Chapter 23
23
J ace and Meredith never talked about what Marjory had said that day in the kitchen. Their arrangement was easily forgotten as the day-to-day activities never allowed for downtime and wandering thoughts. Life around the ranch was fast paced, and when Willow returned to school, it meant one less hand to help out.
Pops decided it was his job to armchair quarterback and help with the new calves. He'd sit on the porch and belt out instructions while scrutinizing each step in the locate and tag process. Jace found working beside him bittersweet. Something he’d always taken for granted, Jace now wanted to press pause and enjoy. Whenever possible, he picked his father’s brain about the best times to supplement feed and about the kind they should use. One day he wouldn’t have his old man guiding him through the business, but Jace tried not to let that crippling pain consume him. It was hard enough watching Pops grow weaker.
While that was happening, Meredith was blossoming. She fit in among them snugly, much like the way he fit inside her. Perfectly. Her days were spent canning and freezing fruits and vegetables from the garden and then turning it over for next year’s crops. As fall crept up on them, she decided to try her hand at gourds, pumpkins, and an autumn harvest with parsnips, onions, and peas. Sometimes, she brought the Farmer’s Almanac to bed––having never moved out after Willow left–– and would question him about frost and composting. Lord knows they had enough manure around to help with that, but each time she’d start a discussion about the ranch, they’d end up sweaty. He liked it.
All her talk of what she wanted to do around the place made him horny. Jeez, the things he found sexy. Tuck would laugh if he knew they’d made love the other night after an invigorating discussion about growing butternut squash. Then yesterday she’d found another snake in the chicken coop and had handled it herself. Instant wood. Watching her carry the shotgun had done it. Getting her target in two shots, those firing lessons paying off, had cinched it. He was falling for her.
He liked that her days revolved more around the house and with his mom and Pops than coming out into the pasture or corral. She’d invaded enough of his space that he wasn’t ready to relinquish that part, too.
On the first morning of autumn, he took her out to watch the sunrise, a tradition they’d started and kept with each solstice. He could see them doing it every year, but fantasies like that were hazardous.
It was just as easy to picture them doing the barn dance every year. A family tradition that went back nearly a hundred years, the Shepard’s put on an annual hoedown in their barn. Many of the locals were done with their crops or had finished at auction with their livestock. Now the resetting for next year would begin, but not before they blew off a little steam and energy .
Tonight was the night. Willow was home for the event, and the three Shepard woman had been cooking for three days solid.
Jace moved a few bales of hay to the floor to offer more seating, then looked around the space. They were ready. He watched Meredith set up a table, smoothing the tablecloth before setting the vase of flowers in the center.
This would be the first time, their brief reception aside, that they were among the town folk. They’d talked about going into town for dinner several times but never made it. If something needed to be picked up in town, Meredith and mom went in but never lingered. He got the feeling that Meredith liked to stay on the ranch. When he’d asked her about it, she’d said she’d spent enough time mingling with people to hold her over for a while and she’d let him know when the urge to start back up kicked in. If it ever did.
He had one pressing question that he couldn’t hold back any longer. Only he didn’t know how to ask, afraid it would rock the boat too much.
“You all sure put together a nice feast.” He stood back, looking at the covered dishes on the table she’d just set out. He hoped he wasn’t starting something that could ruin the evening.
“It was fun. Exhausting, but still fun.” She moved to the next table and began moving covered dished from the cart they’d bought in town a few weeks back, proclaiming it would save them work. Not that he wanted to lug each dish from the house to the barn, so he wasn’t about to disagree.
“Listen, Mer, I have an awkward question I need to ask.” He stepped next to her, sliding an arm around her waist, hoping she would see it as a casual yet concerned question and not take offense.
She narrowed her eyes, but her smile didn’t fade. “Okay. I guess I’m ready.”
He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I like when you make your ‘this isn’t going to be good’ face. Your nose crinkles up.”
“Are you stalling?”
“Yes.”
“Jace.” She laughed. “Just ask.”
