20. Hudson
Chapter 20
Hudson
I t was Saturday afternoon. The day was warm, but at least inside the mess tent, they were in the shade, and someone had set up a tall, rotating fan. Hudson sat on the metal chair and looked at the packet of papers that Micha, the counselor, had just handed him.
“The application for a Class-A license is online,” said Micha. “But I think it’s good to be able to look everything over before you fill it all out. I’ve ordered a study guide for you, and later we’ll schedule your written and road exam.”
“Thank you.” Hudson looked down at the papers again and felt Ty leaning close to look over his shoulder. “I think this is everything I need.”
“See?” said Ty, and Hudson knew what he meant. The valley was a good place, and soon he’d believe it, if he let himself.
“You can use the computer over in the little office area to go online,” said Micha, pointing over Hudson’s head. “And when you’re ready for the driving test, Gabe or someone can take you down to Cheyenne.”
“Will you need to practice?” asked Ty.
“No,” said Hudson. “I don’t think so, but it might be nice to have a warm-up session before the road test begins.”
He could hardly believe it was this easy. Fill out paperwork and take the test and there he was, he was eligible for employment.
But what did that mean for him and Ty? Surely Ty would want to go back to what he’d done before, riding the range, tending to cattle. Being a one hundred-percent cowboy.
If that was true, Hudson would have to let him go. He’d rather that than make Ty miserable by asking him to do something else.
“I’ll help you,” said Ty. “Let’s start this afternoon.”
Hudson hesitated. He was on the verge of getting his old life back, but it felt a little strange as well. Nothing could ever go back to the way it had been because his life was forever changed.
“Don’t you want to drive a truck?” asked Ty. His breath was warm on Hudson’s cheek, and he smiled.
“I drove a rig ,” said Hudson. “A big rig. Eighteen wheels with a license to drive anything in any weather.”
“A rig,” said Ty easily.
“I was saving up to buy a rig of my own, so I could be my own man. Hire myself out, rather than going through someone else’s dispatch, with them taking a cut.”
“What kind?” asked Ty. “I mean, I don’t know the difference, but what kind were you saving up for?”
“A slick Peterbilt,” said Hudson, remembering when that dream felt new. “With chrome wrapping around the front, and a sleeping setup in the back of the cab.”
“Sounds nice,” said Ty. “What color?”
Hudson let his mind drift to the picture he’d kept in his wallet of the rig he’d been saving to buy. It had been glittery blue with plenty of chrome, and two tall silvery stacks at the back of the cab. The ownership of that rig was what Roger had used to convince him in his mad scheme to rob a bank, so maybe he’d get a different color, so the dream would be all his once more.
“Red,” he said. “Shiny red.”
After the counseling session was over, they waited their turn at the computer, and then Hudson filled out all the paperwork to apply for the exam for his Class-A license. He had to fill out an extra section to attest to the fact that he was a felon who was completing his parole.
For references, he entered Leland Tate and Gabe Westwell. Then he entered Micha’s email address and clicked the submit button. There was nothing to do from there but wait.
“This came for you,” said Gabe, coming over to them just as Hudson was getting up. He handed over a booklet that read CDL Manual for Wyoming . “That’ll get you ready for your tests, written and driving. And I’ll take you down to Cheyenne whenever they send you the date.”
“Thank you,” said Hudson. He stood up and shook Gabe’s hand, feeling a bit like a fool as he did it, though he liked the ceremonial feel of it as well. Maybe Ty was right. The valley was giving him a new start, and maybe he should make the most of it.
“You can study, and I’ll quiz you,” said Ty, standing quite close, looking as pleased as if he was on the verge of a new life of his own.
“Thanks,” said Hudson, though he didn’t imagine that the little manual would have much he didn’t already know. But as he flipped through it, he could see there were updates from five years ago and perhaps he shouldn’t quite be so dismissive. “Are we scheduled for work this afternoon?” he asked Ty.
“This place, I swear.” Ty shook his head. “There’s nothing specific, but I might head down to the paddock to help out and give you some time to go over the material. Then I’ll quiz you after dinner.”
“Sounds good.”
He wanted to kiss Ty, but there were still men helping to take up the metal chairs and move the tables back into place. Other men were setting up checkerboards and puzzles, and the cooks were setting out snacks. Someone wanted the computer as well, so they moved to the stairs and said their goodbyes with their eyes.
“See you at dinner,” said Hudson.
“See you,” said Ty.
Hudson went back to tent number eight and read through the manual, memorizing what was new, going over what he was familiar with. By the time the dinner hour rolled around, he thought he’d be very well prepared for Ty to quiz him, and felt more upbeat than he had in a long time.
