17. Ty
Chapter 17
Ty
T y’s arms ached when he woke up. In fact, all of him did but mostly his arms and that was because he was holding on to Hudson so tightly. He remembered that in the middle of the night, the pain from his body had woken him up.
He made a slight movement to reach for his pills and Hudson had been instantly awake, slipping out of bed to grab the pills and the bottle of water. Kneeling beside the cot, he helped Ty take meds, not turning on the light, but finding all of this in the dark. He’d waited until Ty had swallowed, then cupped his face.
“Those’ll kick in fast,” he said, then he’d clambered into bed and held Ty like he had before. Such a safe feeling, to have that strong chest to lean against, that warm body as it curved around his, steady and still. The even rise and fall of that chest was perhaps the best medicine of all.
Now he was awake and loosening his arms to lean back so he could get a good look at Hudson. Still sleeping, face half buried in the pillows. Hair mussed, tumbling dark around his temples. The warmth of his skin, the bit of beardgrowth along his strong jaw. The feel of those amazingly long legs tangled with his own.
The heaven-sent peace of it made the drowsy morning sweeter than he’d ever thought possible.
Hudson had been so angry over the last week, so lost and confused. Like he needed someone to show him how good life could be. Like he needed someone .
Ty knew he could be that someone. He wouldn’t mind showing Hudson how to be happy, because even at his growliest leave-me-alone moments, those brown eyes had been edged with hope. That it could get better. That someone would understand what he’d been through. That someone would care.
Well, Ty was that someone. Hudson’s friend, at the very least. And maybe more than that, if he was lucky.
“Hudson,” said Ty. He thought he heard the bell for breakfast. “Can you smell bacon? Hudson?”
Hudson’s eyes opened, brows quirked, as though he was a little surprised to find Ty still in his arms. Then, with a small groan, he gathered Ty close to his chest, which was exactly where Ty wanted to be, only he’d not known it till then.
“You’ll take it easy today,” said Hudson. He pulled back and swept Ty’s hair out of his eyes. “Right? A lot of rest and no work.”
“I need to check on Honey first,” Ty said, and when Hudson’s brows lowered, he said, “I need to make sure she’s okay and that she knows she didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Mr. Tate said that he hoped you’d be okay and that you didn’t deserve—” began Hudson.
“When did you talk to Mr. Tate?” asked Ty, confused.
“He called while you were getting x-rayed. And Gabe said that Zeke had said something about the horse not liking the bit. He mentioned something about a hackamore. I didn’t understand any of it.”
“Honey is a horse that’s trained to a bit-less bridle called a hackamore,” said Ty. He cupped his hands behind Hudson’s neck and let their foreheads touch. “We guide by tugging the reins against their neck. With a shift of body weight in the saddle. Not all horses can be ridden that way, but Honey can.”
“Oh.” It seemed a magic trick to guide an animal that large by mere tugs.
“We shouldn’t have tested her on that bit, but we did, and that’s what upset her,” added Ty. “I’ll make sure she’s okay. Then right after breakfast, I’m back in bed. Okay?”
“Okay,” said Hudson. He leaned into Ty’s touch and closed his eyes. “You scared the shit out of me, you know. Watching you go down like that.”
Ty tried to smile brightly, wanting to sweep Hudson’s concern aside, like some old, bad habit. But if they were going to begin again, he should be as honest as he could be.
“I thought I was a goner for sure,” Ty said. “Mostly horses don’t step on you if they can help it. But it was so crowded at that end of the paddock—” He swallowed the tightness in his throat. “Well, she didn’t. And here I am, safe in your arms. Again. Just don’t?—”
He paused and looked up into Hudson’s deep eyes.
“Don’t pull back. Remember when you said I should come to you if I needed to go in the rain? Well, it’s the same for you. If you need something. To be alone. To shout at someone. Anything. Just let me know. We’ll be here for each other. That’s what’s most important.”
“Okay,” said Hudson, though he didn’t sound quite sure.
“Help me get dressed,” said Ty, rising to kiss Hudson on the forehead. “I want to check on Honey before breakfast.”
