27. 26
The following day, I mounted the last step up to Davian’s attic room. I caught my breath at the top of the stairs. A useless exercise. I don’t think I had breathed steadily since that night in Theolis’ gardens.
All of this was dangerous. But here I was, knocking on his door.
My heart pounded as I rapped twice. “Davian,” I called. “Are you in there?”
An assenting grunt was his first reply. Then a shuffling. “Come in.”
I took a couple more breaths to attempt to calm my nerves, and stepped inside.
Again, Davian’s room swept me up in its organised chaos. The overlapping rugs and walls filled with paintings and drawings seemed entirely at odds with his plain bed, and yet it worked.
The bed was where I found him. I saw skin immediately, his trousers ending at his hips and then the expanse of his back. He was lying chest down on his bed, his arms crossed as his head rested looking at me.
“Oh.” I turned, facing the back wall. “You’re not dressed.”
Davian laughed, and it was his real laugh. The carefree one I adored. “You’re very perceptive.”
He didn’t shuffle, or attempt to stand up, so I turned back around.
He didn’t want to hide from me, and I was certainly not prudish about the male form.
At least, I hadn’t been, before every touch from this man set me alight.
I was dizzy enough around him fully clothed. But I was an Ekrissian, damn it.
I tried to look at him with the cool gaze that Talia might adopt. It crumbled, instantly. In my reaction to just skin, I hadn’t looked at the skin itself. Now, I could see it. “Gods,” I murmured, racing to the edge of the bed in an instant. “What happened?”
Davian stretched out, looking entirely at ease. But with every movement, I found fresh welts across his back. There were a dozen of the raised red lines criss-crossing his back.
He just looked at me, a lazy smile adorning his gorgeous face. No mask, not in bed. In another time, in another situation, I would have admired him fully. But instead I only felt the protective horror of knowing someone had hurt him.
“Camriel,” he said.
I covered my mouth in horror. “He hit you?” I asked. “How dare he?”
Davian pushed himself up onto his elbows as my fingers reached out, ghosting an inch over the fresh injuries.
My jaw steeled with determination. Davian’s eyes flashed as he grabbed my wrist. “Annie,” he said, the light of humour still coating his words. “I asked him to.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You—”
Davian nodded.
A wash of embarrassment fell across my cheeks. “Oh.”
Somehow I had forgotten about his House. On my first day here, he showed me the lounge, and pointed out the rooms that came off it. He was explicit about the nature of emotional relief through physical pain. I had chosen to forget this was his God, and this was his reality.
I knew it was judgemental, but I didn’t know how to feel about it. Part of me was still angry at Camriel, but more of me was worried about his relationship with Samiscus. Did it have any bearing on whatever we were doing?
Davian’s eyes softened, and he released my wrist. “What did you want to talk about?”
I shook my head and forced a smile. “It can wait.”
“It doesn’t need to.” Davian pushed himself up to his knees swiftly, and I took a step back as he stood up and walked across to a chest of drawers.
He plucked a folded linen shirt out and pulled it over his head.
He winked at me as he buttoned up the front.
“Shall we go for lunch? I know a great spot.”
His shirt was an off-white. I had never seen him in anything but black outside of these walls. And now he wanted to take me out for lunch?
That flash of hope, and a clanging chime of warning, echoed discordantly inside me. Another unchaperoned date, or just another conversation about our investigation? He had never answered my question yesterday on what was too romantic.
I swallowed past all of my fears, and folded my arms. “You’re happy today.”
He nodded. “That tends to happen.”
After, I finished. He was in a good mood after what Camriel had done. After what he’d asked for, I reminded myself.
Davian finished buttoning his shirt and pulled the braces up. He straightened his collar and approached me.
He picked up my hand and pressed a delicate kiss to the back of it. “I’ll order the carriage. Meet me out the front in five minutes.”
It was impossible not to smile when he was this charming. I wondered if he had any idea how powerful it was. I blushed again, and looked down at my simple chiton. I hadn’t planned to go into town today. “Should I change?”
He straightened and looked down at my dress himself with a discerning eye. My hand was still in his. When his eyes met mine again, they were molten. “No, you look perfect.”
Then, he was gone, the draught of his exit and the thump of his feet on the stairs leaving me reeling.
