4. Lira
4
LIRA
“ Y ou’re safe with me forevermore, sprite.”
His lips brushed my earlobe, and I shuddered. I breathed in his amber and musk scent and grew dizzy.
“If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of eternity making up for what I put you through, but even then, it won’t be enough.” His voice broke at the end.
This had to be a dream because Tavish would never speak like this to me. It was impossible. I shook my head, realizing that someone had to be using illusion magic on me. I leaned back, trying to come to my senses before I wound up with a broken heart.
Straightening, he let out a shaky breath and grimaced. “I don’t blame you for not wanting anything to do with me. I kidnapped you to kill you, and I’ve put you at risk too many times to keep count. It took losing you for me to finally come to my senses.”
I lifted a hand, and my heart squeezed. “Stop, please . Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
“I understand I may be too late, but I blasting need to say it anyway.” He clutched his chest. “I know how risky this is for me, of all people, to say, but Lira, I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you. I don’t care if my apology causes me to owe you something substantial because I already plan to make things right between us for the rest of my existence.”
A lump formed in my throat. I’d never dreamed he’d say anything like that. My heart fluttered with the hope that this was real.
I needed to wake up, so I pinched the inside of my wrist. A sharp pain stabbed me, but nothing changed.
“If waking each day to grovel at your feet will help you forgive me one day, I’ll gladly do it.” Tavish’s hand tugged at his thin gray tunic. “If pulling back all the darkness so the sun can rise and melt the snow from the only sanctuary my people and I know, I’ll make it happen. Just tell me what I have to do to keep you in my life. If it’s within my power, I’ll do it without question, and if it isn’t, I’ll find a blasting way to make it happen. At the end of the night, I’ll give up whatever it takes as long as you stay with me.”
The world tilted underneath me, and I wrapped my arms around my waist to anchor myself to this strange, new reality. “Tavish, I—”
“Don’t say anything. Not yet.” Tavish bit his bottom lip and took a hesitant step closer. “This might change how you feel, but I need to be honest.”
The hair on the nape of my neck rose in warning, so I nodded, afraid to speak.
His eyes lightened to silver. “I wish I could say I regret kidnapping you, but I can’t.”
I started, not expecting that.
“If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you now, and that’s unfathomable. I’m a selfish, entitled moron who regrets everything that happened to you, but I can’t find the remorse you deserve for bringing you here and setting off this entire chain of events.” He hung his head like the guilt weighed on him. “Which gives you every right to hate me and every reason to get far, far away from me.” His eyes glistened as he stared into my eyes, warning me away. “If you want to leave, you’re free to go. I won’t make you stay. I just hope you don’t for my own selfish sake.”
The little bit of a wall I’d constructed around my heart shattered. His giving me the freedom to decide whether to stay or leave made things desperately clear, even though my head screamed no . “I want to stay, but I fear what might happen to us.” The simple truth couldn’t be ignored. Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn’t. Not now… not with him saying these things.
He winced. “You should want to get far away from me. In fact, I should make you.” A tear trailed down his cheek as his irises turned stormy. “For your own safety, you should leave now before I change my mind and refuse to let you go. I’m struggling—and knowing it’s best for you to leave is the only thing forcing me to say the words. If you don’t leave and change your mind later, I won’t be strong enough not to hunt you down. Do you understand?”
Why did the sound of him hunting me down thrill me? I was tempted to try it just for the thrill of seeing his desperation to retrieve me, but even considering doing that made me feel guilty.
At the end of the day, I wanted him to know I felt the same way. “I understand, and I’m not going anywhere.” I wiped the stray tear from his face. “You’re right, though. You’re the reason for everything I’ve gone through since you brought me here, so why the sudden change?”
“I struggled with your situation the entire time, but you were Seelie, and it was easier to hang on to that hatred. I felt a pull toward you, but I thought that maybe if you went away, I wouldn’t struggle anymore.” He flinched. “But the more time we spent together, the stronger the tug became—until I had to open my eyes.”
