Chapter Thirteen
JAKE
A weal twee?” Piper’s face lit up.
“Rrr. Real. Tree,” Nora corrected her.
“Www-eal twee.”
Nora rolled her eyes.
“Be patient with her, Nora,” I said, “She’s learning.”
Truthfully, I thought Piper should’ve been a lot farther along by now with her talking, and I worried that might be another side effect of the drama of the past year.
“We’ve never had a real tree, Daddy,” Ava said.
“I know.”
“Did you ever have a real tree when you were little like us?” she asked.
“A long, long time ago,” I replied with a nod.
“Because you’re so old,” Nora stated.
Natalia let out a little snort-laugh from her place in the passenger seat and then coughed. Probably her attempt to cover it .
I looked in the rearview mirror and wrinkled my nose at my daughter. “Yep. I’m very old.”
“Will there be mouse poo in this tree too?” Ava appeared concerned.
I cringed, remembering the mouse poop and nests hitting my face. “We’ll check it before we buy it.”
She nodded, looking relieved.
“You’ll love having a real tree,” Natalia told the girls. “They’re so pretty. My family gets one every year.”
“How come we never got one before?” Nora asked.
“Too messy,” I said, leaving out the fact that Kate never wanted one because of all the hassle of going to pick one out. As if putting together a fake tree wasn’t also a hassle.
“It might be a little extra cleanup, but that smell …” Natalia closed her eyes for a moment. “Mmm. You won’t be sorry you got a real one.” She poked my arm with her index finger. “And you’ll never have to worry about mice building a nest in it.”
“Thank God for that.”
I drove on toward the tree farm while the girls chattered excitedly. Thankfully, the temperature was enough above freezing for the salt the plows had spread on the roads to do their job, and the pavement was clear. Natalia called ahead to the tree farm to make sure they were open. They said the ice had done damage to some of their cut-your-own-tree field, but there were plenty available, as were some precut trees that were on display, so we planned to decide when we got there.
I had to keep reminding myself that even though I was doing something very family-like with Natalia and my daughters, she was only there because of the girls. Because she was their nanny and they had asked her. I couldn’t deny it felt good to have someone to spend time with, though.
When we arrived at the tree farm, the girls were out of their seatbelts before the engine was off, and Nora had already pressed the button to open the sliding door on the side of the van.
“Slow down there,” I said as I turned off the van and unhooked my seatbelt.
Natalia was already at the open door, helping Piper out of her car seat, and it made my heart ache how my sweet daughter held her little arms out and wrapped herself around Natalia. She needed her mom. All the girls did. Maybe one day I’d find someone to share the rest of my life with, but until then, I hoped having Natalia around would bring the much-needed female influence into their lives.
We decided to check out the field of trees first. I let Nora and Ava take Piper’s hand and walk along the rows, and Natalia and I walked at a safe distance behind them.
“So …” She glanced over at me then quickly looked away and chewed on her bottom lip. “How would you help me? With the whole dating thing?”
My eyebrows raised. “I thought you weren’t interested in my help.”
“I’m not saying I am, but hypothetically, how would that work? What is this great plan of yours?”
I instantly shifted into work mode. “First of all, you have to decide what you want to get out of this. What would be your biggest goals?”
She stared at me blankly.
“For example, how many guys do you want to meet? ”
“One.”
“One?”
“One.”
“As in uno, un, eins?”
“I don’t speak whatever languages those are, but yes. One.”
“Is this a good tree?” Ava cried as she petted the branches of a small tree up ahead.
“Bigger,” I called out to her.
The girls cheered and walked on, and I turned my attention back to Natalia as she spoke.
“I’m not interested in dating a bunch of guys just to date,” she stated.
“That’s not how I meant it.”
“I want to date with the purpose of finding my future husband.”
“Of course.” My stomach twisted at that. “But you might have to date a few until you find the right one.”
She frowned. “I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”
I could tell the idea was making her anxious, so I reached out and touched her arm. “Hey, we’ll go at your pace so you won’t get overwhelmed. No pressure.”
Our eyes met, and a warmth spread up my arm and through my body. Those eyes. They truly were a window into her soul. Her warmth, kindness, innocence, and hopefulness all showed through, as did her insecurity and bashfulness.
I glanced up at the girls and noticed Nora staring at us and quickly lowered my hand. Touching her was not a smart idea. Not around the girls. And definitely not if I was going to help her find a husband.
“I wish dating wasn’t such a process,” she said. “I really don’t think I’m built for it. ”
I sensed her impatience and trepidation. “But how important is it to you?”
She stared ahead at the girls and got a thoughtful, dreamy look on her face. “High priority.”
“If you don’t take steps in that direction, you won’t move forward toward your goal. You’ll stay right in the place you are right now.”
She sighed. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to find anyone who thinks about dating like I do.”
“Like you do, how?”
“I want someone to court me. Not just casual dating. I want a guy who’s in it to figure out if we’re right for each other for marriage. A guy who’s ready to commit.”
“To court you, huh? That’s a little old-fashioned.”
“Well, I’m an old-fashioned girl.”
