The Confidant

Chapter Five

Adelaide

The next morning, I’m grumpy. I know it. I think I’ve earned the right to be depressed.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep last night. I tried to shake off Maman’s words. She’s always trying to maneuver me into doing what she wants. This is a new and frankly agonizing path. If she really believed all of it, she wouldn’t want me anywhere near her home.

I’m thinking hard about my life, alright, just not in the ways she probably meant.

It’s crap. All of it.

And a warning.

If I try to bring Poe up to her again, she’ll twist it. If I want answers, I’ll need to ask Suzette about it. She’s the only one who’s met her soulmate other than Asher. And three of them at that. She’s practically an expert by now.

Speaking of crap, it’s been over a week with no word from Asher. I’ve been so busy with my own problems that it slipped by me. I guess he forgot, too, because I never got a reminder from him.

How did I get so self-focused that I forgot I was going to meet his group? It isn’t like me at all.

The thought of me changing in ways that Maman could call me on sends a shudder down my spine.

No. She isn’t right about me. I know myself. I can fix this.

I text Asher as I walk to work with a sour expression.

Me: Dinner tonight? We missed the week mark. Sorry I’ve been busy at work.

After a few minutes, he replies.

Asher: Not now.

I stare at the two words with a frown.

Me: Is everything ok? Are you mad at me for forgetting?

Asher: It’s bad timing. Tera needs me right now.

Me: Ok. Be safe and kiss the baby bump for Aunt Addie. Love you.

He doesn’t reply. It doesn’t mean much. Text messages make him sound even more terse than normal. I’d try calling, but he never answers his phone. I’ll try to text again tomorrow.

Maman’s words circle around my head as I open up and get things ready for the day. It’s hard to focus on anything else.

Damon comes in with a bright grin that doesn’t fade, making my mood worse. Here’s the jealousy Maman was talking about. I’m jealous my friend had a great night.

Damon is a good guy. He deserves to be happy. I try to keep my mouth shut and swallow all the uncharitable things I want to say as he describes the date he went on last night. He doesn’t realize I know he was with Grace. I wonder why he’s not saying so. Does he not trust me to be supportive? Maybe I’ve gone too far teasing him about his philandering ways.

The bell rings, and Poe walks in. I can’t look at him. For some reason, Maman’s assurance that I won’t have a perfect match has made everything in me rebel against the thought of him. Damon immediately launches into talking to him about his date as if they’re best friends, covering up for my somber mood.

No one else comes in to distract me from the downward spiral of my thoughts. I keep it locked up tight and play with my phone. I don’t know who to talk to. My usual venting usually gets dismissed as drama, but I need to let this out.

I’m afraid to talk at the same time. What if they all think the same way? Is it better to know now, or am I torturing myself without cause?

I can’t talk to Daniella. She sides with Maman on everything, no matter how jealous she becomes of the constant attention Asher receives.

Sophia? She lives next door to Maman. Plus, she’s a gossip and a half. No way.

Suzette is the only one who lives far enough away from her, on the other side of town, and is too busy with her own life to bother with gossip. Not to mention an open book about her relationship. She’s my best bet.

I turn the phone around, intending to text her to see if it’s a good time to chat. Instead, my phone pings. I open it to the sisters' chat group with my first smile of the day. Something is going on, and all the girls need to know about it. It’s been forever since we all had a good gossiping session. Maybe this is my sign to open up.

The first text that pops up startles me, and my smile drops immediately.

Dani: Maman told Addie she doesn’t have a One.

Sophia: I know. She saw me on the porch this morning.

Suzi: What?

Dani: She’s been wanting to for a while. She’s trying to wake her up.

Suzi: Oh no. How did she take it?

They knew ? And they believe it, too? That answers the question of how they see me.

What is going on with my family?

I look at the group chat with a heavy frown. Don’t they realize that I’m in it too? It’s been a while since we used it. I can see the last text I sent was a bunch of celebration emojis about Asher finding Tera. That was months ago, and there hasn’t been anything since. It’s right there and slowly getting replaced with a flood of back-and-forth between my three sisters.

Dani: I don’t know.

