Chapter 17 #3
“I’d want nothing more, Babbo. I’d love for you to flog me because you’d flog me from a foundation of love.”
Jude pushed the plate aside and picked up a glass of water with blueberries and lemon slices floating at the top. “Here, baby. Cool your throat.”
I drank the water as I’d been instructed, and life couldn’t be better than at that moment. I didn’t say anything, but my remark made me wonder which dynamic he was referring to—a Dom/boy or a Daddy/boy? I’d never considered the latter.
Jude eased me off his lap and started to get up but I intercepted him. “I’ll clean, Babbo. Do you want anything from the kitchen?”
“No, I’m good,” Jude said.
I needed a few minutes alone to figure out how to proceed.
I was glad that I had my epiphany. However, I hadn’t expected that our conversation would get so deep.
Talking about what Andrew and I discussed, which had resulted in another eye-opening perspective, seemed too much for one night.
But I also didn’t want Jude to think that I was stalling.
“You’re thinking mighty hard,” Jude said. He came up behind me and traced the shaved hairline around my ear and along the base of my skull.
I shuddered at the slide of his fingers. “You’re making me forget.”
“Is it about your session with Andrew?”
“Yes, but…”
Jude intercepted me. “Baby, as long as you don’t need to talk about it, neither do I. Let’s go to bed and fall asleep like we always do.”
I smiled because since the first time we’d slept together, no matter how many sexy positions we got into prior to settling down, Jude would snuggle close, putting his head on my chest. I’d tilt my head in his direction in a partial spoon with my arm on his waist. “Good idea,” I said, thinking about work the following day.
Frank always assigned the restorations or problem cars to me, and I got off on the challenges, but success depended on me being mentally alert and fully rested.
Fortunately, the next morning I felt amazing.
After I showered and dressed, Jude had my breakfast waiting.
This morning it was Greek yogurt smothered in mixed berries, garnished with granola and drizzled with honey, accompanied with peanut butter on two slices of sprouted grain toast. I appreciated that our meals were well thought out and healthy.
“Do you plan to keep me healthy for years to come?” I asked Jude in a teasing tone.
“Of course. But I figure eating nutritious during the week allows us to splurge over the weekends. You’ve gotten me addicted to Italian pastries. The cannoli”—he exaggerated with fingertips to his lips and a chef’s kiss—“to die for.”
I smirked because Jude had taken to Mamma’s cooking and the sweets at Noto Patisserie.
I’d always watched my caloric and fat intake given that I stayed in shape for boxing.
So, it was nice to have Jude with the same mindset.
“I agree. But you’re creative with the healthy meals.
” I indicated my plate in front of me. Then I looked across at Jude.
“Our coming together boggles my mind sometimes. I suggested you stay here without ever thinking it might not work. You just started taking care of me like you’d been doing it for years.
I think we should go on a date after work.
It’s Friday night and I want to take you out. What do you say?”
“I’d like that, Ethan. A lot. I’m just wary about running into people from the parish.”
I deliberated for a moment. “Would you feel safe driving inland to Costa Mesa or Garden Grove?”
“I just keep thinking about when I drove inland to Cypress and that’s when Father Matthew was there. When I told the bishop about our encounter, he reminded me that Father Matthew had family in Cypress. I’m sorry, Ethan.”
“I just wanted to treat you, as a token of my appreciation,” I said trying not to show my disappointment.
“I have an idea. A romantic dinner on our balcony overlooking the ocean is a perfect date place. Also, casual attire so no sweatpants. I’ll order dinner to be delivered from the best seafood restaurant in Long Beach. Have you ever eaten at Maxim?”
“Not on a priest’s salary,” Jude said, snorting. “But I’ve heard the members of the congregation rave about it.”
I held out my hand to Jude. “Will you honor me by going out on a date?”
“Yes, Ethan, I look forward to it.”
Eight hours later I could hardly wait. Driving home I reviewed a mental list of everything for our date.
I’d ordered dinner, only somewhat shocked at the prices at the five-star awarded restaurant, but I’d decided the cost was worth making tonight the first one of many beautiful memories.
During dinner, I planned to tell Jude that I was ready to make love.
I was going to suggest that we use separate bedrooms to shower and dress, and at the decided time, I’d knock on his door to pick him up.
Dorky? High schoolish? Maybe. But nothing was too much for Jude.
His kindness and… I don’t dare say love, even though I believed that’s what he felt for me… deserved to be acknowledged.
I pulled my truck into my assigned parking spot and gathered my lunch bag, the bouquet of pink roses, and the wine I’d bought.
I went through the main entrance of my building and pressed for the elevator.
There wasn’t a doorman, and the security was non-existent.
I didn’t mind when it was just me living there but now that Jude was staying with me and had unresolved issues with both the Church and his parents, I was uneasy about the easy access to him.
And for some unexplainable reason, I felt jittery.
The elevator arrived and I stepped inside, determined to shrug off any negative thoughts from that moment on. Tonight was about celebrating my first date with the man I never thought existed for me.
I’d no sooner exited the elevator on my floor when I heard screaming coming from what appeared to be my apartment.
I sprinted down the hall, attempting to balance my items in order to free a hand to open the door.
I didn’t have to; the door was partially open and when I pushed into my foyer, I was horrified by the sight.
A middle-aged woman and man, who must’ve been Jude’s parents, in addition to a priest were towering over him on the sofa.
Jude covered his head with his arms as if he was blocking himself from physical blows but quickly assessing the situation, I thought it was from the emotional attacks they must be assaulting him with.
I tossed everything I’d been holding onto the table in the foyer and then darted to stand in front of Jude. Turning on the enraged trio I demanded, “What the hell is going on?”
