15. Hudson
Chapter 15
Hudson
E ven after Hudson ignored Zeke’s announcement about a riding lesson that afternoon, he let Gabe talk him into taking another riding lesson. Badgered him, actually.
“What about the wood?” Hudson asked, thinking that if he kept busy, he could keep his darker thoughts at bay. Thoughts about the future. About Ty, who had already taken off running when Gabe had mentioned the riding lesson.
“The wood will wait,” said Gabe. “It’s good to keep things in balance. Work and play. You see?”
Hudson supposed he did see, though it felt uncomfortable and strange to stop working to get kitted up in boots and a hat. He walked through the woods on his own, feeling very much like a fool. When he got to the paddock, he could see who was there, Ty and Wayne, and another guy he didn’t really know.
He’d been doing his best to avoid Ty, sitting on the other end of the mess tent. Finding a spot in the glade to chop wood that was as far away from Ty as possible.
Of course, Ty would be in the paddock, looking for all the world like he had made himself at home there, his legs lean, shoulders back, a smile on his face that was dazzling in the shadow of the brim of his straw hat. He was saddling up a smaller horse that looked like someone had poured sun-drizzled honey over her coat.
Watching Ty do what he knew how to do best was soothing. But it was better to focus on the skinny guy who came up to him, leading a horse by its reins.
“I’m Cal,” he said. “And this is Klondike. He’s got long legs like you do, so you should be a good fit.”
Klondike was taller than the horse Hudson had ridden before, mostly black, with a dark mane and tail, and a white blaze down his long nose. He seemed calmer as well, standing while Cal pointed out different parts of the saddle and bridle, only twitching his tail once in a while.
Cal gestured to the stirrup. “I can adjust those for you once you’re on,” said Cal.
Out of the corner of his eye, Hudson could see Ty doing something to his horse’s saddle. And once again he was struck by the feeling that he needed to stay far away from Ty, for all kinds of reasons that whirled in his head.
Yes, the connection between them had been easy and sweet. He liked Ty, more than he should, but he knew he couldn’t make friends. That he had to keep people at a distance. That Ty wouldn’t like him once he got to know him. That it was safer to stay apart.
And that he really didn’t need to know how to ride, in spite of what Gabe said.
“Maybe put your gloves on first,” said Cal.
“I don’t think so,” said Hudson. He tucked his gloves in the waistband of his jeans and shook his head.
“It’s okay to be a little scared,” said Cal. “I was at first.”
“I’m not scared,” Hudson said. He looked at the horse, standing so still and contented, and wondered what Ty saw in all of this.
“Is there something I can help with?” asked a voice from behind him. Hudson turned. It was Ty.
“We’re fine,” said Cal. He looked between Hudson and Ty. “I think we’re fine, but maybe Hudson really doesn’t want a lesson today.”
Hudson didn’t want a lesson today or ever, frankly, but the two men had him trapped next to the horse. The only way to get past them was to shove them aside, and he wasn’t going to do that.
“Are you going to get on or not?” asked Ty. He looked up at Hudson like he was willing to take him on if he didn’t make up his damn mind.
Hudson chewed the inside of his lip. A feisty Ty was as interesting as, maybe more interesting than, a needy Ty.
Holding Ty in his arms for that one night had broken something open inside of him, and no amount of standoffishness seemed to be able to repair it. But he needed to, otherwise feelings would get out and feelings would get in and he just wasn’t strong enough to take any of it.
“Gabe said it was important for me to be here,” said Hudson. “Part of being well rounded, he said.”
“Then get on that horse and quit bringing everybody down,” said Ty.
His voice was loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the paddock, which was exactly what Hudson didn’t want.
“Yes, sir ,” said Hudson with a snap. It was better to follow orders, which he did, swinging his leg over. Settling in the saddle. Putting on his leather gloves. Waiting for the lesson to begin.
Cal helped him arrange the reins in his hands, and soon everyone’s attention was on their own horse.
When Ty got back on his horse, he was now riding right behind him, but that couldn’t be helped. Hudson focused on what Zeke was saying, and what he needed to do with his hands.
