37. Brock Jones
Chapter thirty-seven
Brock Jones
I wish I could say all my stress disappeared the moment I decided to listen to those who love me and slow down. If it did, it would make it a whole lot easier.
My eyes burn from staring at my computer screen for too long. The feeling used to be motivation to push harder. Now, I just want to go home and go to sleep.
I rub my eyes, then my temples to soothe my pounding headache.
The problem with wanting to delegate parts of my business to another person is that there are a lot of steps before I can get to the delegating part.
The first being finding said person. Marie has been going through all of the applicants and setting aside the best ones.
Tonight I took some time to look through them.
After a long day, though, it’s difficult to keep my head up, much less choose my second-ever employee.
My phone buzzes and I immediately reach for it. I’ve taken to muting it when I’m working on certain tasks. The only exception to the setting are Ariel, Sutton, and my mom. My mom is likely asleep, and Sutton has not texted me back since I told her I wanted to talk, so that leaves…
Ariel: Home yet?
I sigh. Every moment with Ariel has been perfect.
I’m never as relaxed and happy as I am with her.
But as soon as we’re apart, I feel like I’m treading water again.
I’m trying to show her that she comes first, while also trying to restructure my business.
I don’t want to lose it–or her–in the process.
So that adds to my stress. And then I stress about Ariel thinking I’m stressed. It’s a great cycle. Super healthy.
Brock: Not yet. I think I might be about to call it a night though. Want to get through a few more of these resumes first.
I lay my head on my arms while I wait for her reply. My eyes close of their own accord. I take a few deep breaths and picture Ariel’s smile. All of this will be worth it. This time, I have an actual goal. More time with her and my friends and family.
The pain in my head starts to fade with each breath. My body relaxes. Distantly, I realize I’m slumped over on my desk, but I can’t bring myself to care because I’m so comfortable. A few minutes won’t hurt…
A hand runs through my hair. I hum.
“Come on, sleepyhead, let’s get you home,” a familiar voice says.
I blink my eyes open, then lift my head. My forehead sticks a little to my arm, and I have to peel it away. I groan as I raise my head. My whole body feels tight and sore.
Ariel smiles down at me. I widen my eyes as I come to my senses.
“What time is it?” I ask.
She keeps running a hand through my hair, which is not helping me focus at all.
“A little past midnight.”
My heart drops. I look up at her from my chair. “Ariel, I’m sorry. Please don’t think I’m going backward. I wasn’t trying to push so hard.”
She frames my face with her hands. “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe,” she coaches me. I draw in a few deep breaths. Her thumbs stroke my cheekbones. I focus on her gentle touch.
“I’m not mad at you. I don’t think you’re reverting to your old ways. The old Brock would have lied and said he was home. You wouldn’t be looking at resumes at all if you weren’t trying.”
“I’ve just been so worried–” I stop short. How can I tell her I’ve been worried about making her worry? Not only does that sound pathetic, but it would probably do the very thing I’m trying to avoid. My chest tightens.
Ariel straddles my legs and lowers herself into my lap so we’re face to face. I notice she’s wearing pajama shorts and a Duke sweatshirt. She should be asleep right now, not checking up on me.
“Tell me what’s going on.” She runs her palms up and down my chest. “You can be honest. I’m not going anywhere.”
I tip my head back against my chair and squeeze my eyes shut.
“You’ve trusted me this far,” she says quietly. “Give me a little more.”
“I’m anxious that I’m going to push too far and upset you or make you worry about me. But I don’t want to lose any of my clients if I can help it. This is only a short-term thing, I swear.” I blink open my eyes and stare into her crystal blue irises.
“I know all of this.” A sweet smile lifts her lips. “I told you I didn’t expect everything to change overnight. I’m here for you in the in-between.”
I settle my hands on her hips. “You aren’t upset that I fell asleep at the office again?”
She brushes back my hair. That might be my favorite feeling. I glance at her lips. Second to kissing her.
“No, because I know what you’re working toward. I might still push you sometimes, or rather, pull you away.” She smirks. “But I know you have to work extra for a period of time to make this work.”
I breathe easier at her words. “Thank you.” The words fall short of everything I want them to convey, but it’s all I can come up with in the state I’m in.
“You’re welcome. Now–”she presses a kiss to my forehead–“let’s get you to bed. I’m driving.”
While sleep sounds amazing, the thought of moving when she’s in my arms is inconceivable.
I slide a hand over the back of her neck and guide her lips to mine.
She doesn’t resist or protest. I go slow, savoring each brush, touch, and breath.
Her mouth opens at my prompting, and she lets out a soft sound as I explore.
She tastes like sweet peppermint and feels like a dream I never want to wake up from.
I ground myself in the safety of being so deeply known by her.
My fears, my desires, my flaws. I keep laying myself bare to Ariel, and she doesn’t shy away.
No, she stands her ground. Sometimes with an attitude that heats my blood, and sometimes with a tender sweetness that steals my breath.
But she doesn’t leave. I tighten my hold on her. She’s not going to leave.
Our lips part, and Ariel rests her forehead on mine. Neither of us says a word for a little while, as if we don’t want to leave this bubble we created. I know I don’t.
“You need to rest,” Ariel whispers, breaking the silence.
“I feel very rested right now,” I say and brush my lips against hers.
“You need to sleep.” She pulls her head back. Runs her thumbs gently beneath my eyes. “As handsome as you are with dark circles, I prefer you without them.”
I sigh. “Okay, okay. I’ll get some sleep.”
She gets up out of my lap, and I internally mourn the loss of her warmth.
If only we were going home together. Then I could hold her all night.
My chest aches with longing. I know it’s much too soon for that, but being with Ariel feels so natural that it makes me want to speed a little.
Plus, it’s not like I just met her. We’ve known each other for years.
“I’ll drive you home, then I can pick you up in the morning.”
I stand up and stretch. “No, I’ll get a rideshare in the morning. I’ll probably be up earlier than you.”
She shoots me a stern look. “You’re sleeping a full eight hours, at minimum . Then I’m coming to get you and we’ll have breakfast together before you start back on work.”
“You’re very bossy tonight.” I grin and pull her to me again. “I like it.”
She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s holding back a smile. “Let’s go. Some of us actually like sleep.”
I chuckle and follow her out of my office.
She wraps an arm around my waist and I throw one around her shoulder.
We lean into each other as we get onto the elevator.
I look at our warped reflection in the mirrored walls.
It’s an image I never would have pictured for myself, but now that I have it, I don’t plan on losing it. Ever.