgment for theirs. Of course, I initially tried to dismiss your intimation that I should have told Georgie about Wickham long ago as na?ve, but you, of course, were right. Forewarned is forearmed. That is a mistake I will never repeat again with my sister, a family member, a friend or my future wife.” As he said the last, he was looking directly at Elizabeth Bennet who did not want or intend to, but she blushed a bright pink.
“When you pointed out my failure to expose George Wickham as soon as I saw him in Meryton, you could not have been more correct. I told you all of our history in a vain attempt to defend myself, yet it was you and then your father who took the action that I failed to take. Everything that was done by your father was done with no hint of Georgie’s name associated with it, and for that we both thank you.
If Richard did not count me a brother, he would have beat me within an inch of my life when I revealed to him that Wickham had joined the Derbyshire Militia, and that they were encamped in Meryton for months and I had not mentioned a word to him until our return trip from Rosings Park. ”
“It is to my shame that it was not me that published the warnings. Young maidens would not have been ruined. I intend to pay the militia and your father back for any money they paid out for Wickham’s debts, including his debts of honour.
I will make sure that the families of the ruined girls know that I will help in any way I can to try and help secure their futures.
” He stated all clearly and firmly so she could see and hear that he understood the depth of his mistakes.
“Mr Darcy, you take too much on yourself,” Elizabeth protested.
“No, I do not, Miss Elizabeth. It was I who remained silent, so it is mine to fix. Lastly, you must allow me to beg your forgiveness for that pride filled, arrogant, and most abominable proposal. I espoused my love and then followed it with insult after insult. In my mind I was showing you that the deep and abiding love I have for you was able to overcome all of the myriad of nonsensical objections I raised and considered. I did not imagine you would reject me, nor what it meant when one encounters and falls in love with a woman that deserves to be pleased. As you pointed out after reading my letter, I hide my feelings well, too well. Whether you knew it or not, I fell in love with you when I thought you the penniless daughter of a country squire with a small and entailed estate, so you know that I am not a fortune hunter, but a man with many faults he is, thanks to you, now aware of and is working to correct.”
“Let me close by begging your forgiveness, Miss Elizabeth. I will grovel as much as you require to earn said forgiveness. I promise you that I will attend to each and every reproof, and I will endeavour now and ever more not to be or behave hypocritically or abominably again. I will be the most gentlemanly of men, and never again hide information from the ladies I love and that are in my care. My final request, Miss Elizabeth, is that while I am working on fixing my flaws that you allow us to begin again. I ask for no promises for the future, just the chance to show you the man that I truly am, the one that my parents and family see in me.” He waited, his heart on his sleeve and shining hope in his eyes.
Lizzy was silent as she thought while Mr Darcy sat fidgeting waiting for the verdict.
‘Not only are his words sincere, but he has humbled himself in front of everyone in this room. This is a very different man than the one I knew prior to today. He is not trying to pressure me; all he wants is the chance for me to know him. I see no harm in that, and I do already like his sister and cousin Lady Tiffany, though one has cried and the other has stayed absolutely silent but for an invitation to tea.’ After thinking the request over for a few minutes as everyone held their breath, Lizzy held Georgiana’s hand tighter in an offer of support as she could see that she too was watching with hope.
“Like my sister and my aunt, I forgive you Mr Darcy. It took a lot for you to make the declarations that you have done here today, and even more to humble yourself in front of others. What kind of person, what type of Christian would that make me if I refused to forgive you? Yes Mr Darcy, I would like to start again. No pressure or preconceived notions, let us get to know one another in an open and honest way. I allowed my prejudices to affect my judgement after my vanity was wounded at the assembly. The fact that Mr Wickham’s disclosure of his version of events was made to me so soon after meeting him should have raised red flags, but I was so happy to find out anything negative about you that I ignored all of the inconsistencies in his statements.
“Both Jane and my Papa warned me that I was wrong to accept what he said at face value, that I had only heard one side of the story. My response was that he was so gentleman-like and I saw honesty in his countenance. You and Papa were right Jane, and I was wrong.”
“Miss Elizabeth, just like Georgie, you were the victim of a practised liar, manipulator, and seducer. I am very grateful that you were only taken in by his lies and he did not meddle with you or any of your sisters. I applaud the steps your parents are taking with respect to your younger sisters, and I can only thank God above that the extent of your family’s wealth and the size of your dowries was not known to him.
Look what he did to try and gain Georgie’s thirty thousand.
Could you imagine what he would have tried to get his hands on the amounts that you and your sisters have? ” Darcy forgave her as she had him.
“William we should depart, we still need to get Tiffany home before Aunt Elaine calls out the palace guard to search for her. It was a pleasure to meet you all. Mrs Gardiner, Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth we hope that we will see you again soon.” Georgiana curtsied as she offered the last, meaning it more than she maybe ever had before.
Mrs Gardiner looked at her nieces and decided they would not object.
“Mr and Miss Darcy would you join us for an informal family dinner on Friday? You might meet my children, who are walking along the Serpentine with their governess and nurses this morning, so they are not here to be introduced. Lady Tiffany, please convey to your mother and family that they are welcome as well, and I will repeat the offer when we take tea with Lady Matlock on Thursday.”
After looking to his sister to confirm, Mr Darcy accepted the invitation.
Lady Tiffany said that she would pass the invitation on to her mother, and they would send a note around as soon as there was an answer.
With a lot less tension than when the visitors arrived, they were farewelled and with the genuine feeling that both sides wanted to know the other better.
Before he left however, Darcy had the displeasure of informing the ladies of the accusations that Miss Bingley had made about Miss Elizabeth.