The Confidant

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty- Two

Asher

As soon as Addie stood up, I got out of my chair and reached for her, my feet frozen in shock.

I’ve never heard her so deadly serious before. With the changes she’s made to her appearance alone, it’s very obvious that she’s taking control of everything in her life. She’s no longer tolerating whatever treatment she’s been getting from our family while I’ve been focused on myself.

Why did she never tell me it was this bad? Before it got to this point? Addie is the last person on Earth who would cut ties with family. This is the first time I’ve heard her blame any of us for anything, in a tone that made it hard facts with proof to back it up.

Before I can take a step, my eyes move to Maman. That guilty cringe is subtle enough that I might have missed it.

This isn’t some bullshit dramatics, not that I would ever believe it was. Not with Addie. If Dani or Suzette popped off like this, I’d be furious. They’re spoiled rotten and think they got a bad hand. We all know it. But Addie? She’s always respectful, even if her teeth grind all the way through an apology.

Looking back, I can see it. While she’s been flinging herself at us all, desperate to be seen, we’ve been holding back for no good reason.

Every hug she gave me and every look of sadness she showed at my lack of enthusiasm weren’t her trying to train me to accept people touching me.

She needed them. She needed me to step up and give some affection back.

My own sister. My champion, who wants the best for me. Denied my acceptance over my lack of reaction.

I hate myself for it.

Especially when the first time I tried, she acted like I wasn’t standing right in front of her, waiting for that unconditional love. As if I did something to deserve it.

I look around at my stiff siblings, stuck to their seats with guilt. They’re watching Maman’s pale face instead of Addie’s firm walk as she leaves us all behind.

My eyes move to Tera, stunned at the things revealed tonight. I can tell by the horrified look on her face that she doesn’t know about it either. My angel is devastated that her usual well-meaning interference has backfired this time.

We thought we were ready. Our apologies were in hand with the expectation that she would be relieved that it was all a misunderstanding. That we’re prepared to break skulls over the pain she’s been through. Tera has some revenge plans in store with South and Amanda on speed dial. We thought we had all the cards.

We didn’t have shit.

The only reason I drop back into my seat is because Joseph is on it. He waves me back, his concern evident. If anyone can talk someone out of a spiral, I would put my money on him.

But is this a spiral? She was so calm for the most part that not much emotion leaked through. That is definitely not Addie’s normal. Her actions feel more like she hit rock bottom while I was oblivious and has gotten back up.

I glance at Tera again to see her eyes fill up with tears.

“I wouldn’t have made her come if I knew how bad it would be. What have I done?” she whispers in a choked voice soaked in guilt.

The pin-drop silence of the room makes it easy for everyone to hear her. It rallies Maman out of her shock as she takes in Tera’s obvious horror.

“Don’t let her get to you,” she says with her own shaky tone. “She’s being dramatic to get her way. This has nothing to do with you, sweet child.”

“Are you listening to yourself?” Suzette barks out so loudly her husbands startle. “Damn it, Maman! She just said she’s cutting ties with all of us because we’re all dicks. Did that not sink into any of your pea brains?”

“You hush up, Suzette,” Maman begins to frown. She’s already had one child turn against her. Another one won’t be tolerated.

“No way,” she flings her napkin down and crosses her arms over her chest. The mutinous pout is an expression held over from childhood when she didn’t get her way. “That’s my sister, whether any of you assholes want to admit it or not. I’m going to apologize to her.”

When she starts to stand, Maman jerks out of her seat and slaps her hands on the table.

“ Sit down! ”

My expression freezes as I take in her stance. The last time I saw Maman this angry, she took a rolling pin to the sperm donor’s head.

All because she stirred up shit that should never have had a pot to begin with.

“Maman,” I call her attention to me with a cold tone as my siblings tense up in fear. It’s odd to me how paranoid they are about her lashing out. They’ve never known physical abuse, but they’re hyper-aware. I’m starting to wonder if things in Louisiana are still safe for any of my sisters.

Maman’s eyes find me across the table from her, and her body freezes up.

She clears her throat and slowly sits back down. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s ok to be mad, but not like this,” I grit my teeth over the party line I use in class. It’s never been this hard to say it.

“Are you serious, Ash?” Suzette whispers in disbelief. Her body flops back into her chair as if she’s boneless.

