16. Parker Cain
16
PARKER CAIN
Laughing at that moment was not the best response.
But in my defense, he’d just fucked my brains out. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I might have been light-headed and delirious still.
Luckily, I only needed to hear his dissatisfied grunt to realize I’d screwed up. He stepped away, his belt jingling above the sounds of the frogs and crickets restarting their symphony now that we’d finished. I scrambled to my feet and tried to chase after him while fighting to get my pants up. My head spun and my knees gave out.
“Fuck! Come here!” I shouted after him while ordering my body to obey me.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” I snapped. I caught his arm and held him in place by the trunk. My briefs were up, but my pants were around my ankles. “I laughed because I didn’t think you were serious.”
“Why?”
“Declan!” For a moment, I was speechless, but I found my words again quickly enough. “I’ve got your cum leaking out of my ass. We’ve been fucking for almost a year, and I’ve been living with you for a week. We’ve done this all ass-backward. It’s like we’ve skipped the entire dating phase. It would have made more logical sense for you to ask me to marry you.”
“Oh.” Declan seemed to frown at the car for a second and then gazed up at me. “Do you?—”
I released his arm and slapped my hand over his mouth. “Do not ask me something you’ve not thoroughly thought about, Mister I Never Want Kids.”
When Declan’s lips firmed up behind my fingers, I removed my hand and dropped it to my side. “Dec, I like you. Even before Joy fell into my life, I might have had a few daydreams about asking you out to dinner, but I chickened out.”
“Why did you chicken out?”
I snorted but turned my almost laugh into a cough. “Because I knew that was a surefire way to get you to end the agreement we had. We both said from the beginning that it was just sex and nothing else. You’re such a stickler for the rules. You wouldn’t even splurge and impulsively meet me for an extra day of sex. Besides…” My words drifted off as my insecurities rose to choke me.
“Besides, what?” he prodded.
I huffed and motioned my hands at myself. “Look at me.” It was only after the words were out of my mouth that I remembered my pants were at my ankles. With a growl, I snatched them up and fastened them properly. “What I mean is that I could smell the money on you, while I was some temp worker who dreamed of being an artist. I was good enough for a fuck, but not the type you date.”
Declan took one swift, menacing step closer, grabbed me by the nape of my neck, and pulled my head down until his lips brushed my ear. “I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again. We fucked because you are hotter than all reason. End of story. I never asked you out because…I’ve never dated. I’m not good with people.” His hand lo osened on my neck and slid to rest on my chest. “I’m not comfortable with anyone.”
I turned my head, dragging my lips along his jaw. “But you’re comfortable with me.”
“I am. Everything with you feels natural. It’s like…I don’t have to try so hard to be normal.”
“I’m glad. I like being with you, too. It’s very relaxing. There’s no pressure to be fun and entertaining. I’m myself with you.”
“Then go on a date with me? I want more with you than sex and…”
“Friends?” I supplied for him with a smirk. Months ago, I’d never thought I would describe us as that, but since I’d lost Molly, Declan had become my best friend.
“Yes. I want more.” He whispered the words, sending his hot breath across my ear while his hand rested like a warm weight on my heart.
“Normally, I’d jump at the chance, but it’s not just what I want. I’ve got Joy now. We’re a package deal. No matter what, she has to come first in my life.”
“I know that. I like Joy too. She’s your entire world.”
“But you were so dead set against kids.”
“I’m scared that I’ll treat Joy like my father treated me—cold, distant, unfeeling. But when I see you with her, I feel like maybe you can help me not be like that. So…she won’t hate me.”
For a split second, I debated finding Declan’s father so I could kick the old bastard in the nuts. Sadly, that wouldn’t help Declan, even if it would make me feel better.
I stepped closer, nuzzling his neck until he wrapped his arms around me, cuddling me close. “You have never been cold toward Joy.”
“But—”
“Never!” I cut him off. “You’ve been confused and nervous, but never cold. She knows you care about her. She adores you.”