He huffed but didn’t pull away. “You met every challenge that came your way head-on, even when the odds weren’t in your favor. You showed empathy, strength, and a resilience I never knew existed, and the way it pained you so much to kill one of us despite how we treated you forced me to open my eyes and actually see you . I hate that it took me so damn long.” His jaw clenched.
And that was what I needed to know. “This moment right here, with you opening up to me and baring your soul, made it all worth it. If you feel for me half of what I do for you, there’s no question where I need to be.”
He caught my hand, and the buzz from his touch warmed my body even more. He whispered, “Some of my people will still want to kill you. You’ll still be at risk here, and your parents will eventually come for you. My guards may not be able to fight them off, so you’ll have to make a stand. That’s too much to ask.”
“It’s not.” I stepped into him, our chests touching. “I don’t even remember them, Tavish. My parents are the ones on Earth, the ones Finnian is fetching. They raised me when my biological ones passed me off without a second thought. Standing up to them won’t be hard because they’re strangers.”
“They won’t be for much longer.” His free hand touched the top of my sparkly sea-green wing. “Your magic is returning, which means your memories will be restored at any moment.”
The way he touched my wings almost had a groan slipping out. I’d never felt anything so intimate before, but I’d had wings for only a few days. That had to be why. Still, need burrowed deep in my stomach.
“I’ve given you no reason to want to stay here. It’s merely the fated-mate bond forcing you to speak this way.” He scanned my face, taking in every crevice.
“Fated mate?” Finnian had alluded to some sort of connection, but he hadn’t named it. Is that what he’d meant?
He sighed. “Right. You don’t remember. It’s when a soul is halved and placed in two separate people. They’re only whole when together, and it’s Fate’s way of marking the perfect person for you. It’s rare and precious, and the magical markings indicate what we are to each other and also make it clear to everyone around us. It causes the buzzing between us and the urge to be next to one another. The connection makes us want to be together, even when it’s bad for us.”
The explanation made so much sense, and somehow, it made me even more certain. “I could say the same for you, but I know that’s not true.” I cupped his face, lifting his head so he stared into my eyes. “You took care of me in your own way, even when you didn’t want to. You saved me from a guard who wanted to disfigure me when you didn’t have to. You had me stay in your bedroom instead of a horrid prison cell that smelled of bodily fluids while giving me a comfortable place to sleep, clean clothes, and a bathtub.”
“I made you sleep on the floor, and you were attacked in the tub.” Tavish’s jaw clenched. “If only I could kill my cousin—”
“You did what you could with the debt you owe him.” I placed a finger over his lips, wanting him to allow me to finish. He had to stop beating himself up so much. “You clothed me, fed me, and allowed Nightbane to stay with me to protect me. You kept me safe, even from your own people.”
He winced. “I should’ve done it sooner. You never should have suffered through the gauntlet.”
“I believe the gauntlet is the reason my power has started coming back.” Until I’d been forced to protect myself and get through perilous situations, I hadn’t shown any changes. “And if you hadn’t kidnapped me, we wouldn’t be having this moment. It sucks that it took all that for us to get here, but if we can move forward stronger together, then everything will have been worth it.”
“Don’t say that. What you went through was unbear—”
I was tired of him talking, so I kissed him.
He froze but didn’t pull away, so I brushed my tongue over his lips, needing to taste him.
“Blast,” he groaned, opening his mouth to allow me entrance.
I slid my arms around his neck, my sides aching a tad, but not enough to make me stop. The taste of what I could only describe as velvet night and frosty air made me want more. My fingers twined into his hair as I pressed my body to his.
We’d kissed like this only once before, and it’d been cut short when he noticed the magical tattoo on my chest. This time, nothing would stop us, even if I had to take the lead.
He wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me flush against him. Then he dropped his hands and tried to step back quickly.
I let him go as a sharp ache shot through my heart. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” He adjusted the large bulge in his pants. “That’s the problem.”