Tera reaches out and grips my hand again. An anchor to keep me from drifting far away from this harsh reality.

I can’t let this stand—not even a little bit. That means I have to hurt my family to make it clear, and I don’t want to do that.

Everything inside me is twisted up. My skin is itching with nerves. A prickling across the scars like a bad omen of pain to come that I thought I had shed when I became a man.

“You’re not here for Addie, that’s clear now. So, why did you come, Maman?” I ask her in a firm tone and meet her eyes across the table.

Now that everything has been laid out in front of me, I can see how isolated Addie is. She thinks we all want nothing to do with her. Based on everyone’s reactions, it isn’t just Maman who’s been treating her like an enemy.

Maman has been separating her from us, and my sisters have been following her lead. All covered up with polite smiles at the dinner table, and comments I’m starting to see weren’t jokes.

Just like how the sperm donor singled me out. For whatever insane trigger that made me his focus. I’ll never know what it was. I don’t give a shit what it was.

But Addie has it all figured out. She had it figured out when we were kids.

That’s why she never really fought back. Yeah, she yelled and made her own point, but she always backed down and apologized. That’s why her hair was suddenly blonde at the age of thirteen. She’s the only brunette. I know she wore contacts for a long time. I was happy when she stopped.

I never thought about the fact that it stopped after she moved here. That her roots would show, and it wasn’t a big deal anymore. As long as I never mentioned it, that is.

It’s because she didn’t have Maman breathing down her neck that she isn’t a Broussard. She dropped an act that I never knew was happening. Addie got comfortable here while still hearing all of this hate on the phone.

Maman’s mouth works for a second before she mutters, “I’m moving here. To be closer to you and the baby.”

I swallow hard, my face starting to burn with heat. My only tell that I’m more furious than I’d like to be. I take a shaky breath, count to five, and let it out. I’m not used to people understanding and paying attention to all the subtle signs. My family knows them all.

Silence reigns around me, and Tera’s hand clenches hard over mine.

My eyes move to her, taking in her trembling lips and the silent tears tracing her cheeks. Then to Trevor. The asshole that stayed up all night helping Tera while she investigated what I couldn’t. Max. The sounding board that made me go outside and spar with him until I was calmer after all the revelations that came. Every single time I called Addie and got nothing, Max would drag me back outside.

She wants to take them away from me just like she did to Addie. The frosting and sprinkles subtly holding in the cake and filling.

Max and Trevor stare back at me with stony expressions. They know what it will be like if Maman stays in town. We’ve heard Suzette’s stories. Now, we’ve witnessed it in real-time without mercy. There’s no hiding Maman’s manipulations with everything that was said tonight. Especially when she says she’s moving for me and the baby. No concern for Tera or how Trevor and Max will deal with a new baby and Maman in their faces.

The sad thing is, she will never see it. She’s convinced that she’s doing the best she can for her kids. Removing any threats to our happiness and comfort through any dirty means necessary.

Even her own daughter.

Somewhere along the way, Maman lost a few of the screws keeping her mind together, and no one noticed.

It got swept under a rug, just like the sperm donor’s crazy did. And this time, it wasn’t me who suffered in silence.

It breaks a little piece of my soul to know that this happened right in front of me. I was too involved with my own issues to even see the signs. To even think of looking for them. I was so relieved to finally be free from that terror, I held on to it with both hands and never wanted to let go.

I changed, just like Addie. I forced myself to speak without an accent because his accent was so heavy. I didn’t want to be anything like him. I did it for myself, never expecting it to become a trend.

While I struggled to avoid the image of his ghost, Addie was doing the same thing in her own way. Not with her voice, but with her looks.

I have never looked at Adelaide and seen the sperm donor. Not once. All I’ve ever seen is my big sis. My reigning champ.

I didn’t think about what hits she might be taking to keep me safe. How fucking selfish is that?

They may not have been physical hits, but pain is pain. Damage is damage. It takes months for bad injuries to heal. It takes a lifetime for emotional injuries to do the same. You can’t cover up a memory with a tattoo. You’re stuck looking in the mirror and never seeing your own face the right way again.

“What do you think?” Maman asks me the question, but makes it sound like the answer is irrelevant.

“Your house is paid off,” Brad ventures in, glancing at Sophia in confusion. “Moving here would be like starting over. Especially with Joseph’s retirement coming soon.”

