Chapter Sixteen #2
Violet’s husband quickly did just that, stuffing the length of silk into his coat pocket. “You know, I was worried about how this would go.” He gestured between them. “But I’m beginning to think you and I could be friends.”
“Or family,” Hayden said gruffly, imagining Evie would approve.
She’d be even happier if he told Vi he had no hard feelings.
Hayden heaved a sigh, accepting what had to be given—forgiveness—and ordered another shot.
*
After dinner, Hayden and Eve made their farewells to her family and walked hand in hand toward Hayden’s truck in the parking lot while her family walked in the other direction.
Eve didn’t know where she stood with Hayden. After his trip to the bar, he’d returned to their table and reassured Vi that he harbored no ill will about the past. What a surprise! And then, he hadn’t treated Eve any differently than he did when Rhett was around.
Increasingly, Eve wasn’t sure how to read how Hayden felt about her. He guarded his true feelings about her more securely than a high-stakes poker player.
“We should invite your family out to the ranch.” Hayden opened the door for Eve.
She didn’t get in. “You surprise me.” Confused her, more like.
“I surprise you?” Hayden wore that unreadable smile of his. The polite one he used when she steered conversations in directions he didn’t like. “There’s a new one.”
Eve couldn’t believe it. “Are you drunk?”
Hayden laughed. “Evie.” He placed his hands on her hips. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
“What are you up to?” The night breeze was chilly. She shivered, not having brought a sweater.
“Nothing… I…” Hayden moved closer, lowering his voice to a secret-sharing whisper. “I like what we’ve got going here.”
Me too.
Eve’s heart began beating faster.
“Before, I always kept things casual with women,” Hayden admitted, his voice low and rough, as if his words came from a long-forgotten place and had to be forced out for her to hear.
“Distance kept me safe. But with you…” His hands moved from her hips to her neck, fingers spearing into her hair.
“I don’t want distance. I don’t want a pillow between us in bed.
I don’t even want to respect our divorce date. ”
Eve’s mouth went dry.
This is it. He’s going to tell me he loves me.
All the doubt… All the worry… She’d been right to trust he’d come to love her.
“I want to stay in our friendship-based marriage.” Hayden’s words took a beat to sink into Eve’s love-fogged brain.
She jerked back.
“Hey.” Hayden widened his stance, bumping his hat brim higher on his face. “Did our wires get crossed? I thought you’d be happy to stay together. That kiss seemed to say we’re hitting our groove.”
Eve had been chilled by the high-country breeze, but now she felt like a snowstorm was raging inside of her. A white hot cold. She pushed Hayden even further away. “We’re not going to have a friendly marriage with benefits.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” Hayden replied, leaning in to peer at her face. “Are you upset?”
“Yes!”
“Why? Am I misreading things?”
“Yes!” She came forward and pushed him again. “There’s no way I’d stay in this marriage longer than six months without love.”
Hayden had nothing to say to that. His expression hardened.
“What I’m saying is that I’m not afraid of love.” And she was saying it at top volume.
“But love disappointed you,” Hayden said quietly. “It broke your heart.”
“No. That was Steven.” Her words felt sharp and cold, the way she felt inside. Rejected and angry because of it. “I’m not like you. I still believe in love.” I love you. She shook her head vigorously. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“I always want to listen to you,” Hayden said, still using his calm, quiet voice. “You’re my wife. And you could be for a lot longer than six months.”
“What?” Eve tossed her hands. “You don’t love me.”
Hayden rocked back on his heels as if she’d shoved him again. “I don’t understand. We have chemistry.”
“But you don’t love me and you never will.
” Eve crossed her arms over her chest, holding herself together when hope was shattering into little pieces inside.
But she forced herself to continue, to make him see.
“I’m grateful that you married me, Hayden.
I really am. But I can’t extend our divorce date indefinitely just because you’ve decided a marriage between friends suits you. ”
Here. Here was the place to stop. But Eve couldn’t.
“I love you, Hayden. I’ve always loved you.” She gulped. “But if you can’t love me back, I will sign divorce papers in six months.” And then Eve capped off her completely foolish, out-of-control rant by wrapping her arms around Hayden and kissing him for all she was worth.
But love and kisses…they weren’t enough.
I’m not enough.
Eve had initiated a kiss with Hayden, and he didn’t kiss her in return.
She dropped back on her heels, but she couldn’t take those three words back. She could see that by the guarded look in his dark eyes. The walls were coming back up.
Eve walked stiffly around the back of the truck, got in the cab, and strapped herself in.
For what turned out to be a very quiet ride home.