Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
W ith Mama’s farewell hug still warm around her, Ellie wrapped her coat tighter, hoping to keep Mama’s hug close as the wind danced around her. When she got to Jim’s truck, she stopped and held her face into the icy breeze.
“What you doing?” Jim asked, a light teasing in his voice.
“This…this is what I missed,” she said, lowering her eyes from the sky to meet Jim’s.
“This?”
“Yes, the feeling of magic coming.” She smiled and covered her mouth as a silly giggle tried to escape. “Childish, I know. But don’t you feel it?”
“I feel a storm coming,” Jim said, looking into the darkening sky. “And one that will probably bring snow.”
“Exactly,” she said, twirling around as aspen leaves whipped around her.
Jim shook his head and opened her door. “I think the city took your senses away.”
She stopped and looked at him seriously. “I think that’s exactly what it did. I lost my ability to sense things, to taste things, to really feel.”
“Well, let’s jumpstart them back, huh?” He nodded for her to climb in, then shut the door behind her.
Could it be that easy? Just a few days back home to realize what life was really about?
“You got the list?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, pulling the folded paper from her pocket. “I have two recipes to try with some alterations, and I’m hoping our little grocery store has the right ingredients.”
“They’ve been trying to stay with the times,” he said with a wink.
Christmas music greeted them as they climbed out of the truck. Speakers lined the covered sidewalk, playing Jingle Bells, and sent shivers of delight down Ellie’s spine.
Sure enough, they found all the ingredients on her list. “I thought for sure we’d have trouble finding almond flour here.”
“Maybe Christmas Tree Hill isn’t as bad as you think, huh?” He smiled at her on the drive out of town.
“Yeah, maybe…” she said, her voice trailing off while her thoughts pulled her into possible futures. She had spent her teenage years counting the days until graduation and the time she could leave this place, but in the last two years, she realized there were many things she had missed about it. Except, as her thoughts went last night, she hadn’t missed everything.
“What?” Jim asked, glancing between her and the road as he turned up the long, bumpy drive of the ranch.
She shook her head. Burdening him with the oppressing life at her parents’ wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t like it was awful. Her parents loved her in their own way. It was just since her dad’s accident, her parents were always overwhelmed, tired, and busy. It wasn’t their fault.
She leaned forward to take in the ranch, the steep drive, the tall pines and firs with a few cedars mixed in. The driveway came to a large flat where the barn, paddock, and ranch house sprawled. “I’ve forgotten how big this piece of land is.”
“Oh, yeah.” Jim put the truck in park. “They’ve got plans for a lot of it, but I’m not sure they’ll get around to it. Boss has been dropping hints of moving to his kids’ place down in the valley.”
“Oh, no!” She covered her mouth and looked at him, dread filling her. “What will you do then?”
Jim’s shoulders dropped. “I don’t know. Find another ranching job, maybe? If nothing else, I could get a job at the mill with my dad and brother.” He turned toward her as she shivered. After what had happened to her dad, he knew that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Don’t worry, Ellie-bird. Everything always falls into place, just as it’s meant to be.”
“I don’t know how you can always be so positive, Jimmy. There’s so much to this life…” The sinking dread of the future filled her. At one time, she had looked forward to it as the freedom of flight, but she didn’t belong in the fast-paced city full of pretentious petty people. She didn’t belong at home, either.
“Well, the good news is we don’t have to figure everything out all at once. Let’s just enjoy this Christmas season together, okay?” He touched her cheek, sliding his finger down her jaw to lift her chin.
His smile was contagious, and his encouragement as well. Today they didn’t need to figure out life, just how to make a grain free, sugar free cookie for Mama.
“You’re right. Let’s do this!” She hopped out of the truck before he had the chance to open the door for her. The smell of horses and hay and the sharp tang of evergreen trees filled her senses, and she lifted her nose to breathe it in even deeper. “No wonder you love working here so much.”
Jim came around the truck, a smile of contentment on his lips. “Yeah, I love this place.”
“Hey kids,” Mr. Christiansen said in greeting as he came from the barn.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Christiansen,” Ellie said with a little bob of her head. “You have a beautiful ranch, sir.”
The older man smiled. “I’m glad you like it, dear. Jim here is helping us out quite the bit. Do you know he’s even trying to talk us into having a Christmas tree farm?”
Ellie snapped her eyes to Jim. “Really?”