“None of your business,” the woman screeched. “We’re here to take my son back where he belongs.”
Placing my hand on Jude’s shoulder, he grabbed it and held it tight as if I was his lifeline. And in truth, I figured I was. “Oh, but it is very much my business,” I spoke, my voice strong and commanding. “Since you invaded my home.”
The woman sneered, “Jude let us in.”
“I doubt it was by invitation,” I said, my voice still steady. Although, she was pushing the limits of my patience.
I kneeled down to Jude’s level. “Do you have anything more to say to them?”
Jude shook his head.
“He has a lot more to say.” From my periphery, I saw the priest take a step toward me.
I jumped up and spun around. Growling, I said, “I suggest you don’t come closer, Father.”
With my back turned to the woman, she lunged for Jude in an attempt to take his arm.
Thank fuck her husband stopped her because I didn’t want to get arrested for putting my hands on her. “Madeline, we need to go. You’ve said your piece.”
“No,” she shrilled and pushed him away. “Jude, you’re making a mockery of us.
Shacking up with a pervert.” Whipping around to me, she screeched, “And what kind of evil person are you to take advantage of an innocent priest? A priest for God’s sake.
” She stepped closer to me, pointing her index finger toward my chest. “A rapist,” she taunted and wiggled two fingers in my face like she knew about my past. Repeating herself, she dropped her voice. “Rapist.”
I stumbled backward as I swallowed back the bile that clogged my throat. Too stunned to defend myself, Jude jumped up. “Shut up, Mother!”
“I can say what I want—”
Jude cut off her sentence. “No, you cannot. This is not your house.”
“We’re just trying to help,” Father Matthew said, “We came to take you back where you belong.”
Jude let out a harsh laugh. “I don’t think so.
” His face was a tight canvas of disgust when he swiveled back to his mother, “I put up with you berating me. But you will not attack the man that I lo— care about. The only person who’s ever had my interests at heart.
So, Mother,” he said, “I’ll tell you one more time.
Get the fuck out now. Or help me God, I’ll call the police. ”
Jude’s vindication of me brought me out of myself. I snatched my phone from my pocket. Raising the screen in sight, I hovered my finger over the emergency icon. My hand shook violently and Jude took it from me. Then he walked past the trio to the door that was still ajar.
Jude’s mother dared him, “You wouldn’t call the cops on your mother.”
“Yes, I would, without a shred of regret.” Shifting his attention to his dad, he said, “I would’ve been angry at you for not standing up to me. But all I feel right now is sympathy that you have to put up with your wife.”
The priest was the last to get the brunt of Jude’s anger. “As for you, Father Matthew, I will be petitioning the archbishop to have you suspended. So, you might want to think of being the one to repent.”
The priest harrumphed. “You wouldn’t do that to me. I’ve been trying to help you.”
Jude scoffed. “There’s not a human alive who needs your kind of help.”
Just then my neighbor appeared outside my door. “Ethan, I heard shouting,” she called, poking her head in.
“I’m here, Kenzi,” I said, having to hold on to furniture until my tremors calmed. When I was next to Jude, I said, “Sorry for the disruption. A family argument that got out of hand. They’re leaving now.”
Kenzi, a social worker for child protective services, appeared skeptical and looked from the trio to Jude to me. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Jude’s given them an ultimatum,” I said as a way of letting Kenzi know that the situation was not resolved.
“Is that so?” Kenzi took a few steps toward her apartment and then called out, “I’ll just get the elevator for them and wait.”
“You heard her,” Jude snapped. “I’m not bluffing, Mother.”
His mother didn’t say anything to Jude but to me she said, “You will rot in hell, rapist.”
Jude literally went to shove his mother out when his dad grabbed his wife’s arm and yanked her with him. Father Matthew suddenly couldn’t escape fast enough behind them.
A moment later, Kenzi’s voice rang out, “Coast is clear.”
Jude stepped into the hallway and waved his thanks to Kenzi.
When I knew that Jude was safe, I let myself crack into a million shameful shards that cut into all the places that I’d thought were healed. Apparently, not when one word aimed at me had the power to undo years of work.
Rapist.
Her attack was so loud in my ears that’s all I could hear. Rapist.
Somewhere to the side of my head, I thought Jude was talking to me, but I was incapable of listening to him.
When he attempted to coax me onto the sofa, I stiffened and freed myself from his arms. I didn’t want to be touched.
Not even from the man who almost told his mother he loved me.
Was his mother, right? Was I a pervert for seducing a priest?
I recalled the day in Mass during communion when Jude was at the altar and I had a hard-on.
“Fuck,” I cried, shoving my palms into my eyes to stop the stinging of tears.
“Baby,” Jude said softly. And that time I heard him. But the endearment made me cringe. He was too close to me again.
I brushed him off and went to the foyer table. Then I remembered the key fob to my truck was still in my pocket.
“Ethan, don’t go out. I promise, I’ll keep my hands off.”
I saw Jude in a fuzzy blur that gradually cleared as I came into myself. I knew what I had to do and I couldn’t let anyone stop me. Not even Jude. “I need to go out for a while.”
Jude looked ready to grab me but then he backed off. “No, please, don’t go,” he begged. “I’ll stay out of your away. You’re not in a condition to drive. Please.”
“I’ll be fine, Jude. Let me have some time alone.”
I made my exit and then sprinted to the stairs in case Jude tried to follow me, taking them two and three steps at a time.
I hated that I ignored Jude begging me to stay.
Just like I hated myself for telling him that I wanted to be alone.
But my raging emotions couldn’t be quieted with kindness and soft words.
I needed to be punished and there was one place where I was sure to find a Dom who would do just that.