Chapter 27
Hanna
He brought roses. Now he spreads his arms and smiles at me with excitement.
"Surprise!" he exclaims loudly and walks toward me. Seconds later, I'm in his arms, and he sways me back and forth. The scent of the flowers, which he still holds in his hand, surrounds me. "My God, I missed you so much."
Hearing his words, I have to swallow hard. But even that doesn't help against the guilt that threatens to spread all over me. "And I missed you too," I whisper in a choked voice.
He kisses my cheek and continues forward until our lips touch. Kissing Florian while knowing that Vico is watching feels awful.
I end the kiss as quickly as possible, but I still feel Vico's gaze on my back. I can't stop wondering what he might be thinking at this moment. Maybe because it's easier to think about him than to confront my own feelings.
Florian lovingly brushes my bangs away from my forehead, while scattered thoughts race through my mind. I condemn myself for not being able to enjoy his presence. For being a lousy partner to him and for not being sure anymore if buying the estate is the right decision.
Finally, Florian steps back from me and hands me the bouquet. "I just couldn't stand being without you any longer."
Words fail me, so I nod briefly and turn around. Vico's face is frozen. "Florian, this is Vico," I say, trying to say something. Then I point at Camilla's husband. "And this is Pietro."
"Pietro and I have already been introduced," Florian says as he approaches Vico and casually extends his hand. "Nice to meet you," he says in English, his smile charming, and his posture relaxed.
Vico, on the other hand, seems like an iceberg as he responds to the greeting. "I'd love to stay, but work calls."
"Of course, we have a lot to discuss too," Florian replies, putting his arm around my waist and raising his eyebrows invitingly.
For a moment, tense silence fills the air. I seize the opportunity to cast one last glance at Vico. His expression remains frozen as he shoves his hands into his pockets, turning away with Pietro. He doesn't give me a chance to signal how sorry I am that Florian appeared at this very moment. Who knows what would have transpired behind the house near the field of poppies if we hadn't been interrupted.
It was for the best. This is where it must end before something irreversible occurs.
"Alright then, let's go," Florian exclaims cheerfully, pulling me along with him.
But with each step, unease sets in. I should say something, but chaos reigns within me. "Is Natalie managing the inn on her own?" I blurt out, the first thought that crosses my mind.
His gaze turns sad. "We have no guests tonight. Again."
What? Even though things haven't been going well lately, we usually had a few bookings. "So things are still going downhill." I swallow hard, lowering my gaze. Once again, I feel like the worst person on earth. While I was here in Italy, enjoying life, he has been working for our future.
He lifts his index finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. "We have a plan. All we need to do now is put it into action."
That's right. I nod in agreement, realizing how absurd my earlier fantasies were. I belong with Florian. We've been a great team for years, and if we stick together, we'll have a wonderful life ahead.
"Show me how far you've come." He looks around eagerly. "The run-down shack looked much better in the pictures," Florian grumbles.
I immediately focus on him. "Yes, the estate is quite dilapidated," I admit, strolling alongside him on the courtyard. "But with some work and love, it will be beautiful again."
He walks over to the outer wall, tapping the stones for inspection. Then he examines the decrepit rain gutter. Although dusk has already set in, the damages are evident. "You didn't tell me about the rust."
Did I not mention it? How could I forget?
"I'm sorry." The urge to make up for my mistake overwhelms me. "The first cost estimates have come in," I quickly say, feeling uneasy about why I'm so eager to justify myself. "And I took new photos."
My backpack is in the car, and I retrieve it, taking out the camera to show him the pictures. But as soon as the display lights up, I realize what a terrible idea that was.
The first photo shows the vineyard.
It's enchantingly beautiful. But it brings a memory that now makes it hard for me to breathe. Right after this picture was taken, I sank into Vico's arms. I leaned against his chest and breathed in his scent.
It was magical.
And wrong.
At no point was that clearer to me than now. Sharing my fear of water with him at Spiaggia bianche was the first mistake. But the moment I allowed him to get so close to me at the vineyard was crucial. It was the beginning of something that currently feels like it can't even be stopped by Florian's presence.
"This is great, Hanna!" Is it astonishment or admiration that I hear in Florian's voice?