They started at a walk. Easy enough. The warmth of the sun settled on his shoulders in a pleasant way, and even though he’d be sweating inside of an hour, he didn’t mind because he knew there was a cool drink and plenty of shade available when the lesson was done.
Some of the horses began to move faster, though Hudson hadn’t heard the instruction to trot or anything. He felt someone’s horse bump into his horse and looked over his shoulder. It was Ty, focused on his reins, doing his best to stay in the saddle as his horse began to jump around.
“Don’t crowd,” said Zeke. “Pull back, Ty. Try to tighten Honey’s reins a little.”
But Ty didn’t ease up, or something happened, because his little horse shot ahead, rearing up on her hind legs, then coming down with force, a golden flash in the sunshine, her mane and tail flying.
Inside of a heartbeat, Honey was bucking and throwing her head. Though Ty looked like he was doing everything he could, it was obvious, even to Hudson, that the situation was out of control, and that the horse was just plain mad.
Other riders pulled their horses out of the way, which was when the little horse planted hard and threw Ty right over her head. He landed in a cloud of dust, curling his arms around his head just as the horse raced right over him.
Hudson’s heart stopped in his chest, all of his resolve gone, just like that. Dust in his hands, his heart full of fear.
If something happened to Ty—if he lost Ty, the world would be bleak and dark and horrible. What a fool he’d been to hold himself back like he had, to pull back from the brightness that Ty created in his heart. A fool .
He was off his horse as fast as he could, shouting Ty’s name. “Ty,” he yelled, a horrible yell that ripped out of his soul. “ Ty .”
He landed on his knees beside Ty, shielding him with his body in case the little horse decided it wanted another go at him.
Looking down, Hudson saw the tears squeezing out of the outer corners of Ty’s eyes, now tightly shut. He cupped Ty’s head in his hands and leaned close.
“Ty, can you hear me?” he asked, low. But he really didn’t care who heard him.
“Hudson?” asked Ty without opening his eyes. “Is she okay? She didn’t mean it, but she didn’t like the bit.”
He could hear the panic in Ty’s voice, see him wincing against the pain. He didn’t know the answer to those questions, but he needed to keep Ty calm.
“She’s fine,” said Cal from somewhere behind Hudson.
“Stay still, okay?” Hudson said. “I’ll be right here. You just need to stay still.”
“Don’t do this,” said Ty between gritted teeth. “Don’t act like you care. Just tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know the truth,” said Hudson, wishing with all his heart that he’d not kept Ty at such a distance just to protect himself. He’d been foolish to be so careful because now Ty was mad at him and might not let Hudson help him.
Someone bumped him from behind, but he shoved them away. Except it wasn’t a horse, it was Zeke.
“Stay where you are, Ty,” said Zeke. “Don’t move him, Hudson. Don’t let him move.”
“I’m calling an ambulance,” said Zeke. Hudson looked up to see all the horses standing in a row, their riders standing beside them, holding their reins. “You never can tell. We’ll get him checked out. Let’s clear out so they can get in here.”
Hudson never left Ty’s side, even when the paddock was empty. Gabe came and talked to Zeke for a moment before striding over to the two of them.
“I’m fine,” said Ty, finally opening his eyes. “I can get up.”
“Not after a fall like Zeke described,” said Gabe. He knelt in the dust next to Hudson. “Hudson, you ride with him. I’ll follow behind in the truck.”
“Yes, sir,” said Hudson, quickly, before Ty could say he’d rather have someone else with him in the ambulance.
“Don’t be brave,” said Zeke, standing over the three of them. “If it hurts, say so.”
There was a moment of silence as Ty searched Hudson’s face, as if looking for the truth of what Zeke had said. Hudson nodded to encourage him.
He knew what it was like, putting a shield between yourself and the rest of the world. On the chain gang, telling a guard or a warden that you were hurt, or not feeling so good, would just make them work you harder.
But it was different now. Over and over, the valley had proven that to be true. He just needed to trust it, and help Ty trust it.
Ty was looking at Hudson as though Hudson was his only safety. As though Hudson was his world. And the feeling that coursed through him, warm and sweet, was worth the fear. Worth the risk. Worth everything.
