Chapter 1
Hanna
Today
The new guests will surely complain if I'm not finished in ten minutes.
With firm pressure, I wring out the mop. The hot water quickly turns my fingers fiery red, but I don't care. Nor do I mind the beads of sweat forming relentlessly on my forehead or the fact that my jeans are soaked from a little accident with the water bucket earlier. With determination, I push the mop across the floor, following the wood grain.
There's a rustling sound behind me, but I don't turn around. I need to prepare the cabin for the next vacationers, and my time is almost up. I'll probably have to skip cleaning under the red-and-white-checkered sofa, so at least I can scrub away the soot marks next to the Swedish stove.
"Wow, it's really busy in here," someone remarks.
Without interrupting my work, I glance around. In the rustic-furnished hallway, I see Elina. Her honey-blond hair shines in the incoming spring sunlight. "Hey," I say with a smile.
"Oh dear." She furrows her eyebrows in concern. "Do you have a headache again?"
How does she know that?
Quickly, I grab the water bucket. "I'm fine. What's new?" I ask, hoping she won't pry any further.
"I'm doing well. But you look tired." Suddenly, she's right next to me, giving me her penetrating doctor's gaze. "When was the last time you took a day off?"
A day off? How is that even possible? "I'm perfectly fit, and I enjoy my work." As if to prove it, I dip the mop cheerfully into the water.
From the corner of my eye, I see her tapping her chin with her index finger, giving me an intense look. She shouldn't. My life is what it is, and it could be much worse, so I won't complain.
"You're a great doctor, but sometimes you see things that don't exist," I add, winking at her.
Suddenly, she smiles at me. "And you're the best sister-in-law one could imagine. That's why I want you to be well."
Wait a second. Did she just say sister-in-law?
As if she can read my thoughts, she waves her hand in front of my face. I notice a delicate silver ring on her ring finger with three azure blue stones embedded in the metal.
"Wow," I whisper in awe and even pause in my work for a moment to pull her into a hug.
"That's amazing, isn't it? I want you to be one of my maids of honor. There'd be two of you. You remember my best friend Maya, right? She already said yes," she chatters away as I try to put on a carefree expression for her, kneeling to scrub away the soot marks.
Elina and my brother are the happiest couple I have ever seen. It's as if they see into each other's souls every day, finding beauty even in the darkest corners. Soon, they will start a family together. It's wonderful, and I should be happy for her. Yet all I feel is a painful longing.
With effort, I manage to lift the corners of my mouth. "It would be an honor for me."
I look around. After cleaning the living room, I need to tidy up the hallway, vacuum the doormat, and change the light bulb above the entrance door. I also have to prepare the floral welcome greeting for the new guests.
My God, how am I going to manage all this?
"It will be fantastic," Elina exclaims, jumping up with excitement, her eyes sparkling. "You won't believe what Noah came up with for the proposal. The entire observatory was lit up with candles. He waited for a night with many shooting stars. And then…"
She sighs blissfully, and my heart clenches. I swallow hard but keep my composure. Florian and I will get married someday too; I just need to be patient a little longer.
"Then he got down on one knee in front of me. He said his love for me was as vast as the sky above us. And that I am the star that will always shine for him." Elina lowers her eyelids bashfully. "It's quite cheesy, isn't it?" she adds softly.
With a determined headshake, I guide Elina toward the exit. Noah is ready to share his life with her. That's simply beautiful. "That's just how true love is," I say even though I've stopped believing in true love myself. It doesn't exist, at least not for me.
She steps back, allowing me to start mopping the hallway. Her cheeks turn rosy. "Absolutely."
"It will be the most fantastic day of your life," I say, then quickly finish my work, crouching down to grab the mop. I'll have to clean the narrow threshold manually, or it won't be properly clean.
"And it will be," she says with an enthusiastic expression, rolling up her sleeves. "I'll help you. The flowers are missing, right?"
Without waiting for my answer, she marches over to the cleaning trolley parked on the concrete slabs in front of the cabin and gathers a bunch of daisies.
I put the mop aside, swiftly vacuum the doormat, and finally look up at the light bulb.
How am I supposed to reach that? What if I use one of the patio chairs as a makeshift ladder?
You might end up getting hurt, and nobody wants that , my mother cautions me in my thoughts.
"Well, what do you think?" Elina proudly presents her handiwork.