Sophia: Has anyone called her?

Dani: Why would we?

Suzi: I don’t think us butting in will help.

Dani: Maybe she’ll stop dying her hair to look like us now.

Sophia: That’s harsh.

Dani: But true. You said it first Soph. You can’t tell me it doesn’t creep you out.

Sophia: A little. I’m sick of the constant invites to her tattoo stuff too.

Suzi: She tries too hard. Maybe if we all say something she’ll stop.

Dani: Yeah right. She lives on ignoring the obvious.

There’s a sudden pause in the onslaught of agonizing information. A few minutes pass with nothing.

As I watch, the texts get removed in a hurry. They must have figured out they were in the wrong chat. Do they have another one with the three of them to talk to each other without me knowing? To talk about me ?

Of course they do. Anything I’ve tried to do to fit in with them has turned out to be a joke.

Once the screen goes back to my last text, it stops. Then another comes in.

Sophia: Are you awake Addie? Wanna chat? It’s been a while.

I close out the chat quickly. After several minutes of sitting and staring at the stupid thing, no other text comes.

I guess I wasn’t supposed to tell my sisters anything because they already knew. I wonder when they had that conversation with Maman? How long have I been mooning about finding my soulmate, and no one has said a word to me? I feel like an idiot.

And my hair. They don’t know that Maman started that?

They consider me an impostor in their midst.

“Addie? Are you ok?”

I glance up at Damon as he frowns at me.

My face is burning hot, and my eyes are filled with tears I refuse to shed. He looks startled at my expression. I’m sure it’s a real shock. I’m usually upbeat or pissed off with no in between.

Instead of being normal and telling him I’m fine, I stand and blurt out, “I’m taking a walk.”

“Ok?” He says in a worried tone.

I pass by Poe as if he isn’t there and start walking. The fresh air doesn’t do a thing for me. I’m closer to crying than I’ve been in a long time. I’d like to do that in private if it happens.

That insidious itch to grab something sharp and torture myself a little more is starting up. I haven’t felt it in a while. I thought I was over that kind of thing. My mind shies away from those thoughts to pick over the things I’m learning.

I can’t believe that the family I thought I got along with is so squarely against me. I’m suddenly even more grateful that I don’t live closer. Maybe Maman hasn’t lost her mind. Maybe this is her showing me the way they all see me. A drop of the civilized act I didn’t know was an act.

“Addie,” Poe calls from behind me. My feet stop, even though I don’t want them to. I don’t turn to face him. I can hear him walking closer to me, and I can’t look up. I’m studying the sidewalk like it’s talking to me instead.

“Can I join you?”

My life got flipped around again, and I don’t have a sturdy place to land as I fall. If he joins me, I might take him down too.

“Siren,” a finger tucks under my chin and lifts my face until he can see me. The concern blazing in his eyes makes the need to cry get stronger. I blink a few times, stubbornly refusing to let them fall.

His eyes move over my face as his brows furrow. “Talk to me.”

It’s like he has a key to my mouth because I ask him the question that’s been tearing me up the most.

“Do you think being evil is hereditary?” My voice is choked up, but I manage to make the words clear.

This has become my number one fear. The thing that’s slowly been eroding me ever since last night. What if they’re right? I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if I turn out like my father.

His head tilts in confusion. “No.”

“Do you think being good is hereditary?”

My second doubt since I got let in on the fact that I’m not like them .

His fingers stroke over my cheek as he studies me. “No. I think it’s a choice everyone makes. Over and over every day.”

Now for the question of him. Maybe instead of looking for answers in the wrong places, I can ask him directly. Not too directly. I don’t want him thinking I’m as obsessed with him as I am. Something subtle.

“Do you believe in fate?” I push on, my heart starting to pound with nerves.

“I didn’t,” his eyes fall to my lips. “I’ve recently changed my mind.”

My heart does an uncomfortable flutter, and I rise to my tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on his lips. The connection soothes a lot of my scattered emotions. A completion I was missing to balance me out. My lips cling to his.

“I would love to take advantage of this, but I’m not that big of an asshole,” he mutters as his eyes close. He lets me drop to my heels and wraps his arms around me to pull me close.