“You’re getting a ride in an ambulance, Ty,” said Hudson. “The paramedics will be here to help you. They’re going to need to know what hurts, so you might as well say it out loud now.”
Ty looked at Hudson as he thumbed Ty’s tears away and then held his hand.
“My head,” he said, blinking at Hudson. Wincing. “My shoulder. My side.”
“How about your back?” asked Hudson. He wasn’t a doctor, but surely it was a good sign that Ty hadn’t mentioned his back.
“Feels like I landed on it,” said Ty.
In the distance, Hudson could hear an ambulance siren. Inside of two minutes, a long white ambulance came over the hill from the highway, trundling carefully through the grasses and over bumps.
The paramedics jumped out carrying a backboard and quickly tended to Ty. They strapped him down and even put his neck in a brace, just in case.
When they lifted him was when Ty looked really scared. Hudson had to let go of him and step back. He didn’t want to and stayed as close as he could while they loaded Ty into the back of the ambulance.
“I’m riding with him,” he said.
The paramedics looked at each other. “Who are you?” one of them asked.
Hudson’s tongue was thick with uncertainty. What should he answer? What was he to Ty? What did he want to be? Everything. That’s what he wanted to be to Ty. When Ty had been bucked off his horse, Hudson was sure that was it. The end. Now he was being given a second chance to try again. To do right by Ty.
“I’m Gabe Westwell, the team lead,” Gabe said, stepping forward. “Hudson’s Ty’s tentmate. I’ll be following behind in the truck, so Hudson needs to go with Ty.”
“You got it,” said one of the paramedics. Then to Hudson, he said, “Just wait a sec while we get him settled.”
When Ty was settled, they gestured for Hudson to get in, which he did, sitting on the narrow ledge where they pointed him to sit. He took up Ty’s hand again, like it was perfectly natural to do so.
“We’re giving him some fluids,” said the paramedic as he did something with an IV. “It’s just saline. We’ll give him something for the pain, if he needs it. Do you need anything, Ty?”
Ty looked up at Hudson, his eyes round as the ambulance rocketed into motion and down the road.
“Say yes, if you need something,” said Hudson. “Don’t be shy. Just say it.”
“My neck hurts,” said Ty, squeezing his eyes shut, as he’d done before. “Everything hurts. Just everything.”
“We’re going to give you a little morphine and monitor,” the paramedic said. He adjusted something in the IV, and Hudson watched Ty’s face as it slowly relaxed. “We’ll be there soon.”
Hudson had never been in a vehicle that went as fast as that ambulance did. They arrived at the north side of Cheyenne in under half an hour and screeched into the ambulance bay.
They were placed in a small exam room in the emergency area, not five minutes after that. The room was curtained off, with two doctors and two nurses doing whatever it was they were doing.
Hudson had to let go of Ty’s hand. When they took off Ty’s boots, Hudson grabbed them.
“I’ll keep these,” he said.
“We’re going to take him to x-ray,” said one of the nurses. “Can you stay here?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Hudson. “Ty, I’m going to be right here.”
He had one glimpse of Ty’s white face as they took him away on a medical gurney, and then everything went still as he realized he was on his own.
He hugged the boots to himself and wondered how it had come to this. He’d watched over Ty as he’d walked through the rain, thinking himself some kind of protector. Then he’d turned his back on Ty to protect himself. And now here he was again, looking out for Ty.
He needed to get his head on straight. Figure out what his heart was up to before he got scared and pushed Ty away again. Before he hurt Ty again.
A nurse came in, a young woman with dark hair caught up in a bun.
“There’s a Mr. Tate on the phone,” she said. “He wants to talk to someone from the valley. That’s you, right?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he stood up.
“You can leave those,” she said, pointing to the boots.
“No, ma’am,” he said, clutching the boots tighter. There was no way he was leaving them behind. Ty loved those boots.
“Well, the phone is this way.”
He followed her to the main nursing desk that was in the center of the emergency area. He took the phone with his free hand and looked at it for a second, not knowing what he was going to say.
“Mr. Tate?” he asked, holding the phone to his ear, feeling a little like a school kid who’s been brought before the principal.
“Yes, who is this?” asked the voice of a man he’d met only once.
