Chapter One #2
Seth’s temporary reprieve was ticking down. He glanced at his watch. Fifty-eight minutes left to fight his way out of this mental prison he’d walled himself in eight years ago. Fifty-eight minutes to save the bonds that mattered most. Fifty-eight minutes before his future started without him.
As he bolted down the stairs, he jerked his keys from his pocket, then slammed the front door behind him. His SUV roared to life, tires squealing as he tore from the driveway.
He knew exactly where he needed to go.
The door slammed with such force that Beck felt it in his bones. Heavenly flinched, a fresh sob escaping her. She trembled as she bit back the sound while he settled her on the edge of the oversized tub.
“Shhh,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you.”
He turned the taps, adjusting the temperature of the water until steam rose. It gave his hands something to do while his mind raced.
Seth had one fucking hour to get his shit together—or Beck was done. Done waiting. Done hoping. Done putting their future on hold.
After months of vying for Heavenly’s heart, Seth had become like a brother to him—closer in many ways than his actual brother. He and Seth understood each other. Two men of action. Two protectors. Both willing to do whatever it took to keep Heavenly safe.
Why couldn’t they agree on how to make her happy?
“I’m worried,” Heavenly whispered.
“Don’t borrow trouble, little girl.”
“What if I’m not enough? What if he doesn’t come back?” She lifted tear-filled eyes to him that wrenched his fucking heart. “What if he won’t take another chance?”
Beck crouched closer. Her cheeks were mottled. Mascara tracked dark paths down her face—remnants of the elegant makeup she’d worn to Raine, Liam, and Hammer’s wedding earlier that evening.
“Stop,” he insisted gently, reaching for a washcloth.
He doused it and carefully wiped away the black streaks, leaving her fresh-faced.
Even with swollen, red-rimmed eyes, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Seth has to wrestle his demons. You can’t do it for him.
Neither can I. This is about what’s in his head; it has nothing to do with you not being enough.
You are, and he knows it…or he wouldn’t be struggling.
Seth has to choose to overcome his fear. ”
He reached for the zipper of her dress. Once he’d lowered it, she lifted her arms automatically, helping him. Such trust. Such soft surrender.
“What if he doesn’t? What if he…can’t?”
Her ragged question broke his heart, and if Seth wasn’t dealing with an implosion of his own shit, Beck would have beaten the hell out of him. Now, all he could do was comfort their girl.
“When we talked the night Raine’s twins were born, you said you were ready to have kids.” He unhooked her bra as she stepped out of her panties. “But you wanted to wait for Seth.”
“Yeah,” she murmured as he helped her into the water.
“If that’s not possible…if he doesn’t come back, do you want to stay, knowing I’ll be the one to get you pregnant?” He swallowed hard and forced himself to ask what he feared most. “Can you be happy with just me?”
Losing his first love, Blessing, had hurt. Dissolving his marriage of convenience to Gloria had been bittersweet. But losing Heavenly would destroy him.
In the steaming water, she drew her knees to her chest, her voice breaking.
“Since Dad died, I’ve realized how important family is.
How precious. How quickly they can be gone.
” She blinked up, sadness filling her eyes.
“I want both of you. I always have. But we can’t wait indefinitely. I know that. It’s not fair to you.”
Beck lathered the washcloth and stroked her back. “Don’t worry about me. I want to know what you’re feeling. What you want. And before you make any decision, I want you to be sure.”
She twisted her hair into a makeshift bun, nibbling on her bottom lip. “I’m young. I have time to have kids. But I understand. You want to start a family while you’re young enough to enjoy them.”
“That’s true, but that isn’t what I asked. You’re still focusing on me. I’m asking what you want.”
Heavenly closed her eyes with a sigh. “It’s not that simple. My head is a mess. I can’t even think straight, and—”
“Let’s break it down, then. If Seth doesn’t come back, what about us? Just you and me?”
Her eyes sprang open, and she rushed to reassure him. “I love you. I’m not leaving.”
The relief filling him nearly stole his breath. If Seth couldn’t pull his head out of his ass and embrace their shared bliss, it was his fucking loss. Beck would do everything in his power to give Heavenly the strength, guidance, passion, and joy she needed.
“I just can’t picture what life would be like if Seth left for good.
We’d figure it out, I’m sure, but…” She heaved a shaky sigh.
“When we finally got together, I thought our relationship would look more like Raine, Liam, and Hammer’s.
