Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chase's boots echoed against the linoleum as he navigated the grocery aisles, list in hand. It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out mission—grab what he needed and head back to the seclusion of the ranch.
As he turned into the baking aisle, the shrill cries of children pierced the mundane symphony of shopping carts and checkout beeps. Chase cringed, recognizing the cry. He grabbed the package of cornbread mix and slid it into his handheld basket.
At the end of the aisle, he turned toward the produce section. There, amidst a toppled display of oranges, was Holly, her face flushed with the effort of wrangling Freddi and Eddie. The twins, mirroring each other in both appearance and temper, were in full meltdown mode, strapped into the double child cart.
She reached for Eddie, pulling him out and bouncing him to her chest.
"Hey, Holly," he called out, his voice tentative over the chaos as he drew closer.
"Chase!" Holly's relief was palpable, even though her hands never stopped moving, attempting to soothe Eddie while Freddi continued her protest against the straps.
"Uh, need a hand?" He stooped awkwardly beside his niece, offering a hesitant smile to Freddi, who responded between sobs, her hands reaching for him.
"Please," Holly breathed out, passing Eddie to him with an apologetic look.
Chase took the child and dropped his basket, suddenly feeling like he was holding a ticking time bomb rather than a toddler. He bounced Eddie gently, trying to remember how they did it in those family movies he'd seen, but the child's wails only escalated.
"Shh, buddy, come on now," he muttered under his breath, his discomfort growing.
From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of two older ladies watching them from the end of the aisle, their expressions a mixture of disapproval and curiosity. The taller one leaned toward her companion, her whisper loud enough for Chase to overhear.
"Look at that poor woman. And what's he doing? Some people just don't have a knack for children."
The words stung, the barb landing squarely in the center of Chase's already fragile confidence. He could handle a rough crowd at a bar, maneuver through the treacherous waters of his past, but this felt like uncharted territory, especially following Jewel's rejection.
"Isn't that the one just out of prison?" the shorter one added, her eyes narrowing as she peered at Chase. "Imagine him trying to play father."
Did he have a fucking sign on his forehead saying convict? Damn.
He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, the judgmental gaze of the women reinforcing every doubt he ever had about fatherhood. Did they see the same inadequacy reflected in his attempts that he felt in his bones?
Holly, oblivious to the exchange, finally calmed Freddi down, holding and bouncing her tightly. He focused on his sister-in-law.
She didn't need this; she didn't need him making it worse by telling those ladies to shove it up their ass. Chase shifted Eddie in his arms, trying to block out the whispers and concentrate on being there for his sister-in-law, struggling to drown out the internal echo of his own fears.
He mimicked her movements, and Holly glanced at him with a worried frown. "I'm sorry, they just hate being strapped in the grocery store. Strapped down anywhere really, even their car seats make doing the simplest tasks difficult."
"How can I help?" He continued bouncing and swaying gently as Holly smiled.
"You already are. I appreciate your taking Eddie. This is easier with Landry, but with him gone to Nashville for two days, I'm on my own, and we're out of diapers."
Eddie leaned back, his tears drying as he patted Chase's jaw and babbled dada dada. A pang shot through his chest at the sound, the little brown-haired cherub in his arms. The kid smiled, and it was like looking at Parker when he'd been a baby.
He'd missed this part of Destini's life, had never considered having kids of his own someday. It might be nice though, to be loved and to love someone unconditionally.
He already loved all his nieces and nephews, but to have a little one relying solely on him for all his or her needs was a daunting idea. He was still trying to figure out how to adult and definitely didn't need to add a baby to the mix. Hell, he was already stressing on how to deal with a teenager who could speak up on her needs.
"I need to grab groceries. Care to walk with me?" Holly asked, shifting a now sniffling Freddi onto her hip.
Holly looked exhausted with the faint dark circles under her eyes. Landry had mentioned the trip at poker night, but Chase hadn't thought of how that would affect Holly. Guilt licked his spine and made him think through options on how to help.
Chase followed suit with Eddie, then bent to pick up his basket and put it in her cart. "Why don't you take them to the playground, and I'll grab the groceries? Is that your stroller by the door?" It had to be hers, as he recognized it from the Independence Day town celebration.
Holly glanced at the stroller and nodded, frowning. "I can't do that. We have to get the shopping done."
Chase picked up her list from where it had fallen into the cart. "Is this what you need? Yeah, I can grab these. Take the kids and go relax."
She bit her lip before Freddi tugged on her blond braid. "Are you sure?"
He nodded and kissed Eddie's forehead, making him giggle. "Yep, I would offer to bring the things to the house, but I'm on Gladys and she can't carry all this in the saddlebags."
Holly chuckled and turned to the stroller. "If you text when it's time to check out, I can come inside to pay."
They made the arrangements, and once Holly had Freddi settled back in the stroller, she took Eddie from him. His arms felt lonely without the boy, but he ignored it as he grabbed her cart, his basket still inside it.
"Thank you, Chase," she whispered, barely audible over the babies' babbling. "I just?—"
"Hey, no worries," he interjected with a reassuring nod. "This is what family's for." He waved as she stepped through the door, the babies waving back.
Turning back towards the store, Chase's throat tightened at the thought of those judgmental eyes that might still be watching. Shaking it off, he tipped his chin up and grabbed her crumpled list, baby slobber making his nose wrinkle. He straightened out the paper, scanning the remaining items: diapers, baby wipes, juice boxes…
As he navigated the aisles, Chase calculated servings and brand options. Zarrel's voice echoed in his head, and he began Googling how many diapers a one-year-old went through a day. He did the math to make sure she had enough supplies to last well after Landry's return home in a few days. The sheer volume of necessities piled into the cart was a shocking contrast to his solitary existence.
"Feeding an army?" the cashier joked as she scanned item after item.
"Something like that," he replied with a wry smile, not wanting to explain the chaos that led to this moment.
"Kids are expensive, huh?" she added sympathetically, hitting the total button with a flourish.
The numbers flashed up, and Chase winced involuntarily. He pulled out his wallet and swiped his card. This wasn't just about money—it was life, sustenance for a family, something far beyond his own simple needs, and he had more than enough for their family and his own.
Not that he had one yet.
"Tell me about it," he finally said, taking the receipt with a sense of gravity. It was one thing to face his past, another entirely to face the cost of a future—one that included more than just him.
"Just wait until they hit those teenager years," she chuckled.
A picture of Destini flashed in his mind, and he grinned. He was looking forward to getting to know her, whether she was a handful of a teenager or not.
He wanted a family, even if the idea made him nervous and he damn well wasn't ready for one. At least he didn't have to worry about money and being able to feed a family. He just had to find someone to love who'd be willing to take a chance on a convict.
His mind immediately went to Jewel, but he wasn't sure she had ever seen him as a long-term plan, despite how they'd talked that Christmas she'd broken up with Hunter. Her actions had confirmed his suspicions, that she'd use any excuse to stay away from him.
"Need help?" the cashier offered, eyeing the bags.
"No, I've got it," Chase insisted, his arms accustomed to heavier burdens than these. He texted Holly to let her know to meet him near her car in the parking lot, but as he lifted the bags back into the cart, the weight was more than physical; it was the weight of responsibility, of stepping into a role he'd never imagined for himself.
He didn't mind the weight at being reminded that life didn't revolve around him or his problems.
Chase pushed the cart through the automatic doors. The checkout lady wished him good luck with a knowing smile that lingered in his mind—a small token of shared understanding in the relentless current of parenthood.
Outside, the sun was dipping closer to the horizon, casting long shadows across the parking lot. He spotted Holly's car and headed for it, spying her pushing the stroller as she walked toward him with a smile on her face.
She unlocked the car and popped the trunk with her keys.
"You were supposed to let me come in and pay for it," she said, shaking her head.
He shrugged and opened the trunk. "You already had your hands full. It's the least I could do."
He glanced down as she passed on her way to the back door to see the twins lying in the stroller, both fast asleep.
Their earlier storm of tears and tantrums seemed like a distant memory now. He carefully loaded the groceries into the trunk, mindful not to make a sound that might stir the sleeping twins, while Holly gently loaded them each into their car seats.
"Thanks, Chase," Holly whispered after she started the car, her eyes reflecting gratitude and the exhaustion that comes from wrangling two spirited souls through a public spectacle.
"No problem," he said, closing the trunk. "I put the receipt in a bag. Do you want me to stay with you or swing by tomorrow to sit with the kids while you go do stuff? Do you have any more errands?"
She shook her head and leaned against the car. "No, I'm good. I'll take the kids with me to girls' night tomorrow like normal. They like the studio. Then Landry will be home the next day."
