Chapter 51
51
Mum stayed for the next few days. We sat up talking till the early hours. Sometimes Tessa joined us and sometimes she didn’t. There were times when we visited the house on the hill and my mothers chatted together, Mum filling Tessa in on my childhood years. I wasn’t sure if it was helping Tessa or making her feel worse. All I knew is that she’d aged noticeably since that discovery visit. It was nice to learn that my middle name, Riddle, was a family name that had been passed down the generations. Tessa told me about her parents and grandparents and I learned things about my blood family.
‘Are you sure you’re not staying for the carnival?’ I asked my mother.
‘It’s a lovely idea, darling, but I won’t. I’ve missed Barry more than I thought I would. I’m going to go back and be with him and let you do what you need to do.’
As I waved her off, she finished her hug with the wisest of words.
‘Don’t dwell on what happened in the past. It serves no purpose. Look forward to what’s in front of you now. You’ve now met the woman who gave her most precious gift to me. I can never be sad about that. If she hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t have had what we have.’ She smiled and her eyes were brimming with tears. ‘I will always be grateful to Tessa Riddle Wylie. And you too have now been given a gift. You can either choose to be kind and try to understand why she did what she did. You can spend time with this incredible lady and be the shining star in the final chapter of her life. Or you can shut her out and be bitter for the rest of yours. You can introduce the girls to a new member of the family that they might love. Only you can choose what to do.’
‘But it seems like I’m being disloyal to you, Mum.’
‘That’s nonsense and I would never feel like that. You’ve been mine for over fifty years, Jo. And you will always be mine. But once, many moons ago, for a very short time, you belonged to Tessa and I think you owe it to both of you to form a relationship. It’s not as if you are losing this mother. There’s not a cat in hell’s chance of that. Look on it as you gaining another one. A new member of your family. You can’t change the past but you can move forward now and make some wonderful new memories. You’ve been sad and lonely since you and Michael parted and that’s made me sad too. But you had to find yourself. I can see that you are happy here and now you have a chance to start a new chapter. Grasp it with both hands, darling. You only get one chance at life. So make it count. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. But it’s Tessa’s turn now to be your mother.’
This woman who stood before me might not have given me life, but she had given me everything else. She had opened her heart to me and claimed me as hers and I couldn’t love her more. She had always made me feel like I was enough. She taught me everything I knew about how to be a mum. And even in my darkest moments, she had been my beacon of light. I had her to thank for everything .
She pulled me to her chest. I knew now that this was exactly what I wanted to do. I would do what I could to be in Tessa’s life as much as she wanted me to.
‘I love you, Mum.’
‘To the moon and back, my darling. Always.’