Chapter 35
Brides by the Sea, St Aidan, Cornwall
Celebrity status and dancing in the rain
Sunday
‘Okay, kiddies, for one day only please … forget the fighting and give me happy faces!’
If Tia is laying down the ground rules as we step out onto the mews the next Sunday, it’s only because we haven’t had a proper smile from Lando in weeks.
I’m one of his biggest critics, but if someone offered to swap out the short-tempered misery we’re stuck with now and bring back the easy-going edition, I’d agree in a heartbeat.
What’s worse, every time I look at his permanent scowl, I know his glares and glowers are my fault; the more he’s around me, the more I’m picking up how much he hates me for everything I’ve done.
I thought it would pass if I waited long enough, but it’s so bad now he won’t even meet my eye.
As I step out onto the cobbles, swish my snowy skirts free of my western boots and readjust my slipping Bardot neckline so my boobs aren’t entirely on show, his eyes are firmly fixed a foot above my head.
But with the couple of hours we’ve got ahead of us, I’ve got more to worry about than him.
However busy the town was for the spring tides festival, the summer extravaganza is way more popular, and with the sky finally clearing after a couple of wet days, the streets are already bursting with visitors.
Lando’s got a long list of places for us to visit in the pocket of his and Oliver’s favourite dark suit.
Between us, I could do with him wearing anything other than that one, because his moody expression doubles the smoulder effect and kicks the flutters in my chest into overdrive.
But realistically, with summer well underway, this whole fiasco can’t go on much longer.
Tia’s got a Polaroid camera as well as her phone and our job for the day is to take as many instant photos as we can at the participating businesses around town, and just to add to the fun, Dale, Zara, Nemmie and Angel are parading along with us.
Officially this is to showcase Sera’s lovely flower print bridesmaids’ dresses, which are a cascade of frills, but we all know that Thom’s broken jaw and facial injuries are taking forever to heal, and Tia is trying to make it up to the girls for their disappointment at the postponed wedding.
As for me, I’ve been dreading today ever since Jess and Lando first dreamed up their extended scheme, and adding the kids to the mix makes it next level.
I know I’m on dangerous ground, but they’re clutching their baskets of Weddings at Windflowers luggage labels with shells attached, darting around the street, determined to do a great job of pushing the publicity into the hands of anyone who’s interested and probably lots of people who aren’t, and I can’t deny them the enjoyment.
All I can hope is that with so many people around, Nemmie will simply disappear and become part of the crowd for Lando.
We’re barely three steps out of the shop when two women rush up to us. The first one stares.
‘Are you the bride and groom in the competition?’
I’m opening my mouth to tell her we’re not, but Lando gets in first. ‘We are, yes.’
The second woman comes to joins her. ‘And is it true the prize is a beach hut wedding?’
Lando ignores my agonised stare and carries on. ‘If you’re married already, you can have a beach hut picnic instead.’
The first woman nods. ‘Or a vow renewal would work.’
The second woman pulls her arm. ‘In that case we’d better get searching for clues!’
We watch them rushing off down the mews, then I turn to Lando. ‘Are you planning to let me in on the secret?’
Lando squirms. ‘We’ve supercharged our business scheme.’
My eyebrows go high. ‘We?’
Lando tilts his head to one side. ‘I’ve put codes on all our pictures around town, and Jess is paying for the prize for the person who collects the most.’
If anyone other than Lando had come up with this, I’d be over the moon at the brilliance. As it is, I pull a face. ‘So you’re doing a treasure hunt, where people compete for a beach hut wedding?’
Lando nods. ‘They’re giving out flyers on the streets to explain. It’ll raise the profile of Weddings at Windflowers, Brides by the Sea and local businesses, all at the same time.’
Dale joins in with a grin. ‘So it’s a win-win!’
Nemmie purses her lips. ‘No, it’s actually a win-win-win!’
Lando’s frown lines deepen. ‘I haven’t personally counted the wins, but I know the Chamber of Commerce couldn’t be happier.’
Tia’s nodding enthusiastically. ‘Visitors love an incentive.’ She peers along the mews. ‘They also love celebrities. It looks like someone else has recognised you.’
