Chapter 13
thirteen
HARPER
I sit in Lard Have Mercy with my foot bouncing under the table, anxious for Finn to arrive.
I’m not sure why. It’s not as though anything he says is going to change my decision to have this baby.
But if he comes in here guns ablazing and blaming me, I’m going to fire right back.
Jack was right, it took both of us to make this happen.
The bell over the door dings, and Finn walks in. He’s wearing another hoodie this morning. It’s hunter green, and he has on a pair of worn jeans. I raise my hand in greeting, and he spots me, giving me a tight smile as he winds his way through the morning crowd.
“Hey.” He slides into the booth.
Maci arrives at our table immediately to offer him coffee.
She’s a second-generation Lard Have Mercy waitress as her mom used to work here back when my dad was growing up, or so I’m told.
She fills his coffee and looks at me. “You sure you don’t want some, Harper?
Usually, you’d be on your second refill by now. ”
I play off her comment with a laugh. “I’m sure. Read a study about how too much caffeine isn’t good for you, so I’m trying to cut back.”
She shrugs and asks if we know what we want. I order some maple blueberry waffles with whipped cream, and Finn asks for bacon, eggs, and toast without looking at the menu.
“Coming right up,” Maci says and heads back to hand in our order.
“So…” I say, leaning back in the booth, needing a little more space between us.
“So.” Stress lines his face. A part of me feels bad for having been the one to inflict it, which is ridiculous. That should be the least of my worries right now.
“Listen, Finn, I just want to make something perfectly clear that I probably should have gotten out yesterday. I didn’t tell you because I don’t expect anything from you. I’m ready to do this on my own, I just… You deserved to know, that’s all. I’m not looking to blow up your life.”
He pulls the paper ring off his silverware and folds it over, making it smaller and smaller until he can’t fold it anymore. “I’m glad you told me. I mean… Jesus, my brain is still spinning, but thank you for telling me.”
I sit quietly, waiting for him to say more. It seems as if he’s still working out his thoughts.
Finally, he meets my gaze. “I know you don’t know me well, but I’m not someone who shirks my responsibilities. You didn’t find yourself in this situation on your own. I was a more than willing participant.” He chuckles. “I don’t expect you to deal with any of this on your own.”
My cheeks heat at his reference to the night we spent together.
A part of me is relieved that he wants to be involved, though I’m not sure in what capacity. It would be nice to not feel as alone as I am now. But he’s getting married in less than two months…
“I can’t imagine Tamra is going to take the news well. I’m sorry.”
Maci arrives at our table and sets our meals in front of us. “Need anything else, you guys?”
“I think we’re good. Thanks.” I give her a smile, then look over at Finn when I feel him wrap his large hand around my wrist before I can pick up my silverware.
He waits to speak until Maci is out of earshot. “You need to stop apologizing. No, Tamra is not going to be happy about this. But it’s no one’s fault. What’s done is done, and now we need to figure out the best way to move forward.”
I press my lips together and nod. “I’ll understand if she doesn’t want me to handle your wedding anymore.”
He sighs and picks up his fork. “I have to go home and talk to Tamra about what this all means, but then I’ll be back. I have a bunch of vacation days banked, so I’ll spend some time here in Lake Starlight while we figure everything out.”
“You don’t have to?—”
“I do, Harper.” He holds my stare for a beat. “I want to.”
I push back the small amount of excitement in my belly. This man is engaged to another woman, and while it’s great that he wants some kind of involvement in our child’s life, it doesn’t mean anything for us. There is no us.
“Okay.” I unwrap my silverware and pick up my knife and fork.
He nods. “In the meantime, do you need anything before I head to the airport this afternoon?”
I shake my head. “No. The next step for me is telling everyone that I’m pregnant. Not something I’m looking forward to.”
“How do you think your parents will react?” He brings a forkful of eggs to his mouth.
“Honestly? Not well. They’ll probably see my unplanned pregnancy as another sign that I’m their screwup child.” I cut into my waffles. My stomach has been pretty good the last couple of days, so I plan to take full advantage while I can.