Jim’s cheeks pinked, and he lifted a shoulder. “Seems like a good idea. They grow like weeds up here, and they’re the prettiest trees.” He turned to his boss. “I thought maybe I could take Ellie up to cut one for her family, if that’d be okay, sir?”
“Of course, son.” He moved towards the house. “Well, come on in. The missus has lunch ready for everyone, and then she tells me you guys are going to use her kitchen?” He lifted an eyebrow.
“We’re going to make a special recipe for Jim’s mama.” Ellie smiled at Jim, then at Mr. Christiansen.
“Well, that’s mighty sweet of you two.” He opened the door, and they stepped into the warm, savory smelling house.
This was what a home should feel like. The sensation filled Ellie with such longing, she almost tripped over the mat in the doorway. Mrs. Christiansen was coming from the kitchen and caught her arm. “Watch your step, dear. It’s good to see you, Ellie. Our Jim sure has been missing you.”
“It’s good to be back in Christmas Tree Hill,” Ellie said, knowing she could say that honestly. “My mother sends her thanks for the eggs.”
Mrs. Christiansen waved them off. “Ever since Jim convinced us to set up that heat lamp in the coop, the hens have happily been laying like it was spring.”
Jim turned and ducked his head as he hung his hat and coat. He took her coat as well. Sitting at the big farm table in the Christiansens’ kitchen and enjoying a wonderful lunch with them gave Ellie the feeling of what she wanted her future to look like. They talked the entire time, mostly about the history of the ranch and how much Jim’s help meant to them.
When the Christiansens left to visit some friends in town, leaving Ellie and Jim to the task at hand, she turned to him as he pulled out the mixing bowls and utensils they needed. “I had no idea there was so much history on this ranch.”
“Oh yeah, it’s an incredible place. It boggles my mind that not even one of their kids want to continue the tradition.” Jim’s shoulders dropped. “I think that’s hard on them.”
“I’m sure it is, but children have to be free to make up their own minds and live their own lives,” Ellie said, hearing the pragmaticness of her own words.
“Well, look who’s all grown up,” Jim said, smiling and knocking into her. “I’m sure it will feel different when we’re the parents, though.”
“Sure, but I hope we’ll love our children enough to let them lead their own lives.”
Jim’s mouth dropped open, and it took Ellie a few seconds to realize what she had said. She stammered, but firmly closed her lips, knowing she’d only dig herself into a hole. As the words tumbled over in her mind, she wondered if that’s really what she wanted—a life with Jim and children of their own. The words had come out so easily.
Her mom’s advice from the night before echoed within her. “You don’t want to end up like me, honey, dirt poor with too many children to feed. Take the opportunity your auntie is giving you. She got out; you can too.”
But was that what Ellie wanted?
J im’s plan would really start in full force today. After Church, Ellie would come with him to the ranch for a ride and then dinner at the ranch house. He envisioned them riding through the firs, picking out their favorite tree, and wondered if she would feel free enough to talk about the future like the statement she had made yesterday.
He would never forget the feeling it gave him to have her talk about their future children. The red in her cheeks and her turning quickly away to focus on baking only made him realize even more how much he wanted that to happen for both of them, even if she was too shy to speak about it.
The moment also showed him he needed to continue to tread lightly and not push the future as much as he wanted to. He needed her to be ready, but just in case, he patted his pocket to make sure it was still there…you never knew when an opportunity might arise.
He gripped the railing of the paddock, watching the horses graze before it was time to leave for church. The sky held the same ominous covering and icy breeze as yesterday, though the threat of snow hadn’t come to fruition. He hoped it wouldn’t today, either.
Mr. Christiansen met him at the gate after coming out to warm up his truck, so it was comfortable for his wife. “I kept thinking we’d wake up to snow, but it’s not here yet.”
“No, sir, and I’m hoping it holds off just a bit longer.”
“Oh, that’s right, your ride with Ellie is today.” His boss winked at him. “I’m glad she loves the ranch.”
“Me, too,” Jim said, pushing his hat back slightly to get a better look at his boss. “I’m sorry you’re having to consider selling it.”
Mr. Christiansen sighed. “Yeah, every father hopes his son follows in his footsteps. We even held out hope for the grandkids, but they’re city kids and don’t understand the value of a hard day’s work.”
“It’s a different kind of work,” Jim said. He had more respect than others he knew for people who could sit in an office or cubicle all day. Those jobs had to be done, too, and he was grateful he didn’t have to do them.
“I guess you’re right. Well, the Good Lord gave us you, and we’re grateful for that.” His boss slapped him on the back.