“How is that a problem?” Suddenly, I felt like I was back in English class where all these strict rules existed, but there was a list of crazy exceptions you had to memorize.
He lifted both hands and ran them through his hair. “Because you’re injured, and kissing me like that will ruin my self-control. I can’t risk hurting you again.”
“You won’t hurt me.” I fisted his tunic and pulled him toward me. My body was uncomfortably warm, and there was one thing that would fix that issue.
As soon as he was back within reach, I kissed him. He groaned, pressing his hardness into my stomach. I gasped as need soared through me.
He stopped moving. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, but if you keep stopping, I’m going to hurt you .” I pivoted on my heels, dragging him with me, and shoved him onto the bed.
Nightbane’s lime eyes glowed, and he snarled at Tavish.
“Come on, boy.” I released Tavish’s shirt and clicked my tongue, wanting the beast to obey me.
Thankfully, he did, and I led him into the bathroom. If he was going to threaten Tavish when he already had reservations about him touching me, Nightbane needed to stay in a separate room until it was safe for him to be with us.
When I opened the door and told him to go in, the beast tilted his head like he didn’t understand. Somehow, he realized I had no intention of going in there with him. “It’s okay. It won’t be for long.”
He scoffed but went into the bathroom, allowing me to shut the door behind him.
When I turned back to the bed, I found Tavish where I’d pushed him, but his face was lined with worry.
Walking back to him, I lifted both hands. “If you don’t want to kiss or…” I trailed off, feeling my face flame. I wasn’t even sure what to say because I didn’t want to sound like I expected more than he was willing to do. I didn’t want to pressure him.
“Sprite, there is nothing more I want than to be buried inside you. But you’re hurt, and I lost you once already. I can’t risk it.”
His words lit a fire inside me, and it had nothing to do with embarrassment. He wanted me, though I doubted it compared to how much I needed him. “The pain is barely a discomfort now.”
He sat up and motioned for me to come to him.
My legs moved of their own accord. When I reached him, I waited for him to give in, but instead, he lifted the left side of my shirt and inspected my injury.
His jaw dropped. “That isn’t possible.”
I glanced down to find that the gaping wound from earlier was now a mere scab. “I… I don’t know how that healed so fast. But I told you I’m not hurting like before.” I had my own questions about that, but there was something way more pressing on my mind.
Emboldened by his words and his shock, I wrapped my arms around his neck and straddled him.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he murmured. “And I’ll cherish each moment of dying.” Then he kissed me, and this time, it was different.
No restraint.
Instead of moving his hand from my side, he reached up and cupped my breast as he devoured my mouth. Each stroke of his tongue had me needing more, and I rolled my hips against him.
His fingers gently rolled over my nipple, causing me to arch. I’d never been this turned on before, and I felt like I might implode if we didn’t get there faster. I reached down and yanked the hem of my gown over my head, baring my body to him. He was worried that I didn’t want this—that I didn’t want him—and I wanted to make it very clear that I did.
Now both his hands cupped my breasts as he leaned forward and kissed my neck and then moved downward. He wrapped one arm around my body and paused, whispering, “I’m going to lower you onto your back.”
I nodded and folded my wings in, and he moved me slowly and gently, making sure not to grasp my side. My blonde hair spilled over the pillow as he kneeled between my legs, lazily scanning me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Lira.”
His inability to lie and the adoration on his face had my chest expanding uncomfortably. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I settled on something I could actually get out. “Show me.”
He smirked, looking more handsome than ever before. “Gladly.”
Sliding his body onto mine, he lowered his head and took my nipple into his mouth. One hand slid between my legs, spreading my lips apart. His tongue flicked my nipple as a finger slid inside me, and his thumb hit the most sensitive spot I’d ever experienced.
I moaned, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, needing his body closer. I slid my other hand into his pants and held his dick. I wasn’t sure what to do, but Eiric had talked to me about some of the things her lovers liked, so I began to stroke him.
“Blast,” he groaned, and I froze.