But after dinner, and after the campfire, where they’d joined the men to roast marshmallows, he was too worn out to answer many of Ty’s helpful quiz questions and fell asleep with the light on.
The next morning, Sunday, he woke with his arms wrapped around Ty, and to the sight of Ty’s sweet smile.
“We’ll try again later,” he said. “This afternoon, for sure.”
They lollygagged so much in bed, with Ty nuzzled against his chest, his fingers tracing through Ty’s hair, that they missed breakfast.
“We should get up,” Ty said. “Get some lunch, at least.”
By the time they made it to the mess tent, Hudson could smell that lunch was being set up. Only as he mounted the steps, he saw that a woman with blonde hair was sitting at one of the tables, with two boys in tow.
He almost didn’t recognize that it was Michelle, except when she turned her head to look at him. She was much the same, same dark blonde hair and angled features. The same, except older. More tired.
The boys were his nephews, and his heart lurched at the years he’d missed with them.
“I was going to come get you,” said Blaze in a breezy way, as if he had no idea at all how the sight of Michelle and the boys made Hudson’s heart freeze into solid ice. “They showed up, asking for you.”
“What are you doing here?” asked Hudson, marching up to her. They were sitting at one of the long tables but weren’t eating lunch. The little boys, looking at him with big brown eyes, pressed close to her.
“The prison told me you’d be here,” she said. “They emailed me and then I talked to someone named Maddy Greenway and she said I could come to visit you on the second Sunday.”
“You could have called to ask first,” said Hudson. “Because I would have said no, I don’t want you here. I don’t want any of you here.”
She shrank from him, and he could feel Ty tugging on his sleeve.
“Besides, I don’t have any money,” he said, holding his anger back by mere threads.
“I’m not here for money,” she said, softly. “I have a job at a laundromat, and the state gives me low-cost housing. We just came to see you. We drove from Scottsbluff this morning.”
Hudson took a good, hard look at all three of them. The boys were older, of course they were. They had clean faces and recently trimmed hair, as though Michelle had tried to show them in their best light. The clothes they were wearing looked old and worn, as though they’d come from a thrift store, but again, they were clean.
Michelle was different in that she didn’t look like she was still trying to hold on to her title of Miss Golden Nebraska Corn with too much makeup and a head of hair that would look better on a young girl. She was dressed much as the boys were in a t-shirt and blue jeans. Sneakers. Her hair was in a long braid down her back.
He didn’t mind how she looked, only that Roger, enamored with her, thought she needed to be kept in a way that meant he had to spend a ton of money on her. His trophy wife, Roger had called her more than once.
Well, she didn’t look trophy anything at the moment. She looked like a young mom doing her best, but the thought of that hardened his heart further, rather than softening it.
“I don’t want you here,” he said, keeping his voice as level as he could. “You need to leave.”
“But I thought you’d want to see your nephews,” she said. “Garth is seven, now, and Trevor—this Trevor. He was just born when—” She stopped to swallow. “He’ll be five in September.”
Hudson knew why she paused. He’d been arrested in September when Trevor was only weeks old. As far as Hudson could recall, Michelle being pregnant with Trevor was what had pushed Roger over the edge of merely dreaming about robbing a bank to actually putting a plan into place.
“Don’t say anymore,” said Hudson, anger boiling inside of him. “Just get your things and leave. Go back to Scottsbluff. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
He tried to keep his voice low, but he could see out of the corner of his eye that the men were looking at him as if horrified he was talking to anyone that way, let alone a young mother with two small boys at her side.
“I don’t have anything for you,” he said, hardly knowing what he meant. Energy? Time? Money?
He stalked out of the mess tent with Ty on his heels, hustling to keep up. He didn’t know which way he was headed, only that he ended up at Half Moon Lake, the breeze cutting across the blue water in small furls. He sat at the wooden picnic table and buried his face in his hands.
“Why were you so mean to her?” he heard Ty ask. He looked up to see Ty standing there, a scowl firmly in place.
“None of your business.”
“But they’re your family.” Ty glared at Hudson, as if Hudson were at fault.
Hudson glared just as hard, then got up from the picnic table. Even though the sun was shining brightly, his world felt very dark, just as it had on the day his prison sentence had been handed down.
But Ty wouldn’t let it go. Wouldn’t let him go, but trotted after him, catching up to him and then standing in his way on the path. Not that Hudson knew where he was going.
“Why were you such an asshole to her?” demanded Ty. “She didn’t do anything to you.”
“You don’t get it, do you.”