Whatever it is, it makes me glow. "I'm still learning, but soon I'll get the hang of it."
He takes the camera from my hand to look at the rest of the pictures. "Is this all?" He frowns and looks back at me. "Just the vineyard? And what's this? A nature park?"
The canyon. I only took two pictures there before I was persuaded to try the zip line, losing myself again.
Florian seems deeply disappointed. My stomach feels heavy.
"It was busy. Camilla had her babies, and Vico…" I trail off.
His puzzled look silences me. "You've been spending time with the family?"
Regretfully, I lower my gaze. Spending time with the Olivettas felt so nice. Have I been too easily swayed by them? Was that wrong? My God, I don't know anything anymore.
"Just to find out more about them," I say quickly, grateful for at least this excuse.
He hands me the camera back. "And?"
Internally, I'm torn apart. If I tell Florian they can't be trusted, he'll reconsider buying the estate. The Olivettas would have a chance to preserve their family legacy. Vico just signaled that he could imagine a life here in Collina da sogno with his family. Or did I imagine it too readily?
"Hanna? Are you daydreaming again?" Florian nudges me.
I would have reacted defensively before, but suddenly, I don't want to. Even though everything else I saw earlier was exaggerated daydreaming, this one thing wasn't. Pretending to be someone I'm not isn't right, so I look him firmly in the eyes. "And if I were?"
For a moment, a deep furrow appears on his forehead, then he waves it off. "So what about the Olivettas? Are they trying to swindle us with a bargain price?" He gestures toward the dilapidated building. "Not that we invest here and never manage to renovate this ruin."
What does his evasive reaction mean? Whatever it is, I won't lie to Florian. Not after everything I've already put him through. "I think they are okay," I say.
Now, he smiles again. "Tomorrow, I'll finally meet the seller in person. Then we can be sure." He reaches for my hand, and we stroll on. "Come on, let's continue exploring together."
Walking beside him, I don't know what to say. I still can't gather clear thoughts. A grueling silence settles between us as I keep stealing glances at him, asking myself questions that shouldn't be hard to answer.
Is Florian the right man for me?
What do I feel for him?
"Don't you even want to know about the progress with the required loans?" he asks with a disappointed look.
"Surely, you have everything under control." I caress his arm. "You always do."
"That's only possible because you have my back," affection shows in his expression. "I love you, Hanna."
I swallow. "And I love you." The words taste strangely sour on my tongue. I don't know if they're true. It could all just be a holiday fling. That's madness! "Tell me about your achievements," I ask him, trying to get rid of this terrible emotional turmoil.
As we approach the decrepit pool, he says, "You'll be impressed because I've pulled out all the stops." A broad grin makes him look mischievous.
While we pass the pool and walk toward the outdoor terrace with overgrown herb beds, he talks about things I barely understand. He speaks of short-term overdraft credits, collateral, and annuity loans. Then he mentions sums and percentages that I understand even less. He talks about repayment premiums and effective annual interest rates. My head spins. A throbbing pain spreads in my temples, and my neck stiffens.
"That sounds amazing," I still say after he finishes his explanation. "You've done a great job."
"One must give everything for their goals," he clenches his fist with a determined expression.
I nod in agreement. My throat is so tight that I can't say anything more. Despite my migraine attack, I realize once again that I'd be lost without him. He knows the paths we need to take, lovingly takes my hand, and bravely leads the way. I may not know much, but one thing is clear: with Florian by my side, I have a future that I shouldn't risk.
My confused heart rebels.
Suddenly, Florian stops. "What's wrong, Hanna?"
Everything is wrong. But there's nothing I can talk to him about. "You're amazing," I answer, sounding as small as I feel.
Is that how it's supposed to be? Is it right to feel like this in a relationship?
With a gentle look, he strokes my cheek. "But only because I have you by my side."
I give him a timid smile as another realization forms in my thoughts.
He needs me. And I need him. We complement each other; that's the essence of our relationship. It was like that from the beginning, and it was good.
But right now, at this moment, as we stand closely embraced in one of the most beautiful spots of the estate, a sense of doubt creeps up in me. Good alone might not be enough.