Hudson was quite somber as he helped Ty into his socks and jeans. Work boots because he wouldn’t be riding. Doing up the buttons on Ty’s long-sleeved shirt.
“Where is my hat?” asked Ty.
“I don’t know,” said Hudson as he quickly got dressed. “We’ll get you another one if we have to.”
Ty felt stiff as they walked along the path to the paddock, but each step made him feel a little less stiff. Zeke was already at the paddock, with Honey in a green halter as he checked her over. He turned as he heard them coming.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” asked Zeke.
“I wanted to make sure about Honey,” said Ty.
He came up to the paddock and slipped between the rails, which brought every single ache in his body to life. He went right up to Honey to wrap his arms around her neck. That strained his back a little, but he didn’t let go. He scratched her neck and fondled her ears, kissing her between her eyes, inhaling her horsey scent.
“How are her legs?” he asked.
“They’re fine,” said Zeke. “She’s going to be fine.”
Ty felt Hudson keeping a close eye on him as he ran his hands up and down her legs, along her hindquarters. Then he went back to her head and kissed her on the nose. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and seemed quite content.
“It’s okay, girl,” he said. Then to Hudson, he said, “Come and pet her. If you stand all the way out there, she’ll think you’re angry with her.”
“I’m not angry with her,” said Hudson, as if not quite sure of this fact, though he did slip into the paddock to give Honey a gentle pat on the neck. His eyes seemed only for Ty, Ty noticed.
“We won’t be using the bit again,” said Zeke. “That was my fault. Some horses can do both. She can’t.”
Ty’s whole body began to feel quite tired, so he didn’t object when Hudson tugged on him to head to the mess tent for breakfast.
When they got there, as they came up the steps, everyone stood up and cheered. This made him feel a little hot and embarrassed, though when someone handed him his cowboy hat, he felt a lot better.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” asked Gabe as he came up to the two of them. “We could have brought you some breakfast.”
“He needed to see Honey,” said Hudson, moving a little between Gabe and Ty, as though he imagined Gabe had more in store for Ty than the mere question. “To make sure she was okay.”
“Ah, I see,” said Gabe. “Well, why don’t you sit down, and Hudson and I will bring you some breakfast.”
Space was made for Ty at the table nearest the buffet, so he sat down across from Gordy and Wayne. They were friendly enough, but then, everybody was.
Meals were so upbeat, always such a nice change from his old life, though he wasn’t quite comfortable being waited on, getting bacon, eggs, and toast without having to lift a finger.
He felt a bit better when Hudson sat down with his tray, and they rubbed shoulders while they ate. And best of all, he saw Hudson doing his best to join in the general conversation.
“I’m on the chainsaw today, fellas,” said Wayne in a grand way. “And we’ll need to start up the chipper, too.”
“We’ll ask Gabe,” said Blaze, rolling his eyes at Wayne.
“I don’t mind sticking with the axe,” said Hudson. Ty wanted to kiss him for joining in the conversation.
“You’re really good with it,” said Blaze with a bright smile. “Is it true you were a wheelman for a bank robbery?”
It was a rude question to ask, out loud like he had, because either Hudson would have to answer for all to hear or tell Blaze to shut up. But then, he was making different choices now, wasn’t he.
“I was,” said Hudson simply. He took a long sip of his coffee, his eyes tracking to Ty, as if for support.
“He got talked into it,” said Ty stoutly. “It was just the one time and besides, haven’t we all made bad decisions?”
“That’s true,” said Blaze, which was fine, but now Ty could feel that Hudson didn’t want to be in the mess tent anymore.
“Thanks for breakfast, guys,” said Ty, getting up, and if he stumbled against Hudson, who was also standing up, that was fine. It served as a distraction, getting everyone’s attention off Hudson and onto him.
Hudson would be able to handle this kind of attention on his own—eventually. Ty would help him now.
Hudson hopped up and bussed places for both of them, then escorted Ty to tent number eight.
“You’re going to rest,” said Hudson, sternly. “I’ll check on you later.”
“You got it,” said Ty.
He plopped down on his cot. He really was beat and sore all over, but it was nice to have Hudson there, holding out two pills and the last of the bottles of water.
“Take those, okay?”