He frowns. “They think you’re a screwup?”
I shrug, concentrating on my blueberries oozing out of the waffles. “They’ve never come out and said that, but they don’t have to. I am, especially compared to my brother.”
He finishes chewing a bite of toast. “What’s the deal with your brother?”
“Do you follow professional baseball? He plays for the Chicago Colts.”
He stills with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Wait. Your brother is Easton Bailey?”
I’m not surprised that he knows him. Easton’s team might have played like shit this year, but my brother is the best shortstop in the league. “The one and only.”
He nods, trying to act as if he’s not impressed.
“Anyway, I’ve always felt like I didn’t fit into the box my parents hoped for me and…” What the heck am I doing confiding in Finn as though we’re on a date or something? “It doesn’t matter. The point is that I’m dreading the disappointment I’m sure will be on their faces when they find out.”
Finn reaches out over the table and squeezes my wrist. “Maybe it will go better than you expect.”
He’s trying to be supportive, but I really wish he’d stop touching me. It makes it too easy for my mind to blur the lines.
“Thanks.” I pull my arm away, and he retracts his hand.
“If you want to wait until I come back, I can go with you when you tell them.”
“You’d do that?”
His forehead wrinkles. “Of course. I’m not gonna lie. I’m scared as shit, but for you, I’ll be there.”
I give him a small smile. That’s really nice of him. “I appreciate it, but I think it’s better if I do it alone.”
He nods and digs back into his breakfast.
“Do you plan on telling your parents?” I bring a bite of my waffle to my mouth.
“Hadn’t really thought of it yet to be honest. I’m more worried what I’m going to say to Tamra.” He cringes.
Suddenly, my hunger disappears.
We’re both quiet for a while, in our own heads while we eat.
I’m glad Finn knows, and he’s taken it better than I expected—or at least he’s putting up a great front—but I feel terrible for how upset this will make Tamra. Broken up or not, no woman wants to hear about her new fiancé sleeping with another woman while they were on a break.
We make idle chitchat for the remainder of breakfast, and when we’re finished, we slide out of the booth.
“Oh wait. You left this at the cabin, so I brought it for you.” I hand him the baseball hat he was wearing yesterday.
“Thanks.” He takes it and slides it onto his head backward.
I don’t know what it is about the look that he has going on right now with his hoodie and the backward baseball cap, but he looks so hot that the space between my thighs buzzes.
I clear my throat. I cannot be attracted to this man. Not only is he engaged, but he’s the father of my unborn baby. Things between us need to be simple, not an even bigger tangled mess.
“All right, well this is kind of awkward…” I swear his cheeks pinken as we make our way out of the diner onto the sidewalk.
“More awkward than your pregnant one-night stand planning your wedding to another woman?” I chuckle.
He grins, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Can we exchange numbers?”
“You’re right, that is more awkward.” I pull my phone out of my purse and hand it to him.
He inputs his number, then texts himself so that he has my number.
“I’ll text you when I know when I’ll be back in town, but if you need anything before then, just let me know.” He passes me back my phone.
“Sounds good.” I slide my phone into my purse and stand awkwardly for a moment. “Finn, I just want to reiterate that I don’t expect anything from you. I?—”
He raises his hand. “Enough with that, okay? I don’t know what this is going to look like going forward, but I do know that I’m not going to just pretend this isn’t happening.
” Finn looks at me expectantly, and I nod.
“All right, I have to go pack my things then head to the airport. I’ll be in touch. ”
We look at each other for a beat, further awkwardness spreading over us like a blanket. If he’s like me, he’s wondering how we say goodbye—do we shake hands, hug, do none of that? I’m the mother of his child, but at the same time, I’m nothing at all to him. This whole situation is weird.
In the end, I thumb over my shoulder. “I’m parked that way, so I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”
He nods, lips pressed together, and I turn and walk down Main Street toward my car.
So far, this has gone better than I expected. So why do I feel as though I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop?