Chapter Three
Amy
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Mitch blew out a long, steadying breath and smiled.
“You look fucking amazing. Daddy is very pleased with you.” He removed his Ray-Bans and poked them into the collar of his top.
“I’m glad that you’re pleased.” I handed him the key to my apartment, and he slipped it into his jeans pocket.
“You should be, you did very well.” He shoved the door open and indicated for me to step outside. “And I think you’ll be wearing those socks a lot.”
I giggled, enjoying my victory. The outfit had taken ages to plan and had included an emergency trip to a local shop that sold socks and ribbons. “Pushed your big boy buttons, huh?”
“Something like that.” He took my hand in his.
His skin was warm, his fingers huge, and the firm grip made me feel safe; as though he was a raft I could cling to out at sea. “So where are we going?”
“There’s an Italian near here I like.”
“Ah, good, I love Italian food. I didn’t go to any restaurants growing up, but now I occasionally go out with work colleagues to eat, and Italian is my favorite.”
“What are your colleagues like?” He steered us left at the end of the street.
“Like the family I never had, or…” I paused.
“At least they are becoming that way. It’s taken me a long time, you know, to build a career, relationships, and trust, too, I suppose.
I never really felt like I could trust anyone on the outside before I met Becca, and now some colleagues who have become friends, I trust them, too. ”
“That’s understandable after what you went through as a kid.”
I nibbled on my bottom lip.
“What?” he asked, glancing down at me.
“I guess I’m…”
“You can tell me.” He kept on walking. “I want you to.”
I stared straight ahead. “I guess I’m trusting you much sooner than I normally would, you know, coming out like this, no handbag, phone, just trusting you entirely to look after me.”
“You can trust me. I want to look after you.”
I pulled in a deep breath.
“And I won’t let you down.” He stopped and turned to me, cupped my cheek in his free hand. “Be a good girl and I’ll give you everything you missed out on, everything you need now as a beautiful, strong woman.”
His eyes flashed with determination and sincerity. A warm feeling grew in my belly. A spark of hope. Because I needed a man I could rely on and connect with. Perhaps Mitch was the one. The first one. Every other had hot-footed it out of my apartment at breakneck speed as soon as the deed was done.
I broke the eye contact and pointed in the direction of the restaurant. “My office is not far from here.”
“Sports marketing, right?”
“Yes, promoting big matches, tournaments, and games. Organizing merchandise, that kind of thing. I like it.”
“Why? Why do you like it?”
“I guess it’s creative, fast-paced, fun, people enjoy sport. It’s not like I’m promoting flea repellent or toe fungus cures.” I laughed. “Big games are a highlight of many people’s calendars.”
He nodded. “I see what you mean.”
“Do you enjoy your job?” I asked.
He paused at the entrance to Carlos. “Enjoy, no, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find it rewarding.
” He pressed his hand over his chest. “I have a strong sense of justice, I truly, deep in my soul believe that criminals should pay appropriately for their crimes. Being a police officer gives me the tools to make that happen.”
“I would agree. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”
“Exactly.” His voice was gruff. “The scales of justice must always be balanced.” He opened the door, his thick biceps straining the sleeves of his t-shirt. “In you go.”
I did as he’d asked, and we were soon seated at the back of the restaurant in a cozy booth. The scents of oregano and garlic filled the warm air, and a gentle hum of chatter accompanied soft music.
The waitress came over with two laminated orange menus. She gave one to Mitch and handed one to me.
“No, no,” he said and waved it away. “We only need one menu. I’ll be ordering for her.”
I opened my mouth to object but when I saw the challenging sparkle in his eyes I kept quiet. This was part of the game, him being my daddy and choosing my meal.
Okay, I could work with that.
“Of course.” The waitress pasted on a professional smile. “And to drink?”
“I’ll take a draft lager and she’ll have a tall glass of cold milk.”
The waitress glanced at me.
I swallowed, then nodded. “Thank you.”
“Coming right up.” She disappeared.
Mitch leaned forward. “Little girls need their milk to get big and strong,” he said.
“What if I don’t like milk?”
“Doesn’t matter, you have to do what Daddy says.” He reached forward and touched his finger to the tip of my nose. “You want to be a good girl and get treats, don’t you?”
“What kind of treats?”
“You’ll find out if you drink your milk up and eat all your dinner.” He opened the menu and studied it.
I sat quietly, waiting for my milk, waiting to see what he’d order for me.
I didn’t have to wait long.
The waitress appeared and set down our drinks, then Mitch ordered himself a lasagna and me a mushroom risotto.
I was grateful that he’d remembered I was vegetarian.
“So this cult,” he said when we were alone again. “The Way Forward, right?”
I nodded and took a sip of milk. It coated my top lip, and I retrieved a drip with my tongue, licking from left to right slowly.
His eyes narrowed slightly, a steamy haze flashing over them as he watched me.
A sense of power bloomed. I might be his little girl, but he wanted me, he wanted to fuck me, bad, I could tell.
And it had been a while for him…so he’d said.
I pressed my thighs together, a tremble setting up in my pussy. Mitch was different to my usual one-night stands. He was a man, a real man, with bulging muscles and a darkness that called to me for reasons I couldn’t explain.
Fucking him would be different.
I cleared my throat. “What do you want to know about The Way Forward?”
“They’re still going, aren’t they?”
I nodded and curled my hand around my glass of cold milk. “As far as I know. I don’t exactly stay in touch or seek them out in any way.”
“And growing in size?”
I shrugged. “I guess so, as that’s their aim.”
“And the leader, Nigel Strand, did he live in the…the…”
Ah, so he had searched for it online. Not that I had for a while. Out of sight, out of mind. That suited me.
I pulled in a breath and nodded. “Commune of Light, that’s what he called the camp, and yes, he did live there.
” I suppressed a shudder. “The man had brainwashed my entire family, everyone I knew growing up adored him, treated him like the messiah, a prophet come to save the world. He preached that he had a direct line to God and was passing on His message. Really what he was doing was preying on the weak, and then when they were in his grip…he ate them, or at least their souls.” I grimaced at the memory of his fire and venom sermons—memories with sharp claws.
“Go on.” He sat back and folded his arms.
“He liked to give sermons, frantic, excitable sermons that riled up the crowd into hating the outside world and at the same time thanking the Lord they’d been chosen.
He got into their blood like a fever. His words taught hearts to beat to a new tempo, and caused previously logical brains to rewire with short circuits and delusions.
” I frowned. “Myself included for a long time. He’d convinced us all that creating lots of babies, children, a new generation ready for the second coming was the way forward.
That these children would have the skills and the unshakable faith to offer God’s son a refuge upon his arrival on Earth and prevent him from being hauled onto a cross for a second time.
There was even a room set up in preparation for him, as though he was just going to knock on the gate and walk in one day.
” I shook my head. “It sounds crazy, but I believed it.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” he said. “You’d been told that was the case all of your life by adults.
Children believe what they’re told, it’s a fact.
There was nothing crazy about you or your beliefs, it was the grown-ups who had fallen for Strand’s ideology, delusions, whatever you want to call them, who are responsible. They didn’t tell you the truth.”
“I guess.” I sat back as my food arrived. “Thank you.”
Mitch picked up his knife and fork and stabbed into his lasagna. A sliver of steam rose in front of his face. “And they didn’t give you a normal childhood from what you’ve told me about dormitories and shared clothes.”
“I don’t know what normal is, but I know it’s not that.
” I picked at my creamy risotto; it was flavored with tarragon and teeming with oyster mushrooms. “And I know it’s not normal to let children bring up children.
” I looked straight at him. “As soon as I was old enough, I was changing nappies and carrying toddlers on my hip because the adults were off populating the camp! We were literally left to our own devices. Just waiting to be old enough to have our own children.”
“No, that’s not normal.” His jaw tensed, and his shoulder lifted.
I noticed his right hand tighten on his knife.
“It’s a kind of child abuse,” he said.
I nodded and carried on eating. My eyes prickled, but I blinked and willed myself not to cry.
“Bastards,” he muttered with a sneer.
His sudden flash of anger was electric. I could practically feel it fizzing off him. I took another sip of milk. He did the same with his lager then blew out a breath and shoved in a mouthful of food. When he’d swallowed, some of the tension had gone from his shoulders. “What’s your twin called?”
“Jeremy,” I said, my heart squeezing that he’d remembered. “He’s two minutes older than me.”
“And your only sibling?”
“I have several half siblings, probably more than I know about. Sex was a mainstay of The Way Forward. People had to be creating, reproducing, women were supposed to be pregnant all the time. It was the only way to prepare for the future we’d been privileged enough to be part of and know was coming. ”
Mitch nodded and carried on eating, as though mulling over what I’d said.
“I could well have ten children by now if I’d stayed.” I shrugged, but it wasn’t a dismissive gesture, it was acceptance. That’s likely what would have happened. Thank goodness it hadn’t. “I’m glad I left when I did.”
“You were eighteen, you said, when you left.” He paused and tipped his head, studied me. “Did something happen to make you decide enough was enough?”
He’d hit the nail on the head, but I wasn’t ready to go down that sordid route with him, at least not yet.
“So do you have children?” I asked.
“Er, yes, two. Boys. Nathan and Harry. Growing up fast, they’ll be teenagers before I know it. There’s just over a year between them.”
“Do they look like you?” I asked. I wasn’t surprised he had children. I’d put Mitch five years older than me, and he was too damn handsome not to have a past.
“Do they look like me?” He downturned his mouth. “I guess, a bit; they’re dark-haired, dark-eyed. Nathan, he’s the eldest, is catching up with me height-wise. His mother is always complaining about buying him the next-size-up shoes.” He paused. “You want to know about his mother?”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
He was quiet for a moment, then, “I want you to trust me, so, yeah, I’ll tell you.
” He paused, swallowed. “We were married for nearly ten years, had the boys, bought a nice house in the suburbs, and then she, Sarah, had an affair. Traded me in for some asshole who works in tech and she gave him my life to live.”
“Your life?”
A muscle twitched under his left eye. “He lives in my house with my kids, sleeps in my bed. That’s stealing a life, right?”
I reached out and set my hand on his. “I’m sorry, that sucks.”
“It does, it did. I gotta get on with life, though, make the best of the situation. At least she hasn’t taken the kids to Australia, that’s where he’s from, so I still get to see them.
I blocked that in court. Horrible time, she made me out to be the guilty party, told me I was a shit dad for not letting them go live in the sunshine on the beach. ”
“He might be moved in but he can’t replace you, you’re their father.”
“I didn’t have kids to not be with them, you know. Doesn’t feel right.”
I nodded slowly. Having kids to not be with them was exactly how The Way Forward operated.
“How is your food?” he asked.
“It was a great choice.” I continued eating. “So where do you live if he’s in your house? Did you buy another place?”
“Kind of, I live with the twins, Cillian and Finn, it’s a big house. I’ve got a bed there.”
“Oh, I see.”
“But I work shifts, on the beat, you know, so my sleeping habits can be a bit crazy.”
“You work on the beat,” I repeated and took a sip of milk. It went surprisingly well with the food.
“You’re wondering why I’m not further up the ranks?” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“That’s none of my business.” Feeling full and the food practically finished, I set down my fork.
He ate his last few mouthfuls then did the same. “I’m not very good at following rules that don’t suit me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Another time.” He tipped his head and gave a lopsided smile. “Let’s go.”
“Now?” His sudden change of mood surprised me.
“Yeah, it’s getting late for little girls to be out.”
I raised my eyebrows at him.
He grinned and signaled to the waitress for the check. I didn’t offer to pay half, how could I? I had no purse, no phone, no way of contributing to the meal.
“Come on, baby,” he said, reaching forward and running his hand down first my left plait, and then my right. “Daddy will walk you home.”