Chapter 9
Coming in from the range, Rusty pulled up his horse as his innards twisted and tumbled with that familiar feeling of dread, despite the picture-perfect summer day.
“What’s wrong?” Lexi, his sister, rode her horse up beside him.
She knew what was wrong, or at least she should have. He didn’t answer her, just stared ahead, his body not wanting to give the command to move.
“Still?” she asked.
It had been years. Twenty-one years, in fact. And at least five years since he’d been by the pond. He used to force himself to go there as some sort of punishment. And to talk to Hank.
She reached over from her horse, a beautiful chestnut mare with the same color coat as Lexi’s hair color, and patted his hand, which was tightly gripping the pummel. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”
“That’s not a luxury I have.” He would never forget. He would never let himself forget.
“What do you want to do? We could go around by the old cabin, but that would add another half hour at least. And I have someone coming to your house who I have to meet.”
She had taken to referring to their former family home as his house now that he was staying there. And with his parents’ arrival for their summer visit, he could almost believe nothing had changed. When so much had. Except the pond.
“You’re right. It will be faster this way.” He could handle it. He’d been handling it for twenty-some years now.
Lexi always had something to do and was always in a rush to do it. And she wasn’t above roping him in to do it with her, as she had that morning to help repair a fence in the far pasture on their old ranch. But since they’d started out from Cort’s place, they hadn’t had to go by the pond on their way out.
She nudged her horse to move out. He followed. The sky was a deep blue, the air was dry, the breeze warm as it ruffled the pasture grass encircling the watering hole. Against the distant backdrop of the mountain range, the bucolic setting belied its history.
As they neared the pond, he realized he couldn’t just pass without saying something. Like a prayer.
“I’m stopping,” he called out to her.
He turned the horse toward the grassy knolls that surrounded the pond. It still served the purpose of supplying water for cattle when they were in the pastures that encompassed it. But since that dreadful day, to his knowledge, no one had taken a swim in it or, heaven forbid, ice skated on it since. His sisters had used the creek instead, though they would have probably loved to use the pond on hot summer days.
He nudged the horse into a gallop, and the pounding of hooves matched the beats of his heart, until he pulled up on the banks. He heard more hoof beats behind him. He wished she hadn’t followed. He’d prefer to be alone with his thoughts.
He reined the horse to the left to trot nearer to the spot where it had happened. Where the ice had broken that fateful day. The spot wasn’t hard to find despite the grasses that waved in the slight breeze, because he’d cajoled his dad to mark it with a large boulder so he would always be able to find it.
The extra set of hoof beats had stopped. Maybe she had sense enough to leave him be.
He spotted the boulder’s craggy gray surface peeking out of the high grass. When close to it, he slid off the saddle and led the horse to the boulder, where he looked out on the calm, deep-blue water, which belied the tragedy that had occurred there.
He checked the grasses around the rock to make sure no snakes slithered in the path and then bent to one knee, the reins in his hand. He removed his hat and listened to a distant bird warble its song.
“Is that you, Hank?” He referred to the bird. His throat tightened. “It’s been a while. Wouldn’t blame you if you’ve moved on, hopefully found your place of rest. But if that’s here, I just want to say howdy. Want you to know I’ll never forget you. Or forgive myself. I’m sorry I couldn’t, didn’t, do more. Not strong enough back then. Had to run for help. I thought that was best.” Should he have stayed and tried to save Hank alone? He’d asked that question a million times, a question that would haunt him for eternity. “I’ve asked you many times to forgive me, though I’ll never forgive myself. I pray you are happy in heaven, for where else would you be. We were too young to get into anything more than a little mischief.” His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and he labored for breath. “Like skating on a pond before it was fully frozen.” He brushed at his wet eyes.
He doubted he’d ever be clear eyed when thinking of Hank.
“I’ve left the air force. Looking to do some good here at home. Maybe joining the local police. In your name, for your forgiveness, I feel it’s my duty to try and save people. Still get cut up something awful when a rescue goes sideways though.” The nightmares would come roaring back, plaguing him for weeks. Sometimes months. “That’s a legacy I’ll just have to deal with. Miss you, buddy. May God grant you peace.”