This time it’s a crowd of retirement-age people, and after they’ve given Lando a quick glance they spend a long time admiring the lightness of my dress and reminiscing about when cowboy boots with summer dresses were on-trend first time around.
And as they wander off, a new group steps into their place.
So much for thinking we’d whiz round town taking polaroids and be home in time for lunch; an hour later we still haven’t reached Crusty Cobs bakery.
When I glance at Lando, he’s scowling at the clouds. ‘If we want to stay dry, we need to speed this up.’
Nemmie’s smile is fixed. ‘BBC News South West said sunshine all day.’
Tia coughs. ‘I thought we agreed not to argue?’
Nemmie sniffs. ‘It’s not an argument; I’m stating facts!’
Lando shrugs. ‘The ice creams are on you if we have to take cover.’
Tia waves her camera. ‘And when we finally get to the bakery, Brides by the Sea is buying the cakes.’
‘Anything except strawberry tarts, please.’
I’m remembering the first time we were here in our wedding clothes, but all my fears that day were completely justified; on balance it’s turned out way worse than anything I imagined then.
Tia sighs. ‘I hope no one is too hungry. There’s another group heading across.’
This time it’s a guy who makes the first approach. ‘You’re all over B we aren’t engaged.’
Lando cuts in. ‘She hasn’t said “yes” yet.’
I want to speak for myself here. ‘It’s unlikely I ever would.’
One of the women murmurs into my ear. ‘You make a lovely couple, whatever your intentions.’
The other woman pats my arm. ‘When he does persuade you, make sure he gets you a rock, my lovely!’
As they wander on, Nemmie snorts. ‘Sustainably sourced and unusual settings are way more important than size.’
I do a double-take. ‘Since when do you know about engagement rings?’
She shrugs. ‘Morning Live was all about weddings while we were waiting for the weather. We thought we’d better listen, seeing we’re in the business now.’
There are times with Nemmie when all you can do is nod, but at least I have the satisfaction of seeing Lando’s jaw dropping too.
I shrug away from Lando’s hand, despairing at myself for ever letting it feel like a caress. ‘Great. Shall we get to the bakery before the wait gets too long?’
Lando gives me a look. ‘With thousands of extra people in town, good luck with that.’
Three hours later I’m still shaking my head at Tia and Lando, and as we stomp along the beach we’re flagging. We’re nowhere near halfway down Lando’s list, but we picked up Martha at the Sardine Club, and we’ve made a team decision to hit the Surf Shack for giant muffins.
I watch Martha lolloping along with the kids, then look down to make sure I’m still holding my hem high enough to be out of the way of Angel’s sandy paws, and give a loud sigh. ‘Why do so many people ask if we’re married? I’ve answered the question at least five thousand times!’
Lando’s still scowling. ‘You’re wearing a wedding dress. It’s a natural assumption.’
The beach isn’t too crowded, so I let the full force of my frustration go into my reply. ‘I’d never walk round St Aidan in a wedding dress if we weren’t doing publicity. I’d never have put on a wedding dress at all if I hadn’t been desperate for money.’
For a moment the corner of Lando’s lips waver. ‘No one has passed us without stopping to chat. As a publicity stunt, it’s even better than the day you jumped in the harbour.’
Tia’s laughing. ‘In all the years I’ve worked for Jess, the shop has never been so talked about as it has since you joined the team.’ She gives me a nudge. ‘You’re doing a great job, Maevey, even if you aren’t enjoying it.’
Lando scowls at the sky, then scowls back at us again. ‘Have you brought any of your vast umbrella collection along today?’
I roll my eyes. ‘There’s no time to do staged shots with brollies, Lando.’
He scowls harder. ‘I’m not thinking of photos. I hate to contradict Team BBC, but from the colour of the sea, there’s a cloudburst coming.’
When I glance up, the sky is almost black. ‘Shit, Lando, why didn’t you say?’
He holds out his palm. ‘It’s starting now.’ He wrinkles his nose. ‘It’s going to be the kind of downpour that drenches you in thirty seconds flat then eases.’
I shiver as a drop hits my bare shoulder. ‘Halfway between home and the Surf Shack, we’ll be soaked whichever way we run.’ I see some upturned wooden boats along the dune path and call to the kids. ‘Come on, everyone, let’s shelter under these.’