Chapter 13
13
Isla
SHE DIDN’T WANT to feel sad right now, but damned if she could stop the swell of emotion threatening to ruin the fun day she was hoping for.
It was just so hard to see all the work and effort Cooper put in here. The time and money he spent making a home for a woman he didn’t even know. Children he didn’t even have.
And Eric couldn’t even be bothered to take her out to dinner occasionally. Couldn’t thank her for paying all their bills and busting her ass while he went through school.
It was another blow to her ego, and it stole away a little of the confidence she’d scrounged up the night before.
“We should probably find me a coat so we can get started with the horses.” She technically wasn’t in a hurry to get back outside. Not when inside was so darn nice.
But every time she looked around, there was another thing Cooper had done in preparation for his future family. An ottoman that opened up to store the blankets they’d all snuggle under. Shelves ready for photos of them together. A walk-in pantry to store the piles of food it would take to feed the five kids he hoped to have. Hardwood floors because carpet would get ruined by muddy little boots, and a couch with washable covers because of all the sticky faces and fingers he expected to have rolling around on it.
“Yeah.” Cooper nodded. “Sure.”
He took her upstairs—which was just as impressive as the main floor from what she could see—leading her into a relatively empty room. As promised, there were a few light jackets inside, but nothing heavy, so they went back downstairs and picked one of Cooper’s from the lineup in the mud/laundry room. They were all way too big, so she settled on the one that fit her best and zipped it up. After pulling on a pair of gloves and a hat, they went back outside, going into the large barn where the horses were.
Only, they weren’t.
“Where are they?” Isla peeked over the top of one of the stall gates, looking for the animals Cooper loved so much.
“They’re outside burning off some steam.” Cooper walked down the center aisle, passing the stalls on his way to the back of the building. “I leave them out a lot when it’s warm outside, but in the winter I try to keep them in at night. They can get a little stir crazy by the morning. I turned them loose before I came to get you hoping they might calm down some.”
“They don’t always come in at night?” She hadn’t paid much attention to the horses at Grady and Evelyn’s because she was more focused on the goats, so all of this was new information. She wanted to soak it all up. Learn everything she could. Just in case she decided to jump all-in and go full on Moss Creek someday.
“No. Not always.” Cooper slid open the back door, stepping out of the way to let her go ahead of him. “When I know the weather’s going to be bad I’ll bring them in, but I try to let them roam around as much as I can.”
She walked out of the building and looked up, surprised to find an overhang still covering her head. One side of the barn continued out, providing a windbreak, but the other two sides were open, allowing the horses to come and go as they pleased.
Cooper whistled, the sound loud enough to grab the attention of the four horses grazing out across the sizable pasture. Their heads lifted, ears perking as they looked for the source of the sound. As they trotted in, a light drizzle started to fall from the sky, misting the already chilly air with a dose of humidity it didn’t need.
She shivered in spite of the warm coat Cooper had bundled her up in and he noticed right away, turning as the first of the animals ducked under the overhang.
“You’re cold.” He moved closer, rubbing her arms as he stepped into the path of the wind beginning to gust. “I think we might have to skip taking a ride today.”
Her teeth were starting to chatter, so she just nodded, trying her best to burrow into the warmth of Cooper’s coat. It was thick and heavy, but was so big there was too much empty space between her body and the fabric for her to be well-insulated. Plus the bottom gaped, letting each blast of wind slide right up and in.
“Let’s get you back inside where it’s a little warmer.” Cooper rested his hands on her shoulders, directing her into the barn. He stopped in front of a low table and turned her to face him. “I’m gonna pick you up, okay?”
She managed a nod, even though it seemed unlikely he’d be able to just?—
Cooper’s hands spanned her waist and he hefted her onto the table without so much as a grunt or grimace.
“Here.” He shucked his coat and layered it over her legs, rubbing both hands up and down her thighs as he watched her face. “Better?”
It was a lot better. In all sorts of ways.
Up to this point, her physical contact with Cooper had been pretty limited. A little shoulder slap here. A palm on her back there. An occasional arm around her shoulders. All of it friendly and innocent. And what he was doing now was probably also innocent. For him.
For her, it was the most intimate touch she’d felt in months. A year? Possibly more if she really thought about it.
The contact Cooper offered was purely to warm her up. To make her feel good. Eric might not have ever touched her for the sole purpose of making her feel good. And that was… Depressing and sad.
“Still cold?” Cooper asked.
She was so messed up after seeing his house and now being touched in such a pure and giving way, that she just nodded even though she was fine.
“Here.” He stepped closer, wrapping both arms around her body and pulling her close, bringing her ass to the edge of the table as her knees parted to bracket each side of his hips. Even with his discarded coat between them, the position was intimate. She was already struggling to control all the emotions rolling around inside, and it was nearly impossible not to react. Not to lean in. Not to tuck her face into the crook of his neck and breathe in the clean, masculine scent of his skin.
“Better?” Cooper’s deep voice rumbled in her ear, low and soft.