He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he rose. He should come back more often now that he was calling this home. Had his father sold it to developers, the pond might be part of a park and other kids would be skating on it, unaware of what had transpired there. He was grateful Cort had purchased the property, kept the pond and the rock.
He plopped his hat onto his head and mounted the horse. Only then did he look. His sister had stopped about forty yards away and was just watching. He wondered if she’d said a prayer. She’d been too young at the time to understand what had happened, and his parents had rarely brought it up except to forbid anyone from using the pond. Because of a calamity, they had said, without ever describing the calamity. As far as he knew, his sisters had obeyed. Eventually they’d learned the story, as happened in small communities, and there was no need to forbid after that.
He turned the horse around and rode past her at a walk. He didn’t say a word. Neither did she.
With his sister beside him, Rusty walked out of the new prefab equipment barn Cort had installed—to replace the weathered wooden structure that used to house the family’s ranch equipment—and looked straight at the pretty blonde leaning against her red car.
“You could have given me a heads-up,” Rusty said to his sister.
Kristy was dressed in a blue T-shirt and snug jeans that accented her curves. The breeze brushed a lock of her hair across her face, and she swept it back into place. Her eyebrows arched above the large sunglasses just as she caught sight of him.
She looked good. Better than good.
Lexi sidled up to his side. “I was afraid you’d run.” Her voice was low. “I invited her here so she could figure out what kind of bales she wants for the maze and give us a count.”
“Straw, right? Hay is too dusty.” Rusty growled the words. He’d finally gotten Kristy’s agreement, sort of, that they could see each other, maybe, and here he was in her face again. She was sure to feel set up. Hell, he felt like he’d been set up.
“Whatever she decides. She seemed eager to come out.” His sister pasted on a smile as she moved past him. “Kristy. So glad you could make it. Perfect timing. We just got in from doing some fence work.” She reached out her hand.
“Great.” Kristy shook it. “And Rusty, I see you don’t spend all your time with flowers.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “If Lexi had her way, I’d spend all my time here.” That was the truth.
“And Junie would have you spend all your time there. He’s a popular guy.” Lexi patted his back like he was a little kid. Right then he felt like one. “Well, Rusty can show you the hay and straw we have, and you can see what works for you. We just baled the straw, though it’s still in field. We have some hay in the back area, and we should be cutting again in a few weeks, so we could bale it in a form you can use. In any event, I’m assuming once you’re done with the bales, we can take them back, ’cause we sure have a use for them.”
“Absolutely.”
“Great. I’m going in to see my mom.” Lexi waved a hand toward the house. “When Rusty’s done showing you, come on in and let me know what you’ve decided. Rumor has it Mom’s made a peach cobbler.”
***
Kristy was about to decline—meeting Rusty’s mother was not on her agenda—but Lexi had already moved on toward the house. Here she was with Rusty again. If this continued, he’d think she was stalking him. He was a sight for her tired eyes, looking all cowboy in his hat, boots, jeans, and T-shirt that stretched over his chest. A big buckle accented his trim waist.
She licked her suddenly dry lips. “I hadn’t expected to see you. I mean so soon.”
He had stopped a few feet from her, his eyes traveling from the top of her head to her sneakers. Had she known, she would have taken a little more care this morning. Dressed in a shirt instead of a tee, maybe even put on her cowgirl boots.
And when had she cared about her looks? Not since Dean. And now?
“Me either. You might not believe this, but I didn’t find out you were coming until I saw you standing here.”
Seeing the angst in his eyes, she did believe him.
Was Rusty’s sister playing matchmaker? Kristy wasn’t sure how she should feel about that. Flattered? Annoyed? Scared?
Maybe she should just enjoy the beautiful day accompanied by a handsome companion and all-around nice guy. If she could keep things on the friend level.
She couldn’t fall for his charming ways. Charm didn’t last. She’d learned that lesson. Hadn’t she? Guess she was going to find out.
“Well, lead the way.”
“Hay’s in the old lean-to in the corral. As Lexi said, we’ll be cutting more, so they could bale it differently, and there should be enough to make a maze in the big hall. Straw is out in the fields. I can take you out in the pickup…” He cocked his head. “Or we could ride out there. It’s not far. We’ve two horses already saddled, if you’re inclined.”
She’d always loved to horseback ride. It had been a few years since she’d had time or opportunity for it though.
“Maybe you don’t ride?” he asked.
