Chapter 38
38
When I met up with Seamus later in the bar, it sounded like he’d had a particularly testing evening too.
‘Shall we just go to bed?’ he asked. Much as I thought it might be awkward once we got up to our room, I just wanted to see the back of tonight. He ordered a bottle of red wine and the waiter handed him two large glasses, which he carried upstairs, while in my hands I held my shoes, my dignity leaving at the same time that my feet started to ache like hell. My head too.
‘Honestly, Jo. I thought I was being interviewed for a job. In fact, I don’t think anyone has asked me that many questions, ever .’
‘I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Seamus. It must have been awful for you. I should never have asked you to come.’
He smiled. ‘I’m glad you did.’ He kicked off his own shoes at that point and it felt strangely intimate. ‘And it certainly sounds like I came off better out of the two of us.’
‘It was horrendous. I couldn’t believe it when Lucy asked Claudia what was the most romantic thing that Michael had ever done for her. When she repeated the exact same thing that he did for our twentieth wedding anniversary, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.’
‘Of all the people in the world, I would never have put you and Michael together, you know.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, he’s loud and brash and proper in your face. And you’re… well… lovely.’
‘He wasn’t always like that. And thank you.’
‘When did he change?’
‘We had nothing, you know, to start with. When we first got together, we both worked really hard to build the business from scratch. He worked all hours and then the first few weeks after I’d had Lucy, I worked around her. The same when Melissa came too. My mum was great and would have the girls while we both worked. Then when he landed a massive contract, and the money started rolling in, he changed dramatically and insisted I gave up and became a stay-at-home mum.’
‘And what about Claudia? Where does she fit into everything?’
I sighed loudly and sat in one of the large armchairs in our suite, tucking my feet under me, while he went into the bathroom, returning with a glass of water which he handed to me. I gulped it down, suddenly very thirsty. I put the glass down on the table next to the chair and then Seamus poured us both a glass of wine. Already, it felt like the pressure from my head was starting to lift. Maybe it was because I was finally feeling relaxed for the first time in hours, despite knowing that we were going to have to deal with the sleeping arrangements. We sat and chatted, and I finally started to feel the tension release in my shoulders. The first time I’d really relaxed all day.
‘We took Claudia on about ten years later. I’d known her for years as she used to work at our doctor’s surgery and I’d always thought she was lovely. Always bright, smiley and eager to help and she just seemed to want the company to succeed as much as we did. We all got on like a house on fire. She was married to Simon at the time and the four of us used to get together a lot outside of work. We became what I thought of as really good friends. The girls loved her. They clearly still do. But obviously Michael loved her the most.’
I felt a huge sigh leave my body.
‘How long had they been seeing each other? Do you know?’
‘I know when things changed. I presume it was around then.’
‘But you don’t know for sure.’
‘I didn’t want to know exactly when it was, to be honest. I couldn’t bear to think about the two of them laughing about me behind my back. When I found out, she tried to tell me it wasn’t her fault but, hey, she started seeing a married man. She was hardly innocent in it all, was she? I was gutted. Not only did I lose my husband, I also lost a really good friend. She was the person I turned to when Michael started to change. She told me I was imagining it; that he’d never do anything to break up our happy home. How silly of me to confide in the person who was shagging him behind my back.’
‘It’s easily done, Jo. We never really know the people who are closest to us, do we? But it was his responsibility to say no. He was the one who was married to you.’
I could feel my eyelids starting to droop. It had been a big day and it was starting to take its toll on me.
‘Shall I sleep in the chair?’ Seamus asked.
‘Look, we’re two grown adults. I’m sure we can share a bed, can’t we? We’re friends, right?’ The slightest raise of an eyebrow caught my eye. ‘And to be honest, even if Bradley Cooper was next to me in bed tonight, I’m too bloody knackered to do anything about it anyway. I don’t mind if you don’t?’
‘OK, I’ll let you use the bathroom first.’
When I came back, I quickly slid under the covers as we swapped and he went in to brush his teeth and wash up. It did feel kind of intimate but nice at the same time. I’d been alone for a couple of years now, and I really missed company. Just having someone to do nothing with. Just knowing that even if you weren’t talking to each other every minute, that there was someone else in your space. It was… nice.
I turned off the light and when he came out I pretended to be asleep. It just seemed the easiest thing to do in the circumstances and would save any awkward good-nighting. Although I did hear him whisper, ‘Good night, Jo Jenkins,’ just before I heard his gentle snores.