"Alright, well just text me if you want some help. I'm happy to escape the ranch anytime you need."
She chuckled and crossed her arms. "Your mom driving you crazy?"
He grinned and shifted his hands into his pockets. "Always, but more so since the accident and surgery."
Holly nodded. "I'm glad Jewel was there to help."
He swallowed hard and nodded. Jewel had been there with Hunter, but she'd sought solace at the cabin with him. Did that mean there was hope for them yet? Or had it just been a trauma response?
She continued. "If you see her, remind her of yoga night. Do you want a ride home?"
He jerked his head to the side of the store. "I'm good. I rode Gladys into town."
"Wanted more time away from the ranch and your mom, did ya?" Holly laughed and opened her car door. "I don't blame you at all. Enjoy your day out on the town."
"You too, have a great night, and drive safe," he replied, offering her a supportive nod. She gave him a tired smile and shut the door behind her, pulling away and leaving him alone with his thoughts in the late afternoon light.
With a deep breath, he turned back to the grocery store, steeling himself for his own modest shopping. He needed enough to get through a week at the cabin—no frills, just necessities. He'd left his own basket inside, knowing that Holly would want to know her own total and would probably pay him back whether he wanted her to or not.
As he re-entered the store, the same pair of elderly ladies emerged, their conversation halting as they eyed him. Their noses lifted ever so slightly, disdain etched into the tight lines around their mouths. They skirted past without a word, their silence louder than any critique. But he didn't need to hear their thoughts; their judgment was clear as glass.
Chase shook off the sting of their silent condemnation and focused on his own list: bread, milk, eggs, some vegetables, and meat. He wanted to try a new recipe he'd found online.
His jaw set with determination as he carried his basket down the aisles, picking out the simple ingredients that would sustain him in his self-imposed isolation.
"Self-reliance," he murmured to himself, a mantra against the tide of doubt that tried to seep in with every dismissive glance. He was more than his past, more than the whispers and wary looks. He had to be.
Otherwise, how would anyone ever love him? Jewel might not, but maybe someday, someone else would.
Chase's fingers tightened around the cold metal of the basket's handle as their whispers echoed in his mind, their disdainful glances like daggers to his already vulnerable sense of self. He maneuvered through the aisles with mechanical precision, each item he placed in his basket a tiny triumph against the gnawing doubt that clung to him like a shadow.
Can you really take care of a child? The question boomed in his head, its volume amplified by the imagined voices of the people around him. Destini's face flashed before his eyes—the not so little girl who might be his, the embodiment of a future he was both desperate for and terrified of.
"Convict doesn't mean incapable," he muttered under his breath, a feeble attempt at self-assurance. But the label clung to him, a brand marking him as less-than in the eyes of many, a constant reminder of the life he had once led and the barriers it erected between him and the world he now yearned to belong to.
At the checkout, the rhythmic beep of the scanner was a metronome to his racing thoughts. Chase paid for his groceries, avoiding eye contact with the new cashier, her benign curiosity just another reminder of how far he felt from normalcy. He quickly bagged his items, feeling the weight of each can and box as if they were bricks in the walls he'd built around himself.
Outside, the late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the parking lot as he approached his horse, an animal that never judged him, that accepted him as he was. He carefully placed the groceries into the saddle bags over the horse's back, securing his modest provisions, his hands working deftly even as his mind wandered down darker trails.
Mounting, he took one last look at the storefront, the memory of the old ladies' scorn lingering like an aftertaste. With a gentle nudge, he coaxed the horse into a steady trot, the rhythm of her hooves on the pavement a soothing counterpoint to his troubled thoughts.
The fact remained that he was a convict, but their opinion wasn't the one that mattered to him. Destini was his priority right now, at least until they found out who her dad was.
Would she be better off with Hunter? The question haunted him, pulling at the edges of his desire for family, for normalcy. The thought of Destini calling on Hunter, relying on him instead of Chase made his chest tighten, a sharp pang amidst the dull ache of inadequacy.
But deep down, beneath the layers of self-doubt and societal judgment, there was a kernel of hope, a flicker of longing for what could be. As the town disappeared behind him and the open road stretched out ahead, Chase allowed himself to imagine a life where he was more than his past, where he was worthy of love, of family.
At the center of that dream was Destini—a girl he'd never met—and Jewel—the girl he'd never forgotten but had to let go.