PS
I ’ve often heard people say that life is full of surprises, but until this summer I was the kind of person who preferred things to be easy and consistent. Calm and uneventful. Then one day in May, Pumpkin and I drove into St Aidan, and since then nothing has ever been quiet again.
For the rest of the summer Miles and I have ‘his place’ and ‘her place’, and move freely between the Net Loft and the cottage spending nights in both places. Then, as winter draws in and the wind howls through the lobster pots on the quayside, we spend more time in the cottage, which is sheltered from the westerly gales. When the Boathouse Cottage conveyance finally goes through in December, we have a proper housewarming with all our friends clustered around the long deal table, which also quietly marks that Miles and I are properly living together too.
When Tate and Scarlett come back in autumn, they have a shortlist of properties to visit. They settle on a faded Customs House at the back of St Aidan harbour. Tate and Aleksy are busy making plans for that, and it definitely won’t be faded when they’ve finished with it.
With Scarlett and I she had always been in charge; our whole life she was the strong one, while I was happy to lean on her. The way things panned out this summer flipped that relationship and shook up those lifelong habits, and we’re both better for that.
Scarlett and Tate’s astonishing news is that she is expecting a baby in June, which is going to mean big changes for them, but with their newly shaped partnership I’m sure they’ll cope. And Miles and I can’t wait to do the ‘uncle and aunty’ thing.
And what about Betsy & Milo? With Miles, it was never going to stand still. We now have Betsy & Milo postcards, and cards with all Milo’s croissant flavours. By the end of summer we’ve added two more shops, three beach huts and a handful of those vintage vans he’d promised. Our mission statement always begins with me saying ‘Small is amazing…’ and Miles’s inevitably adds ‘…and bigger is even better.’ We’ll always find something to argue about, but we’ll find our own way forward that’s comfortable for both of us.
At Malcolm and Aunty Jo’s suggestion, I got in touch with all the local gardening clubs in the area, so in future when there are gluts of produce, we can sell that on from our shops to the visitors. Miles has set up the new business to include an element of profit sharing for all the helpers. For now he’s agreed to stay in the southwest, but everyone knows he’s looking further away too, and we’re all excited about that.
Sometimes the way to slay your dragons is to talk about them and that’s certainly proved true for me. Two years on, bringing my worst night ever out into the open has helped me face up to it. As long as I kept it buried, the shame, and the guilt, and the fear it could happen again defined my life. Sharing has helped me to understand that it wasn’t my fault, and Miles has given me confidence and the will to try again.
Miles has also come clean about the cottage. He said he could easily have stayed somewhere else when I first turned up, but he liked me too much– and as things have turned out, I’m grateful he made that call. We couldn’t be any more in love. Below the whoosh of excitement there’s a solid and reassuring certainty that this is going to work for us.
As for how much the world has opened up for me since Pumpkin and I arrived in St Aidan– a wise woman once said, life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage. Don’t get the wrong impression– I haven’t grown up entirely. I still dance on the beach, and I’ll always enjoy looking like a jumble sale, but I’m strong enough to make my own choices and have the confidence to know that I’m good at what I do. If this is what being brave does, I’m very happy I tried it.