Ty did as he was told, swallowing the pills quickly. He smiled at Hudson and said, “I like having someone worrying over me. Not that I like that you are worried, it’s just that—” Ty paused and shook his head. “Thank you.”
“We’re friends,” said Hudson, as he tugged off Ty’s boots and pulled the blanket from his own cot to lay it over Ty. “It’s like I forgot how to be one. Until you.”
The idea of it, that he could make such a difference in Hudson’s life, made Ty’s heart feel soft and warm. He dozed the morning away, knowing only faintly when Hudson came to check on him, pulling the cotton blanket up to his neck and sweeping his hair back from his face.
How much his life had changed in such a short time. But in a good way, one that he’d not expected, except maybe in the back of his mind, where he’d repeated, this will get better, this will get better , over and over again. And now it had.
He slept through lunchtime, only waking up when Hudson came into the tent as the sun went behind the clouds.
“Think it’ll rain?” Ty asked as he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His muscles didn’t seem like they’d enjoy any sudden movements, so he took it slow as he eased his body from beneath the light blanket.
“Maybe,” said Hudson. “Want to go get some dinner?”
“Yes,” said Ty. He tilted his head back to look up at Hudson, standing in the center of the tent. He was so tall his head just about brushed against the overhead light.
“How did it go today?” Ty asked. He wanted to specify what he meant by this, but he didn’t imagine Hudson would enjoy being interrogated: W ere you nice to the people in the valley and Did you let them be nice to you?
“Wayne hogged the chipper, acting like he was in charge,” said Hudson, then he shrugged. “I didn’t mind.”
Hudson helped him put on his boots, and then they went to dinner, which was baked spaghetti with garlic bread.
Ty ate more than he should, but it was so pleasurable to just stuff his face until his stomach protested. It was as though all his senses had caught up, and he’d regained his ability to enjoy a meal without stressing over the hard work that would follow. Work that he’d never been fully able to keep up with.
Gabe stopped by their table just as they were finishing up.
“You’re looking better,” he said. “Think you’ll be back at it tomorrow, or do you need another day?”
“Tomorrow,” Ty said, standing up with his tray in his hands. “As long as I can take it slow?”
“Slow as you like,” said Gabe. “And if you need to stop, you stop.”
“Yes, sir,” said Ty.
“Should you?” asked Hudson, as they walked away from the mess tent.
“I’ll go crazy with one more day in bed.” Ty bumped his shoulder against Hudson’s. “You’ll keep an eye out for me, won’t you?”
“Yes.” Hudson nodded. “Do you want to go to the campfire later?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure it’s not going to rain.”
“No,” said Ty. “I just need a hot shower and an early night.”
“Okay,” said Hudson. “I’ll come with you.”
Hudson didn’t sound very enthusiastic, and Ty didn’t exactly know what he meant by Come with you. Unless it was to escort him to the showers and make sure he didn’t pass out while he was in there.
That’s what happened to begin with. They both collected their shower stuff and headed to the facilities. Ty went into one stall and Hudson went into the one next to him.
Ty heard that shower go on and turned his all the way to hot. Then he stripped and got beneath the spray, shuddering all over with the deliciousness of it. Life was better now, and this was proof.
It was when he lifted his arms to wash his hair that he ran into trouble. His arms were sore, and it hurt to try.
“Everything all right, Ty?” asked Hudson, his voice coming through the mist above the shower head.
“Yes,” said Ty, but then, as his arms flopped to his sides, he said, “No. It hurts to stretch over my head. I guess I’ll just rinse off and call it good.”
“No, wait.”
Ty heard the gentle knock on the wooden frame of his shower stall.
“Come in?” he said, his voice rising, heart speeding up, because he wasn’t sure he heard right.
“I can help,” said Hudson. “Let me help.”
“Okay,” said Ty, taking a big gulp of air at the turn of events.
Hudson came into his shower stall, half-drenched from his own shower. And he was naked. Not to mention much taller than Ty, muscled all over, with hair across his chest and a line going down from his belly button. He looked up at Hudson, feeling a little fragile in his presence.
“I’m just going to wash your hair,” said Hudson. “Close your eyes.”
