4. Ty
Chapter 4
Ty
I n the chain gang, Ty had followed orders because not following them meant getting into trouble. Only now, the order was to go back to their tent and lollygag for a while. He knew he would get used to it in time, so as he followed Hudson back to tent number eight, he made himself pretend that everything was normal.
Once in the tent, Ty put his things away, as Hudson was doing, on the white shelves between the cots. Then the two of them sat on the cots and looked at each other.
“We still haven’t even done any work,” said Hudson. “There’s got to be payback for all this stuff.”
He sounded like he was complaining, but what Ty saw in his face was confusion, his brown eyes dark.
“You’re worried that they’re just tricking us,” said Ty. “They’re not, you know.”
“I know,” said Hudson, but he didn’t sound like he truly believed it.
“I kept thinking someone was going to take my food away,” said Ty, forcing a little laugh because what he wanted most of all was for their current situation to be normal. “I can hardly believe all this is real.”
This small bit of vulnerability, something Ty would not have risked on the roads outside of Chadron, was maybe what made Hudson’s shoulders come down a fraction. Allowed him to take a deep breath. He seemed to try on a smile that almost reached his eyes. But it didn’t.
“I think it is real,” said Hudson, quite slowly, as if he thought if he kept saying it, it would become real.
He looked at Ty and it was as if he wanted Ty to announce that he believed this was their new normal, so Hudson could also believe. For such a powerfully built man to need that from Ty made Ty feel strong.
“Would they have given me extra gravy if it wasn’t real?” Ty asked, mentally crossing his fingers in the hope that he could lighten the expression on Hudson’s face. Because, if Hudson could relax, then, in turn, so could Ty. As long as he had Hudson in his sights, he would be okay.
“No.” In spite of the clipped answer, Hudson gave Ty a small smile, and this time it reached his eyes.
They heard clomping on the wooden steps outside their tent, and together, eyes locked, Ty and Hudson stood up.
It had only taken a moment for the ease and belief in their situation to be taken away. On the chain gang, if someone ever approached Ty that quickly, it had never been for any good reason.
He held his breath and waited for whoever was outside of the tent to barge in on them. But whoever it was only knocked on the wooden tent pole. Ty could see the outline of him, but he wasn’t moving.
“You guys in there?” asked a bright voice.
“What’re we doing?” asked Ty in a very small voice. “Hiding?”
“We’re going to unzip the tent flap,” said Hudson to Ty and, with determination glinting in his eyes, Hudson did just that. But Ty could see the vein jumping in his neck. “Come in,” Hudson said to their visitor.
A lithe young man with dark, wavy hair and green eyes, and wearing pretty much the exact same outfit that Gabe had been wearing, came into the tent.
“Hey, guys,” he said in a bright and breezy way. “I’m Blaze. I’m on your team. Gabe was supposed to introduce us, but now he’s asking me to ask you if you’re coming to the campfire?”
Blaze asked, as though not going was an option. That they could have said no and just do as they pleased. But the last thing Ty wanted was to sit around the tent until bedtime, watching his worries and anxiety grow into an untamable pile.
“Sure, we’re coming,” said Ty, hurriedly. “We put our things away and now we can’t find anything.”
Hudson huffed a laugh, grabbed his flannel-lined jean jacket, and took a flashlight from the shelf.
“Still adjusting, I see,” said Blaze in a friendly way. “It takes a while, but you’ll get there. In the meantime, there are s’mores in your near future.”
Following Blaze along the shadowy path to the campfire was less an act of trust, more a habit. Someone told you to do something, you did that something.
They didn’t have far to go along the path through the woods before they arrived at the fire pit. Ty remembered it from their tour earlier as being just a quiet, cleared space with hay bales and rocks in a circle. Now, it was lively, with men sitting on those hay bales, talking, others hunkered down and building a fire.
“We usually wait until dark,” said Blaze. “For the full effect, you see. But Royce says it’s going to rain, and since it’s your first day and all, we didn’t want you to miss out.”
“This is for us?” asked Hudson, as he surveyed the scene.
“Well, we do this all the time,” said Blaze. “But we moved tonight up a couple of hours to make sure you could experience it on your first night.”
“Oh,” was Hudson’s clipped response.
As Blaze waved them to take a seat on one of the hay bales and headed to the fire pit, Hudson and Ty looked at each other.
“This’ll get easier,” said Ty.
He was going to say it until he believed it. Until Hudson believed it. But it was still surreal to sit on the hay bale while other people tended to the fire. Sitting shoulder to shoulder with Hudson, he watched the clouds that gathered above the ridge turn purple and pink.