I’ve never felt so comforted before. Like my pain took a quick lunch break as soon as my head hit his chest. I don’t hesitate to embrace him, my arms tighter around his middle than I mean them to be.

We stand there for a while, just holding each other. He kisses my temple and nuzzles there. One large hand strokes up and down my back in a soothing caress that melts me. My tension can’t withstand the persistent comfort, but the pain lingers underneath.

“Let’s go back. I’ll call out for lunch. Sound good?”

“Lunch?” I lean back to frown at him.

“It’s almost one,” he tells me hesitantly.

My eyes widen in surprise. I’ve been out of it the whole morning?

“Damon must want me dead by now,” I wince and drop my face back on his chest.

“He’s worried.”

I bet he is. I’m usually stomping around when I’m in a bad mood. I don’t know what I am now, but it isn’t mad. I feel defeated .

“Give me another kiss,” he whispers in my ear with a hot breath. “I don’t know when I’ll get another chance.”

I don’t hesitate to press my lips to his. I let them linger and brush several more to make sure the affection sticks.

His breath shudders out. He tilts his head to take my lips in a slow seduction. I don’t want it to stop. He feels like air. Something necessary for my survival. Now more than ever.

A trickle of desire winds through me despite my mental turmoil.

Things feel right with him. Like I can face anything with him by my side.

When he tries to pull back, I thread my fingers into his hair to keep him close, pressing more over his lips as gently as I can. He responds each time without trying for something deeper again.

“I need to go inside, siren. Before I embarrass us both.”

I draw back to see the dark flush over his cheekbones. His hair has fallen from the knot at the top of his head because of my fingers. I brush the strands behind his ear so I can see him fully. That connection is there as soon as my eyes meet his.

His wet lips twitch up into a confused smile. “What’s come over you?”

My brows furrow as I lightly touch his jaw. “I don’t think I’m as scared of this as before.”

I called Maman for answers and got heartache instead. There’s none of that here. There’s hope. A fresh beginning of something that feels so good that I selfishly don’t want to let it go.

His eyes close, and he presses his forehead to mine. “Good. We'd better get back inside now, then.”

I laugh at his assurance, feeling lighter than I have all day. Lighter than I’ve felt my whole life.

He pulls back with a fake glare, but his satisfied smile ruins the effect.

The longer the day stretches on, the more I stare at him with a hushed wonder. I’m comfortable in my own skin around him. Like I’ve known him forever. It doesn’t feel like a sudden thing, either. Just something I noticed out of the blue, out of years spent together.

Damon is giving me pointed looks every time Poe’s back is turned. He leaves early because no one has come in. The rush from the scar cover-ups has already faded. He gives me one last glare before he leaves us alone together.

The door closes behind him, and Poe doesn’t hesitate to take Damon’s chair. He’s gone beyond the manners he first used when he came in. He’s wormed his way into my inner circle without me noticing.

He slowly rolls toward me, sitting in my own chair, until our knees bump together. His hair is still in a wild mess. He hasn’t fixed it, as if he’s showing off that I had my fingers there.

My heart leaps at the simple contact. It feels like middle school flirting with an adult twist. His open look of want makes me bite my lip.

A text comes in, and my expression drops. I look at the phone warily as if the thing is about to jump into my hand and stab me in the heart again.

“May I have your phone?”

I glance at him curiously and hand it over without opening it. If he wants to be nosy, he’ll need the code to get in.

He takes it, flipping it over to take in my raccoon case with a smirk. Then he sets it on silent and puts it face down on the table beside us. Not curious about what’s been said, just taking the distraction away.

I should have done that first thing this morning. I wouldn’t be in such a mess if I had.

I’ve always tried to be available in case anyone ever needs my help. It never occurred to me to simply close that avenue off for a breather. That simple action has caused a lot of the tension I never noticed before to ease away.

“I’ve never seen you sad before,” he comments, making me wince.

Having a guy who calls you something as seductive as siren witnessing you be pathetic is more than a little embarrassing.

“We’ve known each other, what? A week?” I try to make it a joke, but he keeps his intense stare on. I sound too defensive.