“You think?”
“I know. You’ve seen how she lights up when you come home from work. She’s all kicks and shouts until you pick her up.”
His arms tightened on me, threatening to crack my ribs, and I closed my eyes, soaking in this amazing feeling of security and warmth.
“Go out with me. On a proper date,” he murmured. “I know it’s a risk, but I feel like there are no surprises between us. I won’t do anything to jeopardize your care of your daughter.”
This fucking man. Just endlessly wearing me down. Maybe no surprises, but lots of risks. If this didn’t work out, I could lose my current place to live and my only art patron. Most importantly, I’d lose my best friend.
Yet, what he said was the truth. I trusted him. He knew where I stood with my daughter. I would always try to do what was best for her.
I huffed a dramatic sigh. “Your cum is still leaking out of my ass. It kind of feels wrong to reject you for one date.”
“Smart,” he murmured. He tipped his head up to steal a slow, deep kiss that scrambled what working brain cells I had left. “Let’s go home.”
As Declan’s first act as my new possible would-be boyfriend, he ran interference between me and Franks, then checked on Joy, allowing me to escape to the bedroom so Franks couldn’t see my thoroughly fucked state. And this was after I’d made Declan help me clean out the back seat because there was no way in hell I was going to let Franks or some poor cleaning service scrub my dried cum off that seat. Declan had helped me make that mess; he’d damn well help me clean it up.
I was still in the shower when an “unexpected” guest joined me with wandering hands and soft kisses. It still blew my mind that this grumbly, emotionally distant man could have such a gentle touch. I couldn’t help relaxing under his hands, leaning into him. Being with Declan made everything feel, not easier necessarily, but at least conquerable. That somehow, I could handle it all instead of throwing in the towel.
“Joy?” I murmured.
“Sleeping soundly. No problems at all. And before you ask, I’m giving Donovan and Franks a bonus on their next paycheck for watching her.”
I smiled. He thought of everything. “I should be the one doing that.”
“Shut up,” he mumbled against my skin as he reached past me to grab the bottle of body wash.
“I already washed. I was rinsing, but someone distracted me.”
Declan hummed and didn’t stop pouring some soap into the palm of his big hand. “I’m pretty sure you missed some spots. Let me help.”
By the time I stepped out of the shower, my legs were overcooked noodles. If Declan hadn’t been there to dry me off, I would have fallen onto the bed soaking wet.
Despite being drained, I still pulled on a pair of sleep pants and shuffled into Joy’s room across the hall from my own. A nightlight burned nearby, allowing me to see the sleeping angel with her soft hair standing up in a halo about her head. Her pink lips puckered in sleep. Seeing her safe and sound unwound a hidden ball of tension inside me.
I stepped out of Joy’s room and turned toward my own. Declan stepped away from me as if he were headed to his room. Before he got more than a couple of feet away, I caught his wrist and pulled him into my room. Without saying a word, we climbed into bed together. Declan cuddled me close, his arm wrapped around my waist .
I lay in the dark, listening to his slow, even breathing as he drifted off to sleep. How was it possible that this amazing man had never dated? Sure, he was near mute most days and his resting bitch face was on point, but that was all surface stuff. Once anyone bothered to scratch below that superficial shit, it was easy to see that Declan was a generous, patient, caring, sweet man who was more than willing to give everything of himself for a little bit of love in return.
Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t dated. There were some bastards out in the world who would love to take advantage of him. How many assholes would it have taken to destroy all the hidden warmth and sweetness in him?
Even now, wrapped in that warmth, it seemed silly to go through the whole dating thing. We were already sleeping together, both literally and figuratively. We were living together, for fuck’s sake. Yet sometimes rituals helped us learn important things about each other.
I knew I was half in love with the man. I suspected a few dates would push me past the point of no return. The important thing to me was making sure our relationship was the best thing for Joy. No matter what I wanted, my daughter had to come first.