Chapter 33 #2
“I was lucky to have my Uncle after my own dearest father was called to heaven but I did not ask for help or spend enough time with my family. In my pride and conceit, I felt it was a sign of weakness to accept too much help; my mistake was in thinking that help should only be about business matters. Family is important for many reasons, and while none of us would attempt to take your father’s place, we will support you when the inevitable happens, so please let us help you.
Spending too much time alone afterwards will turn you into a man you soon will not be able to recognise.
I beseech you to learn from my errors and not to repeat them. ”
The younger man choked up. He had never thought that he would be accepted by so many members of the first circles, let alone considered family by them and a brother to some.
“Thank you, William. That means so very much, and even more that you are all so close to Helen and can look out for her while I help Papa. I would lay down my own life if it meant that Papa would be well, but I know that he will be called by God to join Mama very soon. I promise you that I will take the advice you give to heart. The burden will be much lighter knowing that I will not be alone. I thank you, all of you, for your support and your guidance.” Neither of the two were overly comfortable with an overt display of emotions felt between them, so they continued their ride and eventually returned to the stables.
Darcy saw Lizzy walking in the garden and joined her. “Hello, my love.” He came up behind his unsuspecting affianced.
“Ooh,” she started and turned to him, “William, my love, I did not hear you but I am glad you came to find me. I missed you. Were you able to help Tim today?”
“Yes, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth. We covered a lot of ground. I made sure that he knows that when the inevitable comes to pass he will not be alone,” he imparted to her and nodded when she looked at him in surprise.
“In my ‘manly’ pride I made the mistake of thinking I could only ask for help when it was about my estate or business. The understanding of family being there for family was only something I learned when I was smart enough to fall in love with you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“You are the best man I know, William.” She rose on her tip toes and kissed his cheek.
“You make me want to be a better man, my love,” he responded, his words filled with the emotions he professed.
“No matter what my influence, love, if you were not innately a good man it would all be for naught,” she reminded him.
They reached a point that was out of sight of the house and Darcy took advantage of the privacy by sweeping her into his arms, kissing her ardently, his tongue seeking hers with urgency and passion.
Her arms wound around his neck, one hand clutching to him and the other ruffled his dark, unruly curls.
He drew her into him tightly and felt the lines of her body through the thin material of her dress and she the feel of a bulge pushing against her belly through his breeches. Their breathing turned shallow as their desire and passion intensified, almost reaching the point of no return.
It was with great strength of will that he broke the embrace.
He separated from her in all ways but the most important, his forehead against hers as they caught their breaths, when mostly regulated he slid his fingers down her wrist to capture her hand, their fingers interlaced.
“I am so sorry that I allowed myself to take such liberties, Elizabeth…” he winced at what she must think of him.
“Do not dare apologise, Fitzwilliam Darcy!” she cut him off midsentence. “If you did something wrong then I am a wanton hussy,” she pushed back.
He stared at her aghast at her saying so when he was so grateful…and then he understood. She wanted him, and knowing it, having been gifted the proof was worth the hours he would lay in agony for her, dreaming of her tonight and every moment that she was not in his presence.
“What transpired was welcomed by me as much as you were willing to give it,” she challenged him with arched eyebrow to meet her as a man who ached for her and proved he wanted her as much as she wanted him or more so.
“Just when I think I have finally found the depth of my love for you; you show me that we are just starting to plumb the depths. God, I love you, Elizabeth. I cannot wait for us to marry. But I feel this is the right moment to admit that like you, I too am…have been chaste.” He held his breath as he waited for her response.
“That only enhances you in my mind, William. We will learn, experiment and teach each other. There is too much love between us for me to worry about that aspect of our life. I too love you more than I have words to express, but if we give into the passion, it seems our hearts know exactly how to guide us, and both of us are great readers,” she teased, again straightening the front of her dress.
