Chapter Two #2
Until Heavenly.
In retrospect, her desire for a family, especially after losing her beloved father, should have been obvious. He felt like a fucking idiot for not realizing it sooner.
Brake lights flashed ahead. Seth cursed as traffic slowed to a crawl. Red and blue lights pulsed in the distance.
“Fuck. No!” He slammed his fist against the steering wheel, craning his neck to see past the sea of stopped vehicles. An overturned semi blocked two lanes. Emergency vehicles crowded the scene.
He glanced at his watch. Thirteen minutes.
“Son of a bitch!” He scanned the area for escape routes, but he was hemmed in on all sides.
Panic seized him.
If he didn’t get there on time, he’d have to watch their happiness from the outside. And how the fuck would that feel, watching the two of them have kids and build their happy life without him?
He’d never realized how terrifying that notion was until now, as it was threatening to slip through his fingers.
Finally, the cars inched forward. A police officer waved traffic through a narrow gap.
Nine minutes left.
Seth weaved between lanes like a madman, cutting off a delivery truck and earning a blare of horns. He ignored them. Nothing mattered except getting home.
The digital clock on his dash mocked him as the minutes slipped away. Eight. Seven. Six.
Fuck!
When Seth finally skidded into their neighborhood, almost turning a corner too fast, he had three minutes to spare. He slammed on the gas, praying no cops were around to witness his flagrant disregard for residential speed limits and his California stop.
The garage door seemed to rise in slow motion. Seth didn’t wait for it to open fully before pulling in, the roof of his SUV clearing the rising door by mere inches. He killed the engine, grabbed his keys, and bolted for the entry.
Two minutes.
Slamming into the house, he tossed his keys on the hall table, not caring when they skittered across the surface and clattered to the floor. He took the stairs two at a time, shedding his suit coat as he climbed.
One minute.
At the top, Seth paused only long enough to draw a deep breath.
This was it. He was about to commit to something that still scared him shitless, betting everything on the hope that his head would catch up to his heart. But what choice did he have? Lose them for certain…or take the leap and pray he could fake it until he felt it?
He shoved the bedroom door open. Instantly, two heads snapped in his direction.
Tissue in hand, Heavenly perched on the edge of the bed, eyes red, face blotchy from crying, clutching the lapels of her silky robe.
Beck stood by the window, shirtless, dressed only in sweatpants, shoulders tensed as if ready to defend Heavenly against whatever Seth might say or do.
They both looked his way with a mixture of wariness and hope. Chest heaving, he met their stares.
No one spoke.
Seth tossed his suit coat onto a nearby chair, then approached Heavenly, sliding onto his knees beside her and taking her hands. “I’m sorry, angel. I never wanted to hurt you or make you doubt my love.”
She swallowed. Her lips quivered as if she held back more tears. “I know your past is rough. I understand having fears. Even knowing they aren’t logical doesn’t make them any easier to overcome. We all have them. But we’ve all leaned on each other to get beyond them. You just…cut us out.”
Seth nodded, his throat tight. “You’re right. I let fear choke me. I didn’t know how to let it go.”
Beck turned, his expression somewhere between closed and inscrutable. “And now?”
Pressing a kiss to Heavenly’s palm, he released her and stood. He knew what the surgeon was asking. “I’m in. All the way. Let’s do this.” He began working at the buttons of his dress shirt, toeing off his shoes at the same time. “Tonight.”
“Really?” she whispered. “Now?”
His fingers dropped to the fly of his dress pants. “Right now.”
“Hold up,” Beck barked, shifting to put himself between Seth and Heavenly. “After weeks of balking, you’re ready? Just like that?”
Seth froze, fingers pausing. Yeah, he should have known Beck would want guarantees. “You gave me an ultimatum. I’m giving you an answer. So yeah. Just like that.”
Beck’s eyes turned hard, searching. “You’re totally in…or just for the night?”
“Totally in,” Seth replied, zero hesitation.
“You swear on your father’s grave?”
That pissed him off. “Leave my father out of this. I said I’m in. Accept it or not.”
“You’re a stubborn son of a bitch. Capitulation isn’t your style,” Beck pointed out. “Where did you go? What changed your mind?”
Jesus, he’d turned himself inside out in an hour and given in without stipulations or conditions. And Beck wanted to challenge him? “Does it matter? I figured you’d rather get Heavenly pregnant than play twenty questions. Did you change your mind?”
“Don’t fuck with me. You know the stakes. Once we go down this path, I don’t care if you get scared again. You can’t back out. You get that, right?”