"Beautiful," I say with gratitude, nodding as I accept the flowers from Elina and arrange them in a vase on the patio table.
She looks around, searching. "What else can I help you with?"
"We're done. I just need to—"
Florian's voice interrupts from a distance. "Hanna?"
"I'll be right there!" I immediately shout back, promising to return later with a ladder to change the light bulb. I turn to Elina. "Sorry, I have to go."
"No problem, my patients are waiting anyway." Her cheeks flush again. She finds more joy in her work than anyone else I know. Being a doctor is her dream, and she gets to live it every day.
How lucky is she?
With a quick hug, she bids me farewell and dances away through the garden while I hurry to join Florian.
I return the cleaning trolley to its shelter and climb the uneven stairs of our house adorned with rustic wooden beams. The third step creaks particularly loudly. We should replace it before an accident happens.
I open the door and step into the cozy, warm hallway. The scent of the bread I baked this morning lingers in the air, making my stomach growl. But Florian is my priority now. I slip off my shoes and, in the same moment, feel Florian embracing me from behind.
"The guests should be arriving any moment. Is the cabin ready for occupancy?" He nestles his cheek against mine, his beard tickling my skin.
I lean my head wearily against his shoulder. "Yes."
"Great." He quickly pulls away from me. "Come with me, I have news," he says suddenly in a tone I can't quite place. Serious, yet a little mysterious.
Curious, I follow him into the study and let him guide me to his desk, which occupies an entire side of the room. Disordered piles of papers coexist with full blue and red folders. Almost instinctively, I start picking up the scattered paper clips.
With a sigh, Florian drops into the imposing swivel chair and reaches for the computer mouse. Deep furrows appear on his forehead.
I slide the paper clips into their designated box. "What's wrong?"
"Well…" He clears his throat right away. "I didn't want to worry you, so I haven't said anything until now, but…"
"But?" Apprehension creeps up in me. His serious businesslike demeanor intensifies my feelings.
He strokes his blond hair with both hands and locks his fingers at the nape of his neck. "Our guesthouse is not doing as well as we hoped. And most of the income we get is used for repairs."
My apprehension turns into concern. In the past seven years, Florian has been handling the bookkeeping. Even though I don't have access to the finances, I can well imagine that it's true. There's always something broken, and our cabins are increasingly left empty. "The accommodations are showing their age."
"Exactly. And we don't have anything special to offer our guests. The late check-in and early checkout service hardly attracts anyone."
Does that mean I’ve cleaned the cabins in record time for the past few weeks for nothing?
He logs into his computer and opens the accounting software. "In the past three months, we have been in the red. And that's despite the fact that we don't even have to pay wages and have received the money from the grant I landed at the beginning of the year."
I lean against the desk, utterly bewildered. Is it really that bad? Why didn't he tell me earlier?
I could ask, but deep down, I already know the answer. He knows how much I fear ending up where I was before I met him. The thought of being on the streets with nothing but the clothes on my back and not knowing where the next meal will come from terrifies me.
Out of consideration for me, he didn't confront me with it; he wanted to solve the problem on his own. But now, it seems that the time has come when he can no longer keep it to himself.
"We need to take action," he adds unnecessarily, his expression serious.
Of course, we need to take action! This can't continue like this. "What if we add a conservatory?" I suggest, secretly imagining how we will design it.
With hanging chairs, a gently trickling waterfall, and plenty of large, lush green plants. Some orange trees with their fragrant blossoms to enchant the guests. We should also incorporate an aviary with parrots. Kids love the colorful feathered creatures, especially if they can talk. The image builds up in my mind, and I feel like I'm about to get lost in it.
That can't happen. My dreams have no place here. I quickly pinch my forearm. Then I glance at Florian, who is thankfully focused on the screen.
"Small changes won't help us. We need to think bigger," he says earnestly. "Much bigger."
"What do you suggest?" I reach for the loose stack of papers to straighten it up. "More funding?"
He immediately raises a calming hand. "Leave that to me. I already found a solution." His eyebrows rise, and the corners of his mouth twitch.
When he makes this expression, he looks like a little boy who has concocted something mischievous. Then he looks at me promisingly even though he already has my full attention.
"We're expanding."
Expanding? What does he mean by that?
"I found an estate in Tuscany for sale at the ridiculous price of only 400,000 euros. Five hectares of land with a main house and two outbuildings." His voice almost overflows with excitement. "I think we should buy it and turn it into a guesthouse."