That we’d all share this love. It might take more than a night for me to change my vision of the future. ”
“I get it. Changing mine will require an adjustment, too. But if Seth forces us to do that, lean on me. We’ll work through it together. I’m not going anywhere, little girl.”
She lifted her hand from the water and squeezed his. “I needed to hear that. I rely on you both so much. But if we’re going to have kids, I’d like to get married. Maybe that’s old-fashioned but—”
Beck couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face. “I’ll marry you tomorrow. My divorce from Gloria has been final for months. I’ve been waiting ever since to put a ring on your finger.”
“I’m ready. For a while, I thought I wanted to travel and explore first…but not more than I want family, love, and permanence. We can travel later, right?”
“Of course. Whenever and wherever you want. We’ll definitely have a hell of a honeymoon.”
She gave him a wobbly smile before her gaze skittered to the rippling bath water. “But what if Seth stays? What if he asks for more time? If he’s not ready for kids, is he even ready for marriage? Or commitment in general?”
These were the conversations they’d skirted for months, dancing around them like landmines. He cupped water in his hands and let it trickle down her shoulders. “Listen, Heavenly. We—”
“I’m not done. All these questions keep swirling through my head. So many possibilities… What if you get me pregnant and then Seth comes back?”
“We’ll cross that bridge, but if he comes back for good—to commit—I’d welcome him.”
“But would he accept our child? And if he comes back, and he gets me pregnant, would you accept his?”
“I can’t speak for him. For me, any child you have by one of us belongs to all of us,” Beck assured her.
“But you’re trying to ‘what if’ every possibility, and I don’t have the answers.
No one does—except Seth. We just have to wait and see.
Whatever he decides, we’ll handle it together. That much, I promise.”
With a teary nod, she rested her chin on her knees and blinked up at him. She looked so young and too fucking vulnerable.
“Where are you in your cycle?” He was pretty sure he knew since he’d tracked her for months.
“In the middle.” She blushed. “I felt ovulation pains yesterday.”
Beck’s pulse quickened. His cock stiffened. After tonight—if things went as he hoped—there was a real possibility she would be pregnant. That they’d start a family. That he’d be one step closer to everything he’d longed for.
“Yeehaw…” he drawled, his voice rough.
A little smile peeked through her tears. “Beck…”
He stroked her cheek, his fingers leaving damp trails on her skin. “In all seriousness, I’d rather have Seth with us, but I’m not putting off our happiness anymore. He can either join us…or walk away.”
“You’re right,” she said so softly, he almost didn’t hear. So sadly, it nearly broke him.
Beck ached to pull her from the bath, tumble her into bed, and let nature take its course. But she needed tenderness and reassurance that he could—and would—handle whatever came their way. He’d be her anchor, whether Seth was beside him or not.
“It’s okay. Just relax.” He took his time, pampering her, washing her body with gentle, almost paternal care.
When the water began to cool, he helped her stand and wrapped her in a fluffy towel.
Then he lifted her into his arms, nuzzling her softness against his chest as he carried her back to their bed.
There, he settled against the headboard and unwound her hair from the loose knot, calming when she sighed and cuddled against him, full of trust.
The minutes ticked by on the bedside clock, each one seemingly longer than the last. Forty-three minutes left. Then forty-two. Then forty-one.
“I love him,” Heavenly whispered into the silence, looking bereft and lost.
“I know.” Beck pressed his lips to her crown.
“I care about him, too.” And he did. Seth understood him, had his back.
The big former cop had been one hundred percent behind him when the religious zealots he’d once called family had come.
Beck wasn’t sure any of them would have made it out alive if not for Seth and his tactical know-how.
“But there comes a point when you have to protect yourself—and the people you love—even if it hurts.”
Outside, a car drove past, the sound of its engine rising and falling. Not pulling into their driveway. Not Seth’s SUV returning.
“What if he never comes back? Never even speaks to us again?”
A cold knot formed in Beck’s gut. He tightened his arms around her. “He wouldn’t do that. But if he chooses not to stay, we lick our wounds. Then we move forward. Together.”
The question she didn’t ask, the one buzzing through his head, hung between them, impossible to answer: Would she truly be okay without Seth?
The ticking of the clock seemed to grow louder with each passing minute. Thirty-eight. Thirty-seven. Thirty-six.
Beck clenched his jaw. His fingers twitched and tightened around Heavenly, betraying the calm he fought to project. If Seth didn’t walk through that door in—he checked the clock again—thirty-five minutes, her world could implode. His, too.
And it would make the agony of waiting feel like nothing.