“No, because you won’t tell me anything,” said Ty. “I told you all about me, and you told me things about you, but you’re keeping part of it a secret. We’re supposed to help each other, right?”
Ty came closer, as though he had no fear that Hudson was taller than him, and stronger than him.
Hudson could have pushed him out of the way and marched on to whatever destination he could think of. But he didn’t. Because Ty was right.
Hudson hadn’t really said anything about what happened to him. How he’d ended up in jail. Throughout the long five years, Hudson had kept everything close. Followed his own creed: Trust no one.
But this was Ty. He’d rescued Ty and Ty had rescued him. He had the study guide to help him get ready for his test for a new license. He had everything he needed to make a new life.
Deep inside, he felt bad about the way he’d talked to Michelle. Maybe it had been excusable, the way he’d acted when she’d visited him in prison to tell him that Roger had died trying to rob a bank. Everything had been so fresh then, so painful.
But now? Maybe the valley was doing its magic, the way Ty had predicted, the way Ty promised him it would.
“So tell me,” said Ty softly, coming close enough to put his hands on Hudson’s chest. “Tell me what happened. Then we can figure out how to reach out to Michelle and the boys—because, holy hell, you’re an uncle.”
He said it as though being one was his secret longtime dream to be an uncle, and he was totally jealous of Hudson.
Hudson tried to get away, but other than ripping Ty’s hands from his chest and flinging them away, he didn’t know what to do. Ty was an immovable force, it seemed. Intent on doing the right thing. On getting Hudson to do the right thing.
He let Ty lead him back to the picnic table. There, they both sat on top of the table, their feet on the bench seat, facing the water.
Ty looped his arm through Hudson’s arm, an anchor and a comfort, all at the same time. And he listened while Hudson talked, telling him about Roger’s mad plan and how he needed money to support his lovely wife in the way he thought she might like to become accustomed. How a second child was sending his budget into a tailspin, and how robbing a bank would be easy. How he needed Hudson to drive the getaway car.
“I loved my brother, you see,” said Hudson, trailing off, his brain totally tired of thinking about that day in the same way he’d thought about it for five long years. “I could never say no to him.”
“He was family,” said Ty. “I get it, I do. And now Michelle and the boys are your family. At least you have one.”
Hudson looked at Ty, at the tender expression on his face. Ty never mentioned his family, so Hudson felt that his family had given up on him even before he’d headed west to ride the range and tend after cattle. So, of course, to him, a family was one of the most precious things in the world.
“We should reach out to her,” said Ty, pressing his forehead against Hudson’s arm. Hudson clasped the back of Ty’s head and kissed the top of it.
Ty had been right about so many things. Maybe he was right about this, too.
“I don’t know what I would say,” he said. “I’ve been mad at her for a long time.”
“But she didn’t do anything to you,” said Ty. “I mean, did she? She was Roger’s excuse, it sounds like. Look how she’s managing on her own. She could probably use some support.”
“From me, you mean.”
He could see exactly what Ty meant, what Ty thought would be the best solution. That Hudson should get his license, find work and then send money to her. On a regular basis, like an absent father, who would rather send cash than actually be there to support a family.
“Those little boys,” said Ty. “They looked a lot like you. So sweet, and so quiet.”
Hudson didn’t like the images that popped into his head. Of Michelle working at a laundromat—of all places—with both boys nearby, or being looked after by a stranger. All of them living off government support, which was probably quite meager.
All this time, she’d been managing to raise those two boys on her own. And he’d been blaming her. But for what?
Maybe in the beginning, she’d wanted a trophy wife life, with baubles for her wrist, and new cars, a big home. And maybe Roger had encouraged that, getting some kind of status from having a beautiful wife like her. But really, Hudson had no idea how it had been for Michelle.
They’d met a few times before the wedding, and then a few times after that over the years. Roger liked to keep his life private, just like Hudson always had, so he had understood and had never gotten to know Michelle very well.
“I don’t even know what I’d say to her.” Hudson repeated as he ran his hands down his face, looking at the lake and the clouds as they trundled over the ridge. “Or what I could give her. I don’t have any money.”
“Give her you,” said Ty. “I bet all she wants is for someone to talk to. Someone to care about those boys the way she does.”
“I don’t know if I can give her that,” said Hudson. “Or if she’ll accept it, the way I just treated her.”
“You never know,” said Ty. “But I think you should try. You have a family, and that’s a good thing. Don’t throw it away.”
“I think you want this for yourself as much as for me,” said Hudson, the honesty pushing out of him in a rush of affection.
“Yeah,” said Ty. “A little.”
“A lot,” said Hudson, clarifying. “And that’s okay. Because I think you’re right. About all of it.”