Chapter 21
THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
Aubrey
Twigs crunch under my feet as the summer sun sneaks its rays through branches canopying the trail. Wildflowers bloom along the path while birds chirp from nearby branches.
Bees buzz too.
But nope. I refuse to think about the birds and the bees. I’ve got a better plan for Ellie the Elephant today.
Keep the guys talking about hockey, like I’ve done all afternoon on our hike. “So that game last year when you went into overtime when you were playing the Sabers,” I say, cueing Dev on my next round of hockey chatter.
Another hockey tale will keep my mind where it belongs. Off my lust. “They were working you hard in that game. Taking shot after shot on goal. Were you exhausted at the end of it?”
Dev’s ahead of me, hiking in trim khaki shorts and a T-shirt, and fine, the clothes look good. But I’m not checking out his ass. Nope. I’m not at all admiring the gloriously firm shape of it whatsoever.
I so am.
With a quick glance back at me, he gives an easy shrug and winds past a small boulder. “Yes, but no. I’ve got pretty good stamina,” he says, a twinkle in his green eyes.
Great. Just great.
I try to laser in on a question that can’t become wordplay. “What about you, Ledger? What’s the wildest game you’ve ever played in?”
From behind me, the Sea Dog forward hums, clearly giving it some thought. I steal a glance at him as he says, “That’d have to be—”
“Fuck. Shit. Hell.”
I startle, whipping my gaze back to the man in the lead who’s backing the fuck up, right into me.
“What’s going on?” I ask Dev, setting my palms on his back.
Dev flails a hand at the dirt path in front of him. “I thought I saw a—”
“My sweet summer child.” I laugh softly then sidle past him to handle the scary creature. I bend and pick up…a long brown twig. I waggle it, not meanly, just playfully. “This thing?”
Dev shudders, then breathes out hard, a dragon disturbed. “It looked like it.”
“Dude. Dude,” Ledger says, unable to stop chuckling.
“I saved you from the twig,” I say to Dev, then I wing the stick into the woods, away from the path. I turn around and squeeze his shoulder, reassuringly. “There, you’re all safe now.”
Dev closes his eyes, his expression pained, like he’s embarrassed. When he opens them, he mumbles, “Fucking hate snakes.”
We’re jumbled together on the narrow path. A thicket-covered hill stretches up on the left, and the other side of the trail slopes to a gently flowing river below. This proximity, this intensity—it’s like it was when we were in bed.
Which means we should keep going, maybe all afternoon and all night. Anything so that I don’t have to face the temptation of sleeping next to these two men again.
“Want Aubrey to walk in front of you?” Ledger goads Dev. “Protect you from any more woodland threats? There might be a chipmunk ambush ahead.”
Dev flips him the bird.
Ledger smiles, then says genuinely, “No worries, man. If a Ferris wheel jumped at me, I’d freak the fuck out too.”
“What is it about Ferris wheels?” I ask Ledger while Dev resumes his pace. “Is it heights you don’t like?”
“Nope. I hate the thought of getting stuck,” Ledger says, owning his fear. “Do not want to get stuck in something that I can’t escape from.”
“What about you, Dev?” I ask as he hikes past a willow tree, its branches sweeping the top of his head.
“I don’t entirely know. I looked it up—the fear of snakes. Did some research. I can’t figure it out. I just fucking hate them,” he says darkly.
“I shouldn’t have suggested we go hiking,” I say, guilt clawing at me. Why didn’t I realize this would trigger him? I was so focused on finding an activity that felt fun and adventurous for three people on a makeshift honeymoon.
But Dev stops again, tilts his head my way. Glares. “It’s not stopping me. I like hiking. I like moving. I like exercise. Don’t you even for a second think about not doing something because of me.”
His eyes are blazing. And they heat me up. Or maybe it’s the way he’s facing the fear anyway. For me. “Thank you,” I say.
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go. Dammit. Everyone knows honeymoons are for hiking,” he says dryly.
A laugh bursts from me. “Yes, they are.”
We soldier on, wandering past the water many feet below. Supposedly, there’s a bench around a loop in this trail with a view of the clear, bright blue waters, then the mountains all around us. I want to take a picture there, a memento of the trip.
We stop talking for a minute or so as the path narrows. We meander along, farther away from the water, till Ledger breaks the silence by clearing his throat. “What about you, Aubrey? You’re not afraid of S-N-A-K-E-S,” he says, and Dev turns back, rolling his eyes. “What’s your irrational fear?”
As we trek away from the water, deeper into the cool of the evergreens, I give it some thought, then avoid the truth. “I’m not actually sure.”
“You have to be afraid of something,” Ledger says.
He’s right. No one is fearless. But I don’t love saying mine.
I try to turn his question around. “It’s funny that you ask.
I hear so much of my clients’ fears. We tend to talk about everything.
Their worries, their days. Fear of getting old, fear of dying, fear of spiders.
Fear of intimacy. I try to listen to all of them. I try to help them if I can.”
Dev peers around me again. “Are you afraid of that?”
“Of what?”
“Feeling helpless,” he says easily.
Oh. Was I that obvious? Maybe I was.
Up ahead, I hear a rustling of leaves, then a gurgling sound. “Yes,” I admit.
“When do you feel helpless?” Dev asks as we reach the stream. There’s a huge log across it, a makeshift bridge.
My throat tightens. We shouldn’t be talking about things like fears on a platonic honeymoon. It makes you closer. It makes you like someone. It makes you care.
“When do I not?” I ask as I step onto the huge, felled tree. When we reach the other side, we’re deeper into the woods. It’s both quieter and noisier. The sounds are birds chirping, branches crunching, water bubbling. But the place becomes more serene, and quieter in that way.
“Do you mean because of your dad?” Dev asks gently after another minute of silent walking.
“Yes, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help my mom either. I think I can, but I don’t have what she needs,” I say.
“What’s that?” Ledger asks.
I turn to him, feeling helpless all over again. “She misses my dad.”
Sadness crosses his eyes but understanding too. “I’m sorry.”
“I shouldn’t be such a downer. It’s a trip. An adventure. It’s not time for being sad,” I say, and as I walk, I hunt for happier topics. Games. Events. Food. Something. Anything. “What’s your favorite—”
My foot stumbles on the edge of the path.
Dev grabs my hand, jerking me close to him. My heart skitters. “You were about to step off the trail,” Dev says calmly, right as Ledger’s hand comes down on my hip, holding me firmly.
Dev’s eyes swing to the side of the path. Slowly, fearfully, I follow his gaze. Then gasp. There’s a sharp drop-off. A steep hillside. Maybe ten feet or so into the stream.
Right now, I’m up against Dev, my heart beating in my throat. I’m in front of Ledger, his hand curled on my hip. Neither man lets go.
I’m not afraid of a thing now. Although the fear of never kissing your brother’s best friends is a new one to add to the list.
I lift my chin, meet Dev’s eyes, and whisper, “Kiss me.”