Chapter 21
PAIGE
“Get a grip, Ashley. You don’t see anyone else in this office moping around because one of their kids has a sore throat.” Greg was being more of an asshole than usual. He’d come into our office just as Ashley was telling me she feared she’d sent her boy back to kindergarten too early.
I opened my mouth to argue with him, but Ashley silenced me with a pleading look.
“Paige, I want a word with you. I need you on top of the water project.”
“The water project?” I blinked, trying to keep calm. That was one of our key projects this year, and as such, Greg was directly responsible for the funding. Why was he adding it to my tasks?
“Yes. Problem?”
I knew better than to argue. He was my boss after all, but I wasn’t looking forward to having yet another project on top of the ones I was currently leading.
I asked him to send me all the info on it, and while I read through the reports, I kept eyeing the clock, because I was meeting Mom in the evening for a round of late-night shopping.
I wasn’t a fan of in-person shopping. I’d been addicted to ordering online ever since I got my first credit card, and the addiction had only gotten worse when speedy delivery became trendy.
However, on this lovely Thursday evening, I put on my big girl panties and went to meet Mom at the mall.
She preferred to shop old school, and she needed an outfit for her and Dad’s upcoming fortieth wedding anniversary.
Elsa and Miranda were joining us too, so we were making a girls’ evening out of it.
Mom arrived first.
“Let’s grab a smoothie while we wait for the girls. We promised we wouldn’t start without them,” I suggested.
Mom nodded, and we each grabbed a strawberry-pineapple combo.
I was busy studying Mom, trying to visualize an outfit for her, when I realized my mother was studying me right back.
She had a knowing smile that made me cower in fear.
That smile usually came with life advice, whether I asked for it or, more often, not.
“How is that detective of yours?” Mom finally asked.
“He’s good. We’re good.” I was choosing my words very carefully.
Any excessive display of enthusiasm on my part, and my mother would be choosing baby names and bustling into my apartment unannounced, hoping to run into Will.
True, it had happened only once, five years ago, but I wasn’t about to risk it happening again.
I was saving the gushing for when my sisters arrived and Mom was out of earshot, because I had a lot to gush about.
Will had not been bragging about knowing his stuff when it came to construction.
He had stopped by the inn over the past two weeks, and a couple of times he even lent a hand to the handyman.
And I? Well… I poured myself a glass of wine and enjoyed the view.
I liked our casual get-togethers at the inn after work.
We could get to know one another without the pressure of preparing for a date.
“When are you going to introduce him to us?”
“It’s early days, Mom.”
Mom waved her hand as if the tiny detail didn’t matter. “I knew your dad was the one on our second date.”
I stared at her. “You did?”
“Oh yes. He immediately charmed me.” Mom slurped from her smoothie until the cup was empty.
“Every couple is different, but when the spark is there, it’s there, and you know it.
Some don’t want to admit it, but they know it.
” Mom got out a mirror from her bag, inspecting her hair.
“My roots are showing a bit. I should make myself an appointment.”
“I remember the night you got that white strand of hair,” I found myself saying.
Mom smiled sadly. “That was a tough night. There were many tough ones. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. I tried to keep it together—”
“What are you talking about? You did keep it together. You’re a strong woman, Momma.”
“I wasn’t strong enough, though. I still let grief overpower me from time to time.” Her smile turned even sadder, and I wished I hadn’t brought it up. “I’m sorry.”
“Momma, you have nothing to be sorry about. You’re a strong woman, and I look up to you. I always have. We all have. I’m sorry I brought this up.”
Mom was quiet for a moment, but I knew her wheels were spinning.
“I know why you did. I think you’re a bit afraid of love.”
I almost choked. “What? Why would you say that?”
“Just a mother’s observation. Maybe seeing me during that rough time scared you.
Made you think that truly loving someone gave them power over your happiness, which is true in some respects.
But I will say one thing: if given the chance, I would make the same exact choices.
Marry your dad, support his decision to enlist. That it was tough doesn’t mean we weren’t happy, and as a mother, I can only hope you will find that sort of love one day.
Actually, not only find it but hold on to it. Fight for it.”
I was speechless for a few seconds, before finally saying, “I missed our talks when I was away.”
“So did I.”
“You have three other kids.”
Mom winked. “Only one Paige.”
We chatted about our plans for the evening until my sisters arrived. Then we unleashed ourselves on the mall.
We started to bicker almost immediately because, as usual, we couldn’t agree on a single thing. This, too, I had missed.
“Wow, it’s weird being out shopping without my kid,” Miranda said. “It’s like I can do everything ten times faster.”
While we stormed the stores, I replayed the conversation with Mom in my mind.
Was I afraid to love? I’d never thought about it like that.
I’d always had an active dating life and even two longer relationships.
I hadn’t been head over heels in love with either of those boyfriends, but I’d supposed that was because they were simply not meant to be for the long term. But Mom gave me food for thought.
“So, give us the dirty details on Will,” Miranda said when Mom disappeared into the first changing room.
We were at a respectable distance, but I whispered it all anyway.
I couldn’t stop bragging about my hunky detective and his delectable ways.
He managed to cheer me up even though my project’s funding wasn’t progressing as well as I’d hoped, which caused me to start every working day with a heavy heart.
I wasn’t sure how he felt, though. He wasn’t a man of many words, and part of me wondered if Will was even doing it consciously, or he simply didn’t know how to open up, let me closer.
Fifteen clothing shops and five shoe shops later, Mom had an outfit. We’d totally knocked it out of the park: a dark green dress that was tailored on her slim torso and flowed in an A-line to her ankles. Golden sandals with thin straps and a tiny matching purse complemented the outfit.
“Anyone up for buying lingerie?” Elsa asked as we left the shoe store.
To my astonishment, Mom blushed and said, “Umm… I’d… I’d like to see what they have. Maybe try something different… for the occasion.”
We all grabbed another smoothie, relaxing our feet for a few minutes before heading into the lingerie shop. It boasted a large selection, even stocking a few items that were on the raunchy end of the spectrum.
“What is that for?” Mom sputtered. “It doesn’t even have a crotch.”
Miranda threw me a panicked glance. Oh, boy. If this conversation continued, I’d need to slip some wine into my smoothie. Or vodka.
We led Mom into the section of the store where every piece of lingerie had a crotch.
Being surrounded by all that lace got me thinking. I’d already spotted a few items that were screaming “Open your wallet. Right now.” I imagined Will’s expression when he saw me in some of them. I wanted something classy, but sexy. I was going to buy something to knock off Will’s socks. Or boxers.