He huffed out a sigh. “It’s no big deal really.”
“You make it seem like one.”
“A lot of people will be here tonight and in your business. They’ll wonder why you haven’t come to town much, and some might even speculate that you’re hiding out here.”
Her smile dropped. “Some or you?”
“I only want to know if that’s really why you stay away from town. Are you afraid of something? I know I should have asked this earlier, but—”
“It’s true that I don’t want my father to find me. I want time here to know where—” She bit her lip.
“You want to be.” He nodded. Some days he felt like there was no chance she’d ever leave. That their arrangement didn’t make any difference because she knew she belonged here. The question "what next" was always the elephant in the room. They'd become skilled in avoiding it. Instead they'd make love, laugh like fools in the rain at target practice, and he'd slap her ass every day in the kitchen while she made dinner, but none of that meant she was going to stay.
She wrapped her arms around him. “There is always the chance my father will find me, but right now there is no place I want to be but here. There is nothing I need in town. That’s why I don’t go. Not because I’m scared to go into town, but because I don’t want to go.”
“And how will you do tonight with all the people?”
She’d told him about how her father used her to eavesdrop and report. She’d told him about how the migraines had escalated and about the night she decided to take Sabrina up on her offer.
“I’ll make sure to get some fresh air if I feel the slightest one coming on. I don’t see it happening. The few times I’ve been into town with Marjory haven’t caused any, and I’m excited about tonight. It sounds fun.”
No matter how hard she tried to reassure him, he couldn’t help but feel like something bad was waiting in the wings.
“Stop worrying, Jace. Really.” She kissed his chin. “Did I ever tell you Dirty Dancing was my favorite movie? I used to sneak watch it when I was younger. My mom said it was inappropriate for me. Maybe we can try out some of those moves later after the dance. In the privacy of our room.” She wagged her brows.
“I’d like to claim that I’ve never seen it, but Willow’s watched it a ton, and Sabrina talked about it in college so…” He rolled his hips into hers then dipped her back. Her laughter floated across the room.
When she came back up, he pulled her close and began to slow dance, humming an old country tune. She wrapped her arms around his neck and fit herself perfectly against him.
This is what Sabrina had asked him to do. Take a chance. To let himself go, and with Meredith, he found that easy enough these days. Sure, he worried about the day her father would show up, but her interest in the ranch appeared genuine, and that had to count for something.
Right?
They danced for a while, enjoying the quiet and time alone. Occasionally he’d drop a kiss on her neck or shoulder and laugh at the goose bumps that followed.
“Hey,” Willow called out. “You two gonna do that all night, or can we finish setting up? Folks will be coming soon.”
“Go away, Willow. I’m dancing with my wife.” He liked how easily the word rolled from his tongue .
“To no music?”
“That’s how we roll,” Jace said, still guiding her around the room, though this time in an exaggerated waltz.
“Looks like those dance lessons mom made you do are paying off,” Willow said.
He twirled Meredith before bringing her to a stop in front of his sister. “You sure know how to kill a good time, Willow.”
“You’re married. I thought good times were supposed to be over for you.” She punched him in the shoulder then left.
Jace pointed off toward the driveway. “Looks like the party is about to start.”
Meredith followed the direction of his finger and saw several cars headed their way. She sprang into action. “I have to get the rest of the food.”
She dashed from the barn, her pretty, dark green skirt waving around her legs. He liked that she had chosen cowboy boots for her footwear. She wasn’t polished-looking like she had been when she arrived, and he thought she was beautiful then. Seeing her now, she stole his breath; his heart stuttered in his chest then swelled with pride. Sabrina was getting an awesome Christmas gift this year.
Life with a wife had been an easier adjustment than he thought. He attributed that to Meredith. It was because of who she was at her core. She may not have known who she was when she arrived, but maybe she knew now.
Unless she was going from one imposed identity to another. This was his greatest fear, a recurring doubt that sometimes woke him from an exhausted sleep. It kept him from taking the next step, not that he was sure what that should be. Regardless, Jace believed time would tease it all out.
