Continued, The Correspondent
Sybil Van Antwerp
Dear Sybil,
It’s been a while since I have heard from you, either letter or phone, and what communication we have exchanged has been brief. I know you’re very busy with Harry in the house and the mess you have with the garden club, but my life is small and boring! I miss our correspondence. Is everything OK?
Paul’s back surgery is scheduled for the first week of June, and as much as I am dreading it, I wish it would just go ahead and get here so we could move on.
The recovery will be difficult, but in the long term, theoretically, it will ease some of his ongoing discomfort.
With that on the horizon, and the physical intensity of caring for him, I’ve been debating more and more the nursing home for Lars.
My right shoulder is weakening from lifting Paul, and I just went to see a doctor who thinks I need to have shots for the pain in my back.
Anyway, I went and took a tour of Greenmont Village and had a meeting with the director, who seems very smart and caring.
She can’t believe I haven’t acted sooner, but everyone says that.
If I was outside the situation I’m sure I would be saying of course, put him in a home, but it feels different from inside the situation.
It is so strange now that we are here (Lars and me), now that it is us, with all the memories we have.
From the outside I’m sure he looks like a brainless slug, but he is my partner.
Putting him in a home feels like surrendering. Like I’ll be giving all that up.
In other news, you’ll be happy to know I’ve been cleaning out my closet and drawers, going through and taking out things I’ll never wear again, and giving them to Goodwill.
As a treat to myself, I drove an hour to Nordstrom last week when I had the nurse here for most of the day.
A really nice sales gal helped me pick two pairs of comfortable slacks, a pair of jeans, one new dress, and some cute sneakers meant to be worn casually, not for exercise. It was fun.
Did you ever hear back from the letter you wrote to your relation in Scotland? And how are things going with Mick? I am reading The World Below by Sue Miller. What are you reading?
Love,
Rosalie