‘How does she know…she cannot, I am sure it was a tease. I will intensify my studies from the special books that my dear father left me, I will be educated on our wedding night!’ He promised himself silently as he laughed and nodded, sighing in relief and again forced to admit that she was seeing things more clearly than he was.
They put themselves to rights and returned to the house, both taking pleasure in their extended family and while they stayed physically connected most of the evening, they kept their eye contact minimally so they would not forget others were close by.
The next day the Bennet and Fitzwilliam carriages made a stop at Janet’s Well. Knowing that this goodbye, this final goodbye, would be very hard for Helen and Tim, the Bennet parents, the newlywed Fitzwilliams, and Mary and her betrothed had decided to make a visit on their way to Ashbury.
Bennet met with Mr Jacobson and their now shared children in the master’s chambers. It was in this meeting that the Earl revealed the changes to Helen’s dowry and the legacy for Tim.
When the flabbergasted Jacobsons all tried to object saying that the Bennets were doing far too much, Bennet held up a hand and they were collectively silenced.
He explained that the amounts were very small compared to his other children, and his conscience could not do less, even though the amounts were less than he preferred.
“Father Bennet, I do know how much Lydia’s dowry is and I understand that it hurt you not to just match hers in what you have done for us.
Your family’s generosity knows no bounds; this gift is more than just money.
What you have gifted us is a new opportunity to see that the Jacobson name thrives.
I may even make my husband take my name to have the name continued by myself as well as Tim,” she joked as she took his hand in hers and kissed it.
“Your restraint is appreciated. I fear I would have fainted had you forced me to become an heiress like Lydia is!” she sighed in relief and winked at her Papa, making him chuckle and shake his head in awe at the woman his daughter had become.
“You are welcome, my dear. If your future husband has a problem taking your name, you have four or five big brothers that will remind him you are worth it,” Bennet chuckled as he winked at Tim who grinned as his Papa nodded.
“Big brothers? Who needs big brothers? I have Mary, Jane, Lizzy and Mother Bennet in my corner,” she scoffed, making all her favourite men laugh together.
“Your Lordship, you have my deepest gratitude and respect. Any man who could withstand six young ladies and a wife with such fortitude is a man who has far more mettle than the average one encounters,” Tim acknowledged and Helen laughed delightedly.
“Oh, you have no idea, brother, but you will in time when you meet our sisters,” she informed her brother, smiling sweetly at him and refocusing on Mr Jacobson now that he had mostly collected himself.
Tim promised his father that he would use part of his funds to fulfil an unrealised dream of his to expand the estate and add a horse breeding programme.
Mr Jacobson knew that when he was taken, he could meet his wife again with the knowledge that their children would be taken care of in such ways as had been beyond their wildest dreams. The three planned to leave him to rest as his energy waned, but he requested Bennet stay for a moment.
“Lord Longbourn…” he started, chuckling when Bennet arched a brow which unfortunately turned to a wheezing cough that the Earl neither panicked because of nor frowned. He just waited as he would hope one day would be done for him, if necessary.
“Bennet, not Lord anything, we do share children after all,” the Earl said.
“Bennet, there are no words to express how much I appreciate how you have supported…” his words were stayed when Bennet held up a hand.
“I know that is not the reason that you asked us to be Helen’s guardians, you did it for the love of your daughter knowing that she loved my Lydia as a sister.
Now, with Helen, I have six daughters that are each a unique pleasure when they walk into the room.
Your gift is beyond any I could pay you for.
What I did for our children was no more than they deserve as our son and daughter.
As you have spent little time with my wife, I will give you the opportunity to tell her you are unwilling to allow it.
I dare you.” He arched a brow in challenge.
“I think I know when to concede a battle, sir,” Mr Jacobson chuckled then sobered. “I have asked Helen to allow Tim to walk her down the aisle should she choose to marry,” he informed Bennet and locked eyes with him, daring the Earl to gainsay him.
“As the man who has loved her longest, it is only his right,” Bennet smiled sadly.
“Damn it, man! Are you always so unflappable?” Jacobson asked.