He stepped out of the barn and walked toward the front of the house to direct traffic. Pops leaned against a post on the porch, a big shit-eating grin on his face. Mom, Meredith, and Willow scurried out of the house with arms full of fixings. The sun was setting over the mountains, the breeze dipping into temps that required a lined hoodie. The band, members of the volunteer fire department, struck up their first of several jaunty tunes, and dancing was quick to follow.
Meredith found herself twirled around the floor by several of the older local ranchers. Jace would manage to get in a few strolls around the hay-strewn floor before they’d get interrupted, but Meredith didn’t mind. Marjory and Pops were having fun, everyone was laughing, and it was nothing liked she’d endured with her father. It was so much better, friendlier. It suited her.
She was dancing with Pops, a slow small shuffle step sort of dance when Tuck cut in. Glancing around the room, she found Jace dancing with Tuck’s wife, Mandy, a nice woman Meredith wanted to get to know better. A few times she mentioned Meredith joining her book club, and that appealed to Meredith. Now that things were slowing down on the ranch, she felt comfortable taking time away. The feeling of being a guest, a newcomer, had faded, but showed up occasionally when she and Jace experienced something new together. Like tonight. Sure, she was comfortable, but acutely aware that she was a stranger to these people. They talked about someone’s new baby, and she had no idea who that person was, but she was slowly putting the pieces together and looking forward to next year when she could participate in the conversation.
Meredith smiled at Tuck and thanked him for the dance when it ended.
“Aw, hell Meredith. We're all real glad you're here and I'm looking forward to getting to knowing you better.” He tipped his hat and shuffled off to his wife. Wrapping herself in a hug, Meredith embraced the moment hoping to imprint it on her memory bank. It had been a gamble to trust Sabrina, but oh, so very worth it .
She scanned the room for Jace and saw him sitting on a bale of hay next to his parents, a plate balanced on his knee, his head tossed back in laughter, and Meredith knew. Her awareness of how she felt about him slammed into her like a horse kick to the chest, only it didn't hurt. It was amazing, rippling through her until it encompassed her much like being wrapped in a warm blanket. She felt lucky, happy, and… She searched for the best word to describe what she felt, but it was too new and foreign for her to quickly assign a label.
A tall man, name unknown, rushed by and jumped on a haystack next to her. He gave an ear-ringing whistle and, instantly, the band stopped playing, the dancers a second behind.
“I just got a call from the fire department. A bear mauled old man Beasley. His foreman found him. He’s not sure if he’ll make it. The ambulance is thirty minutes out.” He pointed to Jace and Tuck. “You riding with me?”
Jace nodded once, handed his plate to his mother, then hustled out of the barn, Tuck in the rear. Others followed behind. Willow came up next to Meredith and took her hand.
“What’s happening?” Meredith whispered.
“Leo is the physician’s assistant. He used to be an EMT. They’re going up to Beasley’s place to do what they can until the ambulance gets there. Jace and Tuck are going to provide cover in case the bear is hanging around. If it was a grizzly, they like to come back for their kill.”
Meredith shuddered and gripped Willow’s hand. “The others? Surely, they aren’t going to hunt for the bear in the dark?”
Willow shook her head. “No, but they’ll go up and do a look around the property. Other’s will go home and get sleep so the search can start early tomorrow.”
A million questions needed to be asked .
“Let’s start packing up food.” Willow tugged her toward the tables where people were making quick work of cleaning up.
Unable to focus on anything but Jace, Meredith found herself drawn to the front of the barn. Jace was getting into his pickup, a shotgun over his shoulder. He glanced her way, gave a brief nod, then climbed in the truck and was gone.
Later that night, she laid in bed, alone, waiting for Jace to return, fading into sleep, only to jerk awake as she repeated the nightmare of a giant bear attacking Jace. Sometime in the deep night, exhaustion finally claimed her. It had provided a fitful rest that was later interrupted with the rooster’s crow. His side of the bed was empty, the sheets tucked under his pillow and the spot cold.