CHAPTER TWO RECONNECTING
CHAPTER
TWO
Reconnecting
Benny’s lie about his mother in the hospital and his debts won him a boatload of sympathy.
Alice started dropping off casseroles every few days, and Ed offered to mow his lawn for him so he could use his time to deal with other things.
When he came calling on Gloria, Mr Meyers pulled him aside to tell him he knew how expensive hospitals could be and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of looking after family.
He felt like more of a fraud than ever.
‘I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,’ Gloria said, slipping her hand into his as they stood in the garden, away from her parents. ‘You were trying to tell me, and I let my imagination get the better of me. I should have listened.’
‘No. I’m sorry, G. There’s so much I should have told you.’ He looked over his shoulder. ‘I want you to know everything.’ The confession sat on the tip of his tongue. His palms pricked with sweat. ‘I don’t know how to say it all.’
She looked into his eyes and smiled, open, trusting. ‘It’s okay. You’ll find the words when you’re ready. I’m just glad you’re the kind of man who sticks up for his family, no matter the price.’
He slipped his hand from hers and dug it into his pocket.
‘I know you want to get your momma’s hospital debt sorted out before you think about …’ she paused ‘… the future.’ A shy blush colored her face. ‘I understand. I can wait.’
His confession dissolved to nothing in his mouth. After that he took steps to avoid her, coming home too late for visiting and sending her chopped-short messages through Ed.
Gloria wrote notes full of forgiveness and understanding that she left on plates of peanut-butter cookies and blueberry muffins that she dropped off while he was out. Thinking of you and Let me know if I can help with Xs for kisses.
When he came home to a handwritten card in his mailbox, his stomach sank.
He had to do something about Gloria. He pulled the card out, but the handwriting wasn’t hers.
Glancing at the return address, he recognized it as Aunt Teen’s.
Benny’s breath caught and he hurried inside, tearing open the envelope and checking the signature.
Patsy.
He smiled and sat with it at his table, eager for news of home and wanting to feel connected to people he had no secrets from. Then he read the letter.
Momma and Cora couldn’t make rent, had been kicked out, had sold nearly everything and moved in with Patsy and Aunt Teen.
She reminded him that Cora hadn’t found work since Green’s Whiskey burned down, and that without Roscoe, their income dropped to his momma’s pay alone.
The letter dripped with accusation, all but saying he should have known this would happen, and he should have.
Blanketed by the night, he got into his car and drove straight to Aunt Teen’s. He parked a block away and hurried to their door. When no one answered his quiet knocking, he thumped his fist against the wood, anxiety spoiling his caution.
Patsy opened it and glared at him before pulling him inside and closing the door behind him.
‘What are you doing here?’ Cora said, stepping out from the kitchen.
‘Benny?’ Momma said, coming from behind her.
So, it was true.
‘You should have told me what was going on,’ he said. His fear and concern for them made his words come out exasperated and impatient.
‘Oh no you don’t,’ Patsy said. ‘You don’t come to my house pounding on my door, all riled up, acting like you’re the one with a bone to pick. No, you don’t.’
He deflated, not sure what to do with himself.
‘You shouldn’t be here,’ Momma said, but she opened her arms for him, and he came to her hugging her tightly, dipping his head to her neck and taking in the scent that was pure Momma.
‘How did you know?’ Aunt Teen asked.
He glanced at Patsy, who ducked her head.
‘You told him?’ Momma said, pulling away from him to focus her temper on Patsy. ‘After I said not to.’
‘And you came,’ Cora said, like that surprised her, as if she’d thought he might not. Guilt folded over him like a blanket.
‘Are you out of your mind, Patsy Louise Johnson?’ Momma thundered.
‘Don’t blame her,’ he said. ‘She did right to tell me.’ He would have known if he’d come home, and he smarted at needing to be kept informed. ‘Didn’t you think I’d want to know?’
Momma reached up and cupped his cheek. ‘Oh, my Benny.’
‘It’s not like they could have stayed with you,’ Aunt Teen said.
‘Maybe not, but he came straight over when he heard,’ Cora said. ‘Even living in Levittown.’ She stepped forward to hug him and he crumpled a little inside, realizing how far they thought he’d stepped away from them.
‘Of course I came. We’re family, aren’t we? I’ll always come.’ When he said it, he knew with a certainty that it was true. A powerful regret settled over him as he saw what that meant for him and Gloria.
‘Have you eaten?’ Momma said, fixing another place at the table before he even answered.
They fed him collard greens, yellow rice and black-eyed peas, and it tasted like home.
Sitting with his family, he felt rooted in a way that only happened when folks truly knew you.
He thought of Gloria and her family, with their cookies and casseroles, kind-hearted and good-natured, and he knew it wouldn’t work. It would never be this.
Eating his fill, listening to the back and forth of their rich, round voices, he felt a longing build in him that closed his throat.
He wanted his nice house, his good job, his future prospects.
He wanted the easy life he had across town.
He wanted Gloria. But he would never be able to walk away from his family.