“It will be fine,” Maman waves him off with a fond smile.

“What will you do with the house?” Daniella asks warily.

I tilt back in my chair like I got gut-punched. Even Daniella doesn’t know about this? They’re best friends who tell each other everything. Or is that a lie, too? I’m starting to wonder about all of my family.

How broken are we? How far gone has Maman gone?

“Sell it, of course,” Maman reaches out for her hand and gushes, “You can come with us.”

“Move again?” Daniella asks, trying to mask her plaintive tone.

“I’m sure we can find more help for that,” Maman assures her. She acts as if there’s nothing wrong with what she’s planning. Not just to uproot herself, but Dani and Joseph, too. Next, she’ll have everyone moving here.

“That’s it? Screw everyone else?” Trevor’s friendly mask has slipped, with a bland, mocking tone.

“That’s the kind of behavior that doesn’t belong around a little one.” Maman’s eyes narrow on him the same way she would if she were scolding any of us. This time, I see the clear disdain she holds for him.

Unlucky for her, the feeling is mutual on Trevor’s side. And he’s learning not to keep that anger built up inside him.

“Did you discuss this with any of your family before deciding you’re going to change their entire lives?” Trevor presses on, crossing his arms over his chest.

Already force-feeding her logic.

“No, she didn’t,” Joseph strides in, looking pissed. The way he’s scowling has my shoulders tensing up. Not in fear of him but in concern. Addie isn’t with him, and he’s furious. I’m out of my seat again before I think about moving.

“Hang on, son. She’s ok,” he puts a hand up to stop me without taking his focus off the back of Maman’s head.

“I know it’s sudden,” Maman says with a sigh, turning to face him. “This will be good for us.”

“We’ll discuss that when we get home ,” he tells her in a stern voice, his anger going from white hot to freezing in seconds. “You told me we’re here to check in with Adelaide, not this. Seems we have a lot to talk about. First, I’d like to know why Adelaide isn’t allowed to call me Pa.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” Maman asks in confusion.

Daniella raises her brows at the response. She shares a disbelieving look with Sophia but stays quiet.

“I saw that,” Suzette snaps, leaning forward to point at them both. “What was that? What do you two know that we don’t?”

Joseph turns to Dani with a grim look. She folds immediately, withering in her chair like a scared teen.

“Maman didn’t like it. She told Addie she could never call you that. So you wouldn’t pick her as a favorite.”

The faint defensive mutter has the hair on the back of my neck standing up. A shiver of cold runs down my spine.

Addie never said a word about it. I thought she just wanted to give me my own space to be with him. A real connection with a father figure without her in the way. She’s the one who got me to talk to Joseph in the first place.

I remember her chattering away while I sullenly walked around the yard with her. When she shoved me into the shed where Joseph was working on his project car and slammed the door shut, I was just as bewildered as he was.

As a teen that was doing a lot of illegal shit out of some inner rebellion to continue punishing myself, a heart-to-heart with a cop wasn’t on my agenda. I was pissed at her for months after.

“And you, Dani? Did you not like it? Sophia? Hell, all of you?” Joseph spears us with his interrogation stare without mercy.

Dani and Sophia wilt in their seats, and Suzette looks completely confused. I admit I feel the same, even though my expression is frozen.

Joseph nods and rubs a hard hand over his jaw angrily. The next question is all for Maman.

“Why?”

“It sounds worse than it is,” Maman frowns at him.

“Yeah, it sounds and is fucking bad, Valerie,” Joseph grits out. “You isolated her and lied to me about her needing space because she was Stephen’s favorite, and his loss hit her hard. It looks like she needed me as much as Asher did, and no one said a thing.”

“I didn’t know,” Suzette protests in surprise. “If I did, I would have said something. She’s so strong-willed, I thought it didn’t matter to her.”

“So, all the older siblings.” Tera’s eyes narrow on them thoughtfully. Her quick mind is picking up pieces and sticking them together right along with Joseph. “Everyone old enough to remember how things were before. Suzette, you’re only a year older than Asher, right?”

“I think everyone not blood-related needs to take a little walk,” Sophia says quickly.

Brad gives her a disbelieving look.

“You don’t want me here to help you?” He asks in a soft tone of rebuke.

“Not on this one,” she winces. The look she gives him, with a not-subtle glance in my direction, shows me that he knows.

