Chapter 7
7
Isla
GERTRUDE STACKED HER used yoga mat onto the pile just inside the studio door. “Have I said how much I love goat yoga?”
“You love goat yoga because you think no one realizes it’s you farting up the place.” Betty added her mat to the group before flashing Isla a smile as she waited to collect all the pads so she could sanitize them. “And how are you today, pretty girl?”
“I’m good.” She was. Surprisingly good. After almost two months in Moss Creek, it was finally starting to feel like her life was coming together. And this time, it was really hers instead of just a waiting room she’d decided to sit in, thinking someday she’d eventually join the doctor in his office.
Eric could take his office and cram it up his?—
“That makes me so happy to hear.” Betty took Isla’s hands in hers, gripping them tight. “You deserve to be happy. You are so sweet and such a hard worker.”
“And so smart for getting away from that twerp.” Muriel joined their growing group. “I know he was going to be a doctor, but all the money in the world isn’t worth being with an idiot.” She lifted her brows. “And he’s an idiot for not appreciating you.”
Over the past few weeks, she’d gotten to know the group of women surrounding her better and better. They were for sure hilarious, but they were also one heck of a hype-squad. Every time she saw them, she walked away feeling good about herself. Even the most damaged bits of her self-esteem were beginning to heal from the crushing blow of Eric’s very detailed rejection.
But the Bridge Bitches weren’t the only people she’d gotten to know better. She and Cooper had been talking every night since he started teaching her to drive. Sometimes it was a quick voice message about something funny that happened during his shift. Sometimes she had a question about the goats. Other times they sent messages late into the night, talking about everything and anything. The way they both found Gram-Gram a little terrifying. Their mutual love of breakfast foods for dinner. He’d told her about the goats he had as a kid, and she’d shared about her time playing clarinet in the marching band.
It was so nice to have someone to talk to— really talk to. Eric had always been busy or stressed or tired, so unless he had something to say, their conversations had been limited. She’d told herself it would change once he was through his residency, but it wouldn’t have. Eric would have always found something else that was more important to him.
Cooper always had time to talk to her. The man was busy nearly every minute of the day. He was picking up shifts right and left, working way more hours than Eric could dream of putting in. He had a house to maintain and horses to care for and he still never missed the chance to send her a message.
And he was only her friend.
It was starting to become painfully obvious just how much she’d tolerated from the man she thought she’d marry. How much she was prepared to settle, and how much she was prepared to overlook.
And it was freaking embarrassing.
“He’s definitely an idiot.” Isla laughed a little at how freeing it was to finally admit that. “And I’m super glad he’s no longer my idiot.”
“You know what you need?” Gertrude inched closer, acting like she was going to lower her voice, but still talking just as loud as she always did when she said, “To get laid by a new idiot. Find someone to bang out the cobwebs that needledick asshole missed.”
Isla blinked. Even after getting to know them better, there were still moments when she was shocked at some of the things that came out of these women’s mouths. “I don’t know if that’s?—”
“It’s worth a shot.” Gertrude wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “And lord knows there’s plenty to pick from around here.” She turned to point a finger at Isla, expression serious. “Just make sure he wraps that wiener up. The last thing you need is one of them leaving town and sticking you with a baby to take care of.”
An odd silence fell over the group as the women around her exchanged sour looks.
“I’m on the pill,” Isla reassured them. Not that she wouldn’t also use protection.
Was she actually considering this?
No.
No.
Well…
“Don’t let her pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.” Betty’s arm went around Isla’s waist as she tugged her from Gertrude’s grip. “Just because she slept with Kenny Rogers doesn’t mean you need to go around sleeping with strange men.”
Isla turned to Gertrude. “You slept with Kenny Rogers?”
Muriel balked. “You didn’t know about this? She’s got a damn T-shirt.” She slapped at the zipper of Gertrude’s knit jacket. “Wears it to class every week.”
Gertrude yanked down the fastener, revealing a hot pink shirt with an image of the country crooner’s head floating at the center. Above it were the words ‘ I boned ’ and below it said ‘ Kenny Rogers ’.