“Am I doing it wrong?” I hated to ask. He’d probably been with many women, and I didn’t know what I was doing. “I’m sorry. I’ve never—” I tried to take my hand away, but he caught it with the hand that had been supporting his weight.
“You’re doing it perfectly.” He lifted his head, staring into my eyes. “Have you never done this with anyone before?”
I shook my head. “So if I’m not—”
“Thank gods.” He let out a shaky breath. “I haven’t either, and I’m only doing what I think you might enjoy.”
The pressure that had been almost suffocating me vanished. “You’re doing great. So you’re a virgin too?”
His face turned a faint purple. “That was why Finnian teased me about finishing fast. I’ve never felt any sort of attraction to anyone… until you.”
“I was the same way.” My cheeks hurt from my huge smile.
“Then we can share this with each other.” His smile was genuine and free, like our burdens had left temporarily, and the air between us sizzled.
His mouth crashed over mine as he continued to finger me and rub my clit while I stroked him to the point of becoming dizzy. Suddenly, the friction intensified, and pleasure exploded inside me. My breathing turned ragged as his fingers quickened, driving my body further over the edge.
When I came down, somehow, I wasn’t satiated. I wanted more. He had control, and now it was my turn.
I pushed him down, grabbed the waist of his pants, then removed them. The need started pulsing between my legs again as I ogled him. He sat up and scooted to lean against the wooden headboard of the bed, removing his shirt and tossing it aside as I crawled over him.
My head spun with need , and I positioned myself over him. Before I could lower myself, he cupped my face.
“If we do this, you’re mine forever. No Seelie or dragon can come between us. I won’t allow it.” His gaze leveled with mine. “Any man who touches you dies. Do you understand?”
Instead of answering him with words, I kissed him and bore down on him. His tip slipped inside me, and he hissed against my lips. The reaction made me feel sexy and in control, so I slid down farther and whispered, “Kill them all.” If that was what it took for me to be his, I’d gladly accept the risk.
His lips turned up, and he gripped my waist below my injury. After he slid in another inch, we paused, allowing my body to adjust to his.
Our mouths collided as his hand caressed my breast.
Inch by inch, we connected slowly. When I thought I couldn’t fit any more, my body somehow proved me wrong. Then he filled me, making me feel more complete than I knew I could feel.
I rocked my hips gently, and he leaned back and groaned. His eyes fluttered, and I wanted to make him feel like that even more.
Each time I moved, it hurt less, and it wasn’t long before only pleasure coursed through my body.
He lowered his head to my breast, his tongue working my body the same way I worked his, and we began moving in sync. Each movement became faster, and sweat slicked our bodies. I sank my nails into his back near the base of his wings, causing his body to shudder.
“Lira, I can’t wait much longer,” he rasped.
The need in his voice had the pressure intensifying in me once more.
I moaned as ecstasy flooded me, and Tavish leaned back and shook with his own release. Something in my chest snapped open, and emotions that weren’t only mine filled me whole.
Gods, I love this woman, Tavish said, but it was inside my head, and his orgasm melded with mine.
My head spun as we continued to chase our release, and I replied, I love you, Tavish .
His eyes opened, locking with mine, as the pleasure somehow intensified even more. Something settled inside my chest, warming a place I’d never noticed before. His love mixed with mine, and I realized we both felt the same.
There wasn’t a question anymore.
We stilled, but I didn’t move, wanting him to still fill my body. The thought of us not being connected bothered me. I felt closer to him than I’d ever felt with anyone else.
“You’re stuck with me forever, sprite.” He grinned, raising his left hand to show me the tattoo had continued down his hand and around his ring finger.
I raised mine, finding the same marks, though I hadn’t felt the burn like before. “I could say the same for you, nightmare .” Without the nightmare, the two of us wouldn’t be here.
He smirked and pulled me into his arms, anchoring me to his chest, but my head turned fuzzy, like something was off.
Tavish’s voice popped into my head. Lira, what’s wrong?
Before I could answer him, something yanked me from the present and tossed me into oblivion.