It cuts me off at the knees. I drop back in my seat, my face paling despite my struggle to remain aloof. The looks of pity and embarrassment that come from around the table say they all know.

In the back of my head, I already knew it. Subtle things at family gatherings that I tried to brush off. A lot of little tells that tried to break me.

Even if I could pretend that I hadn’t been aware of it, Maman spilled it out a few minutes ago like it wouldn’t make an impact on me. While making Addie’s scars something faked for attention.

Those lines aren’t fake. I know it. Seeing them broke me open. How many times did she sit right next to me with a smile, thinking about hurting herself? While I stared at her without any emotion, to keep myself safe.

Two different masks hiding suffering and fear.

My head turns to the empty seat where Addie was. My reigning champ isn’t here to back me up for the first time, and it’s another blow to my heart. She’s been standing on her own the whole time I’ve been leaning. Without showing me anything but love and acceptance. She never gave up on me. She never stopped fighting for me to have love and acceptance in my life.

“Do you remember the night we left?” I ask thoughtfully. I’m not loud, but my voice causes a hush to fall over the room.

Dani lets out a resigned sigh, as if my bringing it up, for the first time in my life, is something she doesn’t have patience for.

I’ve heard that harrowing drive from Dani and Sophia’s points of view several times. But I’ve never given mine or heard Addie’s. An unspoken “It happened, and we don’t need to go back over it to survive.” Maybe if I had opened up sooner, this wouldn’t have been Addie’s life.

“Maman, you were driving like a bat out of hell. Dani, you were holding Suzette while she cried because she didn’t understand what was happening. Sophia, you sat in the middle seat, huddled up and scared. You were holding Dani’s hand, getting snot all over while you cried. For once, it didn’t embarrass you. Everyone was stuck in the horror of it, along with me.”

Tera reaches out to me. Max gets up with a muttered, “Fuck this,” and sits on my other side where Addie would be. He’s closer than I’m usually comfortable with outside of sparring or class. Right now, it’s exactly what I need. Trevor stands up and takes up my back with a hand braced on Max’s shoulder. His friendly mask dropped as soon as Addie started talking, and his scowl is so deep it looks carved in his face. I’m shored up with my support while everyone else stays stuck in the quiet.

“Baby,” Maman mutters, her eyes dimming in sorrow and regret. “Don’t.”

“I was in the very back, wrapped up in blankets. Addie was right beside me, holding my hand. She didn’t cry. She was the only one not crying. The way she held onto me was like she was afraid I would disappear any second. The way she kept look out with your tire iron and watched the windows. I knew she would hurt anyone who got too close. It was everything I needed. That is why I’m so close to her. I knew that she would beat the hell out of anyone dumb enough to come after me. Just like you did, Maman.”

My eyes rove over my confused family without much expression leaking through.

“But Addie never shied away from me. Never made me feel like a freak because of my scars. Even you treated me like I was a monster, Maman.”

Her face goes red as her eyes widen.

“I never,” she breathes out in building anger.

“You did,” I assure her firmly. “Every doctor’s appointment. Every time I wore anything that didn’t cover me up, or if I wanted to cut my hair. The constant scar removal remedies you found. You couldn’t hide your disgust at the sight of me. It made me look at myself through that same filter.”

“Baby, you’re seeing it all wrong,” she snaps, her body getting tense.

“Maybe,” I offer, which earns me a scowl from Max. “But this is my point of view. You don’t get to dictate it.”

“Let him talk,” Joseph cuts off whatever she was about to say next with authority, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s right behind her like she’s an unruly suspect that’s about to break free. He has her back, but he isn’t happy with her right now.

“Addie stands strong when the rest of us crumble. Yeah, Dani does it, too. She looks out for everyone… though I guess I can’t say that anymore.” I dig at her with an icy look. Her eyes well up with tears as she ducks her head.

“You were strict, Maman. I didn’t get it as a kid, but I get it now. You smothered me with a kind of paranoia that I don’t need. It was your way of coping. My way was acting out and becoming the monster that you all saw me as. Addie. She didn’t put up with any of my shit. She’d see a mistake and rub my face in it, laughing the whole way because she’s an asshole. Then she’d pick me up and make me fix it. Before Joseph was even in the picture. It was enough for a while. When it got too much for her, or maybe she didn’t have any answers to my questions anymore, she shoved me at Joseph and told me to suck it up and stop acting like a hooligan because only dumb girls like bad boys.”