“That’s…” Isla fished for words to describe not only what she was seeing, but the information itself. “Something to be proud of, I guess.”
Gertrude’s head tipped back, making it seem like she was affronted. “Wouldn’t you be proud of sleeping with one of the hottest men of the seventies?”
“You don’t really want her to answer that. It’ll hurt all our feelings.” Betty led Isla to the doors of the building that housed Evelyn’s yoga studio. “Let’s talk about finding your own Kenny Rogers.”
Was that what she was looking for? Some random dude she’d be able to brag to her friends about when she was old and gray?
I mean, first she’d have to get friends. But random hookups didn’t really seem like her style. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“Well you won’t know until you try.” Muriel fell into step at her other side, using her cane to balance as they crossed the gravel lot situated behind Evelyn and Grady’s house. “We should all go out to The Creekery this weekend. Let you spread your wings a little. See what happens.”
“You guys want to go to the bar with me?” She’d heard Evelyn talk about taking the Bridge Bitches out drinking, but never thought of herself as the kind of person they’d want to bring into their fold. Even though they were decades older than she was, they still had sort of a ‘cool girl’ air. And she’d never been invited to sit at that table.
“Hell yes, we want to go to the bar with you.” Betty patted her hand with a sigh. “The only problem is, none of us is comfortable driving at night.”
“Oh.” Isla chewed her lower lip. “I would offer to drive, but I don’t have a car.”
“You can use my jeep,” Gertrude offered. “It’ll be good practice for you too. Help get you ready to take that test.”
It probably was a good idea for her to drive with someone other than Cooper. Even if it didn’t quite hold the same appeal. He was just so calm. So patient. So unflappable. It made it easy to relax knowing he wouldn’t be bothered if she made a mistake or did something wrong.
“It’s settled then.” Gertrude clapped her hands together. “I’ll come to your place Friday at six and then we can get everyone else from there.”
“Okay.” Isla forced on a smile. “That sounds good.”
It actually sounded like a lot of things, but good was the most flattering option she could come up with. And it had nothing to do with the Bridge Bitches. It was all her. Having her first girls’ night ever at twenty-four—almost twenty-five—and with a group of women old enough to be her grandmothers? It was a little humiliating. And it really drove home just how much she'd allowed Eric to control her life.
He never came out and said he didn't want her socializing without him, but it was inferred. Always neatly hidden behind the guise of wanting to spend time with her whenever he could. As a result, she’d sat at home and waited. Waited for him to have a few free minutes. Waited for him to prioritize their life the same way she did. Waited for him to find value in her existence.
But it never happened. So what was the point of sitting around continuing to wait for the life she wanted? There wasn’t one. Might as well start grabbing it by the horns and dragging it where she planned to go.
After walking the girls to their cars—making sure everyone got across the rocky lot safely—she went to collect the yoga mats, carrying them into the back room of the studio. Dropping them into the large tub they used to scrub away any goat residue, she filled the basin with warm, soapy water, making sure all the mats were properly submerged. Then she left them to soak for a few minutes while she checked on the goats.
After class, she’d let them into the pasture so they could run off the excitement that always came with meeting new people, and, as expected, they were bouncing around the fenced-in space. She leaned against the fence, smiling as she watched them jump onto the obstacles placed around the enclosure like little traceurs practicing parkour.
“Looks like they’re having fun.”
She jumped a little at Cooper’s voice, her heart picking up when she turned to find him standing next to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Just came to check on things. Make sure everybody’s still doing well.” He tipped his head at the goats. “Seems like you’re taking good care of them.”
“I can’t take all the credit.” She tried not to step on boss’s toes, because while she’d fallen in love with the little herd, they were still Evelyn’s and she loved the heck out of them too. “Evelyn does most of the work.”
Cooper’s eyes found her face, studying her for a minute. “She wasn’t the one out there trimming their hooves or giving them their shots.”
“That’s because she’s got Hudson to take care of.” A little pang of sadness tightened her chest. “Since I don’t have that responsibility, it makes sense for me to pitch in whenever I can.”
Cooper was quiet for a few more seconds, but his eyes stayed on her. Focused. Intense.