“A little.” She was being greedy now, soaking up the physical contact like an addict desperate for a hit. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Cooper ran his hands up and down her back in slow passes, his body warm against hers. “I’m the one who dragged you out here today.”
“I like being out here with you.” She smiled, closing her eyes and enjoying being held. “I probably could have planned for the weather a little better.”
She had plenty of warm clothes and outerwear, but it was geared more to her old office job in the city and not so appropriate for being in a barn. She’d tried to layer on the items she did have, hoping it would be enough. And not a bit of her was sorry it wasn’t. Because Cooper was a great cuddler, and warm as heck.
“We might need to get you some warmer options if you want to keep spending time in the barn.” Cooper pulled her a little closer. “Especially since winter seems ready to get started.”
“That’s a good idea.” She’d go along with anything he said right now. Whatever kept him close and making those soothing strokes against her back. “Does winter always come this early?”
“Not always. But when she does show up, she tends to stick around for a while.”
Cooper jolted, his body bumping into hers. One of his hands left to block the giant head butting against him. “Back off.” He released her, stepping to one side as his focus shifted to the animal nudging between them. “Jealous.”
The horses had wandered into the barn and the biggest was trying—and succeeding—to break up her first snuggle in years. It sucked, but was still kinda cute, so she couldn’t be mad. Smiling at the glossy-coated horse she said, “I’m sorry I was taking all his attention.”
A set of huge nostrils came close, sniffing at her hair and face, checking her over. Then their interrupter nosed at her hands.
“Looks like it’s not my attention he was wanting.” Cooper chuckled as he tried to push the horse away. “Give her some space, Percy.”
“He’s okay.” Isla reached out to smooth over the horse’s cheek. “You’re just excited to meet a new person, huh?” She’d been around Grady’s horses here and there, but hadn’t been this up close and personal with any of them, so their size hadn’t really registered. Not like it was right now with Percy’s face so close to hers. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you?”
“Don’t tell him that.” Cooper gave the horse a swat on his rump. “He’ll never shut up about it, just like every other man.”
Percy made a sneezing sort of sound and stomped one of his feet, like he was talking back to Cooper, and it had her laughing, head tipping back. Percy took advantage of her distraction and tried to move in closer, crowding her to the point she went down, losing her balance and falling backwards with a squeak of surprise.
“Hell.” Cooper shoved his weight into Percy’s front half, managing to get him to step aside. He reached for Isla, hauling her back upright. “You okay?”
She was fine. Sitting on the table hadn’t given her far to go, but his concern warmed her insides just as much as his embrace had before. “I’m good, but I should probably get on my feet.”
She barely had the words out of her mouth before Cooper was scooping her up and carrying her away from the nosy horse. He set her down, but kept his hands on her hips, eyes moving over her as she found her footing. “Good?”
“I’m good.” Mostly .
The emotions she’d been hoping to leave in the house were coming back fast and furiously, threatening to ruin yet another thing she’d been looking forward to.
Fucking assholes.
And fucking asshole. Why was Eric still managing to pee all over her parade? Why was she even comparing the way he’d treated her to the way Cooper did?
There was no comparison. At all. Cooper took better care of her as a friend than Eric had as her boyfriend of almost a decade. As her almost fiancé.
“You sure?” Cooper’s expression filled with concern. “You seem a little off this morning.”
And there it was again. That pang of emotion. Was it regret? Embarrassment? Anger?
All three?
“I think maybe I’m just a little tired.” It wasn’t totally incorrect. She was tired of the cloud that was Eric raining on every sunny spot she found. It was time for him to take his misery elsewhere and ruin someone else’s bright spots.
“Then let’s finish up here so you can go home and get some rest.” Cooper reached down to collect his coat from where it had fallen on the floor when he set her on her feet. His lips lifted in a lopsided grin. “Maybe you can get some for me too since I picked up a shift for Leland tonight.”
Of course he did. The man would do anything for anyone. One of the many reasons she needed to stop holding him up next to Eric. Her poor ex kept looking worse and worse. At some point it was just mean to even put them in the same thought.
Cooper quickly put the horses into their stalls, showing her how to dry them off since the misting rain was clinging to their bodies. Then they gave everyone fresh water and hay, passing out a few treats before leaving for the truck. This time, Cooper led her to the passenger’s seat, loading her in then getting behind the wheel.
As he took her home, Cooper offered to come get her the next day to take her shopping for a heavier coat and she—of course—jumped at the opportunity. It made the slightly depressing revelations of the day a little easier to swallow, but she was still disappointed when he pulled away, leaving her to spend the afternoon and evening ‘relaxing’ while he picked up another shift.
He deserved a day to relax too, but figuring out how to make that happen would be tricky. She couldn’t just demand he take a day off. She was only his friend—not that she would demand that even if they were more.
Her belly did a little flip, her hand pressing against it as she stopped to grab her mail. She’d worked so hard not to think of Cooper as anything more—sometimes more successfully than others—but it was becoming more and more difficult to keep him in the friend zone in her brain.