My mind races with thoughts, flitting around so hectically that I can barely grasp them. Another bed-and-breakfast? In Italy? For such a huge sum?
Perplexed, I let the documents slide onto the desk. "But we can't afford that."
He spreads his arms wide, smiling gently. "Of course, we'll take out a loan."
Seeing the eager anticipation in his gaze, I know he expects an enthusiastic thank-you from me. I can't help but nod cautiously even though my fear has begun to consume me from within. The increasingly painful throbbing in my temples is tangible evidence of it.
As if sensing what's going on inside me despite my efforts, he stands from his chair and wraps his arms around me. "We have to invest if we want to achieve something. That's how it works in business." He softly strokes my back. "In a few years, everything will be different. We won't have to worry anymore and can take it easy."
"That would be amazing," I admit because the vision is simply too beautiful. Never again cleaning toilets, preparing breakfast boxes, or washing mountains of sheets and towels. Then I would have time to create a garden. I could…
"And it will be," he assures me because he knows how to make me happy. "You know I would never suggest anything that could harm our future." With a satisfied nod, Florian releases me from his embrace. Then he cups my cheeks with both hands, looking at me lovingly. "We'll make it together."
Of course, I know that. He would do anything to see me happy. "What do you want me to do?" I ask on impulse.
"It would be great if you traveled to Tuscany to visit the property. I need you and your knowledge of Italian on-site." Florian takes a seat on the chair again.
Yes, that makes sense. As a child, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents in South Tyrol. Even though I've only spoken Italian with guests lately, I should manage well in Italy. "Okay."
"The price is too good to be true. And the seller never shows up himself; he always sends a woman who claims to be his daughter. We need to make sure he's not trying to cheat us." He concentrates on the screen, opening three files at once. "You can also check possible excursions and take photos for the website and promotional brochure. We'll need a list of expected repairs and renovations to calculate the costs." The printer at the end of the desk hums and spits out several pages. "Don't worry, I've prepared checklists so you won't forget anything."
As I take the warm paper from the printer, I realize the list seems endless and probably contains every important detail. Florian has even provided fields for notes and listed questions with possible answers that I just have to check off. He knows me too well.
"I would love to accompany you, but time is ticking," he says as if trying to encourage me. He takes my hand and squeezes it tightly. "While you're there, I'll take care of the finances and talk to notaries and lawyers about contract clauses."
His cheeks are flushed, and his gestures become more animated.
He has planned everything without me. But it’s one hundred percent for us.
I give him a grateful smile. If I were only half as organized as he is, I would be able to contribute useful thoughts. But, of course, I can only think of one question. "Who will take care of the bed-and-breakfast while I'm away?" Since I moved here eight years ago, I've never been away for more than a few days.
"I have a solution for that too." He grins widely and hands me a sheet of paper with a photo and a résumé. "This is a student from the hotel management school in Innsbruck. She'll be doing her mandatory internship with us, which won't cost us much," he says proudly.
A seventeen-year-old is supposed to handle everything on her own? I'm not so sure about that.
"Natalie will have her first day the day after tomorrow, and you'll leave next Thursday. Until then, she'll have to learn everything, but I'm sure you'll be able to train her quickly." He reaches for a notepad and writes down a name and a phone number, then hands me the paper. "This is the supposed daughter of the seller and your contact person in Italy. She will show you around and help you with your tasks."
He really has thought of every detail. But that's just him. Florian has everything under control, and not for the first time, I feel how lost I would be without him. He hasn't just made a plan for a life of security. In addition, he has done all the preliminary work and even created a checklist to support me.
It's clear. Florian is the doer. I, on the other hand, am still just a daydreamer. Even though I've learned not to show it to anyone anymore, Hanna Daydreamer still lies dormant within me. Sometimes she threatens to awaken, but I won't let her. Because the world she dreams of simply doesn't exist.
I quickly reach for the piece of paper and attach it to the other documents with a paper clip. When I look up again, I see him looking at me.
"Smart and structured action is now the most important thing," he says energetically. "It's early March. It will probably take a few weeks for both of us to complete our parts in the preparations. If construction work is necessary, it could be tight to open before summer."
He's right. I haven't thought about that yet. I meet his gaze and nod emphatically. "You can count on me," I say, determined not to make any mistakes. The plan is too significant, and our goal is too big.
Finally, we will have what is most important to me in life: security.