Chapter Twenty-One #4
Across the hall, Heavenly was curled up with Seth.
Beck could picture them—her tucked against Seth’s chest, his arm wrapped around her as they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.
He wasn’t jealous. Seth loved her, and Beck didn’t begrudge him a damn thing.
But he should fucking be there, too. That bed wasn’t complete without all three of them.
Hell, Heavenly slept better when she was between them. For that matter, so did he.
He was tempted to throw caution to the wind and sneak into their room. If he was quiet, he’d get away with it. Grace and Carl were at the other far end of the hall. As long as he and Seth didn’t make Heavenly scream, no one would hear…probably.
But probably wasn’t good enough. Not the night before Grace’s wedding. Not when one wrong move could blow all their carefully constructed facades to hell.
Hating every minute of this, Beck jerked the covers and turned over, staring out the damn window at the quaint suburban street with a huff.
The fact that he couldn’t hear anything from across the hall—no murmurs, no creaking of bedsprings, no soft laughter—only made his mood more surly. They were holding back for him; he knew that. And he felt guilty as hell.
Beck tried to drift off, but sleep required stillness. His body refused to cooperate. He shifted onto his back. Then his other side. The pillow was too flat. The blanket too warm. Every position felt wrong because the bed itself was too big, too empty.
He checked his phone. Quarter ’til one.
Fuck.
He set the phone back on the nightstand and closed his eyes, forcing himself to breathe slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth while counting back from one hundred.
It didn’t work.
His mind kept circling back to the same place: Heavenly, just across the hall. So close and yet completely out of reach. He rolled over again, punched the pillow into a different shape, and glared at the ceiling.
Time dragged. He watched the rotations of the ceiling fan. Listened to the house settle around him—the creak of old wood, the hum of the refrigerator downstairs, the faint whistle of wind against the windows.
Nothing helped.
He grabbed his phone again. Quarter after one.
Damn it.
Suddenly, his phone flashed in the darkness. An incoming text. From Seth.
She can’t sleep.
Beck hesitated. Was Seth asking what he thought?
Cursing, he launched himself out of bed and eased his door open. A quick scan told him the dimly lit hallway was empty. The house was silent. No light seeped under the door from Grace and Carl’s room.
Still, did Seth really want to risk it?
Cooper cracked the door, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. He whispered across the dark hall, “She needs you.”
It would be so easy to hustle into their room and cuddle Heavenly. Hell, he ached to. But… “It’s risky.”
Seth hesitated, then nodded. “I know. Just for a few minutes, until she falls asleep.”
He nodded sharply, pulse revving, as he darted across the hall in three strides, bare feet silent on the hardwood. Seth pulled the door open just wide enough for Beck to slip through, then closed it behind him with a soft click that sounded impossibly loud in the quiet house.
The second Beck stepped inside, he sought Heavenly. She sat against the headboard, knees drawn up, her hair a messy halo around her face, her soft face illuminated by the moonlight filtering through the curtains. Instantly, her stare latched onto him with an intensity that bordered on desperate.
When their gazes fused, relief and joy transformed her expression like a sunrise breaking through storm clouds. Heart kicking up, Beck crossed to her without a word, arms outstretched.
She launched herself against his chest. He kissed her forehead. He wanted to kiss more…but he held back. She needed sleep, not sex.
Still, she clung to him, looping her arms around his neck with a whimper, face tilted up to his. How the fuck was he supposed to resist that, especially after days of needing her like oxygen?
“I’ve missed you,” she murmured against his lips.
“I’ve missed you, too, little girl.” He captured her mouth and kissed her deeply, slowly, drinking her in like he’d die without her.
Seth sidled up behind her, hands on her hips as he dropped a kiss to her shoulder.
They were whole, complete. Beck felt like he could breathe.
Together, they fell to the bed in a heap. He and Seth folded Heavenly between them like she was something precious. Because she was.
Three adults in a queen-size bed felt somewhere between ridiculous and impossible. It was a bit like cramming into a clown car—and he didn’t care. They made it work.
They always made it work.
Beck pressed his lips to hers again in a slow, tender kiss that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with need.
Heavenly exhaled. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t be without you anymore.”
“I couldn’t sleep either,” Beck murmured against her mouth. “Close your eyes.”
“We’ve got you, angel,” Seth promised, his hand sliding over her hip to rest on Beck’s arm, anchoring them all together.