“What can I do to ease it?”

I raise my brows in confused surprise. He’s not calling me out on being whiny, and he doesn’t think he can magically fix my problems. He just wants to lighten the load to make it more bearable.

That offer alone has me melting into mush for him.

“You offering to take some weight from my shoulders, cher ?” I lean forward with a fond smile.

He follows my move, bracing his elbows on his knees. He stops when our faces are an inch apart. His intensity is focused only on me, and he isn’t joking around.

“Yes. I’m right here when you need me. Even if you don’t, I’ll be here.”

My heart skips. Where has this blatantly honest man been all my life? Does he rehearse all his perfect words, or is this unscripted? Either way, he’s got me hooked. I’ll help him practice his lines any day.

“You fight dirty,” I whisper with wide eyes.

“How?” He asks, his brow lowering a little. Not mad, but ready to go there.

“By saying all your perfect words to me,” I smile, unable to hold it back anymore. “Where did you come from, Poe Richards?”

“You haven’t looked me up online?” He asks in a bitter taunt that makes my smile drop.

I wasn’t expecting this verbal bop on the nose. His expression has shifted from open to closed in an instant. The sudden change makes me wary.

“What does that mean?” I lean back, confused at the sudden twist. “Why would I do that?”

“Wait,” he grabs my chair between my knees as if he thinks I’m going to roll away from him. My quick withdrawal is something he doesn’t want.

He’s looking between my eyes with his own confusion. That closed expression has been shocked off of him. “You haven’t, have you?”

I raise a brow, suddenly wary of this man I have an unseen connection to.

“I’m sorry,” his bitterness breaks in half to reveal panic. “Old memories took over for a second. I’m sorry.”

Old memories? Has he had an ex bring up dirt from his past to torture him with?

If he’s expecting me to be the same, he’s very wrong. It’s insulting.

Before I get too mad, I think about his instant reaction and his honest freak-out over it. This is his first defense when someone gets too close to whatever happened to him, just like Asher’s freeze-out.

And it lets me know that his tragedy got put out there for strangers to judge online. I can’t imagine the agony that caused.

I cup his face in my hands, still wary but concerned now.

“Whatever is going on, it’s ok. It’s just a knee-jerk reaction. No problem, cher . I won’t go overboard and get snippy about a touchy subject unless it becomes a big problem between us. Besides, I don’t think I’ve ever looked up someone I want to date before. Now that I think about it, my teen days have a lot of incriminating evidence online. I don’t want someone seeing my pimples and braces phase any more than the next girl.”

That’s a lie. I just don’t want him to see me go from brunette to blond and ask why.

Maybe I have knee-jerk reactions, too.

He lets out a rough sigh, an unwilling smirk coming out with it. Just what I was hoping for.

Even if he looked, there would barely be any photos of me to see. I was always the one behind the camera for family pictures.

My mind tries to latch onto that sudden thought, but I force it away for more interesting news. I’m not letting all that misery taint this moment with him.

“I promise I won’t look, cher ,” I tease him and wiggle my knees to move his around, too.

“I’m a hypocrite.”

A blush blooms as horror rises. I instinctively deflect with a joke. “You’ve seen the braces phase?”

He takes in my supposed embarrassment and chuckles, smoothing a thumb over my hot cheek.

“I haven't, but now I’m tempted. You’re beautiful when you blush.”

“Don’t mock me.” I smack his knee with a pout. “I’m about to delete the evidence.”

There’s an idea I can get behind. Like shutting off the phone. Something so simple it never occurred to me.

“Don’t. I want to see everything about you. That’s what makes me a hypocrite. I’m letting my curiosity run wild and shutting yours down before you even have a chance to ask.”

I’m surprised by his blunt honesty. Laying everything out before we’re even serious. I mean, I’m serious, but I didn’t expect him to feel the same way so soon. Does he?

“Go ahead and ask. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” He sits up to brace himself like he’s facing an inquisition.

I’m not sure where to go with it. He’s confrontational instead of his usual calm lack of care. I don’t like it.