All the food in his system began to settle in his belly, making him sleepy. And, for all Ty’s reassurances to Hudson, sitting still was the worst, because it let the thoughts in. Dark thoughts with long wires to yank him out of the valley.
Beneath his clothes, his skin began to feel prickly, making him want to scratch. But that would make him look weird, so he made himself sit there and enjoy the s’mores and the freshly built fire. The men standing around it, watching it, their eyes aglow. Overhead, clouds billowed over the ridge and seemed to sink downward, casting them all into twilight.
How it had suddenly turned from something nice, Ty didn’t know, but he felt like he was watching himself from a distance. Sitting there, eating a sweet treat that he couldn’t taste. The campfire oozed warmth, but he was unable to feel it. Maybe the conversation was full of laughter, but he couldn’t join in.
At his side, Hudson didn’t seem to be faring much better, and he turned to Ty and said, “This’ll get better, right?”
Ty made himself nod. The warmth and solid feel of that shoulder was an anchor, keeping him from floating off. Allowing him to endure the rest of the evening until it was fully dark, and all the graham crackers and bars of chocolate, all the marshmallows, had been eaten. Men were standing up, dousing the fire with sand, and drifting off into the darkness.
Gabe came up to them, his flashlight on and at his side, rather than shining it in their eyes.
“You guys must be beat,” he said. “I’ll walk you back to your tent, okay? Then you can get a good night’s sleep.”
Ty followed behind Hudson as they made their way along the path through the cool darkness. Hudson’s flashlight was on as well, so there was plenty of light to see by.
Ty clicked his flashlight on and off, on and off, until Hudson snapped.
“Knock it off,” he said, in a low, growly voice.
“Okay,” said Ty. “Okay.”
When they arrived at their tent, Gabe waited until they were inside, and Hudson pulled the string to turn on the overhead light.
“Breakfast is at seven thirty,” Gabe said. “You’ll hear the bell. Then, after we eat, we’ll go up to the ranch and get you boys set up with hats and boots.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Hudson.
“Gabe,” said Gabe. “Just call me Gabe.”
“Yes, Gabe,” said Hudson.
“Yes, Gabe,” said Ty.
It didn’t take them long to get ready for bed, and Ty was more than ready. His first night in two years that he had soap to wash with. Another shower with plenty of hot water, which was where he wanted to stay forever, but Hudson was waiting. So, he dried off, got dressed, and followed Hudson back to the tent.
“Any reason not to turn this light off?” asked Hudson.
“No,” said Ty. “Is that rain?”
The sound on the tent’s roof sounded like someone was tapping on it, a million taps that got heavier quickly.
“Yeah,” said Hudson. “That guy Royce was right.”
Hudson waited until Ty crawled into his cot, then he turned off the light and crawled into his own cot. Which was when Ty’s skin kicked up that prickly feeling from earlier. In spite of the fresh sheets and soft pillow, it felt like the waistband of his briefs was digging into him, pressing against him like acid.
The cotton sheet was sandpaper on the rest of him, and the t-shirt he was wearing, so soft when he put it on earlier, made him feel like he was encased in plastic wrap, tightly, so none of his skin could breathe.
Outside the tent, the rain sounded fresh and cool. There was no thunder or lightning, just rain coming down in a steady way that seemed to be inviting him.
Sometimes rain did that. Being out in it helped with his headaches, but when he’d been in the chain gang, there was no getting up at night. Dire consequences would follow if he did.
The most he’d ever been able to manage was to stick his hand beneath the bottom of the tent, and focus all of his attention on the rain hitting his palm, his fingers.
He hardly realized when he sat up and started walking out of the tent.
“Where you going?” asked Hudson. “It’s raining.”
“The facilities,” said Ty, barely able to hear his own voice.
He stepped out into the rain, cool and fresh, dancing on his shoulders, tickling his hair into damp strands. For the first time in over two years, he was able to feel the rain on his skin.
Walking down the steps, he knew he was going into the cold rainstorm, but he wasn’t in control. His body had taken over.
His hands took off his already soaked t-shirt and left it where it fell. His briefs came next, left on the path.
Barefooted, he walked on into the darkness, his body sighing as it soaked up the water, his heart slowing down as the scratchy feeling of his clothes began melting away. His dark thoughts were pounded into nothingness with each drop of rain that fell.
As to where he was headed, he had no idea. Just that being lost in a forest in a rainstorm was the only thing he wanted right now.