Chapter 14
C onrad Walker had never worn a black suit he hated more than the one currently covering his body. Because he had to wear this one to say goodbye to his grandmother.
The west Texas sky stretched pale and cloudless above the ranch in Three Rivers, a bowl of blue that should’ve felt comforting. Familiar. But today it felt too open, like the heavens had yawned wide to make room for a soul that belonged more to them than to him.
“Daddy,” Sari whispered, her small hand tangled in his. “Is Grams gonna miss the donkeys?”
His throat closed. He crouched to meet her eyes, the dark brown ones she’d inherited from him. “Yeah, I’m sure she will, buggy.” He gave her a smile as Glory Rose came to his side. “Who wouldn’t miss the donkeys?”
He smoothed Sari’s hair and straightened, leaning into the strengthen of his good wife. She put one hand gently against his back in a solid, quiet way that always grounded him. “Is it time to go?”
She nodded, and her presence steadied him as they made their way back to the house, and then into the truck. Conrad loved driving around town, because his mind could move however it wanted, and he usually ended up somewhere amazing.
Today, he arrived at the church just down the road, and he, Glory Rose, and Sari moved down the aisle to the front row, where the pews had been reserved for his family.
The triplets had already arrived, and Elaine stood to give him a hug. Then she took Sari and returned to Momma’s side. Conrad hugged Easton and then Austin, finally latching onto his father, relieved that his daddy was there.
His daddy has always been there for Conrad, and he so wanted to be that kind of father to his own children.
“She’s not really gone,” Daddy said, and Conrad nodded. Daddy released him, and Conrad reached over the back of the pew to squeeze Uncle Jeremiah’s hand, and then Uncle Skyler’s.
They all wore a similarly deep, dark midnight suit that Conrad did, as well as their best black cowboy hats. Conrad’s came from his wedding, and he found it such a full-circle moment to be wearing the hat today, at Grams’s funeral.
He nodded to JJ down at the end with Ruby, and he could spend the whole day acknowledging friends and family who’d come to celebrate the life of Penny Walker.
For all around him, the town had gathered—Glory Rose’s aunts, uncles and cousins, the Ackermans and Marshalls from Three Rivers Ranch.
Alex and Nikki Baxter, and the Rhineharts, the Bellamores, the Franklins. It felt like a parade of ranch-hardened men and the women who loved them who’d come to pay their respects to the woman who’d loved them all like they were hers.
Conrad unbuttoned his jacket and sat down, finding his place easily with Glory Rose, with his core family, and with the Walkers as a whole.
He also felt like such a huge part of the Three Rivers community, the way Grams had.
She’d loved everyone she met, and Conrad remembered when his grandmother had graduated from law school.
The whole town had shown up then, with the Glovers setting up a huge egg display to pronounce their congratulations.
He smiled, because he’d heard Grams’s stories about growing up on an egg farm dozens of times. Whenever he’d complain about something like having to empty half the dishwasher, she’d tell him, “It could be worse. You could be outside in the heat, racking eggs.”
At the same time, she’d always spoken fondly of life on the egg farm, which she’d left young to be one of the first female students in the law department—which she hadn’t graduated from until she was almost seventy years old and had raised her seven sons.
He closed his eyes and listened to the pianist play pretty music. He’d often caught Grams sitting just like this before church services began, and as a little boy, he’d thought she was napping. Once, he’d even asked her, “Grams, you sleepin’?”
She’d pulled him close and kept him safe and protected under her wing. “No, baby,” she’d whispered. “I’m focusing on God, and sometimes I do that best with my eyes closed.”
Conrad couldn’t really hear the sound of her voice anymore, and she’d only been gone for a few days. His chest tightened, and Conrad did his best to breathe through it. He hadn’t planned any of this funeral, despite being the one who lived with Grams.
She had a will, and she’d talked to him about it many times, and her plans for her funeral had been contained inside that.
He focused on God, the way Grams had taught him, and immense gratitude filled him that he hadn’t had to find Grams in the morning after she’d died in her sleep at night. No, she’d been ill for the past couple of weeks, and everyone in the family had known she wouldn’t make it much longer.
She’d died at home, yes, but with everyone she loved surrounding her, her hand solidly in Daddy’s…until it wasn’t such a firm grip anymore.
He breathed in deeply and reached for Glory Rose’s hand. She squeezed his hand, and he opened his eyes. She looked at him, and Conrad gave her the smallest smile he’d ever managed. This hurt , and the worst part was, he wouldn’t have Grams waiting at home to comfort him through it.
The piano trailed off, and Conrad shifted his attention to the stage and pulpit up front just as Cactus Glover slid onto the bench in front of the organ. The older cowboy took a deep breath, then placed his hands on the keys.
The powerful pipe organ filled the church in one awesome note, and Conrad grinned and grinned. Grams hated it when the organ was too quiet at church, and she would love this loud, almost obnoxious organ.
He played through a couple of measures, and then the choir began. Down the pew, Daddy started to clap, and when Conrad looked his way, he found his father grinning from ear to ear.
“Momma loved this hymn,” he said right out loud, and that made Conrad’s heart happy too. He started to clap along too, and before long, everyone in the congregation stood, singing and clapping along with the choir.
His eyes caught on the glossy oak casket, the dozens of deep red roses arranged on top like a crown. He’d help bear Grams to her final resting place beside Gramps, and as the song finished and the congregation returned to their seats, a slip of joy moved through him.
I will always be with you.
The words slithered through his mind, and he did hear it in Grams’s voice. Tears flooded his eyes as Willa Glover made her way to the mic.
Grams had told him so many times that she’d always be with him. When he went to college. When he’d come home and started his own business. When he’d bought the farm from his grandparents. And just last week, the day before she’d passed.
He pressed his fist to his heart, the way the Glovers always did, hoping to seal Grams in his heart forever. He knew he’d need her to get through the things he still had coming in his life.
“I asked her once,” Willa said in her beautiful, smooth, graceful voice. “What she thought the most important thing in life was. She smiled at me and said, ‘Mercy, Willa. People need mercy more than they know. It’s how God loves us, and it’s how we ought to love each other.’”
Conrad let out a shaky breath, because Grams had been the first and quickest to forgive him. Even with all the things he’d done, she’d been there, standing in the doorway, arms open—just the way he believed Jesus had done for her when she’d finally returned to His rest.
She wouldn’t be just in the other room anymore, and he couldn’t text or call her when something troubled him. But Conrad absolutely believed that Grams was still with him, and would always be with him.
She was gone, yes.
But she’d never, ever be forgotten.