Closing his eyes with a naked man in his shower stall was the last thing Ty wanted to do. He wanted to watch , but what Hudson said made sense. If he was going to get his hair washed, then he needed to close his eyes so shampoo wouldn’t get in and sting.
It was a delicious treat. Hudson’s hands were big and gentle, moving the shampoo through Ty’s hair, sliding his fingers around and around, until Ty was just about moaning with pleasure. With his hand cupped around the back of Ty’s neck, Hudson rinsed his hair and then lathered him up again.
“Just to make sure it’s really clean,” said Hudson, murmuring. “Then I’ll get the rest of you. Just relax.”
Ty was happy to obey, half falling asleep as Hudson washed his hair a second time, then rinsed him off again. Then he scrubbed Ty down gently, from his neck to his toes, and Ty enjoyed the sight of Hudson bending over to make sure Ty’s feet were clean.
“Are you ever going to kiss me?” asked Ty as Hudson straightened up, drops of moisture on his dark eyelashes, a bit of a curl in the hair on his forehead.
Hudson paused, the damp washcloth folded in his hands, the shower spray bouncing off his broad shoulders.
“You can, you know.”
It felt right to say this, to want this special feeling between them to expand and enfold them both. Hudson made him feel safe. Made him feel like it was safe to want again.
“I can?” asked Hudson, softly. He curled his fingers around Ty’s chin and tilted it upward.
Ty had to blink for a second to get shower water out of his eyes, then Hudson bent his head down and shielded Ty from the spray. And then kissed him with such tenderness. Not shyness, but a careful slowness, and his mouth was very soft.
Ty’s knees buckled and Hudson scooped his arm around Ty’s waist and held him close. Their hips touched. Their bellies touched. The heat of Hudson’s groin seemed to spill into him and grew until he was panting and had to pull back, his hands on Hudson’s shoulders for balance.
“I think you like me,” said Ty, teasing. Maybe he was rushing this, saying out loud that he cared about Hudson, except they’d encountered so many bumps in the road, there was no point not saying it.
“I like you well enough,” said Hudson, teasing right back.
Ty reached between them, stroking his hand along Hudson’s half-hard cock, a slight pet. Hudson’s whole body twitched, his eyes half closing.
“I’d be gentle with you,” said Ty, softly, feeling as though he was taming a wild thing he’d met in the woods.
“I know you would,” said Hudson, though he didn’t seem quite sure. “But we should wait until you’re more steady on your feet.”
“You’re right,” said Ty with a sigh. “I can’t reach high enough to wash your hair, but let me get your back, at least.”
His voice broke off as Hudson leaned close and kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “Yes.” And then, “Yes, please.”
Ty washed Hudson’s back, secretly thrilled that Hudson trusted him enough to turn his back on him. And he had a big back, broad across the shoulders, trim along his waist, and the sweetest bottom Ty had seen in a long time.
He was careful not to push it, but washed Hudson where he could reach in a businesslike way, and turned him to rinse off, feeling a little tired as he stepped back to give Hudson room beneath the spray.
“You’re done,” said Hudson. He turned off the shower. “We’re clean. Let’s dry off.”
Drying Hudson’s body was almost as much fun as washing him. Hudson, for his part, was gentle as he buffed Ty all over.
“So many bruises,” said Hudson. He shook his head and traced one of the bruises along Ty’s shoulder and arm. “Some of these are still from last week. Others are from yesterday.”
“I’ll heal,” said Ty. “I promise I will.”
He wanted to talk about how he’d had worse falls, because that was part of being a cowboy. But he could see it was distressing Hudson to see those bruises.
Hudson deserved not to have to worry about Ty, so he got dressed as fast as he could, then knelt to tie Hudson’s work boots, even though Hudson tried to stop him.
“I’m going to need water for my pills,” he said as he stood up. “Maybe we can stop by the mess tent and get some.”
“I’ll get those,” said Hudson. “You go back to the tent and get into bed and rest.”
“So bossy,” said Ty, teasing.
But he headed into the woods toward tent number eight, because while he enjoyed a little fussing, he also knew that Hudson was right. He needed to rest, and in the morning, he’d be right as rain.