“Of course I get it. I’ve been a father.”
Beck nodded slowly. “And if Heavenly wants marriage?”
“Absolutely. I’m not sure how that will work with my mother or the law, but committing isn’t my issue.
I’ve wanted that since day one. It’s the fear of something happening to Heavenly or our kids that scares me.
” He swallowed hard. “After Autumn and Tristan, I lived for revenge. Offing Silas gave me a hollow victory, not the closure I expected. After that, I plodded through one numb day after the next. When well-meaning people like my mother asked, I’d swear I was fine and reassure them with plastic smiles and counterfeit laughs.
I didn’t think about the future because…
what did I have left? I’d defined myself by my roles for so long.
But I wasn’t a husband, a father, or a cop anymore.
I lost most of my friends…and all of my self-respect.
I was fucking alone—except the two tons of guilt on my chest, slowly suffocating me.
“Then…I saw you, Heavenly. At the hospital the terrible morning Raine killed Bill. One glance, and I not only fell, but I had purpose again.”
Beck snorted. “Yeah. Fighting with me for the right to touch her.”
“That kept me so blinded, I didn’t think about what the future looked like.
” Seth cupped Heavenly’s cheek. “You asked me earlier if you’re worth it.
Angel, you’re beyond worth it, and you should know that.
I uprooted my existence and left my family to be with you.
I’d lay down my life for you. I’m facing all my fears for you. ”
“I know.” Tears sprang to her eyes as she nuzzled into his hand. “Thank you.”
She pulled away with a kiss to his palm before she sent Beck a beseeching glance. The surgeon sent a sharp nod back, and she flashed him a smile.
Thank god they’d accepted his explanation. Seth nearly sagged with relief.
Heavenly shouldered her way between them and laid a soft hand on his chest. His whole body tightened as he gave in to his urge to draw her closer. “Angel?”
“I know another tragic loss isn’t impossible, but your job, that case…
That’s not your life anymore. You’re here now—different line of work, different coast, different people.
This time, you have Beck and me, not to mention all our friends.
Since they risked their lives to protect us when Beck’s family attacked, I know they’d do anything to keep our children safe. ”
She was right. Whatever came next, whatever problems they had, his circumstances had changed. And he wasn’t alone. He had Beck and Heavenly, and they’d face everything together.
Seth looked at Heavenly—really looked—taking in the hope and love radiating from her, despite the tears she’d shed for him.
“No more roadblocks. No more hesitating. I’m here—if you’re sure.
” He paused, memories of Autumn’s collapse under the weight of motherhood flashing through his mind.
“And you’re aware that a baby will change your life forever.
School will be harder. Growing your career may take longer. That travel you wanted—”
“We’ll make it work.” Her soft voice carried conviction.
“A baby will change everything between us, too.”
“I know,” she assured him.
But did she? Did either of them? “I’ve been a parent. Autumn and I…” He hesitated, not wanting to seem as if he was grasping for more excuses. “She wasn’t ready for that responsibility. It strained everything between us.”
Heavenly’s eyes softened with understanding. “I’m not Autumn, Seth.”
“You’re right; you’re nothing like her,” he acknowledged.
“You’re strong and incredibly independent.
But I need to make sure you understand that a baby isn’t just a cute addition to our lives.
It’s a lifetime commitment. It’s endless nights without sleep.
It’s arguments about who’s more exhausted.
It also means less time for us.” He glanced between them.
“And right now, what we have is…pretty close to perfect.”
Beck stepped forward. “Perfect doesn’t mean complete, Cooper. Life moves forward or you’re not really living.”
Seth nodded. “I know. I’m not pushing back again. I wish Autumn and I had realized some of these things before Tristan was born. I’m making sure you both understand what we’re walking into.”
Heavenly placed her palm against his cheek, the gentle touch steadying him. “The difference is you won’t be trying to take care of both the baby and me. The three of us will face this together.”
True. Being a parent wouldn’t be the same this time. With Beck and Heavenly, it would be something different. Something new.
Her soft voice carried gravity. “I’ve been thinking about this—our future—for a while. And I want a family with both of you.”
Heavenly would make an amazing wife and mother.
Seth held her gaze, feeling the last of his resistance evaporate. He’d made it home—physically and emotionally—with seconds to spare. He was choosing to live. Choosing to love. Choosing them, just like Zach said. Just like Autumn would have wanted.
Heavenly was on board, but…
He turned to his partner in her pleasure—and hopefully, in the rest of their lives. “Beck?”