“And I’m grateful for the experience you have given me over these last many years, sir. I’m sorry I can’t help with your decision.” Jim held out his hand to shake the older man’s.
Mr. Christiansen smiled a secret sort of smile. “Oh, son, I think you’ve helped more than you know.” He glanced up at the house as his wife came through the door. “Well, looks like it’s time. We’ll see you there.”
“Yes, sir,” Jim said, leaving to climb into his truck and follow them into town.
At church, Jim sat with his parents, watching Ellie with her four younger sisters all piled into a pew. Her parents looked haggard, even more than usual, and he wondered how he could help them as the preacher spoke about the gift of Christmas and how they could give back.
Once the sermon was over, Ellie found him and hugged his parents.
“How’s your mom doing, El?” Mama asked. “Is she happy to have your help?”
Ellie’s face paled more than it already was, and Jim realized that her eyes had dark smudges under them. “Oh, I don’t know, Mama.” She glanced at her mom, who corralled the girls at the far end of the building. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just adding to the stress.” She looked at Jim. “Would you mind if we do a little shopping before we go for our ride? My sisters are desperate for clothes and shoes and my parents…” She trailed off and Jim understood what she didn’t say.
Since her dad had lost his hand in an accident at the mill, things had been extra tight at her house, but the Watkins had their pride and didn’t accept help readily.
“If your mom doesn’t need your help…” Mama glanced at Jim’s dad, who gave her a slight nod, then back to Ellie. “If we wouldn’t be inconveniencing your family, I have a proposition for you.”
Ellie cocked her head, and Jim turned fully to his mom as well, wondering what she had up her sleeve.
“Well, I’m having trouble figuring out how to cook meals I’m allowed with my new restrictions that still taste good enough Pops will eat them.” Mama laughed her deep-throated laugh. “I know that you went to become a baker, but we thought you might know a few things about cooking as well. Plus, I’m not up to my old energy, so I could use some help around the house.”
“Mama,” Jim said, heat filling his cheeks at the fact she would ask so much of Ellie.
“Oh, I’m not talking about doing this out of the goodness of her heart, honey.” She patted Jim’s hand and turned back to Ellie. “I’d give you room and board and some extra besides,” Mama said. “We’re not rich, but we’ve got a cushion.”
“I would love that,” Ellie said immediately.
Jim turned, ready to tell her she didn’t have to do that, but when he saw the relief shining in her eyes, he clamped his lips tight.
Christmas Tree Hill didn’t have much in the way of shopping, but they did have the feed store, the General Store, and a second- hand store. Ellie admired the snow landscape design on the glass door of the second-hand store when they entered.
“I know these aren’t new clothes, but I can get more for my money here. Besides, the selection isn’t great at the feed store, and my sisters don’t want to go around in the shirts they have at the merchant store spouting Visit Christmas Tree Hill.” She smiled, although it seemed strained.
“Ellie, if you need help…I’ve got some saved up. I could take you down into Juniper to get clothes for your sisters.”
“That’s sweet, Jimmy, but it’ll be okay. They have their hand-me-downs. It’s just they tend to get rougher the lower they go, and poor Jenny hardly gets anything but rags by the time they get down to her.”
“I brought some things from the city for them, but I didn’t think about shoes. With the snow coming in…” She lifted a shoulder and started browsing.
Jim wasn’t much for shopping, but he helped as best he could. Internally, though, he was jittery to get her back to the ranch before the sky let loose.
As it was, they made it just as the first few snowflakes fell. His heart dropped as they did, but Ellie jumped out of the truck and started twirling.
“Snow!” The look of pure joy that filled her face made his disappointment fizzle.
He leaned against the fence and watched her, his heart filling with contentment. He could spend every day just watching her. When she finally came over to him, her cheeks pink from the cold and happiness, he gently wiped a snowflake from her cheek. “So I guess you aren’t too disappointed about missing out on a ride?”
“Missing out? Oh…is it too cold for the horses?”
“Well, no…I just thought, I mean, it’s awfully cold…for you.”
“It’s not coming down hard yet, and I’ve got good gear.” She nodded back to the truck where she had put the bag she had brought to church.
“You mean you still want to go?” Jim pushed off the fence, hope filling him as he saw the adventurous girl he had fallen in love reappearing in her older self.
“If the horses will be okay, you bet! I’ve been looking forward to this since you told me. Besides, I want to see your Christmas Tree Farm idea.” Her smile lit a fire in him, and he hastened to prepare for the ride.