Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Theo
Moonlight streams through the blinds of my bedroom window, and I blink lazily, taking a deep breath. I roll over, stretching, absentmindedly wondering what woke me before closing my eyes and preparing to drift back off.
But then a soft noise pierces the stillness of the air, soft enough that I almost don’t notice it.
Whimpering.
I still, frowning into the darkness.
And there it is again. Soft, quiet … crying.
I get out of bed, wiping the grogginess from my eyes as I cross the room and open my door. I creep tentatively across the hall toward Cora’s room, listening intently. And as I suspected, the noise must be her.
I hesitate, wondering if it’s simply best if I leave her alone. But a sudden sharp cry from behind the door has my hand raising to knock gently against the wood. “Cora?” I call quietly.
She doesn’t respond, but the quiet whimpering continues.
“Cora?” I call again.
Something that sounds more like a scream than a cry wafts through the door, and suddenly I’m opening it, stepping into the dark room. My eyes land on her immediately, thrashing under the covers as she babbles incoherently.
And then it hits me. She’s dreaming. The nightmares she talked about. This must be one of them.
“Cora!” I call as gently as I can, moving to the side of the bed and grasping her shoulders. She struggles against me, and I try my hardest to wake her without scaring her. “Cora, wake up,” I plead.
She whimpers again, and even though logically, I know she’s safe—she’s right here, tucked into bed, right next to me—something in my chest clenches painfully. “Cora!” My fingers dig into the flesh of her upper arms, shaking her gently.
She gasps, and her eyes open. She looks around, and then her gaze lands on mine in the dark. Grief and fear slowly subside into confusion, then understanding.
“Theo?” she breathes.
“You were dreaming,” I whisper, my hands instinctively rubbing her arms.
She nods, swallows, and sits up stiffly. She’s quiet, her eyes darting around the room, seemingly trying to shake off the dream that probably felt all too real. There are tears staining her cheeks, and the oversized t-shirt she was sleeping in is twisted and tangled around her torso.
My hands drop from her shoulders, but then she’s reaching for me, her arms around my neck, her face buried in my chest as she takes in a shuddering breath.
Immediately, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her tightly against me.
I can feel the wetness of her tears soaking through my thin t-shirt, but I don’t care.
I rock her gently back and forth, squeezing her tight and shutting my eyes.
“You’re okay, Cora,” I whisper. “It was just a dream.”
She nods into my chest with another shuddering breath.
And suddenly it hits me how often these dreams must plague her.
And that she lived in that cabin on the ranch all alone.
There was never anyone there to calm her back to sleep, not even a roommate to talk to.
I wonder if she spent nights wandering down to the mess hall to make herself a cup of tea. All alone.
I wish I could have been there.
After a long moment, Cora pulls back, wiping her face.
“You feeling better?” I ask quietly.
She nods.
It feels wrong to leave her here, but I’m also becoming acutely aware of how I just barged into her space. This is her room, her bed, and she’s wearing nothing but a t-shirt. I move to stand, clearing my throat. “Can I get you anything?” I ask.
She shakes her head, wrapping her arms tightly around her body.
Fuck, she looks so small. And scared.
I turn, but her voice stops me.
“Theo?”
I look back to her.
“Can you … stay?”
A mixture of emotions hit me so hard I almost fall over. Shock, nerves, but above all—relief. “Yes,” I breathe.
“I really don’t want to be alone,” she adds, her voice so small.
“You don’t have to explain,” I say, moving to the bed and sitting back down.
But she’s scooching over, pulling the covers back. “You can get in the bed,” she says.
My eyes widen, and I hope she doesn’t notice in the darkness. But I do as she says, stiffly lying in the open spot beside her, pulling the covers over me until we’re both lying on our sides in the darkness, facing each other.
“Can I … hug you?” she asks.
“Of course.” The words barely make it past my lips, my heart beating so fast I know I won’t be able to fall asleep anytime soon.
Cora snuggles up to me, her arms snaking around me, her face once again buried in my chest. She takes a deep breath, and then I can practically feel the remnants of the dream leaving her mind as her body relaxes completely against me.
I stare into the blackness of the room, forcing myself to breathe evenly, not to move a muscle, not to move anything—although I’m worried Cora can feel the intense beating of my heart and there’s nothing I can do about that.
The smell of her shampoo, something floral and citrusy, invades my nostrils, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
Holy shit.
This might just be the most euphoric yet uncomfortable moment of my life. I could hold Cora like this for the rest of eternity—my stiff muscles be damned.
It isn’t long before Cora’s breathing slows, and her arm goes limp around me.
It’s then that I take a moment to press a soft kiss to the top of her head, lingering just a bit longer than necessary to breathe in the scent of her.
And then I settle in for a long night, knowing I probably won’t sleep but that nonetheless, I wish this moment would last forever.