It was very refreshing in today’s dating culture to come across a woman like her. Someone more interested in getting hitched than hooking up. And I admired her for it.
She made eye contact with me. “Just so you know, I’m not unhappy. I have a good life, family and friends who love me, and a pretty great job.” Her cheeks grew a soft shade of pink as she looked away. “I don’t need a husband.”
“But you want one.”
She blushed deeper and nodded.
“Then let me be your courtship coach.”
Her snort-laugh was back, and it was adorable. “Uh … what’s that now?”
“It has a certain ring to it, right?”
She chuckled. “If you say so.”
“Do you agree to let me help you?” I extended a hand for her to shake on it, and she eyed it hesitantly .
“We found one!” Nora waved her arms at us.
“This one, Daddy!” Ava and Piper jumped up and down as we joined them next to the perfect tree.
“Chwismas tweeee!” Piper cried.
The girls took turns high-fiving my still outstretched hand, which made Natalia laugh.
“Sooo?” I tilted my head and lifted my eyebrows.
“I’ll have to think about it some more.”
“Think about what?” Nora looked back and forth between us.
“Take your time.” I lowered my hand.
She turned her attention to the tree. “This one’s perfect!”
Ava and Piper hugged her legs and squealed with joy.
Nora stared up at me with a scowl. “Think about what?”
“I love your kangaroo ornament,” Natalia told Piper. “It looks just like Joe.”
Piper beamed as she ran for her stuffed kangaroo and came back to hold it up next to the little ornament.
“I was going to put my Hello Kitty one there next to the candy cane,” Ava said with a pout.
“There are plenty of branches for Hello Kitty, Ava,” I said. “You can put it over here by my gingerbread man.”
“Hello Kitty doesn’t like the gingerbread man.”
I gasped. “Why not? ”
“Boys are gross.”
“I’m not gross.” I tickled her side, and she squealed.
“You’re not a boy, Daddy. You’re an old man.”
I looked over at Natalia, whose lips were pressed together, holding in a laugh.
“I’d rather be an old man than a gross boy, I guess.”
Ava hugged my leg. “You’re not gross.”
“That’s good to hear.” I noticed Nora trying to reach one of the higher branches. “Do you need a stool, Nora?”
“I got it.”
She was on her tiptoes at that point, teetering a little toward the tree. I envisioned her tumbling into the branches, knocking the whole thing down, so I came over and lifted her so she could hang her ballerina.
“That’s pretty,” Natalia said.
Nora didn’t acknowledge her. Instead, she looked up at me with a pout. “I wish you could take me to the Christmas dance recital Monday.”
“We already talked about this. I won’t be home in time to take you.”
“I could ask Maleah’s mom if she’ll let me go with them.”
“It’s impolite to invite yourself, Nora.”
“They won’t care. Ashlynn invites herself to go places with them all the time.”
“Well, you’re not Ashlynn. And isn’t Maleah dancing in the recital? They probably have to get her there early.”
“So.”
“So, Maleah’s mom will have her own child to worry about. She doesn’t need another. ”
“Maleah’s mom is nice. She likes me. She says I can come over whenever I want.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean that literally.”
“What does literally mean?”
“It means sometimes people say things to be kind, but they don’t always mean exactly what they say.”
“You mean she lied?”
Oh, boy! I knew at that moment I’d gotten myself into a sticky situation with this one.
“No. I didn’t say that.” I tried to figure out the best way to explain this without destroying my daughter’s trust in people’s words.
“But you just said she didn’t mean what she said. Why would she say it if she didn’t mean it?”
“I’m not saying she didn’t mean it. I’m saying maybe she didn’t mean it.”
“I think she meant it.”
“Even if she did, you’re not going with them to the recital.”
“Why not?”
“Because … I said so.” I caught Natalia’s eye for a second and quickly looked away, already knowing what she probably thought of my cop-out of an answer.
Nora kicked the box of ornaments by our feet and ran off to her room. “I hate you!” she cried.
My heart sank to the depths. I’d always told my girls we don’t use the word hate with each other because hate is a very strong word. Even when you’re angry. And it was a word their mother threw around a lot in our marriage.
“I should go talk to her.” I pointed in Nora’s direction, and Natalia followed me toward the staircase .
“I can take her to the recital,” Natalia said softly. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“After what she just said, there’s no way she’s going.”
“Think back to when you were a kid and your parents said no to something you really wanted to do or have. That’s what Nora’s feeling right now.”
“And she’s throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get it.”
“I’m sure you threw a tantrum or two when you were her age.”
“Me? Never.” I winked at her.
“I’m not saying she doesn’t need to apologize for what she said to you. I’m saying I’m happy to take her to the recital once you two get things sorted out. That’s what you pay me for.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea since Nora hasn’t exactly been happy about having a nanny. Maybe it’s too much, too soon for you to deal with.”
“That’s even more reason for me to take her. Nora and I haven’t really connected yet, and this might be a way for us to bond.”
I gave her a little smile, touched by her thoughtfulness. “I’ll think about it.”
She went back to help Ava and Piper work on the tree while I headed up to talk to my daughter. Again.