“This is Hudson Blackwell,” he said. “I’m Ty’s tentmate. I came in the ambulance with him.”
“How is he doing?” asked Mr. Tate.
“They just took him back for x-rays,” said Hudson. “He had a little morphine in the ambulance. I don’t know, he looked kind of pale to me.”
“Can you stay with him until Gabe gets there?” asked Mr. Tate.
“Yes, sir,” said Hudson. “I’ll stay all night if I have to.”
“That poor kid,” said Mr. Tate. “He’s been through so much, and now this.”
Hudson didn’t have an answer for that. Every man in the chain gang had been through hell.
“He had no record,” said Mr. Tate. “No record at all, and then he makes one mistake. One error in judgement, and they lock him up. Kind of like you. Neither of you deserves any more than you’ve already been through.”
Hudson’s throat closed up at that. He hadn’t thought that such a powerful man as Mr. Tate would have any opinion at all about the fairness of anyone’s sentence.
“I’ll look after him,” he promised.
“Thank you,” said Mr. Tate. “I’ll check back later. Call me if there’s any news. Gabe has my number.”
Mr. Tate hung up, and Hudson handed the phone back to the nurse. Then he made his way back to the exam room and sat on a hard chair to wait.
A few minutes later, Gabe showed up, looking worried, clenching the key fob to the truck in his fist like a magic talisman.
“Any word?”
Hudson shook his head. Now that Gabe was there, Hudson was no longer the point person. The nurses would be turning to Gabe to answer questions and sign papers. This somehow hurt worse than he imagined it would.
“Mr. Tate called,” he said. “He said he’d call back later and to call him if we get any news.”
Gabe pulled out his phone and dialed, then talked to Mr. Tate for a minute or two before hanging up.
“He said he’s glad we’re here,” said Gabe. He sat down next to Hudson. “Damn it,” he said with a sigh. “Zeke said something about a hackamore and a regular bit. The mare didn’t like the bit and went wild.”
Hudson nodded, though he hardly knew what Gabe was talking about. Ty was the cowboy, not him.
It was only half an hour more before they wheeled Ty back into the exam room. They took off the neck brace and helped Ty stand up from the wheelchair and sit on the exam table.
“I’m Dr. Sampson,” said the doctor. “We’ve checked him out. There are no breaks, nor a concussion, but you did right bringing him in.”
“Can I go home now?” asked Ty.
“We’d like to keep you overnight for observation,” said Dr. Sampson.
“Can he go home?” asked Hudson. “I’ll look after him.”
“What do you reckon, doctor?” asked Gabe. “We’ll put him right to bed and make him take it easy for a few days.”
“Well, I could give you some heavy-duty Tylenol,” said Dr. Sampson. He looked at Ty thoughtfully. “But that means no riding, no work. Just rest. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” said Ty. He tried to stand, and Hudson was at his side, curling an arm behind his back to help him. “You’ve got my boots.”
“Yes,” said Hudson, something in his chest relaxing for the first time since he’d seen Ty come off that horse.
“I’ll sign whatever paperwork you have,” said Gabe. “Then I’ll bring the truck around.”
They had left the wheelchair, so Hudson helped Ty into it, then handed him his boots. He knelt on the cold hospital floor to help Ty with the boots.
He’d never been in an emergency medical situation before, but it seemed to take forever before they let him wheel Ty outside of the hospital to the curb where Gabe was waiting with a silver truck.
Hudson insisted that Ty sit in the front, and Hudson helped him with his seat belt.
He was hovering in an obnoxious way, he knew that he was. But there was so much he wanted to say to Ty, and forgiveness that he wanted to hear, but Gabe was there, and the kind of conversation he wanted to have would be made even more uncomfortable with witnesses.
So, helping Ty was the only way he could communicate. Hovering was the only way he could show that he cared. Sitting in the back row of the truck so Ty could ride in the front was another way. And hoping that when they had their conversation, things would be good between them. Hoping for better, the way Ty always did.
As Gabe drove toward the valley, Hudson could see Ty in the right-hand side-mirror looking at him. Ty wasn’t saying anything either, but he was keeping Hudson in his view as if he was afraid if he looked away, he might lose him. That alone gave Hudson hope in his heart.