Joseph smirks, reliving the memories with me. “We were locked in that shed for three hours. You said it was an accident.”

“It was ,” I scoff back. “She forgot about the damn lock and only came out to check on us because she thought you might be dead. She had my defense all ready to go and a page out of the phone book with lawyers to call.”

“She thought you would win?” Joseph asks me with a crooked smile and a lot of disbelief.

“She always will.” My smile fades as the automatic response sinks in.

Even when she leaves me behind, it’s with the knowledge that I’ll make it. She’s never lost faith in me, even if she’s trying to cut me out.

I got knocked down, but I’m standing up for the next round.

“I don’t want you to move here, Maman,” I say firmly. “I love you. I do. You’re my savior in every sense of the word. Always will be. But this is something I need to do on my own. You’re not seeing the whole picture of my family. The people who are standing by me, no matter what goes down. They deserve respect. And Addie. How dare you, Maman? How dare any of you make my one constant as a fucked up kid think she’s not worthy of sitting here with us. Don’t call me. Don’t text. I’ll contact you if I feel like talking.”

Joseph nods while everyone else gapes at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“Angel?” I look at Tera with a gentle smile that’s reserved just for her. She returns it immediately, lighting up inside under my attention. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Ok,” she bounces in her seat. It’s a minor movement now that her belly is larger, but it’s still the same excitement.

“Before you go,” Joseph says with a determined glare at the back of Maman’s head. “Another question. How long has Adelaide been married?”

What the fuck?

Looks like my dignified escape can wait.

“What?” Tera squeals, completely distracted. She settles back in her seat like her ass just got cemented onto the chair.

I’m too shocked to move.

“She’s married ?” Dani asks in pure disbelief. “To that William guy? No!”

“She didn’t tell me his name, but he doesn’t look like that asshole,” Joseph says with false calm.

“She didn’t introduce him to you?” Suzette looks baffled. “To any of us?”

“It’s not like she gets introduced to anyone else’s significant others,” Joseph spears me and Sophia with a pointed glare.

She told me she had big news, and I never even asked her about it. I drop my face into my hands, my emotions rolling between guilt, pain, and rage.

I did this to myself. I need to get a grip on this new reality before it breaks me.

“We can fix this,” Tera turns to me, shaking my arm to get my attention. “I’ve been thinking she was wasting away and hiding. She’s just been living her life! Oh my gosh, I love her!”

“Babygirl,” Trevor mutters helplessly. He’s trying to tone down her enthusiasm before she gets her hopes and mine too far out of reach.

“She’s not backing down,” Tera insists with wide, eager eyes. “She’s cutting the dead weight so she can walk more easily!”

Max clears his throat and gives her a pointed look before turning it on me.

“Stop that,” her eyes narrow on him. “She’s Asher’s confidant. You’ll never convince me that walking away from him is easy for her. She needs clear-cut talking and to know we’ve got her back. We can do that. We can push over trash cans, too, darn it.”

Oh God. The raccoon puns are already starting.

I can’t help the grin I get over thinking it. My angel is already on the case with enough enthusiasm to cover fifty people.

She lets out a gasp that has all three of us turning to her in concern.

“Oh my gosh! Different last name! Of course! Why didn’t I think about that?”

“Your friend seemed to know him,” Joseph raises a brow as if he suspects she’s lying. Before I can bristle up, Tera leans forward with obvious eagerness.

“Which one?” She demands with narrowed eyes.

“The redhead that whines,” he replies with a grimace. “And her brother.”

Tera puffs up with narrowed eyes. “She’s a strawberry blonde, and she just wants to be coddled a little. Don’t be judgy.”

“She’s going to be a great Maman,” Suzette mutters with a weak smile.

“Thank you.” Tera gives her a mutinous glare, raising her chin. “But I think I like being called Mom better.”

The dig isn’t subtle. Her passive aggression is in full swing, and I’m here for it.

She ruins her firm disposition in seconds with a muttered apology to me about insulting my Maman and bounces out of her chair to hurry toward the door.

“Slow down,” Max pipes up in panic.

“Hurry up,” she bites back. “We have some investigating to do!”

I grin and get to my feet to follow her.