Lunch with Davian. It was fine, we were alone together most of the time.
I am sure most of the well-to-dos outside of our House would believe we were married or engaged.
There was nothing to fear. But I couldn’t tell that to my scattered heart.
He was stealing a piece of it each hour we spent together, and soon enough he would have its whole.
I knew I should stop it. I knew this was probably temporary.
Davian had called me childish and desperate for falling for Robar in a matter of weeks.
I hadn’t forgotten how it had stung, and not least because it was true.
I wondered if he had any idea that I was plummeting just as hard now. Would he call me stupid, then, too?
I should never have left Ekris. My heart was far safer in those immortal unfickle hands. I glanced up to the ceiling, wondering if my god had any idea how much of a fool I truly was.
Davian leaned into the server. “We’ll have the catch of the day and some thick bread.” The man nodded, and Davian caught him by the arm. I could see how disarmed the man was, though Davian didn’t even seem to notice as he completed his order. “Oh, and some of your honeyed figs.”
The man nodded. “Yes, my lord.”
I watched as he weaved through the outside tables and returned into the heart of the taverna.
The place was indisputably lovely. A small taverna at the edge of the city by the canal side, with tables and chairs positioned outside near the water.
The wine was cool and crisp, and two huge trees protected us from the worst of the sun.
A cat lounged in the shade of the closest one, and honeysuckle trailed lazily up the side of the building.
On the carriage ride, Davian had been nothing but pleasant in telling some anecdote about Whip knocking Eliza over and shattering a vase. I laughed in the right place when he said we’d have to change his name, too. ‘We’, was all I had really thought. He had said we.
“Annie.” I flitted my gaze to him. “You look pale.”
I swallowed and spoke the words into existence, even as I disliked myself for saying them. “I can’t believe you let Camriel do that.”
I flinched, expecting a rebuke. Davian only laughed.
“Whip me?” he asked. My frown settled into a sour uncertainty. “Your face is adorable. I promise there’s nothing sexual to it. We would both hate that, trust me.”
Davian topped up both of our wines. I hadn’t been thinking it was a sexual act.
At least, not directly. I suppose when he made the equivalence between my God’s relief and his, it had entered my mind.
But if anything, I was concerned that this was his only path to a brief respite from everything haunting him.
Surely, there were other ways to cope with his grief that didn’t rely on injury.
Davian shook his head at me, as if he could read my mind. “I wish you could experience it. The relief, after. It’s like the first day of sun after winter. Or the greatest stretch of your life. Everything else feels smaller. Manageable.”
I nodded slowly. “I don’t understand, but I want to.”
“That’s how I feel about you and Ekris,” Davian retorted. “Except no, I don’t want to understand. I’m sure your God is far more fucked up than mine. But I don’t expect you to agree with me.”
I snorted, and the tension between us dissipated. He was right. We both had our secrets and our loyalties. We had to be fair to each other.
The food arrived shortly after. Perfectly cooked octopus laid on a bed of grilled vegetables.
The man served us both, and poured us more wine.
I reached for the bread to find it still warm, and the food melted into my mouth.
The honeyed figs were glazed and juicy, and the butter was heavy and salted.
A decadent lunch with a handsome date. I no longer imagined anyone else in Davian’s place. The only person I wanted to be here with was him. I paused as I swallowed down some wine to wash that admission away.
Davian looked up from spearing his next bite. “How is it?”
I grinned. “Delicious.”
“I’m glad.” His eyes sparkled in the afternoon light. “What was it you wanted to talk about when you knocked?”
I had another half of a fig before I answered.
“I know Aseem has a problem with you, probably because you married his daughter even after the betrothal was void.” I skimmed across their shared history, knowing yesterday was probably very difficult for Davian.
“But I find it odd that he has kept Juven alive, when he should have hanged last year after trying to start the sacrifices. And he was there on the Spit the night before. Maybe he’s coming after you so hard to cover it up. ”
He nodded and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. “I’ve considered it, too. I fear he’s just a prick, but if you want to look into it, we can.”
“I slighted Petros before by not appearing at the taverna. But if I apologised and went for a drink with him, I might be able to find out if Aseem or any of the other Leaders left during or after the dinner that night.”
Davian grimaced. “Petros, again? I don’t like it.”