He’s not ready. He’s forcing himself to open up. That doesn’t build trust, and I want him to trust me with his heart. I need him to.

There goes the idea of deleting my history. I can’t have him offer up everything and give him nothing in return. That’s not how I want to start things off.

I’ll raccoon roll my way through this and see where we land.

“What’s your perfect first date?”

His brows lower. “I’m serious, Addie.”

My brows go up at his defensive tone. “I’m serious, too, Poe. I want to know how you like to be wooed, so I do it just right.”

He stares intently, and then his expression starts to relax into wary curiosity.

“Getting a tattoo.”

My brow rises in disbelief before I can stifle it.

“Well, step one is done and a big score for me. What next? Do you like ice cream?”

“Why?” He’s struggling, but I can tell he’s trying not to smile at the twist in the conversation.

“Because there’s a place down the street I love, and I want to watch you lick a cone. Fair warning, though. Don’t put your freezing tongue anywhere near me. Wait for it to warm back up first.”

He blinks, his smile turning sly. “Oh, really.”

“Mmhmm,” I assure him with a smug smile. “Back to being serious. What would you do if I took you out for ice cream after work?”

“Enjoy it. And wonder if I’d need a hot coffee to warm my tongue up enough for you.”

I do like a bold man. The smirk he gets after saying it has me burning up.

“What would you want next?” My knees go back to moving his.

“To walk you home,” his eyes roam over my body hungrily.

“And then?” I press, suddenly breathless. His hesitation to answer as his gaze moves over me has anticipation tensing my muscles.

“I’d be a gentleman and go home.” He sounds pissed at the news. I feel the same.

“Even if this was your fantasy?” I ask with narrowed eyes. He’s letting me down here.

“Yes.” His eyes meet mine warily. “I’m serious about this. It’s more to me.”

My heart thumps painfully all the way down my ribs.

“I’m serious about us, too,” I mutter helplessly before I rally. “No one has been to my place before. I’d like to know what you look like when you wake up in my bed. I’m touchy-feely. Can you handle that?”

“Yes,” he whispers with wide eyes. Like he can’t believe I’m matching his honesty with my own, and a good bit of seduction as a bonus. That shocked look alone is worth the wait.

“That’s good. Can I sit on your lap now? I want to see if we can break Damon’s chair.”

His mouth works without a sound coming out. The implication is blatant, but I plan to keep it innocent.

“That’s a yes,” I crow with delight that he’s not popping out his favorite word immediately. I’m taking advantage of it before the opportunity slips away.

I push his chair back so I can get up. His arms fall open for me to sit down however I want. I plop down on his thigh, twisted to the side so I can still watch his face. He’s so shocked, I want to laugh. I snuggle into his side, and the chair leans with an ominous creak.

“So soon? Damn it.”

I move to get up, and his arms clamp around me like a vice.

“No. Stay where you belong.”

My heart speeds up at his perfect words. The combination of that and the feel of his body against mine has me melting. I took advantage first. Now it’s his turn.

I lean back with a fake, shocked expression.

“Poe Richards,” I breathe in disbelief. “Did you just bark at me like a dog?”

“No,” he protests with a ton of guilt on his face. The openness of the expression charms me.

“I’ll have you know I’m a raccoon. We don’t listen to yappy dogs, cher . Even if they’re raised mean from the junkyard. You go back to quietly grumbling, and we’ll be just fine.”

He bursts into laughter so loud it makes me flinch, but I join him anyway.

“I’m happy to hear that sound,” I sigh, settling my head on his shoulder. “I’m also a little smug that I made it come out.”

“You make a lot of things come out,” he relaxes back in the chair.

His arms loosen for a hand to rub along the outside of my thigh. One day, it might be a soothing caress. Right now, it’s torture. I focus on the heat radiating from his palm as it slowly moves from my hip to my knee, only to start again.

“Are you being perverted? I’m all for it,” I smile sleepily. I didn’t get much rest last night, and he’s the best chair I’ve ever sat on, no matter how much I want to rub my body all over his.

“That would be you, trash panda,” he taunts even though his hand tightens on my thigh possessively.

“Oh, look who comes back swinging, yappy. I’m so proud.”