“Oh, I ride. You can’t grow up in Wyoming and not ride.” She’d never had her own horse, but she’d taken lessons and ridden at a friend’s ranch.
“And?”
“Let’s ride.” It would be wonderful to slide onto a horse again. She glanced in Rusty’s direction as he led the way along the corral fence. His face was taut and his shoulders tense. Not his usual calm, cool, and collected self. She wondered if seeing her had caused that unsettled look on his face.
She could understand. Being close to him again so soon after their little tête-à-tête had caught her off guard too. But any unease was being replaced by curiosity to see him in his element. See what made him tick. Understand better why he’d never wanted to be a rancher.
And for what reason.
Was her curiosity a sign that she was more interested in Rusty than she’d planned to be?
Why did relationships have to be complicated?
Friendship was a wonderful thing. She shouldn’t need anything more. At least not right now.
Two horses were in the corral, already saddled and indulging in some high grasses. She wished she had her cowgirl hat with her, because it would be hot out on the trail. From her vantage point, the mostly flat land was sparsely dotted with trees and only a low hill here and there to break things up. The chestnut horse raised its head as they strode by.
“The hay is over there.” He motioned toward the open-air structure comprised of a wooden roof and some beams holding it up. Big spirals of hay were stacked side by side.
Rusty strode to the hay. Kristy followed, picking her way through the grass and manure. Rusty pulled out a large clump of hay and slammed it on the dirt while she was still a few feet away. Dust rose up like smoke from a fire, dancing in the breeze.
“See how dusty it is? With all the allergies people have these days, this may not be the best choice for an indoor event.”
As she brushed the dust off her pants, she nodded. “I see what you mean.”
“We just came in from fixing some fencing in the west pastures. Those two”—he pointed to the two horses that stood watching them with curiosity—“have had time for a drink and should be ready to go.”
“Which one should I ride, considering I’m a little rusty?” She chuckled. “No pun intended.”
“Sheba.” He pointed to the brown one, who was still munching away. “She’s the calmest. I’ll ride my sister’s horse, Misty.”
“Funny that Misty has the same color hair as you do. And your sister.”
“I think that was part of the attraction for Lexi. She scraped together the money to buy her, and she’s never regretted it. Misty is probably one of the best ranch horses around these parts, and my sister trained her. She’s doing that now as sort of a sideline, with her husband’s blessing.”
They walked to the corral entrance. Rusty opened the gate, and Kristy walked through. The latch clicked behind her. Kristy approached the brown mare, who didn’t seem the least bit concerned or curious. “I wish I had brought some carrots for her.” She brushed her hand down the side of Sheba’s neck. “Doesn’t seem like she’s holding it against me.”
Rusty picked up Misty’s reins. “She won’t. Sheba doesn’t have a bad bone in her body.”
Like Rusty , she thought.
“Do you need me to give you a boost?”
“It’s been a few years, but I think I can still get on myself.” It was probably more than a few years. “But maybe stand by, just in case.” She grabbed the reins, then the saddle horn, put her foot in the stirrup, and tried to hoist herself up, but her one leg dangled awkwardly, refusing to go over the saddle.
Before she could lower herself to the ground to start over, she felt warm breath on her neck and two hot hands pressed around her waist. Up she went. As she shifted in the saddle, her waist felt like it had been branded.
She took a deep breath, hoping to dispel the surge of sensations bombarding her. “Thanks. As I said, it’s been a while.”
Rusty didn’t comment, just fixed the stirrups for her. Without another word, he lengthened the stirrups on his saddle and mounted his horse in one graceful movement, putting her awkward attempt to shame.
She watched as he reined his horse around. Though he claimed not to be a cowboy, Rusty certainly looked every inch like one, sitting on a chestnut mare, cowboy hat on his head, boots on his feet, back straight, and reins in hand.
“We’ll ride side by side so I can keep an eye on you since ‘it’s been a while.’” He winked.
Blood rushed to her cheeks. Great. Now she’d have him in her sightline the whole ride. Why she was so taken with this man was beyond her. Yes, he was good looking. Yes, he also seemed like a good guy. But the way her body reacted to being near him defied logic. She was not interested in a relationship. At least that was what her mind kept telling her. If only her body would listen, because it was saying something totally different.