Opening up her mailbox, her belly did another flip. Not over Cooper, but over the plastic bag inside. She’d been so distracted by Cooper’s house and his horses and his chicks—and him—she’d forgotten about the order she’d placed the night before.
Clutching the bag to her chest, she raced up the steps, feeling a little excited and a little naughty. After letting herself inside, she peeled through the plastic and pulled out the scrap of black laciness.
It was not quite as… much as she expected.
Unfolding it, she held the teeny tiny garment up to her body, frowning down at it. There was no freaking way that thing was going to fit. It barely dangled to her belly button, let alone made it to her crotch.
Sighing, she tossed it onto the table and went to take a shower. After scrubbing off the scent of horse and hay, she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. Remembering the glamorous curls she’d painstakingly crafted the night before, seeing it wet and stuck to her head sent her bruised and tender self-esteem plummeting back toward the ground.
And tried to convince her she was the reason Eric couldn’t be bothered to wipe down a counter, let alone renovate an entire home for her.
“Fucking Eric.” She whipped open the drawer and pulled out her dryer, angrily plugging it in as she flailed around in search of her round brush. “I’m done with his stupid ass.”
It was time—beyond time—to shove his skinny, loser ass out of her brain. And the first step to accomplishing that was to take back what he’d tried to steal from her.
So she blew out her hair, this time managing to make it even smoother and bouncier than she did the night before. Then she contoured, brushing the bronzer over her skin until she was back to feeling herself. A layer of mascara and lip gloss had her chin lifting and her shoulders squared.
Then she went to lay on the couch and watch TV, because it really was hard work to look hot. Her arm was tired from cranking the curls into her hair, and she was emotionally drained from her downward spiral.
She watched a few episodes of a limited series about a detective investigating a suspicious death at the White House, then dragged her butt into the kitchen in search of something to eat. The sun was starting to go down behind the clouds still populating the sky and it cast her apartment in a moody tone of light.
The kind of light that would probably look great in a picture.
She opened up the camera on her phone and aimed it at her face, tipping her head from side to side as she faced one of the floor-to-ceiling windows to capitalize on the last of the light. Her eyes drifted, focusing on the pile of lace on her table in the background.
Might as well try it on. Maybe seeing how hilariously undersized it was would be funny enough to lift her mood.
Snatching it up, she went to her bedroom, peeled off the T-shirt and leggings she’d put on after her shower, and shimmied into the bodysuit. It was surprisingly stretchy and somehow miraculously managed to cover all her bits and pieces.
Well, just barely. But that was sort of the point, right?
Going to the full-length mirror in the corner, she adjusted the shoulder straps and aligned the fit over her boobs and butt. Turning to the side, she frowned, taking in the sight in front of her.
Did she look a little… Sexy?
That didn’t seem right. But there was no denying how nice her boobs looked peeking out of the low neckline. And the high cut of the legs did magical things for her thighs and hips.
“Huh.”
Maybe she needed to look at it from a different perspective. Then it would be easy to identify where it was lacking.
Grabbing her phone, she found her red-headed farmer friend and picked one of his simplest tutorials. After stretching out on her bed like he directed, spreading her hair uniformly, she angled one leg as he suggested and started recording. After a few seconds she stopped and sat up, sliding her finger back and forth as she went through the frames.
Holy shit.
She did look sexy.
A giggle slipped out, her free hand clamping over her mouth like she had to stop it. Like she should feel ashamed or guilty over finding something that knocked down all those bad thoughts she’d been carrying.
Fuck that.
She wasn’t ashamed, and it wasn’t guilt worming through her insides. It was excitement. Relief.
And a little bit of pride.
It was that pride that had her opening up the text string with Cooper and typing out a message.
I have something to show you.
She sent it off, immediately regretting it. What if he thought she was being weird? What if he didn’t get how exciting this was?
Yeah? What is it?
Her heart jumped into her throat at how quickly he responded. That meant his phone was in his hand and he was waiting for her to reply. And it made her want to throw up a little.
I’m nervous.
She chewed her lip, one hand coming to rest on her head as it started to feel a little fuzzy.
Don’t be. It’s just me.
Oh God. What had she done?
What if you don’t like it?
What if it changed everything and he didn’t want to be her friend anymore?
I like all kinds of things.
Just show me.
There was no graceful way to get out of what she’d started. Not unless she wanted to send him a random photo and claim that was what she wanted to show him.
No. She was proud of herself, and he would feel the same way. Cooper appreciated her. Understood her. Cheered her on and supported her.
Before she could come up with more reasons not to, she picked the best of the frames, screenshot it, and dropped it into the window, leg bouncing as she waited to see what he’d say.
The window popped up with three dots.
Then it disappeared.
Then it came back again.
Then it disappeared.
Isla flopped back onto the mattress, throwing one arm over her eyes. “Shit.”
Yep. She might have screwed up.