Like he could see all the broken pieces and insecurity she still carried. It made her feel exposed in a way that didn’t happen when a phone line sat between them.
With the safety of her cell serving as a middle-man, it was so much easier to forget about all the parts of her that got in the way. Easier to just be in the moment and say what she was thinking. How she felt. It gave her room to start figuring out who she was.
But with Cooper standing beside her—his physical presence reminding her how flipping hot he was—all those inhibitions and self-doubt rushed front and center.
“Can I ask you a question?” His voice was soft. Like it often was as it filtered through her phone late at night.
Her belly clenched a little, nervous over what he might ask. So far, Cooper didn’t know much of anything about Eric or her reasons for being in Moss Creek, and part of her wanted to keep it that way. Wanted to have someone who didn’t judge or pity her for what happened. “Okay.”
“Which one of the goats is your favorite?”
A laugh jumped out, riding on the back of relief. “That’s like asking a mother to pick her favorite kid.”
Cooper grinned. “I might ask you that one day too, just to be a pain in the ass.” He tipped his head. “Unless you don’t want to have kids. Then I’ll ask who your favorite Bridge Bitch is. That one will really start some shit.”
She smiled back at him a second before it slipped, dropping a little. Turning back to watch the goats, she tried to ignore the ache of loss tightening her chest. It was silly for it to be there since she hadn’t actually lost anything. Just the idea of something.
But the pain was a stubborn jerk and persisted, digging deep enough to draw a confession. “I do want to have kids. A lot, actually.” She didn’t look at Cooper. Didn’t want to try to guess what he was thinking, or if he even cared.
“Me too.” He shifted around, folding his arms across the top rail of the wood fence and kicking the toe of a boot onto the bottom one. “I thought I’d have at least five by now.”
Her plan to avoid seeing his face was lost at the revelation. “Five?”
He shrugged. “I’m an only child, so I always wanted a big family.” Cooper almost looked sad. “When my parents moved, they asked me to go with them. But I just can’t imagine leaving this place.”
“So you stayed here alone?” For some reason, she’d assumed Cooper’s whole family was here. That he had a big group of people around him. It was hard imagining him all by himself. At least she had her grandpa here part of the time.
Cooper’s lips barely lifted. “It’s not so bad.” His eyes drifted to the house. “I’ve got friends and work and my horses to keep me busy.”
She took a little breath, settling into the unexpected bit of information. The connection it offered. “I’m not an only child, but my brother is fourteen years younger than I am, so I didn’t really get that sibling sort of thing either.”
It had been hard when Ethan was born to adjust to him being the center of everyone’s attention. He was a sweet kid, and she loved the crap out of him, but having him around almost made her feel even more invisible.
Maybe that’s why she clung to the life she was planning with Eric so hard for so long. Some days it felt like all she really had. It wasn’t great, but it was something.
Now she was starting to realize something wasn’t necessarily better than nothing. In the three weeks she’d known Cooper, they’d talked about more than she and Eric had in the past three years.
“Does that mean you want a big family too?” Cooper flashed a grin. “A bunch of little heathens to entertain each other while you play with your goats and chickens?”
A slow smile curved her lips. That actually didn’t sound half bad. “Maybe.” Isla refocused on the pasture. “Not five though.”
Cooper scoffed. “You said you wanted a lot of kids.”
“I said I wanted kids a lot.” She peeked his way. “It was the amount of want, not the amount of kids.”
“Ah.” He tipped his head in a nod. “In that case, I want a lot of kids a lot.” He sighed. “But if it doesn’t happen, I guess I’ll have to get some goats of my own to keep me company.”
She tried to imagine Cooper ending up alone, but it was impossible. He was too handsome. Too kind. Too giving.
It wasn’t any easier to imagine him married though. Picturing him madly in love with a beautiful woman who was ready and willing to pop out all the babies he wanted had her feeling a little sick.
Which was stupid. Cooper was her friend. He’d said it more times than she could count. She should want him to find love and build the family he so clearly desired.
But she didn’t. Not even a little bit.
Because even though Cooper was genuinely her friend, she was having a hell of a time being his.