Gradually, they shifted until Seth ended up on his back with Heavenly tucked against his side, her head on his chest. Beck pressed against her back, one arm draped over both of them, his face buried in her hair.
It was cramped. The mattress wasn’t wide enough, and Beck didn’t dare move or he’d probably fall off the bed, ass first. But none of that mattered.
This was what he’d been missing. The warmth of her body against his.
The steady rhythm of Seth’s breathing. The way Heavenly’s hand found his and held on tight.
“Better?” Seth whispered.
“So much,” Heavenly breathed.
“Perfect.” Beck tightened his hold, feeling something in his chest unclench for the first time all night.
Seth lifted his head and stared at Beck. “Is it? Really? I feel like a sardine.”
“Thank fuck you don’t smell like one,” Beck quipped back.
Heavenly covered her mouth to muffle her giggle. Beck pressed his face into her neck, stifling his outright chortle. And Seth pressed his lips into a thin line, as if that could keep his bark of a laugh from escaping.
They lay tangled together in the dark, in the postage-stamp bed that was uncomfortable as hell. And for the first time since they’d arrived in New York, Beck finally felt like things were right.
He and Seth stayed like that, wrapped around her, both whispering soft reassurances until her breathing evened out and her body went slack with sleep.
Beck felt the exact moment she let go—the way her grip on his hand loosened, the small sigh that escaped her lips. He pressed one more kiss to her hair, careful not to disturb her.
Seth shifted slightly, adjusting his position so Heavenly was cradled more securely between them. His eyes met Beck’s over her shoulder in the dim light.
For a while, neither of them spoke. Just lay there, listening to her breathe, feeling the rise and fall of her chest.
Then Seth’s voice came, barely a whisper. “I couldn’t sleep either, so I’ve been thinking, trying to decide when and how to tell my mother. About us. About this.”
Beck’s entire body went still. His pulse kicked up, but he kept his breathing steady, his gaze locked on Seth’s.
The air seemed to leave the room—and his body—in a rush. “And?”
“I need to look her in the eye and tell her. I respect her too much to call her from the other side of the country. You know that.”
He’d said that before, and Beck had always thought it was a BS excuse…until he’d met Grace. “Yeah.”
Seth’s eyes held his in the darkness. “So I’ve decided to tell her Monday.”
Beck’s breath caught. Monday. Two days away. After months of pretending. After days of subterfuge under Grace’s roof. The lies would be over. Hopefully the torment, too.
He wanted that more than anything for Seth. For Heavenly. For their collective future. But now that he’d met Seth’s mom and saw how close this family truly was, he hesitated. “You’re sure?”
“It’s past time,” Seth whispered. “I need to ask Carl if he’s talked to Mom since my visit last month and if she’s relented any. I’ll take any help I can get.”
Grace softening her stance? Beck hadn’t seen that. “He hasn’t volunteered anything?”
Seth shook his head. “I haven’t been able to get him alone for even a moment.
But tomorrow, I’m hoping to get a few private moments with him before the ceremony.
Once I’ve gotten the scoop, I’ll pull my brothers aside one by one, get their read on things.
I need to know if I can count on their support when the shit hits the fan. ”
When, not if. Clearly, Seth was under no illusions about how this would go.
“You said they didn’t seem shocked by the idea when you talked to them last month.” That gave Beck some hope Seth would have allies.
“They weren’t. I think they’ll be on our side. Then…I’ll start looking for the best way to approach Mom.” Seth’s jaw tightened. “I have to do it gently.”
Beck’s chest constricted. He’d waited months for Seth to commit to telling his family the truth. Now that the moment was here, the magnitude of what the big guy was undertaking hit him hard.
“Not to be an asshole, but what gentle way is there to say, ‘Hey, Mom, I’m in a committed threesome’?”
Seth winced. “Three seconds, and you found the flaw in my plan. There isn’t a gentle way to say it. But I have to try.”
“You don’t have to do it alone. I can stay,” Beck offered quietly. “If you want to tell your mom on Sunday before we fly out, I’ll stand by your side. Help you explain. Answer her questions.”
“No.” Seth’s answer was swift and firm. “My family. My problem.”
“And it’s our future. Seth—”
“You want to help, I know. I appreciate it. But—”
“A stronger, more united front might be more persuasive. If Grace sees how much we love